I had my trust betrayed - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 3 Old 04-16-2014, 03:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been in two minds about sharing this, but decided it's worth doing because one never knows how useful advanced warning could be. These days we could be talking to anyone on the internet. The internet never was a safe place, but over the time of talking to that family my foster mum introduced me to, I grew to love and trust them as if they were my own sisters.

About twelve months ago, Rachel introduced me to some online friends of hers she had known for over a year. Almost every night I spent getting to know this family. They were very nice, caring people who had separate instant messenger accounts so they could let me know by email who was going to be online, and when. They were 7 hours behind me until moving north in America to become just 5 hours behind me, a big difference. 

Anyway, one of them was an adult, mum to one of the teenage girls I regularly talked to. We got on so well. In her I was a kind of replacement to the two daughters she had tragically lost years ago, but never got over. To me, this lady was to become an online mum to replace my real mum who had killed herself. Over the months last year she and I grew closer still because I found she was easy to trust because of her obvious sincerity and caring. She gave me help in coping with my own mum's own suicide and latterly my brother's death from drugs and that of my estranged father.

But I began to wonder if these people were really genuine because their family's loves and losses seemed to mirror mine in to whom I was adopted. For example, when I mentioned one of my oldest sisters witness the deaths of her own parents as she anxiously waited their late return home in Prague, this older lady told me of similar. That she had witnessed the deaths of her two daughters and husband in a road accident right outside her house. How strange that she raised the subject at the time when I was sharing about my siblings.

Another girl in this family said almost verbatim her bitter experience that mirrored my own personal abuse suffered at the hands of my mother. And so these little stories came out, one by one. Only there were many more coincidencies. My family who adopted me aren't short of a penny or two, and of my own inheritance on account of my late mother, brother and father whose properties he left me I had liquidated. Similarly, she said her own family had become wealthy following the death of one of theirs. Feeling uneasy and not a little unsettled I told Rachel, so she began making private investigations about this family we were talking to every evening. Those investigations went through her lawyer and though it took time, evidence mounted to prove these people were not genuine. Chillingly, one of the older girl's indentity and that of their cousin were not found and that was after considerable investigations from mum's lawyers who had employed a private detective who pinpointed where they lived.

It turned out that the mother I had taken into my trust had a personality disorder. When I criticised one of her family on proving I had been blatantly lied to, I received an avalanche of emailed abuse. Nasty vicious emails, completely horrible. During the week that led to that fateful day when I hit a breakdown from the horror of having my trust betrayed, it dawned on me that the lady I had taken into my heart had never had kids and had been pretending to be two people. All she told me in email and during instant messenger turned out to be total, total fiction. That fateful day I had a breakdown I discovered she had an alter-ego with which she used to crush me. I don't remember much of what happened except in a rage I broke my computer, smashed it up before self-injuring.

These people who played games with me were from the outset, kind and caring. Towards the end they became calculating and cruel. They did my head in. They betrayed my trust. They broke my heart. Their nastiness triggered me into having a breakdown last Christmas.

I think people who play mind games should be locked up. Whoever they were they should have never have contacted my beloved foster mum and hurt her heart, too. They hurt my feelings til I went numb. Consequently I was left frightened, very wary of talking to people online. I can barely find the courage to talk to people on my yahoo messenger, except for one girl, a Canadian I've known a long time.

Thanks to a special and very trusted employee in Mark who has worked for my family for many years before I even came along, I got well again. The advice and encouragement from him has been invaluable. At home since that terrible encounter with those deceptive people, my sisters and my counsellor continue helping me get well again. I am well again now because of the hope my family including Mark bestowed on me, for I continue to grow in strength and in character. There is always hope. Except I will never forget how those liars, those ghastly people, whoever they were, had made me feel.

 

 

PS. Apologies for the misplaced text, but my internet went down just at the time I hit post.

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#2 of 3 Old 04-16-2014, 10:50 PM
 
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I read your post and just wanted to respond by giving you a hug( hug) I have no advice really. Guess it is time to try to move on forever by processing now.
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#3 of 3 Old 04-17-2014, 01:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much. Yes, you are right. I am moving on, but every so often a piece of music triggers my memory and that's when...

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