I've broken off my engagement to Mark - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-20-2014, 04:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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and feel better for it.

 

This morning he went to Silverstone for another practice run ahead of a planned race this May. Mark belongs to the Bentley Driver's Club, as shown here http://www.bentleymotors.com/world_of_bentley/motorsport/ 

 

Racing is a man's world which I've never been into or, supportive all that much and today's weather would have meant me hanging around with Juniper in tow. Like the best of us she hates wet weather, my sisters included. Except Mark has been out all day and mostly out of contact, whereas I've been inside because of the weather, my sisters having great times with Juniper and I. But Mark, he didn't phone home once asking how we all were, let alone our little darling. Tonight he came home at 10 PM, been wining and dining megs my nanny no less, though she's not contracted to work public holidays.

 

What infuriated me was, Mark kept making excuses that he deserved time off to do his own thing. Well, that's fair enough. That's not the argument because we each have our own interests, not always wanting to be in each other's pockets all of the time. While I am trusting of my nanny (she's 32), what I do take exception of was Mark staying out more than 12 hours, missed our family's  special get together at Easter, and stayed off the radar until he came in late tonight. That's not on and I told him so.

 

Earlier I told mum Rachel and she agreed it would be best to put an end to my engagement with Mark. He's too set in his ways and she'd be the second to agree with me on this. So in future I am keeping my relationship with Mark purely professional and am glad to have made this decision. Mark? He was very sad. Well - tough! His love for bling! cars never impressed me. I think top marque cars that have prestige and performance may well reflect their owner's position in life, that which they have worked hard to achieve and I don't begrudge Mark that. Only I am a devoted mother first and foremost, and my adoring love is for Juniper. Her ultimate happiness has absolutely to come first - she missed him. She kept asking where he was and it just cut me in two.

 

In life, you win some and you lose some. But at the end of the day, Mark isn't my choice for a future with my little girl. Ultimately it's her happiness that counts, not forgetting mine also.

 

 

I want to take this moment to thank many of you for your ongoing support both by private messages and on the forum. It was a happy coincidence that I found you on this lovely mothering forum, and now I am here to stay. :)

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Old 04-21-2014, 05:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This morning my Aunt has transferred Mark to Monaco and Megs has gone with him. Behind my back they were having an affair; a flagrant breach of trust to me and to Juniper. Thank goodness my little darling is blissfully unaware of their unprofessional duplicity.

 

I should have spotted the warning signs, but I have been very tired of late, both physically and mentally. Moreover, my responsibility is my daughter, her welfare and happiness and, to my mother who will be returning for more respite care tomorrow morning. I feel - empty. Which is understandable. But I am going to carry on because there is work to be done, my sisters supportive as is the rest of my family.

 

I've called Penny, a 20 year old girl who has been friendly with my Aunt and I, and I've asked her to come stay with us. Penny has a little boy same age as Juniper, is a single parent. Her little boy will crack along really well with Juniper our other children. I'm so looking forward to seeing Penny again. We've kept in contact by email and phone.

 

The curtain falls upon this stage of my life, but rises again to reveal another, yet to be lived. Hopefully this time with joy, and laughter, and happy, happy days. :thumb 

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Old 04-21-2014, 12:23 PM
 
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Wow good call on ditching him!
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Old 04-21-2014, 12:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for that. :)

 

Mark's behaviour didn't ring right. So I mucked him out.

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Old 04-21-2014, 05:55 PM
 
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Muck that schmuck!
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Old 04-21-2014, 06:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Muck that schmuck!

 

Haaa thanks very much, but at the time I was thinking more of the cow shed. :rotflmao

 

I was just thinking. . .. what a stupid waste of what was a really good friendship that had steadily built up. And to think my nanny fell for him while knowing I was trying to find a keel in my life when she could have had the pick of so many elegible men that she already knew on her Facebook. No point mulling over what was. Best probably best now for me to look forward and not feel negative anymore. Because there's a whole lot of living and - making new friends to be done. Penny is arriving tomorrow bringing her little boy. There's plenty of room in the house for them, and Juniper will have a playmate. So cheers for the rest of the week!

 

And tomorrow is another Indian curry. WOOHOO! :thumb

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Old 04-21-2014, 09:36 PM
 
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I love the double entendre that mucking the schmuck brings to my mind. Eww and Ewwwwwwwwww.
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Old 04-22-2014, 05:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Lol.

 

Megs wanted a quick sale on the house I initially bought her, so I offered 20% less that its original price because property values I inferred had lowered in the area. I also demanded she paid the conveyancing fees including VAT. Megs agreed, albeit too swiftly just to get me out of her hair. Mum said I was an 'effing pirate'. I said tough, nothing wrong with being economical with the truth.

 

Strike iron while it's hot is what I say, put a bit of stick-about, make 'em jump. My gain, Megs' loss.

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Old 04-22-2014, 05:48 AM
 
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You can buy me a new house wink1.gif
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Old 04-22-2014, 05:49 AM
 
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This chick must not of heard don't bite the hand that feeds you:)
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Old 04-22-2014, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This chick must not of heard don't bite the hand that feeds you:)

 

So true, but I've found that people don't remarkably do a 180 and change for the better, despite good intentions and profuse apologies. They are what they are.

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Old 04-23-2014, 07:44 AM
 
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I'm sorry to hear this, but heartened to see you handling it with such humor and self-respect.  A wonderful gift to yourself and your little girl!  Be kind to yourself.


Empty-nesting SAHM to DS1 (1989), DS2 (1992), and an overachieving mother (1930). Married to DH since 1986.
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Old 04-23-2014, 10:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you - I am being gentle on myself, too.

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Old 04-23-2014, 11:47 AM
 
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Tangential but fancy cars reflect a lot more than hard work...class is a issue w this, too. People working at McDonald's work really hard too. And can't often afford any running car at all.

So sorry about your situation. Betrayal is just the worst. Been there. So sorry. I love your attitude though--you are so right, people are who they are.
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Old 04-23-2014, 12:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Tangential but fancy cars reflect a lot more than hard work...class is a issue w this, too. People working at McDonald's work really hard too. And can't often afford any running car at all.

So sorry about your situation. Betrayal is just the worst. Been there. So sorry. I love your attitude though--you are so right, people are who they are.

 

Erm, I do realise and understand that other people struggle with making ends meet and work equally hard; I apologise if what I shared made you feel so bad that you had to comment. Mark's lifestyle no way reflects mine neither does class.

 

I was raised to question everything and be unafraid of speaking my mind. Only do it with gentleness for those who need a loving heart full of understanding, but become tiger-like unto those who wantonly trample on others' feelings. Much as Mark and my nanny hurt me, I am moving on. As said on a previous topic on the forum I shall royally box his ears by return of post, the nanny also. Stinging rebuke written, I shall then close the 'book' and get on with my life and that of my little girl's. We have, Juniper and I, a bright new beginning. Growing together with family. Anything else is an afterthought. :)

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Old 04-30-2014, 09:44 PM
 
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How ya doing spider pig?
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Old 05-01-2014, 02:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How ya doing spider pig?

 

Nice of you to ask - since that sack of dung left taking my nanny who I fired - I'm managing very well. I got family taking turns with our kids: Aunty's, Penny's and my Juni. I'm actually relieved Mark left because our relationship was heading nowhere, for my real love is Penny. We have embarked on a relationship, but taking it slowly. She's a carpenter by trade and there's plenty of work for her. Aged 20 she's a super cook, too. :)

 

Emotionally I'm much stronger. Physically I always was. I don't take crap from people, as those in my village damn well know. :wink Thanks for your PM, by the way. I'll reply later after work.

 

Thanks for coming by. Huggs.  :)

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Old 05-08-2014, 09:45 PM
 
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Hi All, I've removed some posts that were offtopic. Please remember to keep discussions focused on the topic of the thread, rather than discussing other posters. :) 


hh2.gif Head over to the Holiday Helper forum and be a part of this wonderful Mothering tradition! joy.gif

Wondering about Mothering in general? Check out Mothering's User Agreement! smile.gif

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Old 05-15-2014, 06:10 AM
 
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Are you OK? After all, it is a big step 

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