Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
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Letting go of friendship
I'm feeling sad because I need to let go of a friendship. Because we've moved a lot, I don't have a wide friend circle, and few old friends. This is a friend who lives where we do but we've known for years. After his marriage fell apart, he moved here to be close to my husband and I. He used to be my husband's best friend, and I used to think of him like a brother.
He is now engaged to a woman who is truly horrible. She is snobby, spoiled, unpleasant to be around, and very immature. I also think she has an eating disorder. I believe the reason he is marrying her is because she is an only child of rich parents. I believe the reason she is marrying him is because she wants to have a big wedding, and he'll look good in a tux. We had dinner last week, and I'm not even sure she understands that after the wedding they'll be married.
My husband agrees with me that the woman is awful and that marriage will most likely end in another divorce, but feels that:
1. He's a grown man, and if he wants to mess up his life, its his call.
2. Because they now work together (my husband is now his boss) and he has had to talk to him about work performance (because new woman doesn't understand that he actually has to work) that it would complicate the work thing to talk to him honestly about the impending wedding.
It's really a mess, and I need to extract myself from the situation. She says rude things to me, and he is changing the more time he spends with her. He's always been a bit on the egotistical side, but it was in balance with a lot of good traits. Now, he is becoming the worst version of himself, and someone I don't want to be around.
I told my husband that I don't want to spend more time with them, and he doesn't want to either.
But I keep thinking about it and obsessing about it. It's like a scab that I keep picking off. That's why I posted it on this board. I need to grow. I need to let it go and get it with my own life.
I think that part of my problem is that I have so few old friends and I really hate to loose one. His exwife and I were friends, and they were our favorite couple to hang out with (we all used to live in the same city). Because my DH's career has moved us around, I've lost so many people, and I don't want to loose another one.
None the less, he's picked his current path, and our values aren't the same.
but everything has pros and cons