Maria Kang's Mom-Shaming Campaign Needs to Stop - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 49 Old 12-23-2014, 10:19 AM - Thread Starter
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Maria Kang's Mom-Shaming Campaign Needs to Stop

As a spin-off to our discussion 10 Great Ways to Be an Unhappy Mom I wanted to share this as well because it fits right in there as a top ten.

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Every time my toddler tantrumed or my baby cried, my hand went in the candy bowl before I dealt with the situation. It was my crutch, a very unhealthy one, but I don’t know what I would have done without it. My chocolate habit prevented me from losing any baby weight. I hated it. I felt miserable in my skin. Going through a difficult phase of life while feeling like Jaba the Hutt does not make for a happy mom. So imagine me in all my rolly polly glory looking at this professionally taken photograph.
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Look at that. Look at all of her hardships. Surely you do not have it worse. Surely “no nanny or chef” is like right at the top of your first world problems. You are tired, you say? Well Maria-take-your-excuses-elsewhere-Kang has limited sleep too! She’s just like you moms! I saw this and started thinking about my excuses. Then I looked at her would-be excuses and laughed. Working over eight hours a day, Maria? I wish that made the top of a bullet point list. I started thinking about what I had done that day instead of working out. I thought about the sleepless night ahead of me and the string of ones behind me. Then I thought about all the other women looking at this poster child of health and wondering if they had the strength to realize how much it’s crap.
There is so much truth to this article that I want to share it with every mom trying to fit into the perfect everything mold. You can read it here but please do share your thoughts with me on this as I have a constant struggle. I want my beautifully fit body back but it is so damned hard and I do shame myself in the process of trying and failing constantly.

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#2 of 49 Old 12-23-2014, 12:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by cynthia mosher View Post
As a spin-off to our discussion 10 Great Ways to Be an Unhappy Mom I wanted to share this as well because it fits right in there as a top ten.




There is so much truth to this article that I want to share it with every mom trying to fit into the perfect everything mold. You can read it here but please do share your thoughts with me on this as I have a constant struggle. I want my beautifully fit body back but it is so damned hard and I do shame myself in the process of trying and failing constantly.
Hold up, I thought Maria Kang was a personal trainer?

I have a nanny, and I will cry when he moves on, but he doesn't acquire me the time I'd need to spend working out to look like that. Looking like that is a lifestyle commitment requiring immense amounts of time, even for people who win the genetic lottery.

ETA:

I looked this up, because the claim in the photo that Maria Kang is not a trainer really bugs me. According to her writer bio on bodybuilding.com:
Quote:
Maria Kang is a fit mother of 3 boys born in 2009, 2010 and 2011. She has successfully competed in both beauty and fitness competitions since the age of 16. Her extensive fitness background expands a period of over 14 years as a personal trainer, group exercise director and instructor, membership sales counselor, fitness manager, freelance writer, and now founder/director of her fitness nonprofit, Fitness without Borders. She also founded the mom-me fitness club, a group where local moms meet at the park and exercise with their children.
I think that means she was a personal trainer for fourteen years, but her grammar is poor, and she may, in fact, mean something else. Nonetheless, it is disingenuous of her to claim that she's not a trainer, athlete or fitness model in these photos, when her professional background is personal training, her personal hobby is fitness competition, and I don't know what the definition of "athlete" is if her level of gym activity doesn't qualify.

Last edited by MeepyCat; 12-23-2014 at 02:19 PM. Reason: Clarification
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#3 of 49 Old 12-23-2014, 10:41 PM
 
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My input to this is also that it takes a great deal of selfishness to obtain a body of that appearance/fitness level.

As a mama who has had back to back children for many years, and have 8 total, I certainly have my own struggles. I actually had some modeling gig's before I was married and had children.

What "cured" me of my obsession of self, was having my "perfect" body ravaged by chemotherapy and high dose steroids that resulted in Cushings syndrome, when I was just 20 years old. I was just thankful for having my life..

Now, years later, I am a great respecter of health, AND, I believe women who have babies and mother them in a fashion that doesn't leave very much time for self, are more beautiful than any other creature God has made. The self-sacrifice is unmatched.

This isn't to say that spending time on ones health/physical fitness is some kind of sin. I'm simply saying, that perspective is key. I want to be healthy and attractive for myself, my husband, my children, etc. I want to be a joyful reflection of love in my life, so I work hard to ensure that most days I eat healthfully, present myself attractively, and try to maintain a level of health that I can do simply by serving in my home and being active with my children.

Being pregnant with twins, I'm as heavy as it's ever been for me, and I will look to breastfeeding, healthy foods, and an active lifestyle to get back the best body I can have for me, after self-sacrifice of bearing children. At one point, women who were full-figured and feminine were highly attractive to our culture and in European cultures, because it was identified as the prize of motherhood/womanhood. Now, it seems, we are only attractive if we spend all our time/effort/money looking as if we never had a child at all.

I'm thankful for my mama body, and anytime I lament my stretch marks, or my widened hips or less than perfect abs, I am reminded that I have been a vessel for 8 lives brought to Earth, and am a vessel for TWO more...that's more remarkable to my soul than any shaming from a fitness guru!

Blessings, mama's!

Blessed Christian Wife and Homeschooling Mother joyfully raising 8 children from almost 18 to and Boy/Girl blessings #9 and #10 due to arrive April 2015



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#4 of 49 Old 12-24-2014, 08:18 PM
 
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I'm not a fan of self-sacrifice as a parenting strategy - I think that some reasonable self-indulgence is good for people. Personally, I find I have more to give my kids when I take some time and space to recharge, and I think it's important to own that when I talk about parenting.

So what's my excuse for not looking like Maria Kang? Why do I need one? All the people look different, it's part of what makes the world interesting. I'm not goingto slam her for putting in the workout time, nor will I look down on anyone who doesn't.
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#5 of 49 Old 12-24-2014, 09:34 PM
 
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No, there certainly is nothing wrong with having some time to recharge. I typically enjoy a long bath at least once a week. When I'm not expecting, a glass of wine is a nice way to indulge, as well. It's not "much" but I enjoy it, and don't really enjoy having time away from the family, so it works.

I am a woman who doesn't really take the time anymore to concern myself much with what other mothers are doing or to criticize them. I just don't find it beneficial, and comparisons are never a good thing. However, when an article basically challenges mothers to put enough effort into her own body to achieve that physical appearance, I do bristle. There is no way I would have the time to put my children first in my life-including their education, and keep a peaceful home and spend time with my husband to keep our relationship a great one, AND serve myself.

I'm not a slave to children, but they do deserve to be mothered, and me choosing the gym that much over them isn't on my radar, so her basically challenging, "why should you be lazy and fat if I'm not" is answered by me, "well, because you asked, I would say because I choose to mother my children all day and I can't do both in this season of my life".

A few minutes in the morning applying some makeup, and working hard each day with my hands to raise children, clean, teach and prepare homemade healthy food is more rewarding and longer lasting than six pack abs I'm not going to show the public anyway. My husband thinks I'm sexy, I am grateful I don't struggle too much with weight, and after all these children, I can't be anything but thankful and blessed, even if I choose that I can't devote the time to look that way.

Again, whatever women want to do..I just think the physical outside is a bit superficial in the grand scheme..and it only matters to me because of the personal challenge in the article/photo.

Whatever makes people happy...everything can't be good for everyone, though...that would seriously and negatively impact my family, regardless of what a guru says.

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#6 of 49 Old 12-24-2014, 10:00 PM
 
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Wait, she claims not to be a personal trainer? Dude. Not fair. You run a business (non profit yes but it pays someone to run it) that is all about fitness. You are a personal trainer to everyone who signs up for your programs. I love what you said @MyFillingQuiver , it's so true. Most mamas don't have the self interest to take on a new hobby that is hours a day just because they had a baby and our bellies no longer look like a 15year old. I'm striving towards my own fitness goals, but I am never going to emphasize my body enough to become "extra fit". I find my (homemade but still quite caloric) latte and muffin a great start to the day. Extra kudos to anyone with the self discipline to eat spinach smoothies every morning and work out instead of sleep/read/sew/bake muffins. Moms, myself included, need to stop feeling bad about being themselves. This is herself, her hobby, which is lovely for her. I myself like muffins and sitting down at the end of the day to unwind and relax. My children like my muffin breakfasts too . I like to think it's healthy for them to see that balance in me. Sort of healthy, sort of fun.

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#7 of 49 Old 12-25-2014, 01:34 PM
 
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The link doesn't work for me.

My answer to that graphic is the same now as the first time I saw it: I don't NEED an "excuse". I don't owe anyone an explanation of why I am not a carbon copy of another human being, no matter their shape. There is nothing to "excuse". I haven't been impolite or inconsiderate, nor have I failed to meet the expectations of my loved ones, or of someone to whom I have legal obligations.

If I felt I needed to excuse myself, though, I would start with the fact that I have never, ever in my life looked anything like that, even before having children. And without serious plastic surgery, I never WILL look anything like that. Which is not to say that I am currently happy with my shape, weight, or fitness level - I'm more than aware that I am not making the healthiest choices right now. I could go back and forth with someone (or myself) all day about how many of my unhealthy habits/choices are "justified" or "reasonable", but even if I were making choices I was 100% comfortable with, it wouldn't lead to a body like that. And that is totally okay with me. My life will never look like anything you can find on Pinterest, either - not the wall decor, not the cupcakes, not the Halloween costumes - and I am working my hardest to be okay with that. No one should have to justify why their skill sets and hobbies aren't the same as someone else's, which is essentially what this picture asks us to do. Maria Kang is interested in and good at physical fitness. Good for her. That can be a reasonable and healthy hobby for an adult woman. But there's no reason we all need to share it.

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#8 of 49 Old 12-26-2014, 06:11 AM
 
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I think the backlash against this photo is just as bad as the photo itself. Taking care of your body does not automatically make you selfish or a bad mom.

I know plenty of good mom's that look like this and plenty of bad mom's that look like Mama June and vice versa! If you have good genetics, form and discipline it's indeed easy to look like this with minimal effort. Most of us don't, I know I'll never look like this personally but I don't use that as an excuse to judge those who do look like this.

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#9 of 49 Old 12-26-2014, 07:57 AM
 
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Remember, the article is about her challenging mom's to look this way. I don't think anyone is judging her. In fact, I was very careful myself to say "whatever women want to do". If she is going to challenge mothers, though, she is going to need to be ready for some women to say, "hey, go ahead and do what you want to do to have this level of physical fitness, but don't assume all of us are going to make those sacrifices of time/priorities in which to be the same as you."

It would be one thing if all heavy/obese/unfit/ordinary/not tri-athelete material mothers made an article attacking uber-fit women and vilifying them and their choices, and telling them they were selfish.

When someone start a campaign that everyone should be exactly like them, it's going to cause some people to respond because the words imply perfection on their part and superiority. That's what she was looking for in her campaign: "No excuses", ie: "Nothing else matters as much as this body so it's priority #1 otherwise, anything coming before that fitness training would be an "excuse". Words matter!

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#10 of 49 Old 12-26-2014, 11:43 AM
 
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Over here there is a lot of this going on:
-working
-single parenting/'co-parenting' with an everyday sociopath who's favourite sport is manipulating the kids and trying to hurt me
-too little sleep
-busy little kids
-no family around to babysit or look after mama when she gets sick
-no nanny or chef
-no hired housekeeper
-arthritis

Big accomplishment - taking a daily shower. So what's your excuse for not bathing? he he...

Do I care if I don't have incredible hulk quads or flat abs? Nope. Do I want to be able to still walk when I'm seventy and not have my kids dealing with caring for me if I have a stroke in my 60', while they are trying to raise their own families/careers? Yep. That's what keeps me from reaching for that extra bon bon... and instead heading out the door for some exercise during my precious free time every other weekend (now just to figure out what to do those 2 weeks in between when littlest has such inconsistent sleep still!)

The tone of that ad suggesting we are supposed to look like her doesn't turn my crank, and I suppose it is intended to motivate. But it doesn't work for me.
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#11 of 49 Old 12-26-2014, 12:07 PM
 
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At this point in my life, I do go to the gym regularly. I still don't look like that. I don't have the genes for it. And I would be very surprised if she hasn't had some work done -- very few (almost no) women can have that little body fat and those boobs. Boobs are made of fat. For the most part, if you want all of your body to have almost no fat, and you want boobs, you have to go buy the boobs. (no judgment for those who make those choice, just being frank about reality)


Anyway, my youngest is 16 and my kids are both doing great. When they were little, it was a different story. One of my kids is on the autism spectrum. My husband travels a lot with his job. I used to stress eat.


OK -- I said it. Rather than reflecting "self discipline," my body reflected that I had more on my plate than I could handle, and I didn't have a support system. So sometimes I ate complete crap because it made me feel better, and I had few other options.


Things I didn't do -- yell at my kids, leave them less than stellar care, check out of my family either physically or mentally.


Now, it just makes me sad to think about those days. I'm glad they are over, but I don't feel any judgment for myself during that phase of my life, or feel that I need to make excuses for it. It's just what was going on.


What I see if the caption of the photo is a lot of judgment, and a complete lack of understanding that some people are dealing with things she isn't, or simply have other priorities.


Or even that "fit" looks different on different women. Here is a link to an article called "why you don't look like a fitness model" that has photos of women Olympic athletes. They are all in shape (and could bet her butt in whatever their sport is), but they don't look like her:
http://www.stumptuous.com/why-dont-y...-fitness-model

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#12 of 49 Old 12-26-2014, 01:53 PM
 
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Sigh. She went into her pregnancies more fit than most women; that makes it a lot easier to get back into shape afterward than if she wasn't that shape to start with. And working 8+ hour days WHEN YOUR WORK IS PHYSICAL FITNESS makes being fit a lot easier than when you have a sedentary job.

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#13 of 49 Old 12-26-2014, 02:54 PM
 
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There is nothing in that photo that says, "no plastic surgery" or "no photo manipulation".
Also, is there any mention of what daily life looks like for her and her children? Is she mothering them 24/7? Or are they in school/daycare while she's at work? Maybe she has no nanny or chef, but does she have a housekeeper? Or a spouse who does the housework and child care? Maybe a relative to help out?
If she is a personal trainer/fitness guru, then obviously working out IS her job (besides being a mom). If any of us need an excuse, it's that we don't make our living by working out to look like that.
Finally, I don't want to look like her. I just want to look like me.

I haven't read everything in the article or all the posts thoroughly, so sorry if some of these issues have already been addressed.
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#14 of 49 Old 12-26-2014, 02:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alpenglow View Post
The tone of that ad suggesting we are supposed to look like her doesn't turn my crank, and I suppose it is intended to motivate. But it doesn't work for me.
I agree that the motivation of the ad image is to motivate/get people to her site. And I also don't care much if that works for some people but like so many others have said, I would never look like that. Not even with surgery and photoshop. I also agree that the ad seems to mix fitness with outward appearance, which sucks. I also agree that parents need to take some time for themselves, in whatever form makes them feel whole. And I agree that Kang should have run this ad past a few more friends before running with it because it comes off as fairly naive. If I were her PR agent, I would have her run the exact same ad but with images of equally (or more!) fit mothers who don't have the same body shape as Kang.

Or, how amusing would this be? We all know that there isn't enough room for EVERYTHING, right? Kang's deal is a 6 pack ab. Wouldn't it be funny to pick our best/most prized attributes and picture ourselves in a similar ad? Mine would be a photo of me in my studio. I'd be covered in paint, a billion projects around asking "What's your excuse for not being creative?" Ha!

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#15 of 49 Old 12-26-2014, 03:16 PM
 
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Here is a good article: http://www.blogher.com/whats-wrong-p...at-do?page=0,2

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#16 of 49 Old 12-27-2014, 10:32 PM
 
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Or, how amusing would this be? We all know that there isn't enough room for EVERYTHING, right? Kang's deal is a 6 pack ab. Wouldn't it be funny to pick our best/most prized attributes and picture ourselves in a similar ad? Mine would be a photo of me in my studio. I'd be covered in paint, a billion projects around asking "What's your excuse for not being creative?"
Right?!

Having an athlete's body, being able to bench-press your own weight or run on a treadmill for two hours... those aren't requirements for life or health. Those are hobbies. (To my mind, frankly weird hobbies, but to each his own.) Shaming people for not indulging in your personal, time-consuming, potentially expensive hobby is just bizarre. I know a lot about the sinking of Titanic; do you? Oh, you don't? What's your excuse? You mean you're not a pro at dyeing your own cloth, or knitting fake chain-mail, or cosplaying, or crocheting amigurumi sushi, or sword-swallowing, or breeding heirloom turkeys, or whatever other random pastime someone on the internet has devoted her life to? Well, a pox on you and all your relations, you worthless waste of space!

Ridiculous and bizarre. Also, I had to squint to see that incredibly tidy, demure single patch of stretchmarks. So bah humbug.

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#17 of 49 Old 12-27-2014, 10:45 PM
 
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Good point - it does seem a hobby to obsessively work out. Nothing wrong with it if it doesn't interfere with overall function. But, imo it doesn't make her anything special for it, and the provocative and frankly arrogant/superior tone to the ad makes me less inclined to give a hoot.
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#18 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 05:17 AM
 
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I am irritated she claims not to be a peraonal trainer,
That's an outright lie.
My sister has a similar body type however and never had to work out to achieve it with minimal effort she can put on serious muscle too, that's her blessing I suppose.
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#19 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 05:38 AM
 
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My excuse is that I have absolutely no interest in looking like that and every second she expects me to spend doing specific exercises is a second I could spend doing something I actually want to do.

I do need to get better at stretching and some exercises. But more because I like the ability to walk than to look like anything in particular.


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#20 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 07:03 AM
 
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I used to run long distances (I did a few half marathons), and I loved it and miss it. It didn't make me look like that though, and I will absolutely never look like that again.
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#21 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 07:36 AM
 
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I find the article and image kind of shallow, but this discussion around it is interesting and kind of inspiring. I don't want to be one to judge another persons journey, I want to be happy with my body, I want to love myself enough to take care of my body (mind, spirit, ect), and I want to be able to pass that along to my children. All this to say I use to exercise a lot, I never looked "hot" by those standards but I felt so good and had lots more energy to serve my family. Here is to a healthier 2015.
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#22 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 11:18 AM
 
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I think it's better to focus on health than image, but even then you don't need an "excuse" if you don't do it.
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#23 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 01:12 PM
 
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I think it's better to focus on health than image, but even then you don't need an "excuse" if you don't do it.
yes, I've also seen adult women doing very unhealthy things to look a certain way.


A very common behavior I see is women eating completely differently than their families -- living on egg whites and protein shakes to be lean. Personally, I think it is important for me to model healthy eating to my kids, even though that means I am less lean because I eat things like fruit. And carrots. And whole grains It's a different value.


Also, several of the women I know who look more like Kang don't eat unless their man is there to see them eat. Otherwise, they live on diet beverages and meal replacements like slim fast. Then they eat and drink ANYTHING when their man is around. It's creepy and unhealthy to me. But they "look" a way that Kang would define as not needing an excuse.


(Economically, I fall into a demographic that is less likely to be obsess, but what I see women doing to maintain their weight is far from healthy)


My personal goals are being healthy, having a healthy relationship with food, being comfortable in my own skin, living my own life in such a way that it paves the way for my daughters to love and care about themselves and to be comfortable in their own skins. I find those challenging enough. They don't come naturally to me.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#24 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 05:38 PM
 
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Oh, yeah, people have definitely destroyed their health trying to look fit. I've seen a couple of "Biggest Loser" contestants come out about how bad the practices were for them. Sure, they dropped a huge amount of weight- but at a great cost. You take the risk of permanent damage.

I hate how look obsessed we are as a culture. I spent years in agony and doctors would just look at me and say "You're young, you're healthy(meaning thin), you don't have a problem". My partner used to be much healthier than me, but if they ever have a health problem then the doctors ignore it and focus on how they need to lose weight. I can understand mentioning it, but there are some things that aren't caused by weight.


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#25 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 10:05 PM
 
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Wait, she claims not to be a personal trainer? Dude. Not fair. You run a business (non profit yes but it pays someone to run it) that is all about fitness. You are a personal trainer to everyone who signs up for your programs. I love what you said @MyFillingQuiver , it's so true. Most mamas don't have the self interest to take on a new hobby that is hours a day just because they had a baby and our bellies no longer look like a 15year old. I'm striving towards my own fitness goals, but I am never going to emphasize my body enough to become "extra fit". I find my (homemade but still quite caloric) latte and muffin a great start to the day. Extra kudos to anyone with the self discipline to eat spinach smoothies every morning and work out instead of sleep/read/sew/bake muffins. Moms, myself included, need to stop feeling bad about being themselves. This is herself, her hobby, which is lovely for her. I myself like muffins and sitting down at the end of the day to unwind and relax. My children like my muffin breakfasts too . I like to think it's healthy for them to see that balance in me. Sort of healthy, sort of fun.
I wish i was this liberated. Instead I'm very obsessed with my body - or more accurately, trying to "get it back". I have been pregnant or breastfeeding since hte summer of 2011, prior to which i worked out daily and had, what i considered to be, a pretty hot body. I don't like the way my stomach looks, the skin is really weird and saggy. I don't find it attractive. I don't know how to feel attractive in this body. I look at women who are chunky and attractive and I'm in awe of them. They know how to wear makeup, how to dress, and how to carry themselves in a way that is very sexy. I just haven't figured out how to do that. I'm still battling with the last 10 pounds, i do feel mouting pressure now that dd is almost a year. Oh i wish it weren't so! I wish that people like Maria Kang were kinder, and more forthright. No one looks like that without spending a significant amount of time on fitness every day. It is a lifestyle, even with good genes. I am slowly cutting out things in my quest to lose weight - so far: chocolate, sugar, bread (odd piece here or there), and now the big one - cheese. It's so hard. I wish i could look in the mirror and be happy with a chunkier body.
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#26 of 49 Old 12-28-2014, 10:51 PM
 
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I know of no women who don't say they think they need to lose ten pounds. At least. I've seen women claim more, but no one ever seems to say her weight is fine.

I'm tempted occasionally to come up with a response to Maria Kang - a photo with a series of captions like hers. I want an arrow to my love handles that says "Teaching my kids to cook!", the guitar calluses on my hands ("Struggling with the G chord"), something that brags about finishing my holiday knitting on time, and the pointer to my leg stubble ("Can't be bothered.")
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#27 of 49 Old 12-29-2014, 01:03 AM
 
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I want to know where the stretch marks are in that photoshopped pic of her?

I am a registered nurse who has gained and kept on some weight since having the kids. I eat vegetarian and have for decades, but I don't exercise very often. I am a working mama, a student mama, and a wife. And at least a decade older than Maria Kang. I have bags under the eyes, real stretch marks, and lots of love in my heart. I just went for a health screening at work to get a free fitness tracker similar to a fit bit. I was expecting to not get very high marks, but my lipids panel came back pretty darned good except for HDL from lack of exercise. My BMI, which you would have thought was really awful based on media pics like the one above, was within the normal healthy range.

I would guess that Ms. Kang's body measurements, taking into account her overdeveloped muscles, is below healthy range based on her photo there, and if so, she's at risk for malnutrition and osteoporosis. Being thin is not all its cracked up to be. It is normal and healthy for a woman's body mass to be about 30% fat. We need some fat.


Since wearing my fit bit device I have realized that I walk a lot more than I thought I did just doing things around the house and going to the store and such. I have started to walk a bit in the evenings after getting the device though. Anyway, my point is that I thought I was a flabby, out of shape, certainly not fit for a poster child mom, and what I found out was my actual health was pretty good. And I'm normal. And probably there are a lot of other women who are normal and healthy and doing just fine, or just have a bit of improvement to make. But we are being given complexes and poor self-images thanks to people like her.

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#28 of 49 Old 12-29-2014, 05:00 AM
 
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I want to know where the stretch marks are in that photoshopped pic of her?
Under a thick layer of makeup and, as you said, photoshop. I imagine whatever professional makeup artist and photographer she worked with didn't feel stretch marks were as appealing as Maria claims to.

I actually love my stretch marks, they started fading awhile ago and I was really sad about it. They stopped, they're still clearly visible.


this is just a moment in time, step aside and let it happen
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#29 of 49 Old 12-29-2014, 06:45 AM
 
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And probably there are a lot of other women who are normal and healthy and doing just fine, or just have a bit of improvement to make. But we are being given complexes and poor self-images thanks to people like her.
I had a similar experience. I checked in with a doctor a couple of years ago - post two kids. I think I weighed more than I ever had and I suppose I figured I'd be cautioned to drop a few pounds. Nope. Doctor said my weight was well within normal for my body.

Viola P, I think that body acceptance comes in chunks. It's not that each day we adapt our thinking to our changing body. For me it's like a decade thing. About each 10 years I notice a shift in how I accept myself and how I want to approach certain issues related to health and body stuff. Now that I'm in my 40's I can't imagine having my body or my "look" be a central focus of my life. Not because that's vain (edited to correct) but because it's just not enough. The people my age or older to work out as a focus do it because it gives them the energy to do other things well. They talk about the time running gives them to think and work out problems. Or the energy they have for the day after working out. I am kind of envious of those things.

Troll? Here's me...

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#30 of 49 Old 12-29-2014, 08:31 AM
 
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I agree with the BMI issue mentioned above. While it is unhealthy to have a high BMI, it is equally, or sometimes MORE unhealthy to have a low BMI.

I was my weakest, and my immune system the most taxed when I was my thinnest. At 5'9, I was 118 lbs in high school and until I had my first baby, and then returned there between first and second children. It wasn't because I was trying to be skinny, it was just how it was. In fact, I ate a lot of calories. I then got very sick, had chemo, and probably would have been even skinnier had it not been from severe edema from steroids.

Anyway, my body is tremendously healthy at this point..I can just FEEL it. I don't need a BMI, testing, anything to tell me that. I have done things "you aren't supposed to do" through the years. I have eight children, I'm nearing 40, and pregnant with twins. I do not get any illnesses, I do not have any issues while pregnant, no post-partum issues, etc. I think for me, it's because I'm also living in a state of thankfulness and joy. I think being negative is toxic and there is plenty to be negative about, but I am compelled to live differently.

My body is heavier than I would choose it to be, BUT, I also do not attempt to look the way I did when I was 18. I do not wear tight jeans and revealing tops. I dress in very flattering Boho skirts mostly, feminine clothing that fits my shape..sometimes leggings with slimming tunics, etc. I also have very long attractive hair that makes me feel very feminine and pretty. Years ago I went back and forth between that and super cute short do's that for me are no-no's with a fuller figure.

Not to be too graphic, but my husband loves what being heavier without breast implants (like mentioned above) brings..big boobs..rounded hips...and yet still very polished and I don't feel overweight. I find this a great in between, as I can always lose the baby weight and get to a healthy weight for me, but will never be stick thin again..which is good, because I love to cook, to eat, to spend time teaching and loving my children and caring for my husband..all things I cannot do from a gym, pretending like my body can be an 18 year old frame again.

I don't want to be 18 again for anything!

Blessed Christian Wife and Homeschooling Mother joyfully raising 8 children from almost 18 to and Boy/Girl blessings #9 and #10 due to arrive April 2015




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