Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Midcoast Maine
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Was just thinking about this tonight and wanted to revive the thread......
My mother did acknowledge my birthday with a card this year, but when I wrote back to her to tell her what the kids were up to, etc..............no response. She loves to think that she is in control......
2/02, 4/05, 2/07, 11/09, and EDD 12/25/11
|Moderation (for anything) is something I plan to teach her, but I'm afraid teaching her that alcohol is only for "grown ups" would make her more inclined to try it as a teenager to act more grown up. I drink, as does my husband, but not to the point of being drunk (a beer or two is my max..not because I get drunk, but because I get tired and go to bed! Lol) I don't want her to fear alcohol, I just want her to understand what it can do to people, and how it's not the answer to any problem, ever.|
I have been to ACOA meetings and have found them helpful at certain times of my life, but I can't do it for ever - I find it overwhelming, and then I have to take a break. Which I am doing right now. Part of what is hard is that a lot of the members have such tough lives and were abused in multiple ways (I wasn't, just neglected and some verbal abuse), and having such a terrible time, I felt bad being there. My present life is pretty good, and I think I have been able to make good choices despite my upbringing.
My dad committed suicide 10 years ago, and my mom stopped talking to me 6 years ago. It did not come up, as my mother stopped talking to me right after my first child was born, but no, I would not have trusted her with my children.
Have to add this:
When we were kids, we were left with our alcoholic grandparents for a week or two each year, with this instruction: "You know how grandma and grandpa act funny in the afternoon? Well, don't go anywhere in the car with them then."
Yikes, do you see that I am having to figure out the whole parenting thing from scratch?
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