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#1 of 15 Old 11-07-2002, 03:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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please excuse this little outburst:

AAARRRRGHHHHH!!!

terribly sorry about that. i feel much better now.

i suspect i have a wee tiny problem with stress. my doctor says relax, my blood pressure is skyrocketing. my parents are driving me nuts, my kids are wearing me out, my aura looks like swiss cheese and my energy is draining away all over the place.

how do you at-home mommas handle stress when all your time and energy is occupied by little ones? i worked out at the Y today, and walked a bit, and i guess it helped a little...

blessings
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#2 of 15 Old 11-07-2002, 04:47 AM
 
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((HUGS))

I'm stressed too. I've had about a million hangup dead air sales calls lately. I call the phone Co to change my number. They give me some service to cut down on the calls. Then I try to call my friend and long distance doesn't work. My bill is never late so that isn't it. It's too late to fix tonight as the offices are closed.

I go to get in bed and the dog has peed on it. Now I am waiting for my my bedding (including my new down comforter) to get done washing and drying.

ARG!!!!!!!!

Maybe we both need a chill pill, lol.
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#3 of 15 Old 11-07-2002, 10:31 AM
 
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I try to take time for myself each day. I get pretty stressed out being home with 2 kids all morning, and then my 3rd child gets off the bus at 2:30. It's stressful just trying to get us all to the busstop on time!
When my dh comes home from work, I like to go for a little walk, sometimes on the beach. Or I go to Yoga on Mondays at the library.
Some days, I'll just go hang out with my mom at her house for awhile.
Anything to get me away from my home for a little to rest and regroup.
When I come home., I usually feel much better and I'm able to care for my family better.
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#4 of 15 Old 11-07-2002, 10:50 AM
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I think it is a big step just to acknowledge that you are stressed. Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to project this serene loving saintly momma thing going on, and then my oldest son informs me that I seem to be breathing funny, and asks whats up. Then I step back and say, yeah, I feel like a rat in a wheel, running and not getting anywhere trying to keep this place clean, people fed, fights broken up....perhaps I forgot to put breathing on my "to do" list.


I don't have any advice on destressing, I still havent got the hang of it.

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#5 of 15 Old 11-07-2002, 03:10 PM
 
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Hi frodo-I do what you do! Hope you're feeling better...
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#6 of 15 Old 11-07-2002, 04:32 PM
 
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Hi Frodo,

Hope you are feeling better. A good yell in a private place (After warning my DS that is... "mommy needs to go into the room an yell really loudly - don't worry.)

Then, I make myself a cup of Mothers Milk herbal tea, light a candle on my stove and cook the dinner. Also James Taylor on the CD player. That's about all I can manage for "self" time these days with a three year old - and now we've added a cat to our domestic equation - CHAOS!!!!!

Lots of warms hugs and good mellow sweet vibes coming your way.

(BTW - your head-banging visual outbirst was quite theraputic for me also!!! )

Blessings,
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#7 of 15 Old 11-08-2002, 01:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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sorry to hear about your down comforter arduinna. my cat died on one of my best towels last week. i burried it with her - just couldn't bring myself to wash it and ever use it again. oh, well, i'd been wanting to get new towels anyway. if i get some big white bath sheets and sew some black lace on them they'll match my new bathroom...i miss cosie so much. she was my stress kitty, all fat and floppy and squishable. i used to cuddle her like a teddy bear whenever i got stressed. she was the best cat! we still have tassie the evil tabby, but she's a *itch cat if ever there was one, and our black cat, also named frodo, but he's not quite as cuddly as old cos.

i don't think i could ever pass off a "serene loving saintly momma thing". all my friends would think i'd been kidnapped by aliens or something!

as if i didn't have enough stress, dd has started teething early.

there's a kundalini yoga class at the Y, and i missed it tonight because i was cooking supper. maybe tomorrow i can make it there to float in the pool or bake myself in the sauna for awhile. what i need is a meditation class. when i can, which is rarely, i'll go out for a cup of really good coffee and a used paperback, or hang out at a bus stop with a sketchbook for half an hour. i used to do that all the time - not time now. i miss that almost as much as i miss my cat!

in the meantime, my days have been like hitting myself on the head with a hammer. it feels so _good_ when i _stop_!

how do i get my 5 year old to understand that mommy needs some "mommmy time" too?

blessings
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#8 of 15 Old 11-09-2002, 11:40 AM
 
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Not that i wish other mothers to have the same struggles with stress that I do but....

It was a relief Frodo to read what you wrote about "never pass off the loving saintly momma thing". I'm great on the loving mamma part but the saintly? I have too much of a struggle with my stress and frustration induced anger bouts to ever be saintly. However, even knowing this about myself I constantly whip myself for not being like the other mellow, saintly mothers I know. Ssometimes even on these boards i feel like I am the only one who has trouble with undesirable personality behaviors.

Yesterday, which was a first in months (this is a long time for me) I lost it so badly during our daily drama of "it is time to get clothes on and go to the park..blah blah blah." that I had to excuse myself from my ds and cat, b-line to the bedroom, shut the door and scream my head off into a pillow. I serously screamed to hard that I was physically drained, my eyes swelled up, and my voice was hoarse until this morning. Thank goddess for the pillow and a door that closes. Then this morning I got so frustrated with ds hurling the ball at the cat (for him to chase of course) that I yanked the ball - oooh - out of his hands puffing "no more balls in the house EVER!!!" Not a good scene at all and mommy feels like a mean, miserable crumb. DH and I agreed that today I need to take some time for myself.

Peace
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#9 of 15 Old 11-09-2002, 06:29 PM
 
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frodo,
i am really sorry about your cat. that sounds like such a real, tangible thing to be stressed about. how about a good cry? if you need to watch a sad movie to trigger those feelings, it might be really theraputic. personally, now that i'm a mom, i dont cry as much as would be healthy, since i do try to keep myself *somewhat* in check around dd, then when i have time to let it out, i usually dont, even though it would help.
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#10 of 15 Old 11-10-2002, 04:41 PM
 
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Frodo,

I am SO sad to hear about your cat. When I read your post I completely missed that your cat died. Here is a big hug.. I'm sorry I so insensitively missed what you said the first time.

I hope you and your family are finding comfort.

Blessings,
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#11 of 15 Old 11-10-2002, 08:12 PM
 
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Another non-saintly mom with undesirable personality traits over here....

But my kids love me anyway.

I always feel stress in my back and my neck, anyone else?

Sounds like some good ideas above...cuddling, nature, art, meditation, crying with a good sad movie (any recommendations?) and the ever-popular scream into a pillow (I've done that!)

Sorry about the kitty the loss of a pet is more painful than the loss of most humans in my experience because of their unconditional love and cuddles.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#12 of 15 Old 11-11-2002, 06:55 AM
 
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yesterday I did lots of banging things and cried into my pillow, telling dd that I was going to come out when I'd finished crying. I don't usually do this and was tearing myself up with guilt about it although/because it was the only thing I could do.
She went to the kitchen and came back proudly with a drawing of me crying!! Somehow this reassured me that I wasn't damaging her forever by letting out my tension (most of it pre menstrual) this picture really melted my heart and when the heart energy starts flowing it washes away the stress for a while!
have been OK since. Keep on keeping on everyone, and so sorry about your cat, frodo....
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#13 of 15 Old 11-11-2002, 11:06 AM
 
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frodo...first, i loved the swiss cheese aura, made me smile (but i do feel bad for you!!)...

i agree with the post that says we alwaysve to be all smiley, etc. It can be exhausting to always be grateful, cheerful and in zen like state! Like, cant we have bad days? because we are at home moms, our days cant be bad or stressful? thats society's pressure...that if you are home, you are lucky, and should be damned grateful for it! I have 3 kids, including a 4 year old who runs with scissors, has almost hung himself 3 times, jumps from the top step...i could go on & on! thats why i go to work in an emergency room, i need the rest!!!

like the one post said, acknowledge your stress, dont pretend its not there, thats the first step. than take a break...read, dance, sing, call a friend, whatever. i find prayer helpful, but one of my "twig & berry" mom friends meditates and does yoga. she also centers her aura (whatever that means!! help me!).

finally, i have a perspective most women dont have. for 7 years i was in Open heart ICU nurse. these people were the sickest of the sick, near death, and almost always "coded" on me. i learned to manage my stress extremely well....so being at home with my kids is like cake to me compared to that.

just dont let anyone make you feel bad. being at home full time all the time can be very stressful, if only because of the isolation.

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#14 of 15 Old 11-11-2002, 12:49 PM
 
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"twig and berry" friends
I know a little of what you mean sweetbaby3, I only have one dd but I find training as a therapist which everyone else on the course finds utterly overwhelming quite a relaxing break!!
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#15 of 15 Old 11-11-2002, 05:23 PM
 
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Okay, so today I am either (Two-week-wait) pregnant or early pms-ing but either way I am so totally strung that (yes me too Momtwice) my neck is stiff from my low-back to the tp of my head. I think my neck muscles make a triangle from the base of my head to the tips of my shoulders _ I could catch a great wind if only I were a sailboat.

I've gotta go as DS is racing back and forth (DS whom I AGAIN cannot cget to put his pants on to go outside : ) This is seriously a daily occurrence. he had them on earlier - we actually had him dressed befor ebreakfast - BUT HE TOOK THEM OFF!!!! Aagh!) :LOL :LOL

So, anyway. Hang in there all.
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