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#1 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, Mindful Mamas!! This thread was started so the awesome, mindful mamas from the "Mindful Parenting Book Club" would have a place to ponder things together that weren't necessarily about our book discussion and to vent our issues in a respectful, caring, 'mindful' manner without making others feel ashamed or guilty of their choices. The book we are discussing in our book club is "Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting" by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. Maybe you have read the book or have heard of it. We welcome any mindful mamas that would like to join us on this support thread. Here's the thread to the 'Mindful Parenting Book Club Part IV' thread, if you're interested in viewing or joing our current book discussion: http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...threadid=39995
Please introduce yourself, if you'd like and state if you've read "Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting."

I'm a (mostly) mindful mom to my bundle of joy, 12 month old son in central Iowa. I've read the book "Everyday Blessings." My dh is starting to read the book and is a computer programmer for about 5 years now, but is pursuing his dream of a career in law enforcement. I originally went to school to be a psychologist, then I switched my major to become a social worker. Well I dropped out to decide what I really wanted and dh finished his schooling while I worked ft in all sorts of jobs. My dream job right now is staying at home (yes, really). Here are my interests: cooking, playing peek-a-boo, going on walks with ds and dh in the woods and neighborhood, reading to ds, visiting friends, going to LLL and AP meetings, reading, doing yoga, talking to my family in Texas on the phone, traveling to Texas to see family, talking to animals, taking ds's picture and whatever else I can do to make life livable and exciting!

DH and I have been married for 7 years and had a five year courtship. We were waiting for the perfect situation, careers, house, income, etc. before starting a family! We moved to Austin, Texas, where dh took a promising job, before I got pg and had house built after being there for six months. Twenty days after the house was built, and I was six months pregnant, dh was laid off due to the ecomony. Eleven days later was Sept. 11 and dh had already gone back to Iowa to get his old job back which took several months to happen. So I got our house sold and drove back to Iowa from Texas while 8 months pregnant! What an ideal situation, huh?

Our life has been a roller coaster ride of good times and bad. Our troublesome childhoods and marriage make the inner work of learning to be mindful a challenge but ds has inspired us immensely!

That's enough about me! Thanks for joining us here, mindful mamas! We can't wait to debate, discuss, and post like mad!!
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#2 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 02:05 AM
 
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Wow. You're one tough cookie, Heather!

More from me tomorrow!
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#3 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 10:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello, Breathe! Yeah, I'm tough but I can crumble too. Being pg actually gave me a reason not to fall apart during such an overwhelming time. I think the people that bought our house felt sorry for me b/c I was alone, pregnant , dh layed off, and trying to sell a house after right after 9/11 (ick)...so we got very lucky!! Ds and I bonded during such a frightening time in everyone's life. He was a major source of strength and it caused dh and I open our eyes to how fortunate we really were. Being layed off was easy compared to being dead [like many in WTC].

Don't you think hard times can make appreciating our 'everyday blessings' a little easier. It's only been a little over a year since dh and I were reunited after being apart for several months, and I'm back to taking too much for granted. However, trying to be aware and more in the moment does help to see the little miracles of each moment.

Thanks for checking out our thread, Breathe! Are you done with school this semester? Good luck on all that! I hope the other mamas from the book club will join us.
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#4 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 03:32 PM
 
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Hi guys,

Well, I was a few weeks PP on september 11th and trying to convince DH that we should buy a house. When we finally did, we were in bidding wars, but that was in May. Anyway, september 11th hardly registered with me except fort the fact that my MIl had the TV on really loud for endless stretches of time, and I was afraid she would never leave. I really feel like a whole part of my life was gone because I was in a crazy hormone fog.

Anyway, about pregnancy, I had sucha hard time emotionally because I was afraid of losing myself. I was in denial the whole time till one day I was really fed up with being pregnant. It was a week after my due date and I was about to be induced (with my enormous baby of 9 1/2 lbs). Then I had the weird aftermath, and I never prepared myself or anything. The opposite of mindful, but I think I would be a very different (and not neccesarily better) mother if I had been as organised aobut it as I usually am. Now I realize that, though I really grieved missing my pregnancy for a while.
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#5 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, Jacqueline~ DS is very NEEDY right this moment so I can't be on long but I wanted to note that I did not prepare much for motherhood...other than reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting," taking my vitamins, Eating well, exercising, doctor exams, and the birthing class. It's so easy to focus on being pregnant but forget that it is so temporary. I fantasized about the baby nursery, but couldn't afford any of the stuff I wanted to buy. We went to Babies R Us religiously to research what products we wanted to buy: carseats, strollers, clothing, etc.

Funny how unprepared we can be and feel when the baby arrives, but yet our bodies and instincts know what just to do. That is, if we can break through all our cultural messages and negative advice. You are not alone, Jacqueline, in feeling unmindful about your pregnancy and being unprepared. Everything is easier hindsight (hindsight is 20/20)!
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#6 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 05:01 PM
 
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Hm, glad I stopped in. I'll have to check into that book, haven't read it, but I did read the review at Powells (if they have one in stock on Hawthorne, I might go pick it up - so nice to be close to Powells )

I wasn't sure about what "mindful parenting" is, but I'm very into practicing being zen with my parenting.

I don't have any huge stories to tell - well, I could, but not right now, we sold our house and moved to Portland - it's a long story and I think I talked about it a while ago on another thread. And I'm just sort of gestating now and blissed out about that, so perhaps later

I haven't check out the Books and Movies forum yet, I spend so much time talking on other forums, I was afriad I'd never leave my computer

Cheers and thanks for the book reference.

Lori
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#7 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 05:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Glad you found us, Mystic, and you're welcome for the book reference. We hope you find time to come back here. You would fit right in with our mindful mamas! BTW, if you don't mind me asking, do you already have children?

Ds has a terrible cold...gotta go suck his nose again and cuddle the sweet little boy!

P.S. I'm holed up in this house (27 degrees and chilly this week) and thankful I have MDC. Otherwise I'd feel so isolated!
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#8 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 05:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Heather in Iowa
Glad you found us, Mystic, and you're welcome for the book reference. We hope you find time to come back here. You would fit right in with our mindful mamas! BTW, if you don't mind me asking, do you already have children?
Well, I suppose not is the best answer - not trying to be sad just that we had an m/c in the past and I felt like such a mom, esp afterwards, just didn't have the little guy in my arms. And since then I've sort of had this "momma glow" going on. And having the bundle growing inside right now really makes me feel matronly and nurturing. I've spent a lot of time thinking about the mama-ness of myself. So, I AM one, I just don't have the little shoes right now.

Glad to clarify, sorry it was a bit long and perhaps a downer.



Lori
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#9 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There I go putting my foot in my mouth! After I asked if you already had children, I had a not so funny feeling about your mama-ness. Thanks for sharing your excitement with us about your baby-to-be! I've never had a m/c, but my mother had one when I was eleven. She was six months pg when she m/c. So my heart goes out to you. I sort of understand the deep disapointment and sadness that goes along w/ an m/c from witnessing what my mom went through.
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#10 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 07:40 PM
 
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Aw, heck, it's ok, Heather

How could we know anything if we don't ask And I don't mind talking about it, much. I think it's better than pretending it didn't happen. It isn't comfortable, because it's sad, but I don't want to make anyone sad about it... Still awkward

ANYWAY, you didn't put your foot in your mouth. You're a sweet person. Sorry to cause you some distress

Lori
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#11 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 07:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for allowing me to be so curious! I won't feel like a nosey neighbor now.
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#12 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 09:58 PM
 
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hi heather,
i was delighted to see this thread and read about the book group. i love the kabat-zinns' book! it's been a couple of years since i read it and i lent my copy out to a woman in my meditation group who's had it for over a year now. i'd like to join in your book discussion, if i can reclaim my copy and catch up to you all!
i'd also love to participate in this group. i'm a mom of 2 -- dd madeline born 1/99 and ds harrison 12/01. sahm. former journalist. very ocassional freelance writer. i've had a vipassana meditation practice for 5 or 6 years now and have really begun noticing major benefits, both general state of mind and spiritual, in the last year or two. i don't sit nearly as much right now, but i have gotten to the point where i can touch base with a sense of presence on and off during the day. doesn't sound like much but i was so unconscious before i started my practice. i like yoga, when i have time for it, and hiking. oh, and i have a great husband who doesn't sit but will read a bit of my meditation/dharma books and is always willing and interested in discussing it with me.
you might be interested to visit the real life with a toddler board, where we are discussion what is essentially mindful parenting, though i didn't really label it as such, because i wasn't sure other folks would recognize the term. silly me.:
well, don't have time to talk much but i'm very happy to find your thread!
susan
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#13 of 98 Old 12-04-2002, 10:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah! A former writer in our group, that's read the book, and likes spiritual books. What an honor! Welcome to our group! Please join the book discussion, if you have time and get the book. We always welcome different viewpoints.
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#14 of 98 Old 12-05-2002, 10:20 PM
 
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jumping in from the book club to lend my support to the new "shoot" that grew from the original post. you remember that post? breathe? something like "can i get deep for a moment?".

gotta love how it has all progressed.

briefly to the newcomers:

i am wahm mom and 4 hours work out of home mom. ds stays w/dh while i am away, so ds is f/t home either way. i benefit from daily conscious practice by reading this book and meditating.

i am good at reminding myself daily of what is important, but still working on balancing all of those important things- kwim? i love parenting, and my career, and my dh, and my sanity. to have them all is a juggling act, but well worth the effort.

peace!
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#15 of 98 Old 12-05-2002, 10:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, Mamakarata! Thanks for your support over here. You are one busy mama! But it sounds like you are a very 'mindful' one. At least from what you posted, anyway, but I'm sure you're awesome!
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#16 of 98 Old 12-05-2002, 11:52 PM
 
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A quick hello to those of you I haven't "met" through the book club -

I'm a working mom who got to stay at home f/t with ds from his birth (11/4/01) to the end of August. It was a blast, but it's good to be working, too. As a musician, I am what I do and vice-versa. More on that another time.

Love the book, although I haven't finished it. Wishing for more mindfulness all the time with dh as well as with ds, and always working through the baggage of family and childhood.

Looking forward to your posts!
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#17 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 12:25 AM
 
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I don't think that I am a mindful parent, but I want to be. I typically don't enjoy being pg, so maybe this will help! I will look for the book, and be back to learn!
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#18 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 12:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, Momcat! O.k., what does momcat mean? I know Mamakarata is into karate, but I haven't been able to figure out momcat. My name is easy and plain! MCD is the only board/chat I've ever been on and I just signed up with "Heather in Iowa" before thinking into a name. I knew I was a "mothering" kind of mom and I would fit in here. I would have thought you'd be "musicmom" more than a "momcat." Can't wait to hear more mindful stuff from you.

Ds is getting over his cold, dh and I are not going to get sick (we hope), and it is darned cold here this week!! I hope you are all having a great week and not knee deep in snow (unless you are having fun in it).

P.S. We are on Part II and Part III in the book club. There are ten parts to the book and almost 400 pages. So if you want to join the discussion that's where we are at and we welcome new comers. The link to the book club thread is on the 1st post to this thread.
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#19 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 12:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, G-Dawg! I was typing my post and when I finally submitted it, there you were! Welcome and don't worry...we all have to start somewhere...why not here! We're glad you want to join us!
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#20 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 11:20 AM
 
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Oh, dang, I keep forgetting to get this book! I live overseas and save up all of my books for one seldom shipping from the states. I keep forgetting to put this book on my shopping list, which is ironic because it's the one I've been wanting to read the most.

In any case, I really would love the support of others on a similar path. Dh and I have been practicing zen for a few years, a lovely practice, truly changing us in subtle and wondrously ordinary ways. I am so wanting to read this book and chat with all of you because it makes much sense to me to incorporate zen practice into parenting. I just want some details on this process and some friends along the way.

Love and Blessings.
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#21 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 02:24 PM
 
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Hey. I'm here! Reading and trying to organize my thoughts enough to participate!

I'm feeling particularly unmindful lately, and that is part of my reticence... Read my long whine in the toddler forum for more info... Is there room here for a big time wannabe??
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#22 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 02:24 PM
 
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Hi, I'm Analisa, been following the book club thread.

Um, guess I'll give a short version of the stuff Heather gave as my intro...eldest of six children, non-attached-parents, difficult childhood, years of depression, therapy, recovery, blah, blah.

Met DH in college, majored in chemical engineering, married 6-1/2 years. Taught high school for four years, worked for a computer company after that, currently part-time but becoming a SAHM after we move, hurray!

Working on mindfulness all the time. It's a favorite subject of my awesome therapist, who I see for the last time today. I'm giving her Everyday Blessings for a Christmas/goodbye gift.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#23 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ramona, Tara, and Analisa~Thanks for your intros and thoughts. I'm loving our group here and it's nice to know we're not alone in this 'mindfulness' journey.

Time is always of the essence with a teething, curious, sick, lovable toddler on the loose...so for now just small talk is all I can handle! So don't be shy. If anyone has anything they want to throw out there and debate or just chit chat about after intros are done, please go ahead. We all have our own ideas about what we want to get out of this thread. And I hope you all feel free to get to know other mamas here. We have a very neat group of mindful mamas here and I'm so excited to learn more about everyone, and learn about myself too, through this 'mindful' journey of life!

and
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#24 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 03:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by ramona_quimby
Oh, dang, I keep forgetting to get this book!


Love your user ID!

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#25 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 03:26 PM
 
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Hello, Everyone -

I was pleased to discover this thread, as mindful parenting is something I've begun to seriously think about just this week. I haven't read the book, but it's on my list for my next trip to the library.

Little background: My husband Tim and I met just over two years ago, were just married in May, and welcomed our little girl Maisie on 10/19/02.

Motherhood has been a big adjustment for me, as I'm sure it is for us all. Since I was so used to having myself all to myself, I had trouble being patient when she wouldn't let me do what I wanted to do. I confess to being impatient with her and consequently not always handling her with as much gentleness as I could. This week I decided I had no right to behave that way toward her and committed to taking a step back before each interaction with her to make sure I was sending her the right messages.

She's right now asleep in my left arm as I type this with my right, and she looks so unbelievably precious.

Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself as an aspiring mindful mama.

Thanks.
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#26 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 03:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Analisa~I don't get the user name??? Is that a character I'm not familiar with (Ramona Quimby)? I wasn't sure if you were APing...glad I wasn't again. Is it you and DD that are sick now too?? If so, a move, a birthday, starting over, but SAH that will give you a chance to and . Moving is not my cup a tea. That's why I've moved over 20 times in the last ten years. :

Tara~I'm a wannabe...we're all wannabe 'mindfuls'. That's why I'm here and not watching the tape dh made of Survivor and CSI last night. Hope I didn't just but I would be a terrible mindful mama if I tried to be a tv junkie again. When I turn on the tv to watch my yoga videos I am mesmerized by whatever program is on the tv. It's like I am frozen in time. Very unmindful, ds is present during my trance too. So believe me we all have our issues and demons. Unfortunately some of us have a lot of baggage. But at least we have eachother and the will to be mindful in each moment so we don't sleep walk through life. (My faults are much more than just being a recovering tv junkie, not trying to make anyone feel guilty if they watch a few programs here and there.)

Enough of my babbling for now. Ds will be up from his nap soon. He has been asleep for a long time...thought he was awake about an hour ago.,,wrong...Thanks for your support and validations that we are all human. But we'll get there [mindful~conscious awarenes]someday, right. :
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#27 of 98 Old 12-06-2002, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Nataliekat! I was about to get off-line but I saw your post and wanted to thank you for sharing your hopes and dd w/ us. Makes me think of my little guy when he was a tiny thing and how unmindful I was too. Congrats! You are well on your way to being 'mindful'! Just realizing change is needed and letting yourself be inspired by DD means you are halfway there!
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#28 of 98 Old 12-08-2002, 10:44 AM
 
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Just a quick hey ho to get with the program. I've been participating in the book thread. I'm Angie, have an 18 month old ds named Finn and married to Chris. We're navigating the river between baby and toddler and are finding all sorts of conceptual help in the book, but it's still tough. I imagine that there's no real "getting it" with this journey just a continuing deepening.

Better run. I'll be in an out through the holidays as I've got a ruptured ear drum (from an ear infection) and a sinus infection and a very healthy and intense toddler. Waaahhh! Plus, the holidays are coming too fast. Can someone slow them down (or at least slow down DH's birthday, which is in about 14 days...)

Happy birthday to Heather and Holden!!!

Angie, Mama to Finn (6/01) and Theo (4/05)
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#29 of 98 Old 12-09-2002, 10:35 AM
 
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Heather, Ramona Quimby is a character of Beverly Cleary. It's a whole series of books for kids, the best one is "Ramona Quimby Age 8". They take place in Portland, Oregon, where I live (when I'm not in Taiwan).
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#30 of 98 Old 12-09-2002, 11:47 PM
 
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Happy Birthdays, Heather and Holden! To answer your question, my husband thinks I'm a cat. For a while, "cat" became a suffix in our house to describe me and my actions - sleepycat, hungrycat, etc. He threatened to take a videocamera and record me and the actual cat in similar poses (sleeping curled up, basking in sunny spots, etc). Anyhow, when we found out we were pg, I became momcat. So, here I am. Nothing too deep!
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