I used to be this way when I first became a parent and first started reading alot about AP. I got very judgmental and started feeling very superior to people who didn't do it my way. Then, as time went on, I started getting exposed to lots of different people who made lots of different choices and I heard their reasoning. And though I could still disagree with the choice, I started to realize that people make these choices with the best intentions in mind (for the most part). People make their choices with the knowledge they have in hand. They make these choices due to what they know from their experiences and from their own upbringing. Alot goes into parenting choices for almost everyone. It's not all this idea of scheduling c-sections for sheer vanity that we at MDC like to rail against so much. For most people, there are nuanced reasons for all of this that has alot to do with things that I am in no place to judge. I don't mean to excuse what I too deem to be damaging as "the best choice for someone's family", but given what I've seen and learned, I think most of the time it is. I'm not in a position to cast judgment - I am, after all, merely human, flawed as much as the next person, and I'm sure there are decisions in my life that other people may consider to be ahem, less-than-ideal. I've learned to just bite my tongue or share the things I know to be true in as gentle a way as possible. Realizing these things about impoverished people, ignorant of what I think is less damaging, for instance, realizing what it must take to just get by, let alone realize the benefits of ebf or cosleeping against all cultural influences, has mellowed me ALOT. I realize I am the product of my culture as much as anyone else and though I try to fight it, it's so much easier to do so when you're coming from a place of privilege the way that I am (and by privilege I mean from a middle-class white family with higher education, though my extended family is not all educated and none are wealthy and we are in fact living well below the poverty line). Anyway, I've learned to just shut up about it. When I see what other people have gone through, it's alot easier, though I certainly am still passionate about these things and do in fact think they are right, I just carry alot less judgment about it. Also struggling helps with this too. Facing death, facing challenge will wake you up to how okay everything is real quick.
anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)