I just wanted to thank you for your posts. I hadn't checked this thread for awhile and have found all of the posts tremendously helpful. I will probably print them out and save them.
I already responded to LauraN's posts but wanted to briefly respond to the others:
Freestyler--could you send your mom a registered letter? Maybe that would get the message across and she will stop calling. She sounds a bit controlling. I tried to cut off communication for awhile, just for my sanity, then felt guilty. It's hard breaking out of the people pleasing pattern--my role in the family. I sympathize with you. Also, it sounds like your mom doesn't know how to communicate about conflicts. A lot of people don't.
Siddie, creating a family of friends is exactly what I have been working on. I'm a bit shy (I post in the social outcasts thread LOL) but I do have a few close friends. And yes, I am conflicted about my family. In a strange way, I feel that my family is sicker than they used to be--I remember more good times from the past and I see more dysfunction now. Almost like they should know better because now they are mature adults with kids but keep falling into the same family dynamics. The other part of this is I think the sibs are being nice to my parents and not rocking the boat because they are afraid of getting written out of the will.
And yes, I do miss the nieces and nephews but it isn't worth having an anxiety attack when I go to family parties. There's a lot I am leaving out about my family dynamic.
L.J. I found your post helpful. And yes, it is important to be confident and strong in yourself. But how do you feel that way when 1. your mother has told you that you were an accident (my mother has told me this--I wasn't wanted) and 2. it's obvious my parents don't even like me any more because I stand up to them? and 3. I'm not sure if my parents, especially my mother ever liked me.
Mama22girls, you too come from a family where everything is "fine"? Ugh. And yes, I hear you on the being talked about behind your back. Also, not answering the phone is a godsend
Mallori, thank you for your post. I agree with you I think every family is imperfect but some are more seriously flawed than others. You're in my thoughts.
Mother2Amaya, thank you for your prayers. I do need to let go and let God.
Tapioca, I need to get to where you are. I could have written your post. I want...I guess I want my family to admit that they are wrong in some ways and to say I'm not a wackjob. It will never happen. Also, I do feel grief that they aren't the family I wish I had. I too wonder if I am crazy. After all, they are all content and I've always been labeled the "emotional, sensitive" one.
Thank you again to everyone. I wish you peace in your healing journeys. I hope you all post again on this thread; it is very helpful to hear your thoughts.