The neverending SAHM battle - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 03:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
LaLa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: LaLa@Mothering.com
Posts: 5,719
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I struggle with this all the time.

WHAT will make me happy? I pour myself into a thousand different crafts while staying at home with my wonderful dd. I don't want a 9-5 job. I don't want to leave her in the hands of some daycare. BUT something is missing and I don't know what it is?

Is it a change in my independance? Is it a need to stimulate my brain? I haven't found the answers and we struggle with it as a family.

Dd and I go to Mommy and baby groups at least 2 times a week. We go out and run errands every day. I keep very busy with Sleeping Bean and the Boards and when I find a moment free, I like to work on crafts. So, it's not that I'm bored, and it's not that I don't have anything to do.

What is it? What is this empty feeling and how do I fill it?
Also, I feel like until I figure this out, I am doing my beautiful dd an injustice because I am not there 100% for her (I am, but mentally there is this conflict).

Please, advice, words of wisdom!?
Thanks ladies.
LaLa
LaLa is offline  
#2 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 04:28 PM
 
jtsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: NH
Posts: 713
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am also a SAHM, I have never had that feeling, it always seems I am too busy to think about anything that deep. (Maybe because I don't want to figure out what I will do when I grow up?) However, it just reminded me of a conversation that I had with my mom before I had kids. It went something like this:

Me: its so nice that she is willing to sacrifice a few years of her life to raise her own kids.

Mom: I never for a moment felt like I sacrificed anything to be home with you, I loved every minute of it.

It was without a doubt the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

I guess what I am trying to say is, enjoy it while it lasts. Growing children is the most important job in the world.

jtsmom
jtsmom is offline  
#3 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 04:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
LaLa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: LaLa@Mothering.com
Posts: 5,719
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know that it is the most important job I will ever have. That doesn't change this feeling that I should/can do more?! I guess I don't know how to explain it other then that.

I wouldn't trade beign with dd for anything.
Maybe I'm just being hormornal?!
LaLa is offline  
#4 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 05:16 PM
 
jtsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: NH
Posts: 713
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
o lala, Ihope I didn't offend you i guess it was just what popped into my head. what i was getting at is enjoy this time now, worry about personal growth when little ones aren t so needy.
jtsmom is offline  
#5 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 05:18 PM
 
Pussycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: south of France
Posts: 245
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi LaLa- I was very happy to read your post! I know to some it may seem strange that I say that, but you have described my feelings exactly, and it is so nice to know I am not the only SAHM who loves her children (I have dd and ds) as any parent does, but is still not completely 100% content as I feel I am supposed to be. What is it I am looking for? I don't know, and that is probably a part of the problem! I also do not want a traditional 9-5, but I do long for something. I don't think this is much help, but for me it is nice to know I am not the only one.
Pussycat is offline  
#6 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 07:05 PM
 
Missgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: zipping around MDC
Posts: 7,592
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
LaLa,
I couldn't have said it better myself! I stayed home for 3 years with my boys. My dh's job wasn't going anywhere....very long hours and little money to show for it! We were miserable and I always felt "brain bored". I did all the things you described but something was missing. Then, after we contemplated over what to do, it was decided that I would go back to teaching and my dh would stay home! We decided that b/c I am home at 4:00 most days and i'm guaranteed weekends and lots of holiday breaks...not to mention summers. The money is the same (crappy) but we manage and the extra time we have is worth it! So I was so excited to go back to work. But now there is the flip side....missing staying home and doing all the things that i griped about. And my dh is now feeling the way i felt....now he is missing something. It's soooo hard to make it all work where everyone is complete. Now when this school year is up we might change our minds again. Our friends always laugh at us, the way we live and are always changing jobs and such. But i laugh back at them b/c we are way happier doing it our way!
Missgrl is offline  
#7 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 07:27 PM
 
Erin Pavlina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 1,854
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I struggled with this a lot too. See, I am a work at home mom and I love it. I run my own company from home and my computer and I still get to spend the majority of my time with Emily. I work maybe 7-8 hours a day but with no commute time and no time off for lunch (I just eat while I work) I work from 7am to 2pm or 3pm. That leaves the rest of the day to be with Emily.

So in the mornings I'm all business, and in the afternoons it's all about playtime, going to the park, and one on one time.

We hired a nanny/sitter who comes in and plays with Emily from 8am to 1pm, then she naps, but I'm here with them the whole time, I just shut the doors and work, but if she needs me I am there. I can always juggle my schedule.

Anyway, my point is, that there may be a possibility you're overlooking. I didn't want a 9-5 either. Think about it. There's a lot of books out there about starting a business from home, especially designed for moms with wee ones.
Erin Pavlina is offline  
#8 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 07:48 PM
 
yogamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
La La -

I sounds like you need more people contact and more stimulation or challenge. I can understand that...

I work part time (three 7 hour days) and work is totally boring to me (hectic and boring - what an awful combination). I need to figure out when to make a change and what to do, but I am finally giving myself the time to figure it out. I may stay where I am while I have small kids - it's flexible, the pay & benefits are good and I can do it with my eyes closed. I have lots of quantity and quality time with my son and still get to go out to lunch with co-workers and keep my foot in the professional world.

I deeply respect all mothers (those who stay at home and those who work outside the home). If you choose to use a childcare provider, you will choose a great caregiver for your child and you will find what works for your family.

I think it's important for us to model in our lives what we want for our children. Stimulating, meaningful work is part of that. Of course - not to the detriment of our kids, but a balace. That's the hardest thing...

You are totally impressive with your business and being a great mom to a young child. But still, I know what you mean. I would like to teach yoga more, do less of my professional job and still have lots of time for home life. We make choices and they are hard. You aren't just being hormonal - you are dealing with real issues.

I hope you understand what I mean. It sounds like you could use more stimulation/ work challenge. I know that I need that - but it may be awhile before I figure out how to fulfill that.

Blessings.
Kathleen
yogamama is offline  
#9 of 41 Old 11-21-2001, 11:39 PM
 
Julie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Port Coquitlam BC Canada
Posts: 293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Have you tried Adult human contact that is in no way child related? I find thats usually what I need so I sneek off for coffee with childless friends for an hour or two every other week. I think its the "Me, Just Me" time thats missing when I start to feel that way
Julie is offline  
#10 of 41 Old 11-22-2001, 12:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
LaLa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: LaLa@Mothering.com
Posts: 5,719
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I appreciate you all sharing your ideas and stories. Erin, I admire you for being able to work at home sucessfully!

Julie, maybe some "me" time wouldn't hurt, but the only "me" time that really sounds appealing is a trip to the spa...

Maybe for Christmas!
I can dream, can't I?
LaLa is offline  
#11 of 41 Old 11-22-2001, 05:40 AM
 
Julie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Port Coquitlam BC Canada
Posts: 293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
LOL LaLa you and I both! Ive soooo asked for a trip to a day spa for christmas...I just dont see it happening anytime soon tho...DD is Exclusivly breastfed at 6 months and wont take anything but be so I cant go anywhere with out her Not even for a massage and a facial.....Soon tho Soon....


Ohohoh I know what im going to ask for for Christmas...Use of Someone elses bathtub so I can have a bath by myself...I think I remember those.....almost as good a s a spa.....

But seriously, find some Me time, I go to scrapbook workshops, their only for a few hours once a month but its great adult time. I really enjoy going to coffee with other SAHMs who have escaped for a bit, they understand, I dont think anyone else does understand....
Julie is offline  
#12 of 41 Old 11-22-2001, 11:07 AM
 
modmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 479
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi everyone I am so glad the boards are back!!!

LALA I can relate. It has taken me four years to figure out that I want it all--just kidding--I work two evenings a week as a psychotherapist I love my work it challenges me and fulfills me. For me working and answering this challenge has made me a better mom and a happier person. Two weeks ago I flew by myself to a conference and was just me the Psychotherapist not the mommy for two days. It was great but I was also ready to come back.

When I am at home I love being at home and often I don't want to leave for work. When I get to work that feels great and I get charged.

I just accept I will always feel torn. I am lucky thatave always been able to maintain my career with just two nights a week. My children have alone time with Daddy and it works.

Be creative. Wanting more does not make you a bad MOMMY.

Good Luck
modmom is offline  
#13 of 41 Old 11-22-2001, 11:45 AM
 
Myboysmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 523
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm with Julie. I have two "childless" friends. One married, one not. I have been blown away with how important they have become in my life as my connection with the rest of the world. They love my kids and love hearing about them but my time with them helps me focus on the part of my life that was there before my boys were born and will still be present after they are grown.

But if you need a buddy to go to the spa with you LaLa, that is my ultimate dream!
Myboysmom is offline  
#14 of 41 Old 11-22-2001, 08:52 PM
 
saganaga's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Midwest
Posts: 830
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would recommend reading the book "At-Home Motherhood, Making it Work for You" by Cindy Toliver.
It might give you some ideas to reflect on.
saganaga is offline  
#15 of 41 Old 11-23-2001, 09:08 AM
 
MeMeMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Oakland Twp, MI
Posts: 23
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have felt this way too! For me it happens sporadically, but on those days, I just feel completely unmotivated and "not there" for my daughter. Then it will pass. I am hoping to find some good suggestions on this thread. Thank you for posting this.

Cindi
MeMeMama is offline  
#16 of 41 Old 11-24-2001, 03:23 PM
 
karengayle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Midwest
Posts: 32
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
LaLa - {{{hugs}}} Do you mind if I ask again how old you are? I seem to remember you're in your mid-20s - am I right?

The reason I ask is that I went through so much soul-searching at that phase in my life when I was home with my first son. I kept feeling something was missing even though I had a wonderful child, hobbies and a close relationship with God. I think it's just par for the course as your first child gets a bit older and you're wondering where you fit into the whole scheme of things.

What helped me through that period was a lot of journaling and mentoring-type relationships with older women. My best friend at that time was a woman in her 60s who helped me through some of the most confusing and difficult times in my life. It was as though I needed someone to "parent" me when I was trying so hard to parent this little boy - while my own parent was halfway across the country.

That time of life is also when most people come to terms with the relationships they have with their own parents. It can be the perfect time for examining your family of origin, what you want to do the same/differently, and for making repairs if there are severed ties.

Another thing that may help you feel better is to do some volunteer work. Maybe you and Baby could go pass out holiday cookies at a nursing home, go caroling with other couples/babies, or donate time/resources to a charity. Often reaching out to others can make us feel better about our own situations. I know...it sounds trite, but I've been there and it helped me. I hope you find what helps you.

Love, KG
karengayle is offline  
#17 of 41 Old 11-24-2001, 06:16 PM
Banned
 
UnschoolingAmerica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 150
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi there, You are not alone in your feelings. I know exactly what your talking about. After almost 2 years of feeling that way I decided to become a LLL leader and I also trained to become a Bradley teacher. I will begin teaching out of my home one night a week.
What I am trying to say is find your passion and go from there. My passion was breastfeeding and childbirth education, so I decided to help other women and couples learn what I was passionate about.
Good luck!

Dayna
UnschoolingAmerica is offline  
#18 of 41 Old 11-24-2001, 06:45 PM
 
marymary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: uk
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi, I have definitely felt this way too. Last year 2 mums from the park/nursery applied for funding from our lotteries commission board and set up a women's writers group. We hired a tutor and booked a creche in the same building and started to meet weekly for 2 hours. Eventually the children crept back in to the room, not liking the creche situation! And as the summer months came we met outside in the 1 o'clock clubs ( enclosed children's areas in parks) and managed with just 1 paid child minder whom we all knew, sometimes to 10 children(!) and ourselves keeping an eye out, running to the rescue etc. Our parenting styles were quite different some of us are homeschoolers and long term breastfeeders, others have their days mapped out and children organised in the school and nursery systems. Soma are single parents, some have grown-up children. The tutor doesn't have any children and is totally amazing in her delight and patience. The upshot of all this is that we have managed to write a play that we are going to produce next year. Our children have learned to be with us and respect our need to be doing something for ourselves. We have become close and our creative needs are being met. We have even encountered 'office politics' as our third draft draws to a conclusion. I know some of you live in quite remote places But if you already have support groups (LLL)perhaps you could add something like this, you don't have to be away from your kids, and the stimulus of adult company with a goal is marvellous, much love to you all MM
marymary is offline  
#19 of 41 Old 11-29-2001, 01:38 PM
 
youngyogamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Tacoma, WA
Posts: 36
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know what you are talking about...feeling like something is missing. What helped for me was to get involved in a cause that I believed in (AP). I became a leader for Northwest Attachment Parenting and then got on the board of directors. That has helped me a lot as far as having a purpose and a passion. I also obviously love yoga, so for me I have started taking regular classes again and that is one way I refill myself, and then can be more present for my boy. Good luck on your search!
youngyogamama is offline  
#20 of 41 Old 11-29-2001, 02:44 PM
 
tuckermama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: portland, oregon
Posts: 86
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can also relate to what you are feeling. It is like this emptiness that makes me not feel totally present with my son some days. I was crazed about buying a new house this week it was all I could think about. Now thankfully that has passed. I don't think it is totally about purpose though, because for me I am in graduate school and that is my passion. I am gong to buy that book for sure. I also liked the idea of a mentor. I had hoped to find that in my son's dr. but that hasn't worked. I think I know another friend that could help, again thank you for all the wonderful suggestions. I am happy to know that others struggle with staying at home which can be a really hard concept that you don't try to explain to working friends! Writing also helps, thanks to the boards! thanks sarah
tuckermama is offline  
#21 of 41 Old 11-29-2001, 03:30 PM
 
redsquirrel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 16
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hey LaLa,
I don't know if anyone has suggested it (I haven't had the time to read all the replies on this thread carefully, sorry) but have you thought about volunteering? I volunteer as a board member for the domestic violence agency where I used to work. I helps keep me in the loop with all my work friends and I still feel like I am making a contribution. When DS is a bit older I am planning on becoming a literacy volunteer. My friend volunteers one night a week at a "soup kitchen." She really loves it and it is helping her focus on what her career will be when she is no longer choosing to be a SAHM. Another friend does some work at the public library. I can guarantee that somewhere there is a poorly funded human service agency that will be willing to work with you to find a volunteer position that can fit into your life.
Volunteering is also a great way to try out different jobs or roles. My friend who is doing the soup kitchen thing want to get her MSW someday (to be a therapist) She wanted to do hotline work but it just doesn't work for her while her dd is tiny. She is doing this now and will do a domestic violence hotline when DD is older. That way she is getting to see if she has any interest in the work at all.
I know that you do crafts... maybe you could go into a shelter once a month and do crafts with the kids that are there. Maybe the library has a story time and would love someone to do crafts with the kids when the stories are done. My town has a nature center that is always looking for volunteers to do crafts/nature stuff with kids AND adults. One thing to add... some places have training requirements before anyone can volunteer. It can seem a bit daunting but they have to do it because of the nature of the work... usually places that deal with sensitive issues
good luck
redsquirrel is offline  
#22 of 41 Old 12-03-2001, 03:16 AM
 
lapinagile's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 13
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
LaLa, I was thinking along those same lines just yesterday. I was looking at all the dirty dishes stacked precariously on the edge of the sink thinking if they fall I shall start screaming and never stop. I'm such a zombie any more. I often wonder...is this it? Is this all it will ever be for me? I'm 38. My one and only is 22 months. I wanted her desperately and love her with all my heart and soul. I lie awake at night just listening to her breathing and sometimes I feel content with that simple act. But, I think my main problem is more of an identity crisis. There is a huge difference in how I defined myself as a person before becoming a family. I was Susan, traveler, self-reliant, tons of friends. Then I met him...the one. And suddenly my friends were gone. We moved and baby made 3. Now, I'm a sahm, no friends, no history here. I have nothing to define myself other than the pile of dirty dishes or the clothes that I can't seem to get clean. I've been reduced to titles......wife, dil, mommy (that one I like!), housekeeper, daycare provider, laundress, cook. What happened to the other me? As my dd says, "Where did she go?" Such an innocent question.
Do you think seasonal affected disorder may be creeping in a little early? Christmas usually does make me a wee bit weepy. Sorry so long.
lapinagile is offline  
#23 of 41 Old 12-03-2001, 11:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
LaLa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: LaLa@Mothering.com
Posts: 5,719
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lapingale, It is so hard when you're new to an area! I know how you feel. It has really helped me to take dd to playgroups in the city we live in. In fact, if we didn't do that, I'd probably be crying daily! LOL

She loves the interaction, and I've met a great mommy with a babe teh same age as our little bean.

LaLa is offline  
#24 of 41 Old 12-03-2001, 06:30 PM
 
ladylee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in my skin
Posts: 3,953
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lala, I have no doubt that by your posing these questions, the universe is set in motion for you and you're on your way toward the answer. I haven't "arrived" myself either, but I have learned that there's no "there" there, lol. I kind of feel that the irony of human existence is that we never really "feel" self-actualized, even though we probably are, for each particular stage in our life. I think our culture creates unrealistic expectations that make it impossible to truly find satisfaction in the daily sacred, because somehow those things aren't "glamorous" or "stimulating" enough.

I remember my grandmother waking up, eating breakfast, washing the clothes, hanging them to dry, feeding the men lunch and dinner, canning and tending the garden, and it seems like she was always satisfied with her life. I know when I have tangible completion in my life, or am certain to acknowledge that completion, I feel fulfilled.

I always am mindful of my creativity, and if I'm living each moment creatively.

I focus on the quality of my relationships, as those bring me more satisfaction than my "doings."

Interesting question, and such an important one.

~lee
ladylee is offline  
#25 of 41 Old 12-03-2001, 08:50 PM
 
modmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 479
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
there have been so many interesting replies to the origianal post.
Although I stated that part time work was the answer for me what I find most fulfilling about work is that it connects me to my passion as well as to other adults. There are many ways we can do this work being only one.

I believe that most of us "Mothering" types find much fulfillment in our children and our desire to nurture other parts of our lives should not be seen as something that takes us away from that most important part of our lives.

There have been so many good suggestions here. It is just good to hear other women speak honestly about mothering and the difficult times.
modmom is offline  
#26 of 41 Old 12-04-2001, 02:03 AM
 
mama joy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
Posts: 120
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
LaLa,
I could have written your post. I adore my ds and love being with him, yet something is missing. I'm not willing to work full time, yet there are not many part time positions in my field. I dream often of becoming a doula and a childbirth instructor. I guess what is stopping me is that there is little financial pay off but the training is expensive upfront.
Sorry, I'm no help to you, but I understand what you are going through. Keep searching.
mama joy is offline  
#27 of 41 Old 12-06-2001, 10:38 PM
 
madison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi LaLa,

Hey how about taking one class at a community college that might appeal to you, for some adult interaction and some mental gymnastics?

M
madison is offline  
#28 of 41 Old 12-20-2001, 01:45 AM
 
snugglemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ohio
Posts: 200
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
One way I found to get "me" time is joining a book club. This gaurantees me out of the house alone at least once a month, a chance to talk to non-mom friends and forces me to read something other than parenting books and magazines!
snugglemama is offline  
#29 of 41 Old 12-25-2001, 01:56 AM
 
zalesz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: columbus ohio
Posts: 4
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
damn, i so think that is the hardest part of stayin home with the babe. what am i? and i do activism, volunteering, ceramics, other stuff to some degree or other...but i miss something that is a deep ache...for adventure or passion (not romance) or truth or perhaps connection.

being a stay at home mama is a lonely and unvalued place and it's sometimes hard to bring spirit and vigor to it's routineness and quietness. if we lived in a society that valued wimmin and children, where we could bring our babes anywhere and participate in a wide range of activities perhaps it would be different. sometimes i am too tired to forge a way to make that happen even for myself.

i don't feel like i want to get away from my small one, but i want us to be able to do so much more than our culture allows, it makes it hard to stretch and grow. and it makes me feel sad and limited.

sara
zalesz is offline  
#30 of 41 Old 01-09-2002, 05:24 AM
 
Luma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,099
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Lala, this is funny, never visited this forum before, came today and found exactly my feeling... I have been all this time without really wanting to do anything else than being in adoration, exploration, investigation, comunication, with my boy,( who by the way turns 2 years tomorrow! )and now I feel the need to share a creative process with adults, I like painting and do it here at home but my real love is pottery and to do that, I need to find me a workshop close by ( used to go to one that is 1 hour away!) and leave ds for at least 2 hours, and would only feel confortable leaving him with dh when he is here on the weekends and he says is ok but .. I also love so much the weekends with my guys! So ... what! Theres some guilt about accepting that I have other intereses than my ds and I'll feel guilty of leaving him to persue my ME part but Its better to give it a try, guilt and all.
Feels weird though! I thought I wasnt going to have ME urges for at least.....15 years?
Luma is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off