Oh Amris, hugs to you Mama
As I have made a relationship with my bio mother, I am getting a much deeper understanding of how much she wanted me, and didn't want to let me go. She didn't have the means, both physically and emotionally, to go against the flow and make a plan to keep me, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want me.
It makes me so sad to hear words over and over suggesting that the birth moms don't love, care for, or want their babies as much as they would if they weren't relinquishing their babes
GranolaMama, I am sorry your birth Mother is not open to contact, and that she is unwilling to share more information with you. It sounds to me like she is a product of another time, where social pressures were very intense, and there was a strong culture of shame. I hope she has time to reflect and maybe change her mind. If that is something you seek
It is a horrible thing to not know about your own self. To know that the information is there but not accessable by you. I often wonder what it must be like for adoptees who come from places where there is no hope of finding out information. Like for some of the kids my DD plays with who come from China. What will happen when they want to seek and find out? I wonder if it would be harder or easier?
Do we have any adult adoptees who were adopted internationally? I am interested to hear how they feel about this issue. I wonder how it will impact the next generation of adoptees, many of whom come from faraway places.
Emilie, and others, I appreciate your efforts in dialogues with others. The topic is too painful for me to enter and form cohesive thoughts, but thanks for your input.
Take care, ND