LOA: Help me reframe this? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 01-05-2007, 10:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, I'm feeling pretty discouraged right now.

It's the end of th week, and it's been a long one. I am tired and my back hurts. (I have a two-year-old and a very heavy 2 month old who just graduated to 6-9 month clothing : ) My shoulder is wet from spitup, as usual. I know I'm feeling pretty negative right now.

I was doing really well, until my hubby called. Months ago, (last summer) he had promised that we would get me more clothes in the fall. When the fall came, there was little money for clothes so he promised me more money in January. Well now it's January and there's no money for clothes. It's not like it's anybody's fault, I mean, neither of us have been irresponsible or anything, there's just less money than we thought there would be.

I have issues with clothes. In high school I desperately wanted to have pretty clothes like most of the other girls did, and I felt so embarrassed in my few things. I've definitely carried those issues with me. The couple of years that I was an adult before starting a family and going to one income I actually had some nice clothes, but now I am not that size anymore and I have never had a nice wardrobe since then. This really bothers me. It seems like I have spent the last few years waiting for this.

I know I have issues with spending so much money on clothes when I am a SAHM. I feel it's selfish or something to spend money on clothes. I am mind-boggled at how expensive quality clothes are, yet if I buy the cheaper stuff, it just falls apart after a season and I have to buy again.

Right now I have only two good shirts, and they have actually shrunk some in the wash, so they are tighter than I feel comfortable with. I have a few other shirts that are actually maternity shirts and really hard to nurse in. I mostly just wear my two "good" shirts. Then I have two sweaters, and three pairs of pants. I had one skirt for dressing up in, that was too tight and I broke the zipper. (Even I have to admit that's kind of funny!) But except for underwear, that is my entire wardrobe. How can I feel grateful for what I have so that I can get out of this rut? Right now I am kind of stuck feeling very sorry for myself and I am only getting more of the same . . .

I want more clothing so bad it hurts!!!! And on one hand I feel like I have earned it, and on the other hand-- I guess I feel I haven't? Granted, I've only been practicing this LOA stuff conciously for a week . . . how do I bring myself into alignment with my desires?

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#2 of 23 Old 01-05-2007, 10:13 PM
 
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question: what size are you?

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#3 of 23 Old 01-05-2007, 10:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am a size large for shirts, and roughly a 6 or so for pants, though it depends of course.

I am going to put the babies to bed, I'll be back online later this evening.

It made me feel special that I got a response right away, thank you.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#4 of 23 Old 01-05-2007, 11:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, I'm back and feeling less whiny.

I know the answer is that I need to feel less "wanting". I need to trust that my source will provide what I need if I align myself with gratitude.

But that's the hard part; feeling gratitude in the moment.

I wonder if it would work if I just try not to think about the clothing and just focus on what I do feel grateful for? I don't know, it's late and my mind will be clearer tomorrow-- but I'll keep thinking about this.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#5 of 23 Old 01-05-2007, 11:19 PM
 
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Sending clothes vibes your way. It sounds like you have spent a long time wanting clothes. Keep up the good work one LOA. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Mama to two beautiful children. 

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#6 of 23 Old 01-05-2007, 11:48 PM
 
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This may or may not be related to your issue...

I was listening to "The Secret" audio CD in my car on the way to IKEA yesterday (and today when I had to go back). Rhonda was saying that she would go into stores, or look through catalogs, and say "I can afford that."
So I tried to remember to do that while I was at IKEA.

Maybe you can go "shopping" (or look through catalogs or online) and instead of thinking how you can't afford new clothes, just say, "I can afford that."
(In my mind sometimes I'd put a "but I'm not going to buy it now" after it or say "I can afford that but I don't want it" )
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#7 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 12:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hula View Post
This may or may not be related to your issue...

I was listening to "The Secret" audio CD in my car on the way to IKEA yesterday (and today when I had to go back). Rhonda was saying that she would go into stores, or look through catalogs, and say "I can afford that."
So I tried to remember to do that while I was at IKEA.

Maybe you can go "shopping" (or look through catalogs or online) and instead of thinking how you can't afford new clothes, just say, "I can afford that."
(In my mind sometimes I'd put a "but I'm not going to buy it now" after it or say "I can afford that but I don't want it" )
yep. that was what I was thinking.

please post a link to an item that would rock your world.

I was also thinking how you might want to check...

here:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...play.php?f=280

and I would recommend the great Ebay.

I think you need to give us an idea what you want to manifest... like I said on a thread in Sprituality... if we put it out there and ask that is great. but if we don't up our receptivity..then it doesn't happen. I would encourage you to broaden your ways of receiving.

frankly, if I had not gotten rid of a bunch of my shirts this summer i would send you one....

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#8 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 01:10 AM
 
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Well, I don't know anything about LOA, but I would get more involved in tracking my expenses, do a few of our no spend or pantry challenges in frugality & finances to save enough money to get the clothes you want. Or declutter and sell the stuff on ebay and use that to pay for the clothes.

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
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#9 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 01:22 AM
 
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I have a few gorgeous organic cotton nursing dresses that I don't wear...PM and we can make arrangements to find them a new home

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#10 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 01:25 AM
 
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Your whole post sounds like what I've been going through too lol. Only here's the worst part. I DID get dh to give me a bunch of money for new clothes, and once I washed them a few times they now look like shit and don't fit well anymore.
I'm really upset.
I guess I needed to buy more expensive clothing? I got a lot of my stuff at Target and Old Navy. I was able to buy a lot, but like I said, it's now gross.
I keep thinking that I'm only fat because I just had Ezra, but he's 9 months now. I used to buy clothes in the juniors section at Dillards and I'd just look for stuff on sale. I still have those clothes and they are my favorite. The other day I decided to go look for some bargins there and apparently they don't have my size in juniors. (I'm a 16 now : ) The woman's clothing is hiddeous. I wanted a long jeans skirt and a cute shirt to go with it. Who the hell wears a size 7 though? So I'm too fat for Dillards.....and too broke to get new clothes again.
oh.......back to you. I'm going to just try and buy one or two things at a time. It can get you on the road to wardrobe recovery and make you feel a lot better than being in sweatpants. And I just re-read your post....so I take back what I said about "who the hell wears a size 7 lol."
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#11 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 07:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The reason I am up at 5am is needing to pump due to my oversupply of milk-- I truly am blessed.

Okay . . . to Marlee-- thank you! I am going to have a great day today! DH and I will declutter our storage-room today, and that's bound to help everything too!

hula, I LOVE the idea of saying "I CAN afford that"!! It sounds so bold, it's like taking my power back; I love it! I'm going ot start doing that post-haste.

Tracy, those are good ideas. I guess after "asking" for something I was being kind of limited in the "how" and "where" I might recieve it.
And about the shirts you don't have anymore but would have sent-- your thoughts are so sweet and that's what makes me feel great. : I am going to put some items that would absolutely "rock my world to have" at the end of this post.

mightymoo-- selling some of that stuff we are going to declutter today is a good idea. I usually just donate everything because I want to be able to give something back, yk? But I guess there's nothing wrong with selling some of it too.

Georgia-- I would LOVE an organic cotton nursing dress! Wow! I will PM you . . .

Jill-- I was going to say, "hey wait a minute I'm a size seven (or so)!" I just have a slim build and I'm petite, that's all; a size 7, for me, is two extra pant sizes worth of beautiful mommy-chub.

I know what you mean about Target and Old Navy. Esp. with Old Navy; a lot of the clothing I get there falls apart quickly. Yet, that said, two of my pairs of pants right now are from ON and the other is from Target, and I am grateful that I have them.

My clothing "love" list:

*Maggie's organic cotton tights or socks

*long skirts like they have at Eddie Bauer (example) or from other places (at Eddie Bauer I'm an 8 petite)

*Boob nursing shirts such as they sell here

I am going to go check out ebay and the MDC trading post. Thank you everybody! I really love you guys!

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#12 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 07:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oops, with Boob nursing shirts I would be an X-large.

I was window-shopping just now and saying, "I CAN afford that!"

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#13 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 10:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Tracy, thanks for showing me the RAOK forum. I had no idea it existed and I'm still figuring it out but I am thinking I might be able to do a swap or something with someone through that. Thanks!

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#14 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 01:02 PM
 
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okay... i took your skirt and went to ebay.

i found this which is currently around $6

http://cgi.ebay.com/Womens-A-Line-Lo...QQcmdZViewItem


not a bad price... go 'shop' at your favorite stores than check out ebay, just for sport....

I wonder how much you could buy for $20? and yes, right here at mdc could be the best spot to shop!!!

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#15 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 01:26 PM
 
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I'm going to go to the PO with your lovely little black dress either today or Monday Don't thank me---thank Tracy for being the one who told me I should watch The Secret

I'm pretty tall, so a lot of my skirts won't work, otherwise, I'd have sent you some of those, too ITA---the Trading Post rocks

Many continued blessings in the New Year----it's going to be a great one

I have retired from administration work, so if you have a question about anything MDC-related, please contact Cynthia Mosher. Thanks!
 
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#16 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 01:33 PM
 
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To reframe...while all these new clothes are on their way to you.

"I love my new clothes!"
"I look darn fine in my new clothes"
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#17 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 02:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot View Post
To reframe...while all these new clothes are on their way to you.

"I love my new clothes!"
"I look darn fine in my new clothes"


Check out New Moon on my Astrology Site

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#18 of 23 Old 01-06-2007, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the tip about the skirt on ebay Tracy! And thanks to everyone. I'm feeling so much more positive now. Sigh. Thanks.

BTW, we found a lot in the storage room that we can donate, swap, or sell, so that's exciting too.

Love you guys.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#19 of 23 Old 01-07-2007, 08:31 AM
 
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So, mommy, tell me something?

What's RIGHT with you today? What's WORKING for you today?
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#20 of 23 Old 01-07-2007, 03:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well the heater just started working again

It was on the blink yesterday, which was fine, because yesterday was so unusually warm! Coincidence? I think not . . .

Today I am enjoying creating my vision statement video (thank you Amris) which is coincidentally helping me stay focused on my positives.

I am enjoying having my husband home today.


♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#21 of 23 Old 01-08-2007, 09:09 PM
 
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subbing

Newly single, chronically sleep deprived mama to my little wild thang wild.gif, born 11/17/12 

fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#22 of 23 Old 01-10-2007, 03:10 AM
 
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LionTigerBear,

OT, but you are ADORABLE! I'm sure that you would shine in a burlap sack!
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#23 of 23 Old 01-10-2007, 08:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Awww, that's so sweet. Thank you.

Everything is going so well now. Thank you so much to everyone. I am so filled with gratitude.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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