Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Controlled chaos...
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I once was up late at night when I was pregnant...and I watched a show on death and how it affected children. Based on the stage in life you were in, it affected your life long term quite differently. I was 7 when my sister died, and as a result of her death I was made more empathic and sensitive to family feelings, I also have very strong interpersonal and relationship skills. I express love freely and have perspective. Though, for a REALLY long time I caught myself emulating my sister's personality...that was the wacky thing. i played the same instument she did, I also aimed for a career in teaching. Though I was incredibly gifted academically, and entered college at 16 I still aimed for a teaching degree. Though, in reality I felt like my mom and parents had directed me that way. I think I cared TOO MUCH about what my parents feelings were with regards to me...probably psychologically because I never wanted them to go through deep pain again.
I had *hints* of the woman I was to become early on though...that is the amazing thing. So, I did eventually make it through it.
One thing too...when my father passed on (we were VERY close) I grieved deeply and sorrowfully for several months. But, then I was able to pass through the stages of grief very quickly in comparison to my remaining siblings. I transitioned into a spiritual relationship with my Dad quicker than the others in my family...and I think part of it was that I had such a deep spiritual relationship with my sister who passed already.
My father passed on at 25. My SIL (my brother's wife) and MIL lost their fathers during their teenage years. As a result they seem to have really have a lot of security issues. SIL surrounds herself with a lot of material posessions and seems to overly care that she is in the right "circle of friends" and communicates with the "right people"...a keeping up with the jones' sort of thing. MIL is also very into keeping things a "certain way"...very in control of her environment and freaks out if anything she doesn't expect happens.
Just some things I've noticed.
Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!