how has parenthood changed you? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 02-12-2002, 01:29 PM - Thread Starter
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For the better or for the worse or some of both...

I realized the other day that I've lost my wanderlust, at least for right now. I used to carry this urge to move, to not settle down, and a latent dissatisfaction with the area I live in. And I just feel mellower all over, happier in general. People have said that motherhood becomes me - which is funny since I think my body has changed for the worse - I get less exercise and sleep. But in pictures of me I can see it - I look happier, maybe in love! But I do feel much more centered and more confident, I care less what other people say or think. I guess I just feel so lucky so amazed so in awe of this little girl!
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#2 of 11 Old 02-12-2002, 02:36 PM
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For the better, I am waaaay more mellow and peaceful than I used to be. I'm not sure how much that says because I was typically very high strung. Actually it's having 2 children that has done it. I noticed that after my first (I was 18) I was so busy between work, school and being a Mom that I took very little time to smell the roses, so to say. I feel like I missed so much about DD. I wish I had more of a chance to cherish her babyhood. I miss it so.
With DS I am a SAHM and I love it. I love our laid back life style. I love going to Playgroups and Mommy meetings. I love being around other babies. I have the time to watch my baby grow and it never ceases to amaze me how fascinating doing that is.
I am also way more low maintenence (sp) I used to be very into my looks. Makeup, clothes, nails, high maintence (sp) hair, etc. Now I can be ready in 15 minutes. (Getting Jacob ready is another story)
I used to be able to pay 100 or more for one item of clothing wothout batting an eye. Now I think that's crazy. I can't beleive how much I have wasted in my life. Time, money, energy.
Wow, I can go on and on because I really have become a whole other person. Parenthood is awesome for putting things in perspective.

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#3 of 11 Old 02-12-2002, 04:17 PM
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I don't think my temperment has changed drastically - I have always been pretty laid back and like to take my time, enjoy and really *look* at things (it's the artist in me, I guess). Examining rocks on the side of the road isn't such a new experience for me.

BUT, if there is one thing that has changed significantly, it's that I have become more vocal about my views and more passionate about my ideals. Much more, "out of my own head" and more confident in sharing myself. In comparison, I think I like me even more now...

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#4 of 11 Old 02-18-2002, 11:27 PM
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I don't think it's changed me that much--my journey has been to do the changing first, and then I was ready for her. Before I could have her I had to become more forgiving and less rigid. When I finally did that, I think I was given the gift of her.

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#5 of 11 Old 02-27-2002, 02:02 PM
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Although I have always been a feminist and still consider myself one, for myself, getting on equal footing with men in this world just doesn't seem so important. All that getting ahead and having power and making money comes from a male dominated culture. And even though this culture doesn't value giving birth and nurturing children, I KNOW that that is the most powerful thing in this life.
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#6 of 11 Old 03-08-2002, 10:07 PM
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It has forced me to get more organized and do more "housekeeping". I'm more compassionate about women and family issues. I'm more concerned about planning for the future.
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#7 of 11 Old 03-10-2002, 05:28 PM
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I like myself more--I hadn't realized that I contained so much patience and strength.

I love that I am very good, becoming a full-time expert, in fact, at the most meaningful thing: giving love!

After years of self-depreciating, and being insecure, almost like that's what I thought people expected from me (still trying to convince my high school girl friends that I'm not "stuck up" by acting the opposite)---I now have this huge motivation to give my dd an example of a proud, empowered woman who knows how much she's worth! So i'm more confident now. More proud of who I am. I think my natural childbirth, and AP parenting, and just being connected with my glorious incredible dd, are big sources of this pride. I walk around town nursing her in her sling and feel like an absolute reigning goddess queen--this is a new feeling for me! Or at least I haven't felt it since I was six or so!

And after several years hiatus, I'm feeling pulled to be more politically/socially active. I think about the world I want for her, and my apathy evaporates. It matters again, because I love.
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#8 of 11 Old 03-10-2002, 08:48 PM
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Motherhood has changed me on a revolutionary level! I was always a progressive, strong minded woman but becoming a mother has turned me into an active feminist. I have never felt more strongly about the respect women so desperately need and deserve in order to be able to the *best* job they can do as mothers. I am not saying that all women should become mothers and respect those who don't by all means. For those of us who have made this choice and for all of our sisters around the world I feel the world has a lot of work to do! There is so much education to be dispersed. There is so much more we deserve as mothers that we aren't getting. And the bottom line is the children. They are the future! They will be the ones who inherit our earth and pass it along to their children! They deserve the *best* possible parenting available and our world is no where even close to this. Not by a long shot!! So I feel its my job as a conscious woman who is a mother to one; raise my child in the best way possible; and two, spread the word in any way I can about women, mothers, children and families. I feel it is a part of my job as mother. I am a totally different person than I was less than a year ago!
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#9 of 11 Old 03-18-2002, 10:56 AM
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I used to feel sorry for myself because I lacked material things, and did not have a great career, or lots of friends etc.

Now I know I am blessed because my child will grow up in a safe, health environment - or that he has every chance to grow up anyway, Gods be willing.

At the same time, I am painfully aware of this privilege, and feel honour bound to do something with my life that will benefit other women and children who are not as fortunate as my son and I.
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#10 of 11 Old 03-19-2002, 09:36 PM
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I was still fairly young, fresh out of college, when I had Micah, and I think childbirth/motherhood gave me the confidence to enter the adult woman world emotionally. I used to call anyone over 25 "m'am" and defer to older women as if I were a little girl, but now I feel like a peer to every woman. So I'm more outspoken and bold.

Motherhood also got me on the ball spiriutally. I realized I wasn't going to be able to leave a spiritual legacy for my kids if I didn't take the time to cultivate my own spiritual garden, so to speak.

And it made me more involved politically. I weigh every issue in terms of how it's going to affect the culture my baby grows up in.
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#11 of 11 Old 03-20-2002, 12:07 AM
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I have become much wiser, happier, more patient (that was a hard one), content. I am so grateful for the place I am now.
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