Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In WORRY and WONDER
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So, I finally had a COMPLETE MENTAL BREAKDOWN on Sunday. It was scary, the only thing/person that kept me going was my DD. I was so scared/angry/nervous and confused. I had a migrane from HELL and didnt know what to do to make all the pain go away.
I was able to see a Therapist on Monday afternoon and I felt so much better. He thinks it is time to really treat me, as talking isnt helping. So I am starting on DEPRESSION drugs, since after all he is right I am completely DEPRESSED in general about me, my past and my future. I am not a person who can deal with today or tomorrow, I let what COULD happen in the future with ppl and things beat me down.
I finally got to a point Sunday where I realized the things that my mom let happen to me as a child REALLY were HER and HIS fault and not mine, I didnt ask to me touched by my step-dad and I didnt asked to me abused. For years there was always a piece of me that thought it wasnt my fault but no on will truly admit to it and after all SHE gave me up and is still married to this man, so.....I wish she would admit it and help me but I guess I need to not worry about her but worry about me and try to find some peace in something otherwise I will never survive ALL of this.
So, if you made it this far, there is far more to it but thanks....I guess I needed to write this some where.