i had a swearing fit in front of my kids - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-10-2007, 12:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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whenever my period is coming I feel incredibly cranky, and almost unbondable, for about a day or 2 before it starts... Well today dp was making me angry and I used angry swear words while yelling at him once or twice today, i feel really ashamed because we try hard not to raise our voices, and i am usually a calm person who is great at keeping my temper with the kids but I have a hard time sometimes with saying swears under my breath, my kids are 18 months and 34 months. And have heard my oldest mutter a swear under her breath once, but I explained to her about words we shouldn't use and she never said it again..... but me on the otherhand can't seem to stop muttering an exasperated "ah f%$&" any quit swearing tips???
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:14 AM
 
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Im guilty of that also. . my teens teach me new words now.. . but the baby we try not swear in front of her but with three teens i swear one of her first words with be F***......or Dam:
im still bf baby so i havent even got it yet.... but anyhow dont feel bad.. hopefully they wont pick up on it.. try to replace them with counting to ten.........
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:29 PM
 
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I'd suggest creating a consequence for yourself. Perhaps put a rubberband on your wrist and flick it every time you swear even under your breath? Some sort of reprograming of your brains sounds in order, unless this is really an anger issue, then you may have to address the anger.

Do you feel irritated often? I've found out that this is really repressed anger. I had no idea! If I can say outloud what it is I'm angry about when I feel irritated it helps. I found that I'd get tense every time my H would try to touch me. My whole body would tense up. When the kids were little, I think it started because he seemed to touch me when he wanted sex, and I resented the demands on my body because I was so tired. However, it kept up through most of our marriage, and then I had to figure out why. It turned out that it was repressed anger. I had to learn to figure out what I was angry about when I felt this way. It has helped SO much!

I also struggled with PMS. I once had a MALE therapist tell me that I should not repress or try to medicate away those feelings during PMS. He said that was what was within me all month long, I just didn't have the capability to deal with it during the hormone imbalance before my period. He suggested that I actually use that time to deal with the issues because they were so near the surface at that time. It was good advice. Even though I'm in perimenopause, my PMS is actually better than it used to be emotionally.

Good luck!!
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Old 05-10-2007, 03:12 PM
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Swearing is something that is an all or nothing thing.

If you are trying not to swear around your kids, then you HAVE to cut swearing out entirely. You can't just watch your swearing when the kids are around and then when they aren't, let loose. Why? Because the way you speak is linked to your emotions, which means that whenever your emotions are heightened, you are going to revert to the most common words you use.

So you either have to cut swearing out entirely (or really really limit how much you do it) or you are going to continue to do this.
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Old 05-10-2007, 11:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't feel irritated often, but swearing is almost like a natural reaction to me when I drop something or notice a ton of dirty dishes, I'll sigh and say "ah s*&t or ah f&^%" under my breath. I grew up in a home where my parents swore throughout there sentences, and when i became a teenager and did the same my parents didn't care... to me they were just words, and even though I'm grown up, I can't seem to grow out of the words, I tried today and I think i did better, I did say a few words not at anybody though, I've never swore at my kids and never will, I never even raise my voice, but have slipped a few times with dp, mostly in private... maybe I will try the rubber band trick though!
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