Hi ! My first post. I've been reading how supportive and kind everyone is for a while now and am now looking for some help/support
Had a bad day at work. To summarize, a couple weeks ago my boss asked me if I wanted to continue working at the job. He knew that I had been called by another company. I told him that I planned on keeping my job, but that I would listen to other opportunities if they made more sense for my familylife/son. I was pretty open and honest about the situation. And from the begining have told them my first priority was my son.
he seemed totally receptive and open to the conversation and seemed to understand and been supportive Even talked about how he and his wife had gone through the same thing
i then mentioned the conversation a few days later to my direct boss and told her that I wanted to stay.
yesterday my direct boss wanted to touch base with me about where I was at regarding next year and I told her that I definitely wanted to stay.
Today 1st boss called me into his office to say he had got a message from direct boss that I wanted to stay and thought we ought to talk about it. Basically he said my work was good but that he didn't like me. Said we had different styles of interacting and that I was difficult to work with. (we interact for no more than 3 seconds a day) and he is not sure whether he wants to have me there next year. Also said that he thinks that this is something that we can work out between us. And that we should give it some time
the only things I see myself as having done "wrong" are that when there is a safety issue, i speak up, I'm not crazy about it but I do say something, and I think maybe he feels betrayed that I would even speak to someone else about job opportunities?? ?
thus far, the staff I work with have all loved me, my work has been good, and despite making sure I almost always leave on time for my son my productivity is higher than the other part timers and my work more complete
So I'm feeling really bad tonight on multiple levels because of this. Intellectually I know that this is because my son comes first and it is hard for them when their careers come first to see someone who has made different choices
But that understanding is not enough-- I want to be in an environment where I am appreciated at work, I also am concerned that because it is such a small group of people that my reputation will be affected based on his personal feelings about me and not based on my work.
at an even deeper level I am struggling with why doesn't he like me- what is wrong with me, am I that awful a person, why do i fail at relationships.
I've been moping around all night, which is concerning me as well. I don't want to bring my work problems home with me, it will affect my son and husband and my happiness at home.
I need to work another year until my husband finishes school, I don't want to go through the hassle of finding another job for 1 year when I know next spring I will want to "retire" to be with my son
what do i do??????
thanks for reading such a long post