bad day at work - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 02-22-2002, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi ! My first post. I've been reading how supportive and kind everyone is for a while now and am now looking for some help/support
Had a bad day at work. To summarize, a couple weeks ago my boss asked me if I wanted to continue working at the job. He knew that I had been called by another company. I told him that I planned on keeping my job, but that I would listen to other opportunities if they made more sense for my familylife/son. I was pretty open and honest about the situation. And from the begining have told them my first priority was my son.

he seemed totally receptive and open to the conversation and seemed to understand and been supportive Even talked about how he and his wife had gone through the same thing

i then mentioned the conversation a few days later to my direct boss and told her that I wanted to stay.

yesterday my direct boss wanted to touch base with me about where I was at regarding next year and I told her that I definitely wanted to stay.

Today 1st boss called me into his office to say he had got a message from direct boss that I wanted to stay and thought we ought to talk about it. Basically he said my work was good but that he didn't like me. Said we had different styles of interacting and that I was difficult to work with. (we interact for no more than 3 seconds a day) and he is not sure whether he wants to have me there next year. Also said that he thinks that this is something that we can work out between us. And that we should give it some time

the only things I see myself as having done "wrong" are that when there is a safety issue, i speak up, I'm not crazy about it but I do say something, and I think maybe he feels betrayed that I would even speak to someone else about job opportunities?? ?

thus far, the staff I work with have all loved me, my work has been good, and despite making sure I almost always leave on time for my son my productivity is higher than the other part timers and my work more complete

So I'm feeling really bad tonight on multiple levels because of this. Intellectually I know that this is because my son comes first and it is hard for them when their careers come first to see someone who has made different choices

But that understanding is not enough-- I want to be in an environment where I am appreciated at work, I also am concerned that because it is such a small group of people that my reputation will be affected based on his personal feelings about me and not based on my work.

at an even deeper level I am struggling with why doesn't he like me- what is wrong with me, am I that awful a person, why do i fail at relationships.

I've been moping around all night, which is concerning me as well. I don't want to bring my work problems home with me, it will affect my son and husband and my happiness at home.

I need to work another year until my husband finishes school, I don't want to go through the hassle of finding another job for 1 year when I know next spring I will want to "retire" to be with my son

what do i do??????

thanks for reading such a long post
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#2 of 8 Old 02-22-2002, 09:13 PM
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Hey momto1! I hear you, girlfriend. I just came through a rough week at work myself, I was convinced they were trying to get rid of me. As it is, they may still be. They havn't renewed my contract yet (up next month). They've been treating me like crap, but things went better these last few days. I was so glad I had tried to not stir things up any more than they already were, because it turned out rather well. Long story.

Anyway, hang in there and don't try to second guess your boss. I would just think over your options, brainstorm the what ifs of every possible scenario, and then just wait and see what happens. Sometimes things just blow over in a few days and are forgotten. You're in a win/win situation, either you get to stay with the job, or you get to stay home with your little angel!

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#3 of 8 Old 02-22-2002, 10:00 PM
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I've been struggling this week at work too, but momto1, you've humbled me.

Hey, at least the weeks over and he and you have the weekend to let this pass.

Hang in there.
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#4 of 8 Old 02-22-2002, 11:21 PM - Thread Starter
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thanks guys, makes me feel better just knowing I am not the only one in these shoes
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#5 of 8 Old 02-25-2002, 01:57 PM
i'm short on time so i cant address it all but i will say....

get and keep copies of any reviews you have had - 'just in case'

if there's something you're not doing right then in theory it shoudl be covered in a review.

you cant get a glowing review one month and then doing the job wrong another month if you havent changed your performance

'hard to work with' is rather vague - maybe its a fair question to ask for an example. the hard part of that is to listen to the example without defending yourself. what you're really trying to do is understand the perception/thought process/expectation.
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#6 of 8 Old 02-25-2002, 08:09 PM
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thanks terri, really good advice, We haven't ever had reviews at my job, so I am kinda in the lurch there, and he had said it had nothing to do with my work it was me. He felt I was "hostile" when i asked for an example.
I think that it has to do with misinterpretation, when i am at work, i am totally focused on getting the job done, and am super busy. I definitely don't spend alot of time chit chatting about how peoples weekends were that I don't see in meetings. I think that might be what he is interpreting as hostile.

I also think what might be going on is changing the position from 1/2 to 3/4 time and they know I wouldn't do that and probably want me out
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#7 of 8 Old 02-27-2002, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
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The above post that says zac'smom was by me. I'm still getting the hang of the site and did not realize when I was using amanda's computer that I had to log off first. sorry
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#8 of 8 Old 03-01-2002, 03:26 PM
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Gosh, I thought I was the only working mom out there who frequented these boards. . . Glad to know your out there too.

What your boss said about not liking you was *&%$#%!!! Some people have no skills. . .

Stuff happens at my job from time to time. I've found that time usually takes care of it. I started working at my job almost 3 years ago after being a SAHM. I quickly developed the thick skin required to maintain. . .

Also knowing that my job is just a job and that I have family and friends who love and support me also helps. (I have a good friend who has a generic vodoo doll and we've had a few laughs with that one).

You will decide what is best for you. I have found that when one door closes (or starts to close) another usually opens.

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