Feeling resentful - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 68 Old 01-30-2008, 01:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by teachma View Post
Oh, it won't be a problem to switch it off. As soon as I'm in the car, on the way to the airport, that's precisely what I intend to do. If you asked either of my children, they'd tell you I'm just as psyched for this trip as they are. I have done a great job talking it up to them, at least partially in attempt to get myself to see the positive angle. I am very easily able to separate my annoyance and frustration about this trip from the rest of my life...even my friends at work (for the most part) think I'm really looking forward to it. I guess that because I have the negative feelings inside me but have not chosen to express them outwardly, they're just building up...and this thread been a good outlet for me. Certainly there were times during the wedding planning period when I've expressed some of these feelings (mostly to my mom), but it's usually been when someone has explicitly asked my opinion. No, there's no possibility of my ruining these three days for anyone except maybe myself.
You will probably have a good time despite yourself. I cried in the parking lot of Walmart a day before we had to travel to my brother's wedding in PA (see above post), wanting to just blow it off. But in the end, let everything go and we enjoyed ourselves anyway.

Mama of 3 girls: 7.5 , 6 , and 4.5
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#62 of 68 Old 01-30-2008, 07:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by kmcmommyto3 View Post
You will probably have a good time despite yourself. I cried in the parking lot of Walmart a day before we had to travel to my brother's wedding in PA (see above post), wanting to just blow it off. But in the end, let everything go and we enjoyed ourselves anyway.
Thanks for the kind words and understanding. I've cried over this a few times, too...like when the passport office was open only ONE weekend hour per week, and I couldn't take off from work during the week to get passports...but I'm hoping all that will be behind me at 8:30 tomorrow when we get picked up for the airport (even the car service is being paid for ). I will check in on Monday to let you all know how it went.
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#63 of 68 Old 01-30-2008, 08:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by teachma View Post
. No, there's no possibility of my ruining these three days for anyone except maybe myself.
And you won't ruin it because I am personally sending good vibes your way!
Enjoy yourself!!!! ::

Laura - Mom to ds (10) and dd (7) "Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life." Brian Andreas.

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#64 of 68 Old 01-30-2008, 09:18 PM
 
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I didnt read all of the responses so take mine with a grain of salt if its already been said.

1. That sounds like a wonderful trip (though its short - not enough time to catch your breath). I would try to get in as much enjoyment and R & R as I can! Even if it means (gaps!) skipping an event or two.

2. I would NEVER expect all of my friends and family (even some of the) to travel to see me get married even if we paid for all expenses. Folks have lives and may not want to spend their vacation time that way. I would rather have a local event where most people can comfortably attend rather than a big wedding at a far away place – but that’s me.
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#65 of 68 Old 01-30-2008, 09:20 PM
 
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I wouldn't have felt the need to buy hundreds and hundreds of dollars of new clothes that I would never wear again though. In fact, I'm not even sure what kind of clothes you mean.
I can see having to buy clothes. I live in cashmere sweaters, scarves, wraps, wool pants, demin pants, black everything and wouldnt have one thing to wear on a beach if I had to go now.
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#66 of 68 Old 02-04-2008, 03:32 AM
 
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I hope you had wonderful, sunny weather!! I need a vicarious vacation right now. Hope all went well!
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#67 of 68 Old 02-06-2008, 01:25 AM
 
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Teachma-

I totally understand how you feel. This past october, we had to attend my brother's wedding in san diego (the wild fires broke out while we were there), we paid for transportation (flight for four from midwest and rental car), my parents paid for our hotel (they paid for the hotel for all the relatives from my dad's side). We were not able to see some sights due to the fires, everyone was sick with the flu the entire time, I spent the entire trip doing laundry, b/c the kids threw up every night (and I am sure the hotel hated us), including on the way to the airport, all over the carseat and everything. It was just lovely. While my DH and I are happy for my brother and sil, the tripped pretty much sucked, plus we dipped into our savings for that trip. FTR, they did not have to get married in san diego, they just didn't want to get married in the midwest. They were upset that many of their friends were unable to attend their wedding since he majority of the ppl they know (including themselves) reside on the east coast.

Well, we are going through the same crap again for my OTHER brother's wedding next month. I am not sure if my parents are paying for the hotel or not (although I know they are paying for the relatives' hotels again), I always get ratty treatment from my parents. We will be driving four states away and the hotel rooms in this very expensive east coast city are expensive, even the, "cheap" hotels are expensive. What is irritating is that both my brother and fsil's parents are both in the same city here in the midwest, but my fsil decided that all of the venues here are, "boring" so she decides to pick one of the most expensive cities on the east coast to have her wedding at, and she decides to do it at a national chain hotel. Almost all of their guests will be from the midwest, but instead, now everyone is having to travel a long distance to attend their wedding. I'm also not thrilled, b/c in march there is still a chance of bad winter weather, if the weather is bad, we're just going to cancel. Once again, we are dipping into savings to attend this wedding. I'm just waiting for the kids to get the flu again and have another lovely (ie: barfy) trip again.

I guess I am resentful, b/c when I had my wedding I had it in the, "boring" midwest and we went out of our way to be considerate of our guests, b/c my parents made such a big deal about it (apparently, it's now ok to them that my brothers not be that considerate). My wedding also did not cost a fortune like either of my brothers' weddings (what is it about ppl spending globs of $ on weddings these days????), and I do not enjoy traveling with a toddler and preschooler so I can understand TOTALLY your feelings, and I can understand why you don't feel, "lucky" to go on this trip.
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#68 of 68 Old 02-10-2008, 10:04 PM
 
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Hey there... just wondering... how was the wedding???
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