Parents mag's "Baby Sleep from A to Zzzz" - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 04-18-2003, 01:33 PM
 
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I didn't find their F for family bed to be Too bad, except that the research does not support their line that cribs have been found to be safest. The tone was somewhat damning with faint praise, but the advice to remove soft bedding and such and to move bed again a wall or otherwise provide for fall prevention is sound. We want families to co-sleep safely!

Their use of K for kisses was, sadly, for kisses denied. I was not very playful with the children at night when nursing since my goal was to get us back to sleep, but I certainly didn't deny them as many kisses as wanted.

Send in that alternative loving attached alphabet!!!

So many talk about how detached and uncaring young people are, then turn around and preach detached parenting! Where do they think those detached from others kids learned it??

"What will you do once you know?"
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#32 of 41 Old 04-20-2003, 03:07 AM
 
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Here's what I sent:

I must admit that when I got the issue this month I was both eager and apprehensive about reading this article. When I read it I was shocked and saddened. Why, because it seems to me that you're encouraging parents to take the nurturing out of nighttime parenting. When your baby cries during the day do you just ignore her? Do you let her wail for an hour without trying to soothe her? Do you deny her cuddles when she craves them? Do you wake her when she falls asleep at the breast because it isn't "naptime?" Where's the tenderness that babies need and deserve?

The gentle parenting of my baby doesn't stop when the sun goes down. For many months she happily nursed to sleep in my warm secure arms. Her cries at night were answered with soft words, warm touches, a soothing breast, a gentle song, and the swaying movement of our glider. She, like most babies, had needs at nighttime that we as parents met in a manner that we would wish for ourselves - respect and gentleness.

I think you've done both babies and parents a great disservice in publishing this article and hope that in the future you will consider some of these things from a babies point of view or perhaps even look at how you'd feel put in your baby's place. Would you like to cry for an hour at the top of your lungs with no response?

Keely
Disappointed reader in SoCal
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#33 of 41 Old 04-20-2003, 08:56 PM
 
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What a wonderful letter, Keely! Beautiful said.
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#34 of 41 Old 04-21-2003, 12:49 AM
 
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I just sent them our ABC aswell as a seperate latter hat was probably a little harsh but I also suggested the review elizabeth Pantleys No Cry Sleep Solution for parents who would feel horrible teaching thier children that a adults sleep is more important than a baby's feelings.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#35 of 41 Old 04-21-2003, 02:09 AM
 
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lilyka, - it would be cool if they publish it, or any of the other letters we've been sending in! will someone who gets the magazine keep an eye out and let us know?

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#36 of 41 Old 04-21-2003, 12:55 PM
 
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I have a subscription (which I'm regretting now!). I'll keep my eyes peeled and let everyone know if any of us get published.

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#37 of 41 Old 05-01-2003, 03:31 PM
 
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So here's the response I got today:
Quote:
Thanks for your email. We appreciate the opportunity to hear and address
your concerns. We don't advocate any one method but try to offer a variety
of options in the magazine for parents with varying lifestyles who are
desperate for a sound night's sleep.

In the upcoming summer issue of Parents Baby we focus on what parents can do
to avoid Ferberizing, with expert advice from Elizabeth Pantley, who
authored "The No Cry, Sleep Solution." And we also ran a great essay in
praise of co-sleeping in our April issue as well as an admission by our
editor-in-chief that her daughter still sleeps with them at five.

We're sorry we disappointed you in this case and hope you'll keep in touch
whenever another article piques your interest (or indignation).

Have a safe and happy spring!

Best regards,
> Barbara Brandon-Croft
> Acting Reader Service Editor, Parents Magazine
> 375 Lexington Avenue * New York, NY 10017
>
> Phone: 212.499.2030
> Fax: 212.499.2083
Somehow I'm not impressed...off to think on it...
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#38 of 41 Old 05-05-2003, 12:21 AM
 
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I sent in the A-z that you guys wrote (hope you don't mind ). It sounds like they liked it (it inspired more than a form letter though). So keep an eye open. Hopefully it will appear in the letters section at least.



>>"That's beautiful! I'll be sure to pass your letter on to our other editors
and hope you'll get in touch again whenever an article we publish moves you
(one way or another).

Best regards,
> Barbara Brandon-Croft
> Acting Reader Service Editor, Parents Magazine
> 375 Lexington Avenue * New York, NY 10017
>
> Phone: 212.499.2030
> Fax: 212.499.2083
>
>
Be sure to explore our website at www.parents.com

> ----------
> From: [email protected]
> Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2003 10:47 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: better a to z of sleeping
>
> A= Attachment Parenting
> B=Breastfeed when you want
> C=Cuddle
> D= is for dancing babies love to dance
> E= is for eating and babes love to eat at mom's on cue
> F= is for family bed it is the safest place for babe to be
> G=Gentle Discipline and treating our babies with respect
> H=Holding, Holding, and Holding our babies some more.
> I=Instinctual parenting...listen to your heart, not the mainstream.
> J is for Just pick them up!
> K is for Kisses whenever they need them
> L is for Love- its always okay to hold and love your baby!!
> M is for mama's milk!
> N is for nursing to sleep
> O is for their little round mouths when they are deeply asleep
> P is for papa snuggling with baby in the family bed
> Q is for questioning mainstream "wisdom"
> R is for responding to baby's cries
> S is for sharing the family bed
> T is for trusting your natural instincts
> U is for unconditional love and patience
> V is for valuing the time you get to hold and nurse your little one
> to sleep.
> W is for waking up with a beautiful baby face next to yours
> X is for xamining little toes while breast feeding
> Y is for yawning together in the family bed
> Z is for zzzzzz
>
>
> Written by a collection of loving mothers.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#39 of 41 Old 05-05-2003, 02:37 AM
 
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That is awesome! I think we should flag it for the mod's attention for post of the week!

Rock on!

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#40 of 41 Old 05-06-2003, 12:00 AM
 
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It is incredible to see it all put togrther, a joint effort from loving moms who share the same ideals.

Lilyka, thanks for compiling it and sending it along to the editors.
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#41 of 41 Old 05-06-2003, 12:34 AM
 
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I started sending their magazines back to them years ago. They had an article that said something to the effect "if your boy plays with dolls, give him boy toys. If he still wants to play with dolls at age 3, you may want to seek counseling" Not a direct quote, but that's what they were saying.

What a load of &%!T New mothers are so vulnerable and reading an article like this can be so confusing.

How could ANYONE let a baby cry for an hour?!?!?!?!??!

Good job ladies on the action you took. I'm working on my letter right now. I also have a few friends who don't come to Mothering. I'm going to forward this on to them. You all may want to do the same.

I'm off to kiss my sweeties now.
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