Grrrr! Why can't people just wake up and be *conscious* about their own offensive thoughts and words without having to be *reminded* by the people they offend! I feel like I'm seeing this all over the place, and while I'm willing to step up and open my big mouth every single time I hear someone showing their ignorance about another race or gender or sexual orientation or whatever -- today I am just wishing people would enlighten their own selves and not have to be politely asked, "Um, could you please be less offensive when you're in earshot of me?"
I have to vent about what just happened at work... but really also about what underlies this scene (which is why I came to Activism when I had been headed to TAO!).
So I have a pretty dull part time job, doing office work in a little room off of a larger workplace. While I'm working away at my computer, there are often conversations next door. I can always hear them.
Yesterday a woman employee here confronted both the manager and the owner of the business about a sexist comment made earlier, which they both joined in laughing about. She pointed out that might not be a good example for the rest of the staff. (*sigh* to put it mildly). They of course agreed and apologized profusely for having offended her.
Today I hear the same two men speaking. The one describes a perk of his previous job, making service calls somewhere where the owner's daughter was "so hot & should've been in Playboy."
Other guy laughs. Whatever. Juvenile, objectifying.... Then he says:
"Oops, I should be careful what I say. Someone might get offended."
This is when I entered the room. Pointed out I could hear! (Once again,
) But that more important was that I wished he wouldn't measure his words... or thoughts for that matter... by who was listening.
"I barely have the energy to have to explain this to you," I said, "But really, to consider the only measure of your words & behaviors are tolerable to be whether someone who cares about that P.C. sh*t could hear you is such a low ethical bar! I don't say this for myself," (because he started to apologize for offending me) "but because it is not okay when I don't overhear either! You don't just refrain from sexism when there's a woman in the room, or from racism in front of a black employee. That is sad. Shoudn't it matter that all of these views contribute to the world we are raising our children in? Yes, I am going to say something when I hear a comment about a woman that I would not want made about my daughter. But *why* do you need me to do that?! Would you want men to make Playboy comments about your daughter someday?" [His partner is pregnant]
Okay, that's enough about that. I'm calming down now, lol. But can anyone else relate to this frustration that society is still so backwards, that the increase in tolerance seems to be so superficial still - as in, let me watch my mouth when the "wrong person" (lesbian, Hispanic, wheelchair bound, whomever the case may be) might be listening? When my dd is grown can I hope their will be a growing *deep* consciousness about our interconnectedness?
still shaking her head,