Quiverful Tribe: It's 2009! (Part 1) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 993 Old 01-20-2009, 06:49 PM
 
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SheBear

I am sorry AF has returned now. I know it can be frightening. And I know what it is like to have doubts. My Hubby had boubts a lot in the early years, and it can really strain a marriage. But this is what I find, determine your convictions. Then just refuse to give in to fear, and stand by them. No matter what worries come against you. For God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound (unconfused) mind.

If it is right to be QF, then now is the time to stand on your beliefs.

I was just telling my DH the other day that there are many that claim to be QF, but you only really know your true QF convitions when you either have no children or are having many. It is really easy to have a "conviction" when there is no faith involved. When you get to the point of having to step beyond your comfort zone, but still do it because of your convictions; that, is faith.

Hang in there, you will make it!

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when it's all said and done, a conviction isn't worth following unless it's followed even through the hardest of times. otherwise it's merely a preference.
I like the way you stated that! It is exaclty right.

I will keep you in my prayers. I have never had to struggle with read depression, so I have no words of advice. Just know that you are not alone and there are many sisters here standing with you. All you have to do is to reach out.

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#62 of 993 Old 01-20-2009, 07:12 PM
 
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I have just loved reading all the different personalities of the children.

I know when I had my second child, I thought, "Wow, to opposite personalities!". So, when I was pg with my third, I wondered which one he would be like. And to my utter surprise! He was another opposite! Having three opposites, well, lets just say it was quite an adventure for my young mind to comprehend. That is when I finally got it. All children are totally unique!

And it has never failed, every new baby has been unique. Sure, there have been glimses of some of the others, but when you look at them for themselves, they are totally unique! And it is such a beautiful sight.

I love unique children!

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#63 of 993 Old 01-20-2009, 07:18 PM
 
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OK, time for the new...
Question of the week:

Do people know you are QF?

If no, then why?

If yes, what do people say; family, friends, church, and strangers at the store?

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#64 of 993 Old 01-20-2009, 07:26 PM
 
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Question of the week:

Do people know you are QF?
I think most people know I am QF.

If yes, what do people say; family, friends, church, and strangers at the store?

Family tends to think I am a bit crazy, a lot irresponsible, and really stupid. Although I do have a few members that are "OK" with it (as if they have the right to dictate), and one or two that think it is good.

Friends tend to think I am this "wonderful saint". Someone that is so perfect and wonderful that I never make mistakes and am the one to go to for any and all advice. I find this scarry, as when you put anyone up on a pedistal they will eventually topple off.

Church members think I am crazy and overstepping what God intended, and it has been said by several, "She really should stop", or "Doesn't she know how to 'fix' that?"

Most strangers are in two catagories. One, "Hey, I am glad it is you not me!" and Two, "The world is already so overpopulated you are just being irresponsible", and "Don't you feel bad about ruining the enviornment?"


It really is interesting to think of all the varying responses.

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#65 of 993 Old 01-20-2009, 08:49 PM
 
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Hmm ... we have 2 children, almost 5 years apart, so people who don't know us well probably think we "planned" it that way. Of course, if we end up having a new child every 5 years until I'm 57, or whatever age I go through menopause (I'm 44 now), people might start wondering, "Don't they know how to fix that?!"

People who know us really well know we don't do anything to prevent children. I've never had anyone say we're crazy -- but I have heard stuff like "Better you than me ... I know 40 would be too old for 'me' to be pregnant ..."

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#66 of 993 Old 01-20-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
I was just telling my DH the other day that there are many that claim to be QF, but you only really know your true QF convitions when you either have no children or are having many. It is really easy to have a "conviction" when there is no faith involved. When you get to the point of having to step beyond your comfort zone, but still do it because of your convictions; that, is faith.
That's true. I almost never think about how much harder it will be when there are 6 instead of one with one on the way. And the support system will seem much smaller. Especially since I'm sure they will think we're nuts. And I know it would be hard to have none. I am always thankful that it was so easy for us to get pregnant when we decided that we would like to have a family. I wonder if I'll still be so thankful a few children from now that it's so easy.

QOTW
Nope. They didn't ask. And I don't feel any need to tell them. And those who do know, don't know so in such specific turns. A good deal of people know how I feel about birth control, but they don't grasp that this means I could have a dozen (or 2!) kids if that is in God's plan for me. It's easy for people to blow off because of my age and the fact that we're just parents of one of each right now. Though no one has said "Well, now you're done!" Some people have said "2 is a good number" but eh. I think even if I were to get in a horrible accident that removed my uterus, I would still adopt. I just don't think that we were only meant to have 2 kids.

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#67 of 993 Old 01-20-2009, 11:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
I was just telling my DH the other day that there are many that claim to be QF, but you only really know your true QF convitions when you either have no children or are having many. It is really easy to have a "conviction" when there is no faith involved. When you get to the point of having to step beyond your comfort zone, but still do it because of your convictions; that, is faith.
Wow, according to this, some of us will never know our true QF convictions! I got pregnant with dd1 on my wedding night, so I've never had the test to my faith, of waiting for month after month, and still not being pregnant.

And, at 44, it's possible God might bless us with a 3rd baby, but it's not likely that we'll ever have "many." Unless you define "many" as 2 or 3 kids?

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#68 of 993 Old 01-20-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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OK, time for the new...
Question of the week:

Do people know you are QF?

If no, then why?

If yes, what do people say; family, friends, church, and strangers at the store?
Most of my friends know we are convicted to be QF.

My family....they just think we are crazy and want lots of kids. They don't know that we are "convicted". I am a first generation Christian (my brother is too) so they are offended by almost anything "Christian".

People...well some look up to us...those that "wish they could do the same but....for x,y,z don't"

Others...mostly family and strangers....make rude comments about what causes it and when we are getting DH fixed. We answer some and agree with others...just tired of fighting about it....especially with family.
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#69 of 993 Old 01-21-2009, 01:50 AM
 
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Wow, according to this, some of us will never know our true QF convictions! I got pregnant with dd1 on my wedding night, so I've never had the test to my faith, of waiting for month after month, and still not being pregnant.

And, at 44, it's possible God might bless us with a 3rd baby, but it's not likely that we'll ever have "many." Unless you define "many" as 2 or 3 kids?
I'm sorry. I did not mean it that way.

I just intended to mean that you never really know how serious your convictions are until they are put to the test. If you never have the limits of you convictions tested, there is always room for doubt.

This is the same way I believe any faith is.

I had this revelation after my daughter's accident. I had been raised a Christian, and always said nothing could destroy my faith. But until I was staring into the face of the hardest trial of my life, feeling my faith being battered around like a flag in a tornado, I had no bases to prove that my faith would stand.
However, now that I have faced the trial head on, and my faith is not only still intact but much stronger, now I can say with conviction that nothing will destroy my faith.

I really am sorry if I offended, that was not my intent.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
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#70 of 993 Old 01-21-2009, 04:09 AM
 
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thanks everyone who gave me support. I'm honestly going through a lot physically and emotionally right now. but tough times come. and it can be true (if you live by faith) that tough times do make you stronger. I am praying God will refine and rebuild me after this time of tearing down is through.

I am blessed to have a wonderful godly husband to be by my side through this. truly we are goign through this together so I am never alone.

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#71 of 993 Old 01-21-2009, 09:24 AM
 
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OK, time for the new...
Question of the week:

Do people know you are QF?

If no, then why?

If yes, what do people say; family, friends, church, and strangers at the store?
For the people that don't know, it has just never come up around them. I'm really pretty open about it. I rarely use the term "quiverful" though, because around here not many people are familiar with it. The people who do know, have had lots of responses. Even being offended thinking that I was trying to imply that they were not in submission to God b/c they used birth control. Once, when I was talking about being pregnant again and was asked how many children I want, I responded with "I want all the children God wants to give me, when He wants to give them to me" and was met with "That's so sweet." I have one friend who is really praying about quiverful now. I don't know if it's because of me or not, though I'm pretty sure I'm the only one she knows like that. We have a lot of the same convictions at around the same time.
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#72 of 993 Old 01-21-2009, 01:09 PM
 
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Do people know you are QF?
The people around us know. It's a pet subject of dh's and we are very clear when people ask us that no, we are not "done" and we are open to more blessings from God.

Quote:
If yes, what do people say; family, friends, church, and strangers at the store?
It ranges from "That's really cool. I admire you" to "You're nuts". I have had one truly negative experience, verbally attacked by some stranger in the grocery store about having "too many" (I have 3) and "you just can't do that in this day and age". In the same month though, another stranger in the grocery store stopped to admire the kids and tell my what blessing children are and how sad she was that God had never blessed her and her husband with children. She was so sweet.
At church one pastor asked me if we were "done" and I said "We'll have the number of children God wants us to". She grabbed the microphone in the sunday school room and said for all to hear "Wow, what faith. You're a better woman than I am!" and on and on. I really couldn't tell if it was a compliment or a backhanded insult.
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#73 of 993 Old 01-21-2009, 01:11 PM
 
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Laura,
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#74 of 993 Old 01-21-2009, 03:47 PM
 
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Question of the week:

Do people know you are QF?

If no, then why?

If yes, what do people say; family, friends, church, and strangers at the store?


Most people really don't know, it just hasn't came up. I don't want people to feel like I think I am better than them because of it. My parents would freak, they just keep asking how many and I say I don't know. When people ask if we are having any more children (most in the form of "are you going to try for a girl?") I just say not today

I am still trying to figure out what QF means for us and learn to trust, I guess, in the birth situation and finances.

Stephanie married to Jerry  partners.gif  mama to  modifiedartist.gif (10) and superhero.gif(7) and 3rdtri.gif
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#75 of 993 Old 01-21-2009, 06:44 PM
 
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I had this revelation after my daughter's accident. I had been raised a Christian, and always said nothing could destroy my faith. But until I was staring into the face of the hardest trial of my life, feeling my faith being battered around like a flag in a tornado, I had no bases to prove that my faith would stand.
However, now that I have faced the trial head on, and my faith is not only still intact but much stronger, now I can say with conviction that nothing will destroy my faith.


Quote:
I really am sorry if I offended, that was not my intent.
I understand better what you mean now!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#76 of 993 Old 01-22-2009, 06:33 PM
 
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Hi mamas. Thanks for all the help earlier. I have had some trying days and the last 2 days have probably been the poorest spiritually and emotionally. I'm still not sure if I belong here. I do feel like God is trying to teach me something in this journey of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood that I haven't quite gotten yet. I've been led to look into being quiverful. No one I know IRL is quiverful or would support me in that decision. DH is not quiverful. We have mutually agreed on no sterilization, birth control pills, or anything in that vein. Barrier method for now. I had a Mirena removed almost 2 weeks ago and AF has been around off and on since. I have to say I'm a bit depressed and unsure of myself on many levels right now. I just wanted to say hello and let you know I'm lurking. I may occasionally post. I also wanted to ask for prayer. Thanks again.

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#77 of 993 Old 01-22-2009, 11:05 PM
 
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I am having a minor freak out over here... we found out today that our baby due in June is another boy (yay!! I am thrilled that DS will have a little brother just 14 months younger then he is...

Then it hit me... I am going to be hugely pregnant chasing after a toddler who already tires me out at only 20 weeks (he is 9 months old and walking already) and who makes me sore lifting him. How will I do this? How will I cope with 2 little boys so close together!?!? I am SO excited but just so scared I won't be enough for both of them..

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#78 of 993 Old 01-23-2009, 10:15 AM
 
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I am having a minor freak out over here... we found out today that our baby due in June is another boy (yay!! I am thrilled that DS will have a little brother just 14 months younger then he is...

Then it hit me... I am going to be hugely pregnant chasing after a toddler who already tires me out at only 20 weeks (he is 9 months old and walking already) and who makes me sore lifting him. How will I do this? How will I cope with 2 little boys so close together!?!? I am SO excited but just so scared I won't be enough for both of them..
congratulations! I understand your concerns, though. I really do. My best advise (aside from obviously praying about it often) is to try and prepare your body as best you can. get as much rest as you can now. take some extra supplements to help with iron, magnesium and all the other things mom are normally depleted in. May seem silly, but it makes a huge difference in post partum parenting!

transtichel.gifMom of three - (2.5 yrs, 7yrs, and 11yrs). Birthing Doula, editor, and wife to my soulmate. I've had a c/s, hospital VBAC, UC and not yet decided what I'll do about this next little one

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#79 of 993 Old 01-23-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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To answer the question of the week, we don't go out of our way to tell ppl that we are QF. I think most of the family know, since we've had 3 kids in 3 years. Both my family and my husbands are used to the idea though since both of our parents were QF. Not all of our siblings are QF though. I was just telling my husband this morning that in town I get "Oh, how cute, I could never do it." One lady last week told me that I was the mother of the year. To me I don't think my kids are that close in age. I know ppl with multiple kids closer together in age then 18 months. Then I get the never ending "You have your hands FULL!" Someone once asked me if I was scared to have a bunch of kids. I had to tell her that most of the time babies only come one at a time. You slowly work your way up to 12 kids, they don't all come at one. : Truthfully, I'm having a much easier time adjusting to 3 kids then I did to two. It helps that my baby isn't very fussy.

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#80 of 993 Old 01-23-2009, 05:47 PM
 
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My huband for the first time mentioned being QF (except we never use the word "QF" with people IRL, really). he mentioned it on his blog. we'll see how that goes.

Last week someone at work made a rather intrusive and rude comment about it (thus prompting the blog he wrote). He said if his wife got as sick as I do when I'm pregnant he would put his foot down and say "no more kids!" to his wife. (you know... as if i like being sick and pregnant and i'm just begging for more illness??? gimme a break!) and my husband said he felt it was God's plan for our family to let Him control the sixe of our family. (this guy is also a christian) and he guy flat out says to his face,
"well I think a lot of people intepret scripture very wrong in that area!"

um ok.. thanks for your scriptural input? in the middle of work! and for no good reason! not that it's ANY of your business whatsoever. I just love it that random strangers feel the desire ot have input on our SEX LIFE!! lol How weird! I would never just make comments on people's personal sexual decisions.

aside from that I've maybe told 3 people. only when the subect came up. Not b/c I'm embarrassed. but b/c I just don't happen to say things like "we NEVER use birth control, but we really like having sex!" in the middle of conversations with people. but if the topic comes up I don't mind sharing about it at all. this is ourthird pregnancy and already the comments are starting. I didn't think I'd hear them til we have 4 or 5 atleast!

transtichel.gifMom of three - (2.5 yrs, 7yrs, and 11yrs). Birthing Doula, editor, and wife to my soulmate. I've had a c/s, hospital VBAC, UC and not yet decided what I'll do about this next little one

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#81 of 993 Old 01-23-2009, 08:02 PM
 
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but b/c I just don't happen to say things like "we NEVER use birth control, but we really like having sex!" in the middle of conversations with people.
: That is just too funny!

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#82 of 993 Old 01-23-2009, 09:00 PM
 
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It is one of those things we don't advertise, but it is kind of hard to miss our family size when I'm pregnant with #7. We usually just say: Yes, we are very blessed! We don't know if our family is complete, we leave that up to God!

We've had plenty of stunned expressions :-) :-) and a number of rude comments.

Anelle
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#83 of 993 Old 01-24-2009, 04:20 AM
 
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but b/c I just don't happen to say things like "we NEVER use birth control, but we really like having sex!" in the middle of conversations with people.

Bri: mom to K: and M: at 27 weeks and 33 weeks :
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#84 of 993 Old 01-24-2009, 02:21 PM
 
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well I do imagine if you have 5 or 7 kids people probably get even gutsier and start asking even more point blank questions lol. So maybe I would say it then... but with only 2.5 kids I only get those questions glances or semi-rude comments so far. I haven't been stopped in the store and questioned by a total stranger just yet - but if I had to I would say that

transtichel.gifMom of three - (2.5 yrs, 7yrs, and 11yrs). Birthing Doula, editor, and wife to my soulmate. I've had a c/s, hospital VBAC, UC and not yet decided what I'll do about this next little one

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#85 of 993 Old 01-25-2009, 12:25 AM
 
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Do people know you are QF? No

If no, then why? I'm just afraid that people wouldn't understand. I get a kick out of people who say "You're busy" or "you've got your hands full". I think to myself, "well, I'm working on my quiver-full!"

I see my children as a blessing, and it just hurts to think about preventing God from blessing my family with more. I feel that is God's choice to make, not ours. I am just a servant to the Lord. After the arrival of #3, I realized that God is giving us what we can handle.
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#86 of 993 Old 01-26-2009, 04:32 AM
 
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Delurking to ask a question.

I introduced myself a while back, and this has been on my heart for well... ever. I've always visualized myself with a large family, and having as many children as God gives us. BUT...

Are there any qf mama's that are wohm? Can this ideology be compatible with working outside of the home?

Argh, my mind is going crazy with all of these problems and scenarios.

I am not crunchy enough for this forum. Everyday I get a little crunchier though! :
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#87 of 993 Old 01-26-2009, 01:40 PM
 
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Are there any qf mama's that are wohm? Can this ideology be compatible with working outside of the home?

Argh, my mind is going crazy with all of these problems and scenarios.
sorry I'm unfamiliar with that term... what is "wohm"?

transtichel.gifMom of three - (2.5 yrs, 7yrs, and 11yrs). Birthing Doula, editor, and wife to my soulmate. I've had a c/s, hospital VBAC, UC and not yet decided what I'll do about this next little one

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#88 of 993 Old 01-26-2009, 01:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by HennyPenny View Post
sorry I'm unfamiliar with that term... what is "wohm"?
Work-Outside-Home-Mom (Just as WAHM means Work-At-Home-Mom and SAHM means Stay-AT-Home-Mom).

I know one couple with 14 kids who is planning on this. Both Mom and Dad have been going to college for a couple of years, while their older children homeschool and watch the younger children while their parents are in class. I suppose the plan is that the older will watch the younger fulltime when both Mom and Dad finish school and start their jobs.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#89 of 993 Old 01-26-2009, 02:45 PM
 
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I know a few WOHM's and it is not easy. Most have some other support system built in, one has a SAHD to replace her. If you don't homeschool and all the children are of school age, it could be done somewhat easily if you worked school hours. Otherwise it would take careful thought and work on the matter to make it come out right. But it could be done.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#90 of 993 Old 01-26-2009, 03:08 PM
 
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Oh, and I forgot to add that the family I mentioned that now has 14 kids, used to earn most of their income delivering papers. They had a whole bunch of routes, and their older kids all helped. One of the girls would stay home to care for the little ones, while everyone else did the routes. I think the kids did all the legwork, while Mom and Dad each drove (separate cars) and directed everyone.

It just depends how comfortable people are about kids working but not exactly getting their own pay. I mean, I know everyone helps out in a family -- but these kids worked super hard ... I guess it's no different from Little House on the Prairie, though. And the kids seem happy.

It's like a major bonus to each of these kids, when they reach the age where they can get a job and actually earn their own money. They've been working hard all along, but now they actually have something in their own pocket.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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