Question for Covering Ladies - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-15-2009, 05:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Why do you cover your hair? I'm just curious, since I've been feeling more and more like I should cover my hair for some unknown reason, and right when I do, but then I also feel like I feel silly, since I have no reason to do so, and in my "world" people don't cover their hair. I love my hair, and I think its one of my best features, and in some ways, hate the idea of hiding it from everyone, but I also like the idea. My religion or spirituality doesn't require that I cover my hair, but I feel like I should.

If it is a religious thing, is it because that is what you feel is right? a custom? scripturally mandated? (do you have a quote?) I'm just curious. I'd also love to hear "how" you cover your hair. How much. Is a bandana enough? must the entire length of your hair be covered? must all hair (including all of your brow)? when do you cover? all the time? in public? in front of men? in front of non-family?

Thank you very much.

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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Old 02-15-2009, 11:05 AM
 
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For me it's scripturally mandated (1 Corinthians 11). For me it's a symbol, so there's no strict rules about how. A bandana is enough, although I sometimes wear tichel-style coverings. Or snoods. I usually put my hair up, so that the majority of it is covered, but I don't cover all the ay up to my hairline--dh thinks that makes me look bald and he doens't like that at all.
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Old 02-15-2009, 02:34 PM
 
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About a year before we started going to our Mennonite church (we were going to a charismatic non-denominational church), I started feeling God call me to cover my head but I didn't do it because I didn't want to stand out.

Shortly after we started going to North Baltimore Mennonite, I felt it again and realized that I couldn't keep ignoring that nudge to not only dress modestly but to also wear a headcovering. Now, only one other woman at the church covered and she had grown up conservative Mennonite. Most of the church here is fairly liberal. So I didn't manage to avoid standing out.

I cover with a bandana and put my hair up underneath.

Here are some links for you:

http://storiesfromtheredtent.blogspo...-covering.html
http://www.christiancoverings.com/articles.html
http://www.scrollpublishing.com/stor...g-history.html

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Old 02-16-2009, 12:12 AM
 
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I'm pagan so there is no scriptural reason, no question of modesty or group identity, in my covering. However, I feel like covering helps me regulate the energy I'm exposed to on a daily basis... sort of like wearing a jacket if I'm heading outside on a windy day, or carrying an umbrella if there is a chance of rain. The covering is a way for me to cut down on the "static" from other people and focus my energy/attention within myself.

So I generally cover the crown of my head (say a bandana or wide scarf tied over my hair) but not all my hair, and I cover most of the time. Certainly if I'm going out or am expecting a stressful day. But since I don't feel like I am "obliged" to cover (for lack of a better term) I don't feel like I "have" to cover in any given situation. For example, I was in a wedding recently and the bride didn't want me to cover my hair... so I didn't.

There is a thread in the Religious Studies forum specifically discussing pagans who cover... it's an interesting thread since most (modern) pagan paths don't require/suggest covering so each person in the thread has their own reasoning and experience.

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Old 02-16-2009, 04:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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wombatclay, thats exactly what I was looking for. thank you so much. I'll go check out that thread. I'm pagan and renewal/reformish jewish, and the only real covering reasons I know are the christian or orthodox jewish ones, which don't work for me, though I respect other ladies finding those good reasons. I keep kosher "because god says to" but can't cover my hair "because god says to" apparently. weird, yes, but hey.

thank you to phathui and cappucinosmom as well.

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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my reasons are that like cappuccinosmom and phathui5. I was going to write it out. but they summe dit up for me

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Old 02-17-2009, 01:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Magelet View Post
Why do you cover your hair? I'm just curious, since I've been feeling more and more like I should cover my hair for some unknown reason, and right when I do, but then I also feel like I feel silly, since I have no reason to do so, and in my "world" people don't cover their hair. I love my hair, and I think its one of my best features, and in some ways, hate the idea of hiding it from everyone, but I also like the idea. My religion or spirituality doesn't require that I cover my hair, but I feel like I should.

If it is a religious thing, is it because that is what you feel is right? a custom? scripturally mandated? (do you have a quote?) I'm just curious. I'd also love to hear "how" you cover your hair. How much. Is a bandana enough? must the entire length of your hair be covered? must all hair (including all of your brow)? when do you cover? all the time? in public? in front of men? in front of non-family?

Thank you very much.
I cover my hair because it's rabbinically mandated. My hair became ervah (nakedness) after I was married, because hair is erotic. It's now something I share with my DH. The scriptural basis is Numbers 5:18 - where the priest uncovers the head of the adulterous woman to shame her.

I'm not a full-time coverer (I'm also not Orthodox), just to put that out there. I try to cover all the time, but there are certain situations where I just don't feel secure covering. It's a hard mitzvah (commandment) for me.

I've covered with snoods, bandannas, and hats, and I cover everything but my bangs. I'm saving up for a wig, though, and will probably cover full-time when that happens.

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Old 03-06-2009, 08:58 PM
 
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I am also starting to feel drawn to cover, though I'm not exactly sure why. We are not religous or anything. But my dh and I went through some relationship "stuff" recently and now I am feeling drawn to this thought of I want to be more modest, keep things more special for only him to see. Like a few weeks ago I would have never even thought along these lines and now it's like it's inside of me...I'm thinking about this stuff all of the time for some reason.

I don't want to radically change the way I dress or anything, but just knowing a few small adjustments could make a difference. I'm also starting to feel like I want to kind of follow him "as the man of the house" etc. I'm an adult married woman with small daughters....not a 21 year old college student anymore. I feel like I'm going off the deepend a little! People who know me IRL would think I'm nuts! (and please don't take offense to this, it would just be very different from how I am now).

Anyway, today I put a scarf in my hair (which is pretty much always in a ponytail) and getting lots of compliments.

Has anyone else had these kind of experiences??? Maybe I'm just moving to a different point in my life?

Thanks Ladies!

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Old 03-06-2009, 11:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Izzysmom View Post
I am also starting to feel drawn to cover, though I'm not exactly sure why. We are not religous or anything. But my dh and I went through some relationship "stuff" recently and now I am feeling drawn to this thought of I want to be more modest, keep things more special for only him to see. Like a few weeks ago I would have never even thought along these lines and now it's like it's inside of me...I'm thinking about this stuff all of the time for some reason.

I don't want to radically change the way I dress or anything, but just knowing a few small adjustments could make a difference. I'm also starting to feel like I want to kind of follow him "as the man of the house" etc. I'm an adult married woman with small daughters....not a 21 year old college student anymore. I feel like I'm going off the deepend a little! People who know me IRL would think I'm nuts! (and please don't take offense to this, it would just be very different from how I am now).

Anyway, today I put a scarf in my hair (which is pretty much always in a ponytail) and getting lots of compliments.

Has anyone else had these kind of experiences??? Maybe I'm just moving to a different point in my life?

Thanks Ladies!
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Old 03-07-2009, 02:14 PM
 
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scripturally mandated - 1 Corinthians 11

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Old 03-07-2009, 11:02 PM
 
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I'm a Muslim, and while most of the world accepts that it's required, I'm of the minority school of thought that it is not a *requirement,* but is sort of an "extra-credit" kind of thing. While I don't personally feel that it is a mandate (fard), I was tired of being the "stealth Muslim" and "outing" myself here in the US. I wear my headcovering as an outward symbol of my religion, so that there are no mistakes about who I really am. I cover all of my hair, including the (quite long) length and hairline. My favorite scarf at the moment is one with peace symbols on it. I actually have two with this patten, one brown and beige and the other black and white. Since it's a "statement" for me, I figured why not go all the way? I cover whenever I am out of my house, except the privacy-fenced backyard, and when there are non-related males in my house (with a few exceptions). I also wear "modest" clothing that doesn't show the shape of my body (much), long sleeves, long skirts, and loose tops.
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:00 AM
 
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Little hijack from a non-coverer-

So do you feel a connection if/when you see other women (that is, strangers) in public who also cover?

Or is it just like when I see another person who wears red boots- I think they have good taste, but that's it.

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Old 03-08-2009, 12:11 AM
 
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So do you feel a connection if/when you see other women (that is, strangers) in public who also cover?
Oh absolutely. A feeling of kinship.

I made a friend because of the covering. I spotted her in the library and she just had the *look* of someone who was intentionally modest and covering. Went home, told dh about her and he said "Quick, go back there and ask her about it! You need a friend!" So I did. We have pretty much nothing in common besides the covering/modesty, but we hit it off immediately as friends. :
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Old 03-08-2009, 01:14 AM
 
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So do you feel a connection if/when you see other women (that is, strangers) in public who also cover?
Sometimes it gets a little marred by racial/ethnic politics :, but overall the smiles, at the very least, that pass between obviously muslim women crossing paths on the street or wherever are pretty famous among muslim women. I love that. Not sure how it works across religious lines.
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know lol. I've never met anyone else who was covered. (or else, they might just have been stealthy about it and it looked like a schnazzy accesory). also, I'm not covering all the time. But I bonded with one other lady on mdc over that and we've become good friends. (lots of other things in common, and plenty of things totally different)

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:11 PM
 
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Little hijack from a non-coverer-

So do you feel a connection if/when you see other women (that is, strangers) in public who also cover?

Or is it just like when I see another person who wears red boots- I think they have good taste, but that's it.
oh I totally feel a connection! and I love it when that happens. of course now that I've moved to amish country pa (lol) lots of people cover... but I'm not amish so it's very different. I don't feel a "connection" to that so much... but there are some head covering christians (non-amish) that cover and I always feel a special warmth when I see them out and about (they are far less common)

when I was in maryland I even felt connects to people of other faiths that covered. that was always interesting!

transtichel.gifMom of three - (2.5 yrs, 7yrs, and 11yrs). Birthing Doula, editor, and wife to my soulmate. I've had a c/s, hospital VBAC, UC and not yet decided what I'll do about this next little one

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Old 03-08-2009, 01:26 PM
 
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Little hijack from a non-coverer-

So do you feel a connection if/when you see other women (that is, strangers) in public who also cover?

Or is it just like when I see another person who wears red boots- I think they have good taste, but that's it.
I do for some reason feel a connection when i see other women... i love it when i see other Christian women (non mennonite, amish etc) covered... I just in general like seeing covered women and although i may not talk to them i do smile.. i find they are usually more warm and smile back than strangers..

Seperated, Cape Dress Wearing, Covered, Conservative Mennonite Mama to big girl K.
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Old 03-08-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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I find a connection to obviously Jewish/Muslim covering mommas. Not so much to Christian mommas, but I live in Lancaster county too and headcovering Christians are a dime a dozen here.

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Old 03-08-2009, 10:39 PM
 
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I do it for much the same reasons as Turkish Kate. It is more of an outward symbol of my faith, than something that I feel is a requirement. I cover in spurts too, I will cover for a few months and then decide against it, and then start coverring again. Most recently I started coverring again, because I wantedto be more connected to the people of my faith, I think that there is a real unity in coverring. In fact, all of my friends at school are also hijabis that I probably would have never even talked to if we didn't cover, it also helps that by saying salam we are forced to talk to each other. Right now I have promised myself I'll continue to wear hijab until I get my bachelors and then go from there.
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Old 03-09-2009, 02:07 AM
 
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About a year before we started going to our Mennonite church (we were going to a charismatic non-denominational church), I started feeling God call me to cover my head but I didn't do it because I didn't want to stand out.

Shortly after we started going to North Baltimore Mennonite, I felt it again and realized that I couldn't keep ignoring that nudge to not only dress modestly but to also wear a headcovering. Now, only one other woman at the church covered and she had grown up conservative Mennonite. Most of the church here is fairly liberal. So I didn't manage to avoid standing out.

I cover with a bandana and put my hair up underneath.

Here are some links for you:

http://storiesfromtheredtent.blogspo...-covering.html
http://www.christiancoverings.com/articles.html
http://www.scrollpublishing.com/stor...g-history.html


I have been having that pull, and a "pull" to change churches.( I am in a Baptist, but a very "freewill" church, barefoot on stage while singing etc, and just feel like I personally need more structure and reverence in my church, a follower not a leader,lol) I am trying to feel Gods will and be lead, but I feel like the original poster, about feeling out of place. Even though I teach my children it is the way of God not the way of man, I guess the old saying practice what you preach. I am doing some investigating in my area to find the spiritual calling I am feeling. Thanks so much for the links!
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:36 PM
 
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thanks ladies, need to come back and read more

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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