Can I Be An Attachment Parent and Christian? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-05-2009, 05:00 PM
 
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Hasn't stopped me. I belong to the Unity Church.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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Old 04-06-2009, 03:35 AM
 
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I see the Popcak book was already recommended - I love that one! Also Breastfeeding and Catholic Motherhood: God's Plan for You and Your Baby.

And I am an AP parent mostly because I'm Catholic - I can't see any other way to parent, given my religious beliefs, and vice-versa!

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Old 04-07-2009, 03:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabadger View Post
That is not necessarily true. I belong to possibly the most hierarchical and dogmatic church on earth, and I have only heard pro-AP parenting advice from its representatives.

Actually, I think only a very small number of Christian sects actually take this strict, harsh parenting stand. I am pretty sure the majority take no particular stand on AP or methods of day to day parenting, and its members parent in whatever way is usual in their area. But I have not tried them all, so I could be wrong.
Have to agree here. I am Catholic and as far as I know the Catholic Church hasn't come out with any dogmas about what parenting methods to use. There are many moms at my church that don't share my parenting views, but there are also many moms who I totally see as role models (because they've raised 6 kids gently), but they would have no idea what the term AP is.

So to answer the original question, I don't think you should go to a church that outspokenly promotes anti-AP methods, but most churches aren't like that anyway.
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Old 04-11-2009, 11:19 AM
 
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This is really a very interesting question. My parenting philospophy is constantly evolving, but so far I've been pretty much an APer all the way. With that being said, I attend a very conservative church who does believe in "spare the rod" -although it's not actively preached and taught.

In my experience, the only time I've seen a mother come under fire for her parenting style (a mother who practices AP) was because she has several extremely disobedient children. I mean, totally undisciplined, disrespectful, distruptive kids.

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Old 04-11-2009, 02:29 PM
 
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I go to a Unity church and we very much believe that children are a gift and that they should be celebrated and nurtured. Cherishing our children is a part of everyday consciousness and every church service. At the end of each service, the whole Sunday school group comes out to the front of the church and we sing to them:

Child of God I love you,
You are goodness, you are light,
Child of God you are wonderful,
You are precious in my sight.

I seriously had an emotional breakdown the first time I went to church there, because it was so different from the churches I had been to growing up. One of the books recommended by our ministers is "The 7 Spiritual Laws for Parents," by Deepak Chopra, and it speaks to so much more than not spanking. I've learned so much from the book and from my church about allowing my kids to express their desires without my judgment, and about how beautiful it is to see the world through the eyes of a child. I've learned that when we are angry with a child (or anyone, really), we are not conscious. When we hurt someone or withhold love, we are not conscious.

It is a Christ-based church, but the focus is a lot different than other Christian churches. For example, we don't believe in hell after death. We believe that hell is what you live when you don't have Christ-consciousness, which doesn't mean getting saved or anything like that, and doesn't really have a lot to do with Christ the man. It could be Buddha-consciousness, Allah consciousness, whatever. It's the consciousness that's important.
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Old 04-12-2009, 11:39 PM
 
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Absolutely. In fact my local LLL group (VERY AP) has several devout Catholics. I'm Catholic. The church loves children, and they have a very special place. They're welcome at mass. I believe the Vatican, under Pope JPII actually issued a pro-breastfeeding statement. I don't think the concept of respecting one's parents is anti-AP. It's not being fearful of one's parents. It's respect, and isn't that what gentleness is all about?
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Old 04-14-2009, 09:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by papayapetunia View Post
I go to a Unity church and we very much believe that children are a gift and that they should be celebrated and nurtured. Cherishing our children is a part of everyday consciousness and every church service. At the end of each service, the whole Sunday school group comes out to the front of the church and we sing to them:

Child of God I love you,
You are goodness, you are light,
Child of God you are wonderful,
You are precious in my sight.

I seriously had an emotional breakdown the first time I went to church there, because it was so different from the churches I had been to growing up. One of the books recommended by our ministers is "The 7 Spiritual Laws for Parents," by Deepak Chopra, and it speaks to so much more than not spanking. I've learned so much from the book and from my church about allowing my kids to express their desires without my judgment, and about how beautiful it is to see the world through the eyes of a child. I've learned that when we are angry with a child (or anyone, really), we are not conscious. When we hurt someone or withhold love, we are not conscious.

It is a Christ-based church, but the focus is a lot different than other Christian churches. For example, we don't believe in hell after death. We believe that hell is what you live when you don't have Christ-consciousness, which doesn't mean getting saved or anything like that, and doesn't really have a lot to do with Christ the man. It could be Buddha-consciousness, Allah consciousness, whatever. It's the consciousness that's important.
Hi -I go to a Unity Church as well. I hadn't heard of the Deepak Chopra book but I will look for it.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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Old 04-14-2009, 09:29 PM
 
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There was post on MDC a few years (?) ago where a wonderful mama wrote out a letter to her pastor. He had mentioned spanking in his lesson I believe. The letter , which she posted, was full of bible quotes. It was beautiful and well thought out and it got the pastor thinking. He was responsive.

I saved that post and posted on my myspace. But yes it was full of proof that being AP goes right along with being Christian.
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Old 04-14-2009, 09:49 PM
 
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In our church there are many different styles, but a lot of resepct. I feel quite happy babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, unschooling... and letting my kiddos run wild after the service with the other hooligans! We looked for a long time for a church that "fit" our family, with good kids' programs and a lot of families our age where our kids could fellowship too. I am happy to say we found one, although church to me is an extension of my faith, not the center of it. My faith in Christ would be solid not matter what church we attend or even if we didn't.

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Old 04-15-2009, 01:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momma-molly View Post

In my experience, the only time I've seen a mother come under fire for her parenting style (a mother who practices AP) was because she has several extremely disobedient children. I mean, totally undisciplined, disrespectful, distruptive kids.
Though really, if you're not disciplining your children and teaching them how to be in charge of their own behavior and selves you are not an AP parent, you are a permissive parent. And one thing I HATE is that so many "spare the rod" type of promoters paint AP as permissive parenting (in particular Ezzo). And it is not if done right. AP does not mean you don't discipline and teach your children (as the Bible commands), but rather that you do it in different, more gentle ways WHILE making sure you meet your child's physical and emotional needs. Which, if you read through how Christ taught, seems to go right along with his style. After all, we are promised that our basic needs will be met.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:53 PM
 
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Yes! We are followers of Christ and find that attachment/gentle parenting is actaully a very Biblical way to treat children. For example, when you are gentle and patient with your child you are modeling the fruits of the Spirit. Jesus said what we do to the least of these we do to Him and I take that very seriously!

Our church does not really go along with this, but I am trying to get the word out there. I will not parent differently to please man though because it really is a spiritual conviction for me to parent the way I do.

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Old 04-15-2009, 06:59 PM
 
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yes I think the 2 can coexist, in fact I believe them to go hand in hand with what my faith teaches me. I think a lot of it depends on demographics and the church itself. For instance when we first moved we were looking for a new church to attend. We visited several but 1 really struck us as being a good fit. Now all of them were the same religion but the members and their makeup (i e yound families vs. older members,youth groups, family friendly events/masses) really did make a difference in our comfort level attending church there.
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:25 PM
 
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This is a fabulous blog post on this issue: http://katiekind.wordpress.com/2009/...ian-parenting/

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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Old 11-21-2010, 01:49 PM
 
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I haven't read many of the other posts,  but I found myself in the same positioin,  I want my son to have that same sense of community in the church.  I started taking him the the Unitarian Church.  

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Old 11-21-2010, 03:43 PM
 
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I just wanted to pop on & support the recommendations for Congregational Churches (I have attended two different ones and found tem very supportive of AP) and gentlechristianmothers.com. I definitely think AP & Christianity can go hand in hand. :nod


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Old 11-21-2010, 04:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dulce de leche View Post

 it is because of my convictions as a Christian, not in spite of them, that I practice AP

 

Yes.  This.
 


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Old 11-21-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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You should be able to find a group of believers to meet with.  Where I meet there is no 'church stance' on discipline or breastfeeding.  We all do as how we feel led by the Lord.  The mom's nurse in the meetings, the kids play quietly and we are free to decide how to discipline.  Many of the parents expect their kids to obey them, but I don't see how that should be a problem for others who don't have that expectation.  I think most parents use time outs and some use spanking as a last resort.  But no body has ever told me nor was it said in a message to discipline a certain way. 

 

I think AP has to do with the 7 B's.  Birthing bond, baby wearing, breastfeeding, bedding close to baby, belief in the language value of your baby's cry, beware of baby trainers(feeding and sleeping specifically), balance (your needs and baby's needs).

 

What you seem more concerned with is whether you will be free to use gentle discipline without anyone criticizing you or preaching at you.

 

Pray and ask God to lead you.

 

BTW, I meet with what would be considered a protestant fundamentalist group. 


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Old 12-14-2010, 09:58 PM
 
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