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Old 05-05-2009, 04:05 PM
 
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LM- Great pic!
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Old 05-05-2009, 04:14 PM
 
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Thanks for the mecklace ogling all... that's my "under ten dollars in beads" creation so it's a double happy for me!

Lioness-

Cuteness factor- my dd2 dropped a doll off the couch. She immediately got down, picked it up, looked it in the face and asked "K?". Then she gave it a kiss, lay down with it and while saying "snug'le, baby snug'le", wrapped it's arms around another little toy, and sang it to sleep. Waaaaaaay too cute!

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Old 05-05-2009, 05:16 PM
 
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my mom just emailed me a pic she had taken!

http://s366.photobucket.com/albums/o...ingdayedit.jpg
What a beautiful family! You looked radiant (and I'm loving the cute little sunglasses on your girlie )

Amy, mom to E superhero.gifsince April 2008 and C babyboy.gif since October 2011, wife to P since September 2006.

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Old 05-05-2009, 05:17 PM
 
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Cuteness factor- my dd2 dropped a doll off the couch. She immediately got down, picked it up, looked it in the face and asked "K?". Then she gave it a kiss, lay down with it and while saying "snug'le, baby snug'le", wrapped it's arms around another little toy, and sang it to sleep. Waaaaaaay too cute!
Oh my that is too sweet

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Old 05-05-2009, 05:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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my mom just emailed me a pic she had taken!

http://s366.photobucket.com/albums/o...ingdayedit.jpg
Lovely!

I had my MRI this morning. Wow, it's not easy staying completely still for that long. I kept getting an itchy face and it was torture not being able to scratch it! Plus, my outer thigh was starting to fall asleep.
At one point, I thought I was going to cough. Ugh. Not fun.
I hope something shows up though. I want answers!
I sure wish I could get a full body massage. Every week. giggle.
Now that would be a spiritual experience!

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Old 05-05-2009, 08:02 PM
 
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Cari- in my house no milk or bread could make for a major fit, mainly by the 1 yr old.
Yeah seriously lol. Thankfully we ran out *just* yesterday morning (this child eats only sammiches, yogurt, and spagetti plus the occasional eggy pie when I've been bakign.. that's IT at home) So we went out earlier than planned & got him a nice scone

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Cari- About 3 months left. I am praying we can work things out and that he doesn't end up hating me for going to the FRG who went to his command.
meh, he'll get over it. Mine did.

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goddess jewelry...what about Greenlee? she's an MDC mama. her stuff is to DIE for. so beautiful.
Oh you had to go and mention her didn't ya/
Quote:
cari-- find out if what you have is called a "bible cyst". i don't know the proper name for it. maybe you can google to find out. a bible cyst i had on the top of my foot once, and i found out that you don't need the cortisone shot, but what you can do is vigorously (as in painfully and hard) massage it. it will break up, but it hurts like the dickens. and it probably will keep coming back, but keep massaging it. have someone else do it (DH?). mine came back for awhile, but it hasn't been back in years now.
Hmm.. there's no lump or anything there so how would I tell? It's annoying as hades... I think it has something to do with my shoes as if I wear other than my regular shoes (which I wear like 90% of the time) for a day or two.

Lioness.. you looked radiant hun

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Old 05-05-2009, 09:42 PM
 
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Lioness- What a beautiful family!

Dealing with some phone issues, so I have been grumpy this evening.

I'll be back on when I am in a better mood.

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Old 05-05-2009, 10:01 PM
 
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Lioness-you look so beautiful and happy! Your family is gorgeous! Congrats!

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Originally Posted by saphire View Post
Ambystoma- I'm really starting to get into chakras too. Awensayl & I are talking about doing something regarding chakras at some point in the future.
Will you share your chakra meditations with me please? also- your username intrigues me- what is it?
There are 2 things I have been doing. I found this site on opening the chakras, so I do one a day for 15 mins or so (starting with the root, and continue consecutively each day-you're apparently supposed to make sure the "bottom" is supported best, like a pyramid I guess). Once relaxed and clearing my mind, I concentrate on the color and imagine it opening, as different things: flower, sphere, cone, etc. I also concentrate on the meaning of each and visualize those characteristics coming into my life.

The second: once a week I lay on my back on my "meditation pillow" and imagine each, starting with root and ending with crown. I visualize myself opening and walking through a door leading me to a room/area representing the chakra (ie the heart, which is green, usually ends up being an overgrown forest) and explore the area, repairing anything that is "wrong" with the area. Then I progress to the next door. The Crown I spend the most time on, since it is supposed to be your connection to the spiritual realm, so I tend to commune with the goddess, etc.

So far, I have really liked it. I feel like I am ridding emotional clutter. But I've only been doing it a few weeks, so I don't know if it will continue to be my "usual" meditation or not.

Oh, and Ambystoma is a genus of salamanders. I study amphibians, and they are my favorite salamanders, very friendly-and the name sounds so whimsical and nymph-like to me.

Kara: on a journey with DH, Mama to DS 2/2010
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Old 05-05-2009, 10:06 PM
 
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Well mamas. I am getting divorced. I found out today that my DH is getting R&R. He told me that he was going on a long mission, close to a month *snort* He has a myspace account that I did not know about and an email account I knew nothing about either.

I have taken steps to protect myself financially. I will be filing for legal separation later this week (can't exactly get a divorce with him deployed). Part of me still hopes that we can work things out and that he has just snapped over there. I have moments of feeling extremely strong and other moments I just sob uncontrollably. I have the support of 2 of his family members, so that is a good feeling.

I have no idea what I am going to do. I have not worked in 3 years.

This is so not what is on my TM this year.

Please continue to pray and send positive vibes. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is next month and we just celebrated 4 years together. *sigh* This is freaking hard.

:~*Barbara*~ 25, DGF to an awesome man (25) and always a step-mom to A (8)
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Old 05-05-2009, 10:36 PM
 
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wow Very sorry things seem to be falling apart while he is deployed
Don't have any sage advice at all really

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Old 05-05-2009, 11:53 PM
 
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oh, bella. hugs doesnt quite cover it.
take care of yourself.
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Old 05-06-2009, 12:24 AM
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Oh no Bella. I am so sorry.

Peace- Heather
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Old 05-06-2009, 12:59 AM
 
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Oh well, this is just grand. He's not coming here for R&R, he's going to where he grew up. He's not even going to see his son. The FRG leader told me and I quote "I am not supposed to tell you this but...he's going to blah blah blah."

Its silly that he is going home to his family because most of them are on my side. They think he has lost his mind. They are going to try and talk some sense into him.

I am just praying that we can work this out.

I must be crazy.

:~*Barbara*~ 25, DGF to an awesome man (25) and always a step-mom to A (8)
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Old 05-06-2009, 04:41 AM
 
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Ok, why does MDC log me out when I go to a new page? So tired of logging back in every time.


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My hunny suggested I wear a pretty outfit I bought, but has hung in my closet unworn because it was 'too nice' to wear to do whatever... he said if I wait for the right occasion I'd never wear it, that it made me look & feel great so to wear it. I did... and he was right
What a sweet guy!

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Please keep praying gals, things have gotten worse. I am hoping to make them better though.
I've been thinking about you a lot. Have been through difficult times - crisises really - with DP when we were in different states & it's so hard. Have also delt w/ some of the military stuff too. Here if you need someone to talk to.

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I fantasize about somehow becoming very wealthy. And I throw love in there sometimes, too.
I do that too. I fall asleep fantasizing about winning the lottery.

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Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne View Post
Cari- About 3 months left. I am praying we can work things out and that he doesn't end up hating me for going to the FRG who went to his command.
That's what they're there for. I always hated how the military is involved in all aspects of your life...but there are times when it's nice to have them to turn to.

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my mom just emailed me a pic she had taken!

http://s366.photobucket.com/albums/o...ingdayedit.jpg
Cute family. Love your red hair against the green. Your hubby is a cutie, and I just love your littlest girl! Love the glasses & the purse & the diva look on her face!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
Lovely!
I sure wish I could get a full body massage. Every week. giggle.
Now that would be a spiritual experience!
amen sister!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne View Post
Well mamas. I am getting divorced. I found out today that my DH is getting R&R. He told me that he was going on a long mission, close to a month *snort* He has a myspace account that I did not know about and an email account I knew nothing about either.

I have taken steps to protect myself financially. I will be filing for legal separation later this week (can't exactly get a divorce with him deployed). Part of me still hopes that we can work things out and that he has just snapped over there. I have moments of feeling extremely strong and other moments I just sob uncontrollably. I have the support of 2 of his family members, so that is a good feeling.

I have no idea what I am going to do. I have not worked in 3 years.

This is so not what is on my TM this year.

Please continue to pray and send positive vibes. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. Our 3 year wedding anniversary is next month and we just celebrated 4 years together. *sigh* This is freaking hard.
So sorry! If you need someone to talk to, I've recently done the divorce thing and I've done the long-distance thing, too. Also a military (retired now) family for a couple years. If I can help, let me know. If nothing else, I can let you know what to expect with the divorce. So sorry! Divorce IS hard, but one thing I know for sure, you are going to learn a lot about yourself as you go through this process and you'll come out of it stronger than ever. Best of luck!

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Old 05-06-2009, 09:27 AM
 
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Lm: What a beautiful family you have.

Bella: I am so sorry.

earth.gif lovin, treehugger.gif  veggie

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Old 05-06-2009, 09:29 AM
 
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Morning mamas. It's raining here. Things are looking very green. I still have 2 kids home sick, but tomorrow they will try to go back to school. The homework they are going to have.

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Old 05-06-2009, 10:03 AM
 
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I am such a wimp. gilli asked to stay home and i sure. no reason just didnt want to go (typing one handed)

Bella- *hugs*, just *hugs*

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Old 05-06-2009, 11:02 AM
 
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oh Bella i am so sorry. i hope it works out for you. remember. SHE gives us nothing we cant handle. Grab your inner Goddess.

Me,DH,DS1'95, '98,DSD'03,DD1'07,DD2'09,DS2'12 Living with Fructose Malabsorption Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3-Hypermobility.)o( and sometimes I get toif I am lucky.
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Old 05-06-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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Ugh, I don't know what to do. I got an email from him this morning.

Quote:
quote removed
He leaves for R&R soon, as his once secret myspace says. I emailed him saying he can't leave me hanging for 3 months because I won't do it and that he needed to come home for R&R. Right now I am really worried about his mental state, because of previous emails and a letter.

I just wish I knew when he would be back in the states. I want things to work, but I am still protecting myself. Its not going to work without some serious counseling.

Ugh! I was feeling semi strong yesterday and now I am just confused, trying not to hope too much.

:~*Barbara*~ 25, DGF to an awesome man (25) and always a step-mom to A (8)
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Old 05-06-2009, 12:38 PM
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Bella - this may sound harsh, but I wish I could have heard it when I was in my first marriage. If he stays with you, what do you get out of the situation. You get this man who treats you like this. Not a better man, not a different man, and not the man you fell in love with. You get this man. Although I have no experience w/ military personnel, I know this ain't right for sure.

Peace- Heather
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Old 05-06-2009, 12:43 PM
 
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Bella - this may sound harsh, but I wish I could have heard it when I was in my first marriage. If he stays with you, what do you get out of the situation. You get this man who treats you like this. Not a better man, not a different man, and not the man you fell in love with. You get this man. Although I have no experience w/ military personnel, I know this ain't right for sure.
At this point, I don't know what I will get. He has never acted this crazy before in our entire 4 years. He had anger issues when he came back from the first deployment but, he did counseling and things got better. Even his family says he is not acting right and his brother said "he is a piece of sh** and will always be a piece of sh**." So for him to say that my DH is not acting right, means that something is WAY off.

I am not gonna lie, we have had our problems when he is home too. Its never been anything like this though. This, this is a whole new level of crap.

:~*Barbara*~ 25, DGF to an awesome man (25) and always a step-mom to A (8)
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Old 05-06-2009, 12:45 PM
 
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Hi everyone! I did a test from beliefnet a few weeks ago and it said I was 100% neo-pagan. I just finished reading the idiots guide to Paganism. Very interesting..I had some misconceptions about Paganism and Wicca. I live in SC and its only a couple small Wiccan groups in my area. I'm very shy person and so I probably won't be joining a group anytime soon. Dh is Christian and the kids like going to church with him. The baby stays with me while they go. I'm not sure I'll even be able to do rituals by myself..I think I'd rather have someone doing it with me, yk? I tried to describe Wicca/Paganism to Dh but I'm still new to it so that was hard lol Plus he's from another country..so its hard to come up with the right words that he'll understand. I want to do some more reading on the subject. Can anyone give me recommendations please and any other info? That would be very helpful.

Stephanie + Dh= Super blessed parents to 1 ds, and 4 dds!
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Old 05-06-2009, 02:36 PM
 
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(((BellaLuna)))

Valérie   
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Old 05-06-2009, 02:46 PM
 
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How awful BellaLuna Wishing you strength

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Old 05-06-2009, 02:55 PM
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Hi everyone! I did a test from beliefnet a few weeks ago and it said I was 100% neo-pagan. I just finished reading the idiots guide to Paganism. Very interesting..I had some misconceptions about Paganism and Wicca. I live in SC and its only a couple small Wiccan groups in my area. I'm very shy person and so I probably won't be joining a group anytime soon. Dh is Christian and the kids like going to church with him. The baby stays with me while they go. I'm not sure I'll even be able to do rituals by myself..I think I'd rather have someone doing it with me, yk? I tried to describe Wicca/Paganism to Dh but I'm still new to it so that was hard lol Plus he's from another country..so its hard to come up with the right words that he'll understand. I want to do some more reading on the subject. Can anyone give me recommendations please and any other info? That would be very helpful.
First welcome to the group!
You may want to check the resource thread for good suggestions.

Then go check the camp threads. Be forewarned there is lots of reading there!!

Peace- Heather
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Old 05-06-2009, 03:09 PM
 
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First welcome to the group!
You may want to check the resource thread for good suggestions.

Then go check the camp threads. Be forewarned there is lots of reading there!!


Oh great thanks! Where are the camp threads?

Stephanie + Dh= Super blessed parents to 1 ds, and 4 dds!
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Old 05-06-2009, 03:25 PM
 
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Bella - this may sound harsh, but I wish I could have heard it when I was in my first marriage. If he stays with you, what do you get out of the situation. You get this man who treats you like this. Not a better man, not a different man, and not the man you fell in love with. You get this man. Although I have no experience w/ military personnel, I know this ain't right for sure.
If this was under normal circumstances I might agree with you, but war f*cks you up in was you can't even begin to comprehend.

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At this point, I don't know what I will get. He has never acted this crazy before in our entire 4 years. He had anger issues when he came back from the first deployment but, he did counseling and things got better. Even his family says he is not acting right and his brother said "he is a piece of sh** and will always be a piece of sh**." So for him to say that my DH is not acting right, means that something is WAY off.

I am not gonna lie, we have had our problems when he is home too. Its never been anything like this though. This, this is a whole new level of crap.

Bella, this is soooo hard. I really feel for you. I think it's obvious this war is affecting him, and as sad and difficult as it is, it's also to be expected. This may not be what you want to hear, but I'd urge you not to make any decisions right now. Don't be a doormat, but also try to remember that we have no idea what he's experienced over there. Our soldiers have been asked to do some pretty sh*tty things over there and it really messes with their mental health. I know you know this. I can tell you that divorce is NOT the easy way out. It's tough, even under the best circumstances. Having been through it, I advise my friends to think of it only as a last resort. It's not the easy way out people often think it is. It's even worse when there are kids involved.

I don't know either of you, your history, or what type of person he was, or what type of relationship you had before this war started. I do know from what little information you've posted that he's clearly not well, and because of that not treating you well. You're an easy target. But, he's going through hell right now over there (and I know you are too, and it's so hard when you are so far away and have no control. I know, I've been there). If you can, maybe you could just hold on for now. As hard as it is, give him space if he needs it so he feels safe to come home and eventually get the counseling he so obviously needs (and as I said a month or so ago, might be better served by a civilian counselor) and can start talking. He may never tell you what happened to him over there, but your love and support can really help him once he gets back to deal with it and start healing (that doesn't mean you accept abuse from him). He may never be the person he was before he left, but that doesn't mean you can't work through this and be happy once again. Many soldiers that act out after war because they are ashamed of what they did/saw in the war zone and that they feel like no one can ever understand how it has changed them.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Find activities that make you feel fulfilled. Keep seeking help from the FRG. Maybe you could find other vets/families who have been through similar situations (either from this war, or others in the past. Vietnam vets & their families are often good resources for this sort of thing). Have your own life, so if it does ultimately come to an end, you won't be flailing and feeling quite so lost as you might without that foundation.

Please know I am in no way minimizing your pain or your experience. It sucks! You don't deserve it. So many families fall apart during war. Your sacrifice and your service are just as real and as tramatic as his. When DP retired, his unit made a point of honoring the wives of the retiring soldiers and acknowledging that they, too serve and sacrifice as much as the soldier himself. I was only with DP the last few years of his service, but I get it.

I wish I was there so I could take you out to lunch and give you a big

I hope I haven't offended.

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Old 05-06-2009, 03:31 PM
 
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Bella- i think you should listen to Gun. *hugs*

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Old 05-06-2009, 03:49 PM
 
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Welcome LilMamiBella! There's a lot of reading you can do to learn about what other people perceive Paganism to be, but be sure to ask yourself what it means to you. To me, Paganism involves a deep connection to myself and the Universe. You also don't have to agree with everyone's beliefs. (Just another freedom I love about Paganism!)
Camp threads here:
Winter Solstice camp 2008 http://www.mothering.com/discussions...an+summer+camp
Summer camp 2008 Week 1 http://www.mothering.com/discussions...an+summer+camp
Summer camp week 2 http://www.mothering.com/discussions...an+summer+camp
week 3 http://www.mothering.com/discussions...an+summer+camp
week 4 http://www.mothering.com/discussions...an+summer+camp
week 5 http://www.mothering.com/discussions...an+summer+camp
week 6 http://www.mothering.com/discussions...an+summer+camp

There was a 2007 Summer camp too. But I've already posted an information overload, LOL. We will be doing Pagan Summer Camp 2009 in June:

BellaLuna- I'm so sorry! Is it possible for you to give him the space he's asking for, to complete his mission, then work on the relationship when he can focus on it too? Letting go of control of the situation for a little while could allow you to come back to the relationship with a fresh perspective.


I'm reading Hands of Light by Barbara Brennen right now, and it ties chakras, spiritual bodies, and the law of attraction all together. ( to me anyways) The book's focus is healing through the human energy field, but I'm getting a lot out of it!
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Old 05-06-2009, 04:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jade's Mom View Post
If this was under normal circumstances I might agree with you, but war f*cks you up in was you can't even begin to comprehend.




Bella, this is soooo hard. I really feel for you. I think it's obvious this war is affecting him, and as sad and difficult as it is, it's also to be expected. This may not be what you want to hear, but I'd urge you not to make any decisions right now. Don't be a doormat, but also try to remember that we have no idea what he's experienced over there. Our soldiers have been asked to do some pretty sh*tty things over there and it really messes with their mental health. I know you know this. I can tell you that divorce is NOT the easy way out. It's tough, even under the best circumstances. Having been through it, I advise my friends to think of it only as a last resort. It's not the easy way out people often think it is. It's even worse when there are kids involved.

I don't know either of you, your history, or what type of person he was, or what type of relationship you had before this war started. I do know from what little information you've posted that he's clearly not well, and because of that not treating you well. You're an easy target. But, he's going through hell right now over there (and I know you are too, and it's so hard when you are so far away and have no control. I know, I've been there). If you can, maybe you could just hold on for now. As hard as it is, give him space if he needs it so he feels safe to come home and eventually get the counseling he so obviously needs (and as I said a month or so ago, might be better served by a civilian counselor) and can start talking. He may never tell you what happened to him over there, but your love and support can really help him once he gets back to deal with it and start healing (that doesn't mean you accept abuse from him). He may never be the person he was before he left, but that doesn't mean you can't work through this and be happy once again. Many soldiers that act out after war because they are ashamed of what they did/saw in the war zone and that they feel like no one can ever understand how it has changed them.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Find activities that make you feel fulfilled. Keep seeking help from the FRG. Maybe you could find other vets/families who have been through similar situations (either from this war, or others in the past. Vietnam vets & their families are often good resources for this sort of thing). Have your own life, so if it does ultimately come to an end, you won't be flailing and feeling quite so lost as you might without that foundation.

Please know I am in no way minimizing your pain or your experience. It sucks! You don't deserve it. So many families fall apart during war. Your sacrifice and your service are just as real and as tramatic as his. When DP retired, his unit made a point of honoring the wives of the retiring soldiers and acknowledging that they, too serve and sacrifice as much as the soldier himself. I was only with DP the last few years of his service, but I get it.

I wish I was there so I could take you out to lunch and give you a big

I hope I haven't offended.
Right now, I have the paperwork for a separation filled out as best I can. However, I am holding off to see what happens with his R&R. He most likely isn't coming to see me, he'll be states away. A small part of me hopes that he does come here, so at the very least he can visit with his son. I am hoping being back in the states will calm him a bit and that he will contact me. I may or may not wait until he gets back to Iraq to make a final decision.

I feel deep down that this is related to the war and quite possibly PTSD or a small dose of it. I don't know if I can hang on for 3 months with no contact. I don't think that's fair to me and I deserve an explanation (which I have yet to get other than "I love you but, I am not IN love with you). The way his email sounds combined with 1) a semi paranoid letter, 2) the "I am numb" statements and the 3) the "I can't do this, I can't do this anymore" while sounding depressed in listening to me freak out, makes me think that something happened.

If he had been acting erratic before he left for Iraq than all of this would be a different story. Its beyond hard to talk about things in 20 minute conversations 1-2 times a week at most. I honestly don't know what to say or do because I am in such a state of mass confusion myself. Its so difficult

I am surrounding myself with my family and friends (via phone as most of them I met online). My Mom has been here ever day since Sunday, she came after work yesterday. I had my sister here yesterday and she would hug me when I would loose it, etc. My baby sis told me that I need to stop worrying about him and start worrying about myself.

:~*Barbara*~ 25, DGF to an awesome man (25) and always a step-mom to A (8)
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