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xekomaya 09-03-2009 12:19 AM

Are any of the Traditional Catholic Mamas still around?

I would love to have another thread if we can get one going. Could use some TCM.

And assuming there is anyone out there..

What are you all up to?

Any plans for the Nativity of the BVM on Sept 8th? Any ideas for making it special with kids?

cagnew 09-03-2009 04:26 PM

I'm here. This thread usually has trouble staying up.

We don't have any plans for the 8th. We were invited to "birthday party" to celebrate this, but I don't know if we will go or not. Maybe I will make cupcakes... the 2 year old would like that and it would be a good way to get her to recognize Mary as a real person.

Have you been following the thread on religious studies? I've been posting a lot, but it seems kind of pointless. I hardly ever read that stuff because it upsets me and I always feel obligated to defend the faith... which usually just makes me frsutrated. Oh well.

Gotta go put the bread in the oven!

xekomaya 09-03-2009 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by cagnew View Post
I'm here. This thread usually has trouble staying up
IIRC, it was usually the "big" Catholic thread, no? I thought we just lost our thread keeper for this one, but maybe I'm wrong. Either way, when I get a chance I will edit the first post to remind everyone about the tone and "support-only" nature of the thread.

We don't have any plans for the 8th. We were invited to "birthday party" to celebrate this, but I don't know if we will go or not. Maybe I will make cupcakes... the 2 year old would like that and it would be a good way to get her to recognize Mary as a real person.

Have you been following the thread on religious studies? I've been posting a lot, but it seems kind of pointless. I hardly ever read that stuff because it upsets me and I always feel obligated to defend the faith... which usually just makes me frsutrated. Oh well.

Gotta go put the bread in the oven!
A birthday party sounds like a lot of fun! I do wish we had more people around to do that with.

I have been following the threads and can I just tell you how much I appreciate your posts? It's so frustrating and downright painful to watch people say the things they do. I wish I were more eloquent and could stick around the discussions longer without getting so worked up, but I totally can't. I'm sure its not pointless to post in defense of the Faith. You never know who's reading, now or in the future. And it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one.

I'm cleaning and packing but I'll be back around. We are leaving tomorrow for a wedding in the Bahamas, and when we get back we're moving to Alaska. Teeny bit busy around here

cagnew 09-03-2009 08:50 PM

Wow! I guess you would be busy! I've never been to Alaska or the Bahama's but I have heard both are beautiful. I've been to other areas of the Caribbean and they were gorgeous. I don't think I'll be making any big trips like that for awhile. Too hard and too expensive with little ones.

Have fun at the wedding!

COMamalac 09-03-2009 10:50 PM

I've been here before, but not recently. I'm a Catholic homeschooling mom of six kids, age 5-19. I'm a retired LLL Leader (actively leading from '92 through '01), and now I'm "just a mom" (who homeschools and does whatever else we need to do!).

We used to live in OK, but moved to CO in summer '03. I love it here! We have a small parish, and we're fundraising to build a "real" church (building). We are blessed to have a great homeschool group, as well as just a lot of great families (who use public and private schools in our area).

Nice to be here! Hope to meet some other traditional Catholic moms. I think we'll plan something fun for Mary's nativity, too. Hadn't made plans yet, but it's time to think about it.

God bless,
JoAnn in CO

Ofwait 09-04-2009 12:42 PM

I'm here, I haven't been on much before, a little in the studies section of the forum, but it stresses me out horribly.
Homeschooling mom of 4, ages 8, 6, 4, and 2. Originally from Alaska, currently in the Pacific NW, hoping to go back one day, but visits to the family once a year or so are probably going to have to suffice for now.

We don't have anything beyond Mass and a craft project planned for the 8th.

CherryBomb 09-04-2009 09:59 PM

I'm here. I had left mdc out of frustration quite awhile ago, but I'm expecting baby #4 so I came back for the ddc. I'd love to try a supportive traditional Catholic mamas thread again :

So I guess I'll reintroduce myself! I'm a homeschooling mom of 3 girls, ages 8, 4, and 17 months. Our 4 year old has cerebral palsy and attends developmental preschool and I homeschool our oldest. We lost a baby to ectopic pregnancy in May and I ended up losing fertility from that ovary, so I was surprised to get pregnant so fast! (We abstained 1 cycle and I was pregnant by the 3rd cycle after the loss) So, this pregnancy is bittersweet.

Dh and I converted to the Church together in April 2007. I blog at (I have my 3 part conversion story there!)

springmama 09-04-2009 10:06 PM

I'm in RCIA and just thought I'd pop in and say hello!

CherryBomb 09-04-2009 10:13 PM

Oh and JoAnn, I'm an active LLL Leader :

moonshoes 09-04-2009 11:37 PM

Welcome back, Cherrybomb!!!!:: So glad you are back! Guess what!? I'm expecting in mid-March!!!

Ladies, I never thought DH and I would have such an incredible experience. I've hesitated posting about it here because it is so difficult to put into words, but the Holy Spirit has guided us to an incredible place and we are now entrusted with a new soul. I have been able to feel this baby move from the very beginning of my pregnancy, this is such a different and spiritual experience from anything else I have ever experienced or been blessed with in my life. I am so humbled and awed by everything that is going on in our lives, and I thank the Blessed Mother for her patience and incredible devotion to bringing souls back to her Son.

I promise to tune in to this thread as much as I can, glad you are all here.


BMG580 09-04-2009 11:48 PM

Hello, I suppose I belong here too, if Traditional means "orthodox" and follows the doctrine of the Church, not attendance at a TLM. I also pop in and out of RS discussions, there have been a lot of Catholic related ones lately.

CherryBomb 09-05-2009 09:02 AM

Moonshoes!!!! I was wondering if you were still around! Congratulations on baby #3, that's so wonderful!! It's so wonderful to hear about your experience with the Holy Spirit, praise God!

Charbeau, I remember you I think you were considering converting the last time I was around here. Welcome home!!

cagnew 09-06-2009 12:34 AM

Great to "see" everyone! Congrats to the expecting mama's! I wouldn't mind another one now, but I'm kind of scared. The last one ended up in a c-section and the whole experience was very traumatic. I know my chances of a VBAC are good, but I'm still nervous about it. Oh well. My cycles still haven't started anyway since I'm still bf'ing.

I'm a stay-at-home mom of two- 2 1/2 and 6 months. I plan to homeschool, even though my dh is a public school teacher (choir teacher). He wasn't sold on home schooling until he started teaching I don't know what the school will think when they realize that his kids aren't enrolled there.

springmama: That's great! I'm a cradle Catholic, but dh is a convert as of 2003. His brother followed him to the Church in 2006! Do you have much support in the real world?

char: I think traditional means orthodox The TLM is cool though. I have been learning a lot about it lately and it's pretty amazing.

ofwait: Yeah, MDC can be pretty stressful... especially the RS section lately. I have posted a lot there the last few days but I think it's getting to a point where there isn't anything left to say. I'm not very good at debating....

COMama: My family just returned from a trip to CO and said it was beautiful. I hope to visit someday.

Ds is finally asleep so I better get to bed too. He still wakes up every couple of hours to eat (I guess that's why... I feed him for a few minutes and he goes back to sleep). Dd was always a GREAT sleeper... he's so different. Oh well. I'll get a full nights sleep again someday. Being a mother is a much bigger sacrifice than I could ever have known.

Quick question: For those of you who are moms, how has your life as a mom and wife evolved over time? I am trying so hard to get into a routine and get myself disciplined, but it's so hard. I don't know what I'll do if I'm not organized by the time it's time to home school my dd. Managing bills, cooking, cleaning, and keeping the kids happy can be a bit overwhelming! I try not to think about the lack of "me" time b/c I believe that my life isn't about me anymore... but I still find myself wishing to slip out from to time and get away.

Wow... that question wasn't as quick as I thought it would be

cagnew 09-06-2009 12:38 AM

Katie: I checked out your blog and I love your layout! I didn't get to read much yet, but I will pray for a healthy pregnancy. I have had two m/c and I know how scary a pg after a loss can be. I'm glad all is well so far!

CherryBomb 09-06-2009 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by cagnew View Post

ofwait: Yeah, MDC can be pretty stressful... especially the RS section lately. I have posted a lot there the last few days but I think it's getting to a point where there isn't anything left to say. I'm not very good at debating....

I thought you did fine RS can be an exercise in futility.

CherryBomb 09-06-2009 09:13 AM

Oh and glad you liked the layout! I was so happy to find a place that had free templates, you know if you get it custom made it can cost hundreds of dollars! BOO!

Also, my oldest is 8 and I think I'm in a pretty good routine. I tend to procrastinate and I'm horribly disorganized, so I was nervous about homeschooling, but this is our second year and it's gone really well! I also believe that my duty as a wife and mother takes precedent over "me time" (not a terribly popular way to think these days!), but I do find time to do things that I enjoy, like knitting/crocheting, reading, vegetable gardening and canning, cooking and baking, etc. A lot of my extracurriculars get me out of the house but are still focused on my vocation- being and LLL Leader, for example, and we're part of a great Catholic homeschooing co-op and there's a mothers' meeting once a month. I do think it's important to make time for dh and I to get out without the children. It doesn't happen often, but it's good for our marriage We just go out to a movie or dinner or something.

cagnew 09-06-2009 10:34 AM

I second the dh and me time! It's really important... but, like you said, it's hard to find time (and a babysitter). We aim for once a month, but that doesn't always happen.

Dd got into my nipple cream last night and smeared it all over her face and neck. Good thing it was organic! Anyway, I have to go and try to scrub it off her now. Mass is at 11... that should be enough time

Ofwait 09-06-2009 11:46 AM

LOL Cagnew.. Thats hillarious.

For trying to do date nights, a number of families in my area have been swapping child care. We have 5-6 families that participate... its at our house later today so we, along with two other couples, have the kids for 3 hours while in 2 weeks it will be us who gets to leave the kiddos behind... for 3 whole hours The kids love it too, Date Night is thouroughly exciting.

So we have March, April and May covered... twill be a busy baby spring.
The Holy Sprit has decided to drop a surprise in our laps too, guess, we needed to be brought back to earth.

cagnew 09-06-2009 03:49 PM

Ofwait: Congrats! Y'all are giving me the baby bug

jest 09-06-2009 04:11 PM

I think I belong here, if you mean traditional with a small "t". I attend a novus ordo mass but I'm faithful to the magesterium.

Congrats to the expecting moms!

Cherrybomb, I'm sorry for your loss. I remember that your 3rd was due around the time that my 2nd was due. I used to post here more around that time but I'm not here as often now.

My oldest is 4.5 and I'll start homeschooling next year. I'm looking at my curriculum options now and feeling a little overwhelmed.

I think I'm going to make a cake on Tuesday and have a "birthday party" for the Blessed Mother. I've never done it before but I was thinking it would be a nice way for my kids to honor her. Does anyone else her do anything to "celebrate" the Blessed Mother's birthday?

Also, I'm wondering what kind of behavior expectations you have for your 4 year old during mass. Now that it takes a lot of effort on my part to keep my 18-month old under control, I'm finding that I have little to no patience for any misbehavior on my 4-year-old's part. I waver between thinking that my expectations are too high or my expectations are too low.

cagnew 09-06-2009 07:00 PM

Jest- Mass is HUGE struggle for me. My husband is the assistant choir director, so I usually have to take care of my 2 1/2 yr and 6 month old by myself during Mass. I always make an effort to sit in the church, but I always end up in the cry room (which I really hate) about half way through.

My own personal belief is that once a child turns 3 they should be able to sit during Mass and behave for the most part. This would depend on the child, of course. Dd has some... issues... and so it's a little different for her. We think she might be autistic, but haven't gotten a diagnosis yet (waiting for an appt). She tends to be very explosive over the tiniest thing and that doesn't work out so well during Mass. I don't know how to handle her at this point.

If she was "normal" however, I'd expect her to sit still and be quiet. Maybe bring a saint book or something religious to look at, but that's it. No food, no toys, no "Sunday School" etc. I will do my best to educate them to understand as best they can that Jesus is there.

I never thought that was possible until I moved down here and started attending a church where almost all the little kids behave during the entire Mass (including special services, which can be like 2 hours long!). I couldn't believe it!

I think a lot of it has to do with what is expected of them at home, and what kind of discipline they receive (meaning the consistency, not the actual method). Also, many of these families go to church throughout the week too, so the kids are used to it.

So... unless my kids have a good reason for not being to control themselves, I will expect them to make it through Mass without a problem. If they act up, there will be consequences (although I dn't know what). If I have to go to the dumb cry room b/c of a baby acting up, I will expect the older kids to be still and quiet in there too. It sounds strict, but I think you have to teach them reverence while they are young. Otherwise you end up with teenagers standing in the cry room during Mass texting their friends (did I mention I hate the cry room?) and carrying on a conversation....

JMJ 09-06-2009 07:51 PM

Hey Mammas. I don't have time to read the thread because I'm running out of time at the library. My DD knocked water on my computer, and it's dead, so I'm using the library until I get a new one. I am praying for you all, though. I could use some prayers. My DH and I need some guidance for what to do as far as our parish is concerned. It is very liberal, and we have been fighting hard to keep it/bring it within the bounds of Catholic teaching. We are trying to figure out where God is calling us to be, if we should stay and continue the fight or if we should go someplace where we can be fed too and where our daughter can grow up knowing what Catholic teachings are. My husband is on the parish council, and they're considering some very anti-Catholic things right now. My DD's godfather is the only other person on the parish council standing up for Church teaching, and his term is up. We're very involved, but it doesn't seem to be doing any good. The homily today was in support of an idea that is against my conscience, and we're just having a really hard time. I'm not looking for people to weigh in on what they think our decision should be. I'm asking for prayers. We are trying to be open to whatever God is calling us to do, whether it is to stay and fight or to join another parish.

BMG580 09-06-2009 09:58 PM

As most of you know, my husband did not convert with me and he does not attend Mass with me which is raising all sorts of questions with my 4 year old. Not to mention the fact that we are living with my Buddhist in laws while we build a house, she is so confused and i am sort of at a loss as to how to explain it all to her. So far I've told her that different people have different ideas about how to worship God and that Daddy is still learning about God and isn't ready to go to church just yet. She is in a why, why, why stage (typical for her age) and she is asking so many questions about Jesus and the church liturgy, etc. I've gotten to the point where I don't take anything at all to "entertain" her during Mass, it just makes her behavior worse, almost like she thinks that if there are books - even Christian ones - with us that she is allowed to play.

Because my husband does not attend Mass I've been taking the easy way out and leaving my 19 month old son home with him. It is just constant chasing and tantrums in the narthex when he goes and I am trying to focus on getting DD actively engaged in the Mass and she can't even hear what is going on when he is with us. I will start trying with him again around Christmas, we'll see. (No cry room at our current parish)

I've seen pregnancy announcements from a few of you and well, we are pregnant too and due in January! Baby girl this time around. We used NFP for 3 months and somehow wound up unexpectedly pregnant, right before a huge cross country move. But you know what, it has been really great! I feel better this pregnancy than I have with either of my other ones and I just know this was meant to be. My DH is kicking and screaming about NFP now and is really pushing to have a vasectomy. Advice from you all who have had a similar experience would be very appreciated.

CherryBomb 09-06-2009 10:58 PM

Oh cagnew, that's funny! My two littlest ones got into butter the other day and smeared it into eachother's hair Not as bad as the time they got into vaseline, though!

jest- Another familiar face! So nice to "see" you You're correct, dd3 was born in March 08!

I've been using Catholic Heritage Curricula for homeschooling dd1. I think they're a great choice for small children, orthodox Catholic, affordable, and very gentle!

Regarding mass, I'm a "bad" Catholic mom, I guess. I don't normally take my two youngest to Mass. Dd2 has cerebral palsy and has very poor impulse control and diminished comprehension (she's borderline mentally retarded) so she just does not understand the concept of being quiet or still. She's extremely loud and wants to go up and down the stairs the whole time. She's also extremely sensitive to having her behavior corrected (she breaks down sobbing). Trying to bring her is extremely stressful for us both and I just don't see the point. And she and her little sister together are just at each other all the time (and again, dd2 is extremely sensitive, so if dd3 so much as bumps into her she just loses it and becomes hysterical). If we all go together I end up sitting in the van with the youngest ones (dd3 is fine in the cry room, but dd2 gets hysterical and screams and throws herself against the doors). So! We normally just go to separate Masses. Periodically I take dd2 alone to Saturday evening Mass when it's quieter and there are less people to try and work on her behavior at Mass (she's significantly visually impaired too, which causes her to get very nervous in public since she can't see well enough to know who's around her or what's going on). Today dd2 had spent the night at grandma's so I took dd3 and she did okay, though I had to take her back to the cry room during the Gospel reading (she was done sitting in the pew and wanted to run around).

I try not to feel too bad about it. Taking small children to Mass is a relatively new thing, historically speaking. I remember reading something from St. Therese and she mentioned something that had happened when she was "too young" to attend Mass. So, she didn't go to Mass as a small child and still managed to become a Saint

Regarding my 17 (almost 18) month old though, I don't feel wrong in not bringing her. She's much to young to comprehend anything going on and certainly much too young to sit and be still and quiet for over an hour! I think it's more important that I be able to participate in the Mass than it is for my baby to come!

I would expect a normally functioning 4 year old to be relatively quiet and relatively still. I wouldn't expect perfection. It is very difficult for young children to sit still.

Otherwise you end up with teenagers standing in the cry room during Mass texting their friends (did I mention I hate the cry room?) and carrying on a conversation....
WOW! That's awful. Ours has a few signs up that say quite clearly "this room is ONLY for nursing mothers and parents with SMALL children." Unfortunately at one of the Sunday Masses there's often a woman I really don't care for back there Thankfully she wasn't there today. I don't mean to sound unkind, but she just makes me so stressed out. She's so mean to her little boy, every time he moves or makes a sounds she's smacking him in the face or telling her 7 year old to smack him. It's awful.

JMJ prayers for you!

Charbeau that's tough! And 4 is a tough age for questions about God anyway, I think. It can be hard to explain it in a way that is respectful of our friends and family while also strongly underscoring that the CC is the only Church with the fullness of Truth. I think your explanation was age appropriate.

Regarding NFP, what method are you using and have you been officially taught to use it (like gone through classes)? My personal experience has been that when we're trying to self teach it's not nearly as effective! I use the Creighton model and I LOVE it. It's based off observation of cervical fluid instead of temping (which I hated). I think each meeting with the instructor is $35, which isn't too bad really. My ectopic pregnancy was a shock because according to my chart I should not have conceived- but Creighton does pregnancy evaluation free of charge if you were TTA and together we figured that it was me having a difficult time checking properly in the middle of the night

How does you dh feel about more children? Is he not wanting to have more or just concerned about having them very closely spaced? It can be really hard to get a non-Catholic spouse on board with NFP. How does him having a vasectomy make you feel? If it's something that's very upsetting to you I think it's important to make sure that he understands that it's something that is going to cause a lot of hurt in your marriage. Ultimately though, if he chooses to get a vasectomy without your consent, you're committing no sin in continuing to be intimate with him, if you were concerned about that at all.

cagnew 09-07-2009 02:15 PM

I admit, I jump at the chance to go to church without the little ones. I actually get to hear the homily! It doesn't happen often though.

jmj: you're in our prayers as well.

charbeau: i don't have any advice since i've never had to deal with that, but I'll be praying for you.

we use the creighton method, though we've only used it to get pg so far. once my cycles return, we will use it to avoid for a little while so i can continue to heal from my last pg. after that, games on!

CherryBomb 09-07-2009 11:04 PM

Originally Posted by cagnew View Post
I admit, I jump at the chance to go to church without the little ones. I actually get to hear the homily! It doesn't happen often though.
Exactly! Our cry room doesn't have speakers so once I'm back there it's pretty much over until I see the Communion line forming!

cagnew 09-07-2009 11:52 PM

I forgot to say Congrats to Char! Congrats!

Ofwait 09-09-2009 03:22 PM

We don't even have a Cry room, though churches I have been to that did have them I hated because most of them you can NOT hear in at all, and most people just use them as an excuse to lets the kids run wild.... growl.

We just sit in the back or otherwise near a door, and take the kids out if they make too much noise. Generally they are pretty good, but it has taken time... I only occasionally take the kids with out DH. I try to take them Wednesday morning when our church has a school mass... then we blend in fairly well.. :P

BonnieLynn 09-09-2009 04:48 PM

Hello! I'm a Catholic mom to a beautiful 22m boy and a baby due in 5 weeks. My husband is a graduate student and we just moved so he could start a doctorate program. I've never been so tired in my life and I used to work 24hr shifts at a birthing center ; ) but I'm really enjoying hearing some other Catholic moms talk about their daily struggles it definitely encourages me.

Ofwait 09-09-2009 09:13 PM

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