Modest Mamas... How do you start? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 33 Old 09-24-2009, 09:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This might seem like a very weird question... but how did you guys start the transition to dressing more modest? Right now I mainly dress in trouser/looser fitting jeans and t shirts simply because that is what I have. I am not very comfortable with it... I would rather wear longer tunic tops over my pants or below the knee skirts. As dumb as it sounds I don't want to look less stylish or stick out or something... I dunno if this even makes sense. Just looking for advice!!!

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#2 of 33 Old 09-24-2009, 09:57 PM
 
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Tunic tops are pretty easy to find. I noticed them coming into style a while ago, very long tops with empire-waist styling. By now there are probably a lot in thrift stores.
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#3 of 33 Old 09-24-2009, 10:07 PM
 
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I am a hijabi. I love to layer. I often wear a knee length dress with a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt underneath. I also really like maxi dresses with a long sleeve shirt or a sweater.

I am actually trasitioning back to wearing hijab now, so what I have done is shopped a lot of thrift stores and sales racks. Also, look through your clothes and see what you can add to to make it more modest then go from there.
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#4 of 33 Old 09-25-2009, 05:41 AM
 
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I think it starts with a desire to be modest! And you seem to be right there, at the right place. I dont fuss about clothes tbh, bc in my faith Christ taught not to worry or fret about what to wear. For me it started with a keen awareness that I did NOT want to show my body off. I still wear swimsuits and stuff but feel less and less comfortable. Just not found anything appropriate or affordable yet, so I dont go swimming often. As far as clothes, I wear what I have but it just isnt trashy, no cleavage. I even wear low rider jeans *gasp*, but I have a belt, and wear shirts that cover my butt, yk? I started with a new awareness that my body isnt for showing off, then I moved onto what my God teaches on the subject, then I let Him lead me in what to purchase. Then I dont worry about it much.
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#5 of 33 Old 09-25-2009, 09:52 AM
 
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If you can buy a couple of new things that might help. Start with what you have, and dress as modestly as you can. One by one, as you can afford it/find them, you can replace items that don't work for you. Maybe invest in something that will work with a lot of what you have, like a longer cardigan or sweater to go over your t-shirts now that it's fall.

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#6 of 33 Old 09-25-2009, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys I am hoping to be able to buy a few new things soon.. it is just so hard having nothing to wear that I am truly comfortable in..

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#7 of 33 Old 09-25-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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As an easy transition, it might be easier for the time being to pick up a few crew necked t-shirts in a size too big, so that they're looser, and an open cardigan. I think by getting flowy shirts, avoiding low-cut shirts and making sure shirts are long enough, you avoid being immodest while still being stylish.

Generally speaking, I dress pretty modestly in my day to day life. I'm not perfect with it, I do have some low-cut/short things, but I rarely wear them. When I'm running errands, working and going to school, I much prefer being comfortable and not having to worry about wardrobe malfunctions! Even we young folk are on the modest train these days

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#8 of 33 Old 09-25-2009, 02:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really want some 3/4 sleeve tunic tops... old navy has some that are meant to be dresses that seem like theyd be cute. I wish I could sew!!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#9 of 33 Old 09-25-2009, 10:11 PM
 
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For me, it was a very gradual process. When I bought new clothes, I just chose more modest things... tunics, 3/4 or long sleeves, less transparent, etc. As my wardrobe increased, I just wore more modest things... and either let my less modest stuff be for at home or gave it away to the goodwill.

You can make your current things more modest.... like wearing a long-sleeve close-fitting t-shirt under short-sleeve shirts or topping them with a cardigan or loose shirt. You can add fabric to a large slit in a skirt or even layer a short skirt over a longer one.

You can look stylish and modest... and there are some blogs out there that can help as well. I'm Muslim... so my definition of modest may be more extreme then yours, but I really like Hijab Style.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#10 of 33 Old 09-25-2009, 10:25 PM
 
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If you need ideas, you can always find a local university, look up their Muslim Student's Association and show up at a public event and check out what the university girls are wearing. They tend to be geniuses in wearing trendy stuff off the rack, adjusted for modesty, not usually involving sewing.
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#11 of 33 Old 09-25-2009, 11:41 PM
 
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For me, it was a very gradual process. When I bought new clothes, I just chose more modest things... tunics, 3/4 or long sleeves, less transparent, etc. As my wardrobe increased, I just wore more modest things... and either let my less modest stuff be for at home or gave it away to the goodwill.

You can make your current things more modest.... like wearing a long-sleeve close-fitting t-shirt under short-sleeve shirts or topping them with a cardigan or loose shirt. You can add fabric to a large slit in a skirt or even layer a short skirt over a longer one.

You can look stylish and modest... and there are some blogs out there that can help as well. I'm Muslim... so my definition of modest may be more extreme then yours, but I really like Hijab Style.
Beautiful clothes! I'm not Muslim, but I *love* the hijab. It keeps the ears very warm (I get cold ears very easily) and I like the feeling of privacy and modesty it gives. I like the more modest but stylish choices Islamic style gives as well. Modest Christian clothes tend to be very plain and shapeless.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#12 of 33 Old 09-26-2009, 12:03 AM
 
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Here are a couple of links that show how some ladies I "know".
I dress much the same.
Its simple and does not stand out a huge amount.
http://servenclan.blogspot.com/2009/...-gracious.htmlhttp://asliliessewing.blogspot.com/2...ans-place.html

Paula, wife to Steve, mother hen to 38 , busy doing : TTC after 6
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#13 of 33 Old 09-26-2009, 01:59 AM
 
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I think there are probably a lot of styles in stores right now that would be both stylish and modest with some strategic layering. I would put long sleeve tees or turtlenecks under tops or dresses, layer leggings under skirts or dresses for more coverage, buy a longer length sweater or sweater vest...even styles that are not modest on their own, like a strapy tank top, can be modest and cute when layered over a turtleneck! Black tights are very in this year, so that helps too. Learning to sew a little might help too, as simple tunics and longer skirts are not hard to make.
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#14 of 33 Old 09-26-2009, 02:14 AM
 
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If you're comfortable with 3/4 sleeves, you might have a lot of luck on sale racks right now ... all summer long I was seeing a lot of short-ish 3/4 sleeve dresses that would have made great substitutions for tunic tops ... shirt dresses, wrap dresses, that sort of thing.
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#15 of 33 Old 09-26-2009, 09:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PaulaJoAnne View Post
Here are a couple of links that show how some ladies I "know".
I dress much the same.
Its simple and does not stand out a huge amount.
http://servenclan.blogspot.com/2009/...-gracious.htmlhttp://asliliessewing.blogspot.com/2...ans-place.html

I like the skirt the lady is wearing in that one. Floor length-skirts are great because they provide total coverage yet are cool enough to wear even in the summer months.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#16 of 33 Old 09-27-2009, 04:46 AM
 
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I like long hippie flowey skirts. I suspect much of the time, my dress comes off more as "hippie" than "modest" but it works. T-shirts, long flowy skirts (btw, mid-calf is way easier than ankle, for stairs), and bandanas most days. Plus, I live in Berkeley, so people take me for a hippie. *shrugs* works for me.

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#17 of 33 Old 09-27-2009, 12:00 PM
 
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I totally her outfit.
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#18 of 33 Old 09-27-2009, 12:34 PM
 
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I don't wear dresses all the time, but I do consider myself modest. I have always been, in part because of my religion. I look for longer shirts and am so glad they are in style. When it comes to swim suits I tend to go for tankini's because one pieces fit me odd, I have a very long torso. I also tend to wear board shorts over the bottom. If the shirt feels too low and is a V neck I wear a nice cami underneath. I love the lacy ones! With shorts I tend to go more for capri style. My skirts and dresses go to my knees or just below.

I look at regular stores and choose wisely. That's basically it. It sounds like you know what you're doing though! It just takes time and that's partly why I hate shopping (LOL)!

Mother to a crazy wonderful son born 7-11-09 and A very determined amazing daughter born 5-3-12!
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#19 of 33 Old 10-16-2009, 02:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
This might seem like a very weird question... but how did you guys start the transition to dressing more modest? Right now I mainly dress in trouser/looser fitting jeans and t shirts simply because that is what I have. I am not very comfortable with it... I would rather wear longer tunic tops over my pants or below the knee skirts. As dumb as it sounds I don't want to look less stylish or stick out or something... I dunno if this even makes sense. Just looking for advice!!!
I'm sort of in the same position! When I became pregnant I started dressing more modestly because I felt like I wanted to protect my body (and somehow my baby) from everyone's eyes. Now (8 mos. PP), i'm just not comfortable with my breasts/back/shoulders/legs hanging out for the world to see. These are for me and my husband and my baby!

For me it's not really a religious thing. I do want to set an example for my daughter, and just be ME which these days is a more covered person.

So i'm ...

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#20 of 33 Old 10-17-2009, 01:48 AM
 
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My family and I are starting down the more modest path--not that I have ever worn short things, and when my dd's skirts are at her knees, she is very uncomfortable!! We sat down and went thru the pattern sites on line and found several patterns for long skirts, long sleeve shirts, vests and cardigans made from sweatshirts--with appliques on them that dd is totally thrilled with--and me too! DD is 16 and is naturally modest and has asked for many long skirts. I remember when she was young, skirts, jumpers and dresses were all she would wear and she would wear the stretchy long bike shorts underneath for more modesty--she was 4 and 5 at the time and would pick them out herself! I am uncomfortable showing off my body and dh has expressed that he prefers me in skirts and dresses... so I think my sewing machine is going to be getting a good work out soon!!

Married to my best friend mom to dd (16) , DSS (15) and expecting our LO after 6 years!
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#21 of 33 Old 10-17-2009, 09:52 PM
 
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Layer layer layer. I can always adjust my modesty level depending where I'm going (for example, a v-neck (not plunging just regular v neck) shirt might be fine for hanging out with mama's at playgroup, but I'll wear a lacy cami under it for church or visiting my grandparents. I have a million hoodie type shirts that have huge gaping v necks, and I bought them to put over another lshirt. This works great for modest nursing. Most day's I'm in 3 or 4 layers. Cami, t-shirt or long sleeve knit, hoodie or sweater or, for dressier days, cami, tight black or white or brown t-shirt, pretty silky or gauzy or low neck or strappy (you get the point! ) shirt over top. Layering is in style, and looks so pretty imo because you can buy shirts that are stylish and still feel modest in them.

As for skirts, in the winter skirts look so cute with jeans, and the tops these days are really long (at least for me I'm only 5'2''). Also, I sometimes cruise the bathing suit department and find beautiful short wraps for really cheap (out of season) and tie them around my jeans. The effect is cute and funky and I like it!

I also went on a hat buying spree for my birthday!!! I found a sale that offered 3 hats for $15 and bought 6 cute CUTE cute hats! I'm all set for winter head covering.

I am not crunchy enough for this forum. Everyday I get a little crunchier though! :
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#22 of 33 Old 10-17-2009, 11:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really need to learn how to sew... I might order a few things from online, like a few skirts. Any good websites for cute, fun longer skirts? That don't cost an arm and a leg?

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#23 of 33 Old 10-18-2009, 01:38 AM
 
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I have been thinking about a modest clothing e-store for quite some time! Maybe the time is right to do something serious about it!

Married to my best friend mom to dd (16) , DSS (15) and expecting our LO after 6 years!
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#24 of 33 Old 10-18-2009, 12:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been thinking about a modest clothing e-store for quite some time! Maybe the time is right to do something serious about it!
Definitely!! It is so hit or miss finding things that are stylish and cute but modest, I am 24... I want to dress modestly not like my grandmother!!! I have a found a few decent online sites but still spendy... and I don't really know what to get first. Probably a few skirts? I have a lot of tshirts...

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#25 of 33 Old 10-19-2009, 09:15 PM
 
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I really need to learn how to sew... I might order a few things from online, like a few skirts. Any good websites for cute, fun longer skirts? That don't cost an arm and a leg?
check the "cover-ed girls" thread. we have a lot of links for skirts, tunic tops, etc...
there is one shop, but i can't think of the name right now! as soon as i do, i shall post it.

the shop is called newCreation. i have never purchased from them, but i like the look of their items.

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#26 of 33 Old 10-20-2009, 03:18 PM
 
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You can look stylish and modest... and there are some blogs out there that can help as well. I'm Muslim... so my definition of modest may be more extreme then yours, but I really like Hijab Style.
Loving all of these links! I've transitioned to a modest wardrobe over several years and am finding it much easier lately to come by things I feel comfortable and stylish in since longer tops are in style and skirts are more common. Still drives me crazy trying to find pretty dresses that are covering though!!

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#27 of 33 Old 10-20-2009, 04:46 PM
 
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the shop is called newCreation. i have never purchased from them, but i like the look of their items.
That tweed skirt I had bought from them is very, very nice.
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#28 of 33 Old 10-20-2009, 07:27 PM
 
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That tweed skirt I had bought from them is very, very nice.
I remember you saying that. I am saving up some money to place an order.
It is so hard to find nice long skirts where I am. Salvation Army and Goodwill aren't helping me acquire new pieces, either.

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#29 of 33 Old 10-20-2009, 08:37 PM
 
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I remember you saying that. I am saving up some money to place an order.
It is so hard to find nice long skirts where I am. Salvation Army and Goodwill aren't helping me acquire new pieces, either.
I didn't know I was being repetitive, sorry. The material actually looks a lot like my grandmother's couch fabric. But it's not like that's the fault of the maker ... I mean tweed is tweed, what can ya do.

I've been looking for sewing patterns I like, skirts being so simple and all, but I must admit that I'm finding that pattern makers don't do vanity sizing to be a little depressing. "You mean I'm really WHAT size???"
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#30 of 33 Old 10-20-2009, 10:41 PM
 
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I didn't know I was being repetitive, sorry. The material actually looks a lot like my grandmother's couch fabric. But it's not like that's the fault of the maker ... I mean tweed is tweed, what can ya do.

I've been looking for sewing patterns I like, skirts being so simple and all, but I must admit that I'm finding that pattern makers don't do vanity sizing to be a little depressing. "You mean I'm really WHAT size???"
You weren't repeating. That was more of a "oh yeah... you did mention that!"
As for vanity sizing... my theory is that if i make it myself, there is no size tag in it for people to know what size it is

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