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#211 of 227 Old 12-03-2010, 06:01 PM
 
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Assalamu Alaikum:

 

I'm also on an Arabic Learning Yahoo Group and these two sites were both recommended.

 

http://quraaniclessons.com/   

 

http://quranicarabic.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

As far as I know, both are free. :)


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#212 of 227 Old 12-08-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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umsami & jo, thanks for your feedback and suggestions.  the pimsleur course is available through my library, and i will give it a try.  getting my ear used to the language, and using the time in the car for something other than complaining about traffic are two goals here.  at home i have a Qur'an recitation cd and book with transliteration ( and amazing gift i received); i find having the words in front of me makes a big difference.  but again, i wanted something in the car, and something in addition to Qur'an.

 

lately wrestling a bit:  feeling that, for me, to wear a headscarf outside of prayer feels like vanity—i think it looks so beautiful, and i like how it makes me feel.  but these are not reasons to cover....it is like putting my impatient, crabby self in a disguise of the self that has some degree of taqwa.  i do not want to be perceived as more observant/devout than i actually am.  i have no clarity on this, but needed to share.

 

salaams and thanks


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#213 of 227 Old 12-08-2010, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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lately wrestling a bit:  feeling that, for me, to wear a headscarf outside of prayer feels like vanity—i think it looks so beautiful, and i like how it makes me feel.  but these are not reasons to cover


I disagree with this, really.  But I am not big on considering clothes in any great higher, spiritual sense ... for me a person wearing what pleases them to wear is an excellent reason for their choices of dress.

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#214 of 227 Old 12-09-2010, 01:08 AM
 
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Hi, 

I wasn't sure if I should start another thread or just ask here... so I'm just asking here... 

My 3yo DS is in preschool this year, and they have been doing a lot of Christmas activities, (songs, decorations, getting a tree for the classroom). I am completely fine with all of this. Living in Canada, I know Christmas is big here and it is going to be everywhere. But he is so excited about Christmas, and loves seeing lights and xmas trees, and says "i love christmas" I don't have a problem with this really, I just feel bad that he's so excited about it, but we don't even celebrate it. Just wondering what do you all do when your little ones get excited for xmas? What do you tell them? How do you make up for them "missing out" on the fun? 

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#215 of 227 Old 12-09-2010, 10:16 AM
 
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kangamitroo,

I understand how you feel about the headscarf. Sometimes it can make a person look elegant, or pretty, or feel good. Instead of feeling negative about this, how about trying to see the hikma (wisdom) in why God made it feel this way? I think that feeling elegant/beautiful and liking how the scarf makes you feel is a gift from God. I think it is one of the ways He has honored Muslim women. There is no shame in this at all, in my opinion. If putting on a headscarf made you feel crabby and ugly....there may be a lot less people that wear it. This phenomenon is seen in some societies where women are forced to wear a certain style/color of covering....those who dont like that style often want to act out against it (Iranian revolution). So I say embrace feeling beautiful. In fact, there is a Prophetic dua saying "Allah you made my outside beautiful, so make my inside beautiful." What a positive dua -- recognizing that God has made outer beauty inspires inner beauty. Also, it is my understanding that in Islam you should wear the best clothes you have, as a sign of gratitude for what God has blessed you with.

 

If you are feeling more like you are just bothered by the hijab, or considering taking it off, I totally understand. Lots of people go through a feeling like this. I personally think it is a test, or just a normal phase/feeling.

 

I hope this helped! hijab.gif and for what its worth....i usually have the opposite problem hehe.....I never have time to make my hijab look pretty...I just wrap it around my head real quick before I leave!! hehehehe


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#216 of 227 Old 12-09-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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I struggle with covering myself. Have for years. My biggest obstacles was/is probably my mother and extended family on her side, who should all probably just keep their feet in their mouths, and so I know that's a lame obstacle. If I were a nun and wore a habit, surely my mom would be proud. I covered for a year and took it off around the time dd was constantly pulling it off, and that coincided with when I got my job. So now here I am in a job...and while all my clothes (workout clothes less so but even they are more modest than "normal" folk) are Islam-compliant (Western-styled abaya/dresses a la Silk Route and Shukr, mostly and some long tunic tops with khakis) and I even wear a scarf with them, just not on my head eyesroll.gif...I haven't found the personal strength to make the step. I have this other problem, that I develop a tinea rash on my body in the humidity, and when I cover, the fungus creeps all over my body, even onto my face. It's prickly and itchy and kinda gross, and I have not been able to cure it completely, but I don't get it as bad when my neck is free.

 

I want to, and I am thinking 1432/2011 is going to be my year. I'll find a solution. Insha-Allah.

 

Also, my dh is investigating the possibility of being moved to the Gulf region for work. It's still a remote-ish possibility, and of all the places there, it's probably one of the less desirable places to me. But if we end up making the move, all my problems with scarves are moot.

 

And I'm with YSM on the point. In addition to feeling like I look more beautiful in a scarf (and I do), I really do feel like it works as a reminder for me. Like I'm more likely to have good manners wearing it, because I'm conscious of representing Islam, especially to non-Muslims.

 

I want to talk with dh about it, and I need him to be in the right frame of my to discuss supportively, and then it's a conversation with my boss, and then probably HR guy...and then I guess I just start showing up in a scarf, and family can like it or not. I know my boss will be supportive, I know dh will love the idea, I just am uncertain about the words and actions needed to cross the bridge.

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#217 of 227 Old 12-10-2010, 12:32 PM
 
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I'd never heard of Silk Route....just looked them up! Love the clothes! :)


Mothering my sweet preschool boy luxlove.gif and my new arrival bfinfant.gif

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#218 of 227 Old 12-11-2010, 08:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mommy22boys View Post

Hi, 

I wasn't sure if I should start another thread or just ask here... so I'm just asking here... 

My 3yo DS is in preschool this year, and they have been doing a lot of Christmas activities, (songs, decorations, getting a tree for the classroom). I am completely fine with all of this. Living in Canada, I know Christmas is big here and it is going to be everywhere. But he is so excited about Christmas, and loves seeing lights and xmas trees, and says "i love christmas" I don't have a problem with this really, I just feel bad that he's so excited about it, but we don't even celebrate it. Just wondering what do you all do when your little ones get excited for xmas? What do you tell them? How do you make up for them "missing out" on the fun? 


Assalamu Alaikum:

I know. :)  It's made worse in my world because I'm a revert, and my family all celebrates Christmas.  So the grandparents send Christmas presents, etc. It was easier when Eid and Christmas were closer...because it seemed like everything was part of the celebration.  

 

I don't mind my kids getting excited at this stage. I can't help it really.  But what I've really been working on is making sure that our Eids and Ramadan are just as exciting (well, as exciting as I can make them.)  I also tell my kids that I love the Christmas decorations... and I love how everybody is nicer, and happier...and then talk about how Prophet Muhammad and Prophet Jesus (peace be upon them both) both talked about wishing for your neighbor what you want for yourself, etc.  As they're getting older, we talk about how Muslims view Jesus differently, but still love him just as much.  Now... the problem comes with Santa. LOL  My son received oranges and chocolates from St. Nicholas in his class--so we talked about him (the man).  St. Nicholas was supposed to have fasted on Wednesdays and Fridays... so we talk about fasting on Mondays and Thursdays.  His parents died and he was raised by an Uncle...so we talk about Prophet Muhammad.  As they're older, we can talk about his helping the girls with their dowries..and how in Islam, girls recieve the mahr. :)   For Santa, basically I've just said yes, Santa's a nice guy. We also talk about how Allah(swt) would view somebody who brings happiness to so many people--and what a good thing that is.   I'm not going in to it too much as many of their classmates believe in Santa, and I don't want to be the one to ruin that.  

 

We allow them to celebrate with their class. If we're supposed to bring in cookies or whatever, we do.  Sometimes I make an Arabic cookie, sometimes not.  I also don't care that they colored in dreidels for Hanukkah.  But, we don't put up a Christmas tree at home.  :)  Nor do we have a Menorrah.  We've talked a little about Winters Solstice as the shortest day of the year and the position of the Earth and all.  We have a Waldorf-y book called, "Sun Bread," which is a good read.

 

Sorry I don't have any better advice.  


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#219 of 227 Old 12-13-2010, 09:53 AM
 
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Quote:
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Hi, 

I wasn't sure if I should start another thread or just ask here... so I'm just asking here... 

My 3yo DS is in preschool this year, and they have been doing a lot of Christmas activities, (songs, decorations, getting a tree for the classroom). I am completely fine with all of this. Living in Canada, I know Christmas is big here and it is going to be everywhere. But he is so excited about Christmas, and loves seeing lights and xmas trees, and says "i love christmas" I don't have a problem with this really, I just feel bad that he's so excited about it, but we don't even celebrate it. Just wondering what do you all do when your little ones get excited for xmas? What do you tell them? How do you make up for them "missing out" on the fun? 


Assalamu Alaikum:

I know. :)  It's made worse in my world because I'm a revert, and my family all celebrates Christmas.  So the grandparents send Christmas presents, etc. It was easier when Eid and Christmas were closer...because it seemed like everything was part of the celebration.  

 

I don't mind my kids getting excited at this stage. I can't help it really.  But what I've really been working on is making sure that our Eids and Ramadan are just as exciting (well, as exciting as I can make them.)  I also tell my kids that I love the Christmas decorations... and I love how everybody is nicer, and happier...and then talk about how Prophet Muhammad and Prophet Jesus (peace be upon them both) both talked about wishing for your neighbor what you want for yourself, etc.  As they're getting older, we talk about how Muslims view Jesus differently, but still love him just as much.  Now... the problem comes with Santa. LOL  My son received oranges and chocolates from St. Nicholas in his class--so we talked about him (the man).  St. Nicholas was supposed to have fasted on Wednesdays and Fridays... so we talk about fasting on Mondays and Thursdays.  His parents died and he was raised by an Uncle...so we talk about Prophet Muhammad.  As they're older, we can talk about his helping the girls with their dowries..and how in Islam, girls recieve the mahr. :)   For Santa, basically I've just said yes, Santa's a nice guy. We also talk about how Allah(swt) would view somebody who brings happiness to so many people--and what a good thing that is.   I'm not going in to it too much as many of their classmates believe in Santa, and I don't want to be the one to ruin that.  

 

We allow them to celebrate with their class. If we're supposed to bring in cookies or whatever, we do.  Sometimes I make an Arabic cookie, sometimes not.  I also don't care that they colored in dreidels for Hanukkah.  But, we don't put up a Christmas tree at home.  :)  Nor do we have a Menorrah.  We've talked a little about Winters Solstice as the shortest day of the year and the position of the Earth and all.  We have a Waldorf-y book called, "Sun Bread," which is a good read.

 

Sorry I don't have any better advice.  


Thanks for the reply. :) No that was great advice. I guess there's not much we can do about them missing out except make Eid really special and fun so they know they have something to look forward to at home too. I like what you teach them about Xmas, my DS is still a bit young but those are great things to teach him when is old enough to understand. 

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#220 of 227 Old 12-13-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kangamitroo View Post

lately wrestling a bit:  feeling that, for me, to wear a headscarf outside of prayer feels like vanity—i think it looks so beautiful, and i like how it makes me feel.  but these are not reasons to cover


I disagree with this, really.  But I am not big on considering clothes in any great higher, spiritual sense ... for me a person wearing what pleases them to wear is an excellent reason for their choices of dress.

 

on many days, i am right there with you.  perhaps because this process (of coming to religion, and all that is related to that) still feels very new to me.  that and all of my family and any friends outside the masjid have a very different idea of what looks beautiful.  i have struggled with that over the years in various ways.  it should by now, when i am in my (ahem) 30s, be a non-issue—it is embarrassing to think family/peer pressure can still be so strong.

 

my (nonreligious) dh teases me good naturedly and tells me the scarf is cute.  he is not exactly sure what to make of it, but wants me to be happy.  however, around totally nonreligious friends i have not felt comfortable to wear a scarf—because even if i wore a scarf because i think its beautiful, for nonreligious friends it is perceived as part of my religiosity, and that makes me squirm.  maybe i need to just do it, get it over with, let it become no big deal.

 

that said, clearly all of my overthinking complicates things unnecessarily.  i remember taking a scarf from around my neck, making a loose headband out of it—i loved this for years, even before immersing myself in this faith.  i think i have self-consciousness, because to dress a certain way in the US does give a public religious identity, to an extent.  to say i just like the clothes....that feels like only part of the story.

 

Jo, your story makes sense to me and is a good reminder hat this all an unfolding.  also, i tend to take things too seriously, and need to lighten up on myself!

 

YSM, thanks for your comments.  i understand what you mean, that feeling beautiful when covered is a kind of gift and baraka.
 

tomorrow i can pick up my Arabic cds from the library inshaAllah.  than you all again for the support and friendship here. salaams.


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#221 of 227 Old 12-14-2010, 01:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
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lately wrestling a bit:  feeling that, for me, to wear a headscarf outside of prayer feels like vanity—i think it looks so beautiful, and i like how it makes me feel.  but these are not reasons to cover


I disagree with this, really.  But I am not big on considering clothes in any great higher, spiritual sense ... for me a person wearing what pleases them to wear is an excellent reason for their choices of dress.

 

on many days, i am right there with you.  perhaps because this process (of coming to religion, and all that is related to that) still feels very new to me.  that and all of my family and any friends outside the masjid have a very different idea of what looks beautiful.  i have struggled with that over the years in various ways.  it should by now, when i am in my (ahem) 30s, be a non-issue—it is embarrassing to think family/peer pressure can still be so strong.

 

my (nonreligious) dh teases me good naturedly and tells me the scarf is cute.  he is not exactly sure what to make of it, but wants me to be happy.  however, around totally nonreligious friends i have not felt comfortable to wear a scarf—because even if i wore a scarf because i think its beautiful, for nonreligious friends it is perceived as part of my religiosity, and that makes me squirm.  maybe i need to just do it, get it over with, let it become no big deal.

 

that said, clearly all of my overthinking complicates things unnecessarily.  i remember taking a scarf from around my neck, making a loose headband out of it—i loved this for years, even before immersing myself in this faith.  i think i have self-consciousness, because to dress a certain way in the US does give a public religious identity, to an extent.  to say i just like the clothes....that feels like only part of the story.

 

Jo, your story makes sense to me and is a good reminder hat this all an unfolding.  also, i tend to take things too seriously, and need to lighten up on myself!

 

YSM, thanks for your comments.  i understand what you mean, that feeling beautiful when covered is a kind of gift and baraka.
 

tomorrow i can pick up my Arabic cds from the library inshaAllah.  than you all again for the support and friendship here. salaams.



I do understand ... I mean, I keep hanging on this pendulum that has gone from boho chic to all-black ninjette niqabi to at the moment bordering on all the way back to boho chic, covering various shades in between, and while some of that is me just doing what I want to do, an awful lot of it is tied up in how I want to be perceived in particular times/places/circumstances.

 

Since I don't proselytize for religious dress, but I'm generally all too happy to proselytize for feeling good about one's appearance, may I suggest that a lot of more bun-style and other "up-do" headwraps tend to be read in a less religious (and generally entirely non-Islamic) light, and therefore might work without quite the same discomfort?  Because they don't read as "hey, look, Muslim woman, right here!" they also tend to be a little more comfortable to wear one day and skip the next ... there's not that sense of having committed to a thing attached.

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#222 of 227 Old 12-19-2010, 09:41 AM
 
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Since I don't proselytize for religious dress, but I'm generally all too happy to proselytize for feeling good about one's appearance, may I suggest that a lot of more bun-style and other "up-do" headwraps tend to be read in a less religious (and generally entirely non-Islamic) light, and therefore might work without quite the same discomfort?  Because they don't read as "hey, look, Muslim woman, right here!" they also tend to be a little more comfortable to wear one day and skip the next ... there's not that sense of having committed to a thing attached.


thank you for this very sensible and clever suggestion, liquesce.


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#223 of 227 Old 12-31-2010, 08:37 PM
 
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happy new year, mamas.  may each of you find much joy in 2011 inshallah.

 

my resolution is to make fajr on time each day in January.  if i can do it for the whole month, maybe i'll make it for the whole year?


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#224 of 227 Old 01-03-2011, 06:34 AM
 
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Salamu Alaykum and Happy New Year, Sisters. love.gif

 

kanga, I like your resolution. I am looking at potentially huge changes ahead for my family...and if not, then likely there will be a series of smaller changes, but either way I think we are, as a family, going to make some changes in our direction toward long-term goals. Because it is nothing but uncertainty right now, I am just trying to accept life as it comes and be calm and accepting, so that I can be the example for my children. Life is an adventure and I married a nomad, so who knows where we'll end up, or if we'll even end up anywhere at all? So I am trying to focus on ensuring good physical health, a tranquil household and peaceful, effective communication within our home.

 

And also stay engaged in dhikr throughout my days, and stay connected to the spiritual expression of my faith.

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#225 of 227 Old 01-03-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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Assalamu Alaikum Mamas:

 

Happy New Year :)

  

 

Should we start a new thread for 2011?

 

I'm hoping that as a family we can spend 5 minutes per day memorizing *or* talking about Qur'an.  Originally, I wanted 5 minutes of each, but I've decided that doing either or would still be good for our family.  

 

I like your plan for fajr Kanga.  It's much easier in the winter too. :)   I seem to remember a quote from a Sufi source (maybe Rumi) about the power of praying fajr on time for 40 days.  


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happy new year, mamas.  may each of you find much joy in 2011 inshallah.

 

my resolution is to make fajr on time each day in January.  if i can do it for the whole month, maybe i'll make it for the whole year?


I love this! Can I steal it?

 

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 So I am trying to focus on ensuring good physical health, a tranquil household and peaceful, effective communication within our home.

And also stay engaged in dhikr throughout my days, and stay connected to the spiritual expression of my faith.


I also love this. Just the image of good physical health plus a peaceful household makes me feel serene! I, too, am trying to do more dhikr.

 

Another quick thing that we could all try to do is make wudu/have wudu before we go to bed. There is a hadith about this -- that the angels stroke your hair and pray for you while you are asleep if you have wudu. I also believe that your soul can have dreams that are much more in touch with God if your body has wudu.

 

Wishing you all a year filled with baraka and rahma.

 


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#227 of 227 Old 01-05-2011, 06:03 PM
 
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Assalamu Alaikum Mamas:

 

I started a 2011 thread for us at http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1289602/muslim-mamas-2011#post_16163631

 

Inspired by Kanga's goal of praying fajr, I posted the question on what your goals for your deen were for 2011.

 

:)


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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