I am so hurt (sorry for being a Catholic) - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-31-2009, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A little vent- and asking for guidance here.
I have, on more than one occasion, been segregated, ignored, insulted, belittled and demeaned in so many places for being a Catholic.
I love my family, my friends, my religion and all that comes with it, and understand it is a choice I have made, but that doesn't mean someone can insult me.
I homeschool my kids, and teach them all about other religions, about different cultures, beliefs and NEVER say they are wrong, but that they believe differently than we do Free will. I never scoff at Judaism, or Buddhism, single out a non-christian and slap them in the face for not believing what I believe.
Sure my religion asks that I do good works to reflect an image of God- but God loves everyone, even if they don't believe, He does.
So why am I subject to this onslaught from friends, family and even strangers about my belief?
I don't get it.
For example, someone close to me said " the last time a German was in power, look what happened." regarding the new Pope. Right in front of me!
I wanted to throw up.
Or I was told that I am not a "real" Catholic so I can't pull the "religious exemption card" out if I choose not to vax, or public school, or whatever.
What is that all about? Is there a test to check if I am a Catholic?
I am so sad, and want to be happy- but am just so hurt and right now I am in no way emotionally capable to verbally combat this assault (not that I think I should)
any thoughts?
thanks for listening.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 12-31-2009, 10:33 PM
 
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I can understand (well, not really...but sort of) strangers acting that way... but for friends and family, it's simply unacceptable IMHO. I know that when I converted to Islam pre-9/11... most of my friends/family didn't say much.... but after 9/11... oh boy. Some people can be very very tacky. I was surprised at some of the conversations I had to have.. like reminding a family member who was bashing all Muslims that my children whom they loved very much were being raised as Muslims... should they all leave this country too? Etc. Still, on the other hand, I was also pleasantly surprised by the tolerance some people showed as well.

I'm not sure why you're getting a lot of comments now? Nothing in the news comes to mind other than the recent court cases linked to schools in Ireland.... and that's not on many American's radar. Personally, although some people in the Catholic church have disgraced it (similar to some in the Muslim faith)... I can't help but think about how much the Church has given us in terms of art, education, beauty, good works, etc. Even today, Catholic charities do so much to help people of all faiths in a wide variety of countries.

I know that when people sometimes make some disparaging results about Muslims, I may remind them that while Muslim surgeons were doing surgery with anesthesia, us in the West were afraid to bathe more than annually. Or that it was the Muslims in Spain that protected so much of the knowledge during the dark ages, etc. Or mention Mohammed Yunus, who won the Nobel Peace Prize for micro-finance.

As for comments on Pope Benedict... I have to hope that it was just sadness over losing Pope JPII. He was Pope for quite a long time... and so well-loved. Of course, some people are bigots too. You could always say... well JPII loved him and thought highly of him... and so did his fellow Cardinals to elect him Pope... so I really don't see how your religious insight would be greater than any of them?

As for you're not being a real Catholic, that's really strange. As far as I know, if you were confirmed, and have never been ex-communicated, you're considered Catholic. And even if that criteria doesn't fit, IMHO, if you consider yourself Catholic, well then, God probably does too.

It's tough. I'm sorry, I have nothing better to say. You might want to hook up with other Catholic Mamas here on MDC... or see if you can find some homeschooling Catholic Mamas in your area (even start your own group). IMHO, having a support group.. .even if it's just one other person... helps immensely.

May 2010 be a better year for you.... and may God increase your faith and give you strength to endure people who are mean to you.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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Old 12-31-2009, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Usami-
I have a large family, and not everyone is Catholic. We were all together for the holidays.
That's why now.
Thanks for your post and kind words. All I can do is pray for those who hate.

Be well
amyjean

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 12-31-2009, 11:13 PM
 
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I know how you feel.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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Old 12-31-2009, 11:27 PM
 
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Catholic homeschooling mom of 5 here, I *get* what you are saying! I've heard it said that Catholic-bashing is the only "acceptable" intolerance these days. I try to remember that even Jesus was persecuted. It still hurts though, I know. I try to hang out on a Catholic homeschooling message board where I remember just WHY I am doing all this. Here's a bunch of Catholic for you, lol. And many hugs.

Amy
Mom of 5 under 13
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Old 01-01-2010, 03:32 AM
 
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Catholic homeschooling mom of 4 soon to be 5... I know exactly how you feel. Yes Catholic bashing is about the same as white male bashing.... all perfectly okay in our "PC" world. It is very sad, and I was actually just talking to my Priest about it recently.
The persecution we face today is no better than what we experienced under Diolcletian ( one of the Roman emperors well known for feeding Christians to the lions), it just takes different forms.

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Old 01-01-2010, 05:08 AM
 
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I agree with all the other Catholic mamas here....I get the same thing from my own family who is not Catholic on either side (Both DH and I converted much to their horror and disbelief). So yeah I totally get what you mean. I also hate it when other Catholics put me down for keeping with tradition or not caving to social norms (like birth control)...that's when comments are the worst.

However, I am very fortunate to live in a community where the large majority of us are Catholic, so the pressures aren't as bad as if I was the only one living say in a community where there is little or no religion, or even in the South (where I came from BEFORE I converted) and had to live with open hostility against being Catholic.

I just have faith that God sees me everyday. All I can be is a light, a good example so that other people will see what it is all about. I try to follow the examples of the saints to be a good mother, and a good wife....keeping my own council and doing my duty. I guess that is really all you can do....like I said God sees you and knows what is in your heart.

 

 

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Old 01-01-2010, 01:36 PM
 
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Old 01-01-2010, 01:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by amyjeans View Post
For example, someone close to me said " the last time a German was in power, look what happened." regarding the new Pope. Right in front of me!
I wanted to throw up.
Well, I think that you can write this idiot off without giving it too much thought. Unless he's talking about Pope Stephen IX (who was the last
  1. German pope... in the 11th century), I can only assume that's a Hitler reference. Which means:
  2. She managed to Godwin herself, and thus fails.
  3. Since when does the Pope have an army to invade other countries with anyway?
  4. Does she think that Germany hasn't had elected officials since 1945? I think there have been a lot of Germans in various degrees of power in the past 60 years.

So I wouldn't bother too much about someone that dumb.

Trying to live a simple life in a messy house in a complicated world with : DH, DD (b. 07/07), DS (b. 02/09), and DD (b. 10/10)
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Old 01-01-2010, 09:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lach View Post
So I wouldn't bother too much about someone that dumb.
That's essentially my thought. Like many, I've witnessed boldfaced Catholic bashing as well as all sorts of other rude non-Catholic comments (religious and non-religious). It's not worth your energy to get upset about stupidity. Sometimes it is worthwhile to defend your values but when we're talking rigid stupidity, I think the best reaction is none at all.
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Old 01-01-2010, 09:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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that you all so so much! I'm glad I'm not alone.

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
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Old 01-02-2010, 02:03 AM
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Amy, I totally understand. You are not alone. The worst is when the rude comment comes from a fellow Catholic.

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
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Old 01-02-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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I just wanted to let you know that I will be in for it when my family finds out that I am converting. I grew up with Catholic bashing in my protestant family so I'm sure that I will be being talked about quite bit behind my back and who knows what they will say to me.

It is the hardest for me to get grief from former Catholics especially when they have their info wrong. I don't feel that I am quite in the place to defend the faith against someone who is so against it so I try to keep quiet. You are not alone, you have a family in the Church and the Lord always sees what is in your heart!
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Old 01-03-2010, 03:29 AM
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Oh, boy do I know what you mean. My favorite was someone who thought that the Pope had 666 on his mitre . There is all sorts of misconception out there about what the Church actually is and believes. I find that a lot of it has been renewed since the sex abuse scandals, but it has always been there for me. Part of growing up a minority in my region of the US.

Just ignore the comments and continue to pray that those people find the peace that can allow them to let go of their hatred.
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Old 01-03-2010, 06:41 PM
 
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I soooooo know what you're saying! I live in a very progressive-minded city that doesn't "do" Christianity at all and it is very hard to just hold my head up and say I'm a Catholic without getting all the priest jokes and Nazi comments and how the Church is so jerky and exclusive, yadayada. Sure, everyone showed up for my Catholic wedding (DH is so wonderful for this, but he will not ever, ever, ever go to church, not in a million years, if it doesn't involve a funeral or a wedding) but one evening there were jokes about Jesus on the Cross and I spoke up about how tasteless it is to make fun of someone who did nothing but good, and then was killed like that, regardless of the religious aspect, that I didn't get the joke---they all looked at me like I was going to start snake charming or speaking in tongues and were terrified I'd start proseletyzing, and I was marginalized that evening, even by my own DH. The lack of support was just too much and I admit, I eventually just sorta gave up and stopped going to Mass, everything. I grew up Catholic but my entire family pretty much thinks it's a joke and I feel so very uncomfortable about the whole thing when all I want to do is just belong to a spiritual community, and to raise my DS in it. It's been a big heartache of my life.
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