I am beyond annoyed - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 08:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hopefully this shows up as English so people can read it.

My church- who can't call me when I went blind and was in the hospital waiting to see if I had MS and getting heavy doses of steorids 4 hours a day via an IV- who can't call me when my husband was arrested for domestic violence against said blind wife- and who can't call when I had to pack up all of my belongings and move in to my parent's attic the week after having carpal tunnel surgery *this all happened in the course of 5 weeks, BTW- had the AUDACITY to send me an envelope in the mail today to my parent's house saying "Oh we want to make it really easy to give us your Easter tithe, send it in soon!".

Seriously, I have a hand gesture for those people right about now, and I will refrain from saying anything more on this issue for fear of breaking the MDC rules

Editing a post makes it not be Swedish Chef, good to know.

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#2 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 08:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Darnit, it is Swedish Chef. If you can't read it, PLEASE come back tomorrow and share in my total anger

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#3 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 08:55 PM
 
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I can't understand it very well. They sent an envelope so you could send in your Easter...I can't figure out what the next word is. At all.

Sorry.

But I can give you a

I'll come back tomorrow.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato
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#4 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 09:00 PM
 
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I was coming to offer support, but I can't figure it out either..although, you probably will not be able to read this response anyway. Hugs till tomorrow

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=802589268Blissed out Mama of 4 Peace.gif
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#5 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 09:14 PM
 
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My church, you can't call me when I went blind and was in the hospital needing to see if I had MS and getting heavy doses of steroids 4 hours a day and if you can't call me when my husband was arrested for domestic violence against ?? and you can't call me when I had to pick up all of my belongings and move to my parent's attic the week after having carpal tunnel surgery - these all happened in the course of 5 weeks, by the way, had the audacity to send me an envelope int he mail today to my parent's house, saying "All we want to make it really easy to give us your Easter ?? send it in sunday" Seriously, I have a hand gesture for these people right now. I will refrain from saying more right now to avoid MDC swedish chef prison.

All I have to say is Bork! Bork! Bork! to them.

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#6 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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Ugh.... that is just beyond acceptable. I won't say much more in my swedish chefese. But I will give you a meeelion hugs!
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#7 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 09:27 PM
 
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It sounds like it's time to find a new church, if you haven't already. For them to not be supportive when you most needed them and then try to tap you for cash is unacceptable.

Oh, and sorry about your unfortunate Swedish Chef condition.
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#8 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 10:52 PM
 
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Seriously this is the kind of thing that turns people from church, and I can't blame them. The nicest thing I can say is how rude! I'd send back that exact reply (minus the sweedish!) to them in place of a monetary donation!
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#9 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 11:11 PM
 
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Ok, so I've read your previous posts about wanting to find a new church, so I know you're having some hard feelings towards the church...BUT

Who is "they" that you are referring to?

Because, really, the "they" that sent you the envelope are probably just people who may or may not know you who printed an address label off a mailing list of people who attend the church.

Now, I would take issue with the "they" who you are deeply connected with in the church who seemed to have lost track of you during your hard times. Are there people in your church that you have a close relationship with who you told, X,Y and Z happened....and those people are not responding to your needs? That's a problem. If "they" know about your problems, then yes, "they" should be responding.

I hope you will soon find a church that is filled with kind hearted people who really look after their church family. I have been blessed with finding one like that and had never experienced it before.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
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#10 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 11:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know the lady who sent me the envelope. I know her name and her husband and her children. I know who is in charge and who works in the offices and who handles the finances. I know them all. I know the ladies who were gossiping about me and who pointed at me and whispered about me when I came back. I know them, I have taken care of their children, some of their children were even in my doomed wedding. Funny how everyone comes out of the woodwork to come to the doomed wedding *admittedly I didn't think it was doomed when I did it*, but when the doomed marriage falls apart, due to no part of my own, everyone drops me like a hot potato. Ironic.

Yeah, I am bitter. Livid and bitter.

ETA: Although it does look pretty funny in Swedish.

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#11 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 11:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Now I feel guilty for being bitter

I am really not a selfish, entitled brat. I just expected more from a group of people that I was so close to for so long. You have no idea the support I have received from MDC. People online. They supported me so much and my own church family did not. And I just feel so upset about that.

Edited so it shows regular.

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#12 of 20 Old 04-01-2010, 11:48 PM
 
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well, in that case, your church sounds like it might not be healthy.

My church family is filled with people of all different shapes, sizes, financial positions, and really, I feel like even though I kind of keep my own personal crises and drama to myself, if I really needed someone I could ask for help and it would be given freely. If I told a friend that terrible things were happening, I would get a few calls and emails from people praying for me--at the very least. Search for a new church family. You deserve a community who will treat you as a sister in Christ.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
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#13 of 20 Old 04-02-2010, 12:11 AM
 
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I'm so sorry
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#14 of 20 Old 04-02-2010, 12:18 AM
 
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Perhaps different, but my mother was dropped like a hot rock at church after she was widowed just after adopting two toddlers. We had belonged to a pretty traditional church, one marriage, it's between a man and woman, lots of support for women to stay home and be homemakers and raise children, etc. I'm sure you can fill out this picture!
Anyway, I was out of the house by then and saw this with my own adult eyes. No one even wanted to make eye contact with her. Specifically because they liked her and identified with her. She was living their nightmare. Had been married, nice home, lots of kids. Now: Working full time, well, b/c she had to. Two small kids. Widowed, and unable to date or re-marry, ever, according to church rules. Spending any time with her meant facing that possibility that it could be them. It was soooo frusterating to me b/c her hypothetical best support was actually avoiding her. I supported her fully in her choice to leave her church family. I don't know if hearing that helps you at all.

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#15 of 20 Old 04-02-2010, 12:55 AM
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here is how i respond to such things:

in the tithing envelope, i send a letter that says:

From date X to date Y, i had the following incidents occur, and asked for help from the church and received nothing what so ever.

Thus, i refuse to tithe to such a church who will not serve it's own members and then asks for money.

---

you're not still a member there, are you?
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#16 of 20 Old 04-02-2010, 01:02 AM
 
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*hugs* I'm so sorry bunnyflakes.

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
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#17 of 20 Old 04-02-2010, 01:50 AM
 
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I am so sorry. That would really hurt.


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#18 of 20 Old 04-02-2010, 07:38 AM
 
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Who knew in Swedish Chef tee-zee meant tithe!

Okay, I really am sorry.

I can see how that would hurt.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato
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#19 of 20 Old 04-02-2010, 10:03 AM
 
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Tell them your money and your time are better spent with a church actually doing Christ's work.
I am so sorry you didn't get the support you needed.

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
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#20 of 20 Old 04-02-2010, 07:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The secretary e-mailed me back. She is going to forward my e-mail to the Pastor but I am not expecting to hear anything back.

I got two offers to go to new churches. One is the Catholic church my MIL goes to, so that isn't going to work out. And the other is to a Pentacostal *SP?* church my coworker attends.

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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