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Old 05-01-2010, 03:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Bluegoat View Post
I have read your other posts, and I really think you need to find a new church, one with leaders who are a lot more spiritually mature than the ones at your old church.
This.
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Old 05-01-2010, 04:18 PM
 
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I don't have anything to add to the religious discussion, but MS can be very mild or very severe or anywhere in between. So if you do have it, it is entirely possible that it won't be as bad as you fear.

Also, are you taking any new-to-you medication? A lot of medications have emotion-related side effects (I myself get depressed on Benadryl and panicky on penicillin).
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Old 05-02-2010, 11:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I am going to try some suggestions. I will start with some daily Bible reading. Then I am going to try to just talk to God and see how that works out for me

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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Old 05-03-2010, 11:45 AM
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bunnyflakes. I feel a lot of love for you, and I feel like I can relate to the way you feel. When I moved to the US 15 years ago, I quckly developed a hatred for myself and killed myself inwardly. Especially right now I can really relate to your struggles with who you are... I am right there too. I am tryng to trust the Lord, to take away the things that aren't of Him, and don't benefit me or anyone else. And He is showing me self truths that are... really beautiful, and bring me joy. It's crazy to experience, and hard to hang on to, when I do experience it. But I see that I am in the process, and I can trust God to get me there....


We had an amazing message yesterday, and I was thinking that you would really benefit from it. I want to give you encouragement, and hope I can type this out the way it sounds in my head....


Genesis 50:20 ... "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

This is Joseph speaking to his brothers. After having suffered hardships and mistreatment, at the hands of his brothers especially, is saying that all his sufferings had been worth it to reach the accomplishment of God's will.


Isaiah 43:2 .... "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through te rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."


Phillipians 1:12 .... "Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel."

Paul... after being imprisonned in a dungeon, all his hardships for the advancement of the gospel.


...


Romans 8:18 ... " I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

Not to say that our sufferings are not significnt, but that the result, if we allow the Lord to work in us, will reveal the Lord's glory. And if our suffering is intense, and painful, and longlasting, then how magnificent, glorious, wonderous, mind-bogeling amazing! is the merciful power of God that brings us through it, and to an end of peace and clarity!
And our Lord is faithful! These are the things He has promised! You can count on them!


Here are some points to help you through...

1. We need a new perspective, Romans 8:18.
2. ... patience, vs. 20-25.
3. ... understanding of Providence, v. 26-27, 28
4. ... and keep praising, v. 28

I have a couple other thing I would like to say but my kids are becoming unruly....
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Old 05-04-2010, 12:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bluebirdiemama View Post
l


Genesis 50:20 ... "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

This is Joseph speaking to his brothers. After having suffered hardships and mistreatment, at the hands of his brothers especially, is saying that all his sufferings had been worth it to reach the accomplishment of God's will.


Isaiah 43:2 .... "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through te rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."


Phillipians 1:12 .... "Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel."

Paul... after being imprisonned in a dungeon, all his hardships for the advancement of the gospel.


...


Romans 8:18 ... " I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

Not to say that our sufferings are not significnt, but that the result, if we allow the Lord to work in us, will reveal the Lord's glory. And if our suffering is intense, and painful, and longlasting, then how magnificent, glorious, wonderous, mind-bogeling amazing! is the merciful power of God that brings us through it, and to an end of peace and clarity!
And our Lord is faithful! These are the things He has promised! You can count on them!


Here are some points to help you through...

1. We need a new perspective, Romans 8:18.
2. ... patience, vs. 20-25.
3. ... understanding of Providence, v. 26-27, 28
4. ... and keep praising, v. 28

I have a couple other thing I would like to say but my kids are becoming unruly....
thank you those are really helpful. I get frustrated sometimes and I want to scream "Okay, really, enough, dump this on someone else!" which is really selfish and immature of me It is hard for me to see my current situation as anything other than just plain bad luck. But it is nice to see that it could be for something greater

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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Old 05-05-2010, 01:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a bit of a happy update.

I have been reading a bit the past three days. I found this Guideposts magazine with verses to read. Tonight's was Romans 12: 9-21

And hello, WOW Did I ever need to read that!

Quote:
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection,[e] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[f] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”[g]
says the Lord.

20 Instead,

“If your enemies are hungry, feed them.
If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap
burning coals of shame on their heads.”[h]

21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
Basically I have carried around a lot of anger towards my STBX. Why can he live well, go out to eat, have money to buy things, etc, when he has no job? Why am I working so hard to pay bills, some of which I have only because of what he did? Why is his life good after he abused me for over 8 years, and mine feels like it is in the gutter?

You know, why isn't he suffering because I think he deseves it?

But after reading this *ironically enough, today marks the 9 year anniversary of the day I met him, so yes, I NEEDED to read this today* I realize that this is not at all about me. It is none of my business how his life is. How do I even know his life is good? Maybe he is suffering but I just don't know it? And even if he is, again, none of my business. It is God's business, not mine. The only thing I can control is saving the money to file for divorce. Only 99 more dollars to go, and I can file. That is all I can do, so I am just going to push the rest away and concentrate on that. I have to know that it isn't about wanting to see him suffer or be punished. That is out of my hands. I can't pretend to know more than God does about this!!

So I thought I would share!

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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Old 05-05-2010, 02:06 AM
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What a wonderful thing to be freed from !!!
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Old 05-05-2010, 02:38 AM
 
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Wow, what a break through! I am so happy for you and I really appreciate the update on how you are doing. It seems like you may have experienced the stretching forward and forgetting things which are behind that Paul talks about in Philippians. Praise Him! He is so faithful when we seek Him.

DH, and Me plus baby girl (10/07)
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