trying to understand reincarnation - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 07-16-2010, 03:39 PM - Thread Starter
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I've been thinking a lot about death, babies and past lives recently. I've had two lovely readings with Intuitive Jamie that have given me some wonderful information. What I am finding though is that this information has piqued my interest in reincarnation. I am having a hard time trying to clarify my questions here. I think I just want to have a discussion about past lives, reincarnation in general and especially how they pertain to babies choosing families, the death of loved ones and their support of you post death, ghosts, and how your past lives might be influencing your current life.

So here is where I am coming from, and I would love to hear other people's perspectives about their own lives and what they understand about the world.

I lost my first baby through a blighted ovum. I have always felt strongly that I would have a girl. I have truly ached for a girl. What I think I didn't understand at that time was that I ached for not a girl, but my girl. My next two babies were boys which surprised me, I am sure partially because a psychic the first time, and a tech the second time said we were having a girl. Now this time around by 9 weeks pregnant this time (I'm currently 27 weeks) I was strongly convinced that this baby was a girl. I thought here I go again. I also started to believe that this girl was the girl that I lost in my blighted ovum, and have since realized that she decided that she wanted big brothers in her life and decided to pause and wait for a while until the right time came. I am also wondering if she was waiting for me to learn certain skills and develop certain passions before she came along. (the odd thing is that I truly adore my little boys and love doing little boy things. The idea of three boys doesn't bother me at all, except that might mean I won't have her in my life.)

So this is a lovely story, that I believe. What makes me feel a little uneasy though, in terms of general ideas, is that do all babies pick their families? It's a nice thought in happy families. We are far from being wealthy, but we are happy, and healthy and full of love. What about babies that are not born into this kind of family? Did they chose to be born into a family of disharmony, poor mental health, abuse? Did I chose to be born into a family of mental illness, instability, alcoholism, neglect? That doesn't fully make sense to me. Unless maybe in the greater idea of reincarnation that it does, and maybe this is partially where I want to understand more. For myself, I feel like I've learned important lessons from my childhood and have been able to grow and become a better person through it, but this certainly has not been the case for my older brother who seems to be in so much pain and replaying generations of abuse.

Will write about the other pieces later. Thank you for reading this.

Children deserve the respect of puzzling it out.
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#2 of 8 Old 07-16-2010, 04:42 PM
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I think about this a lot. I wonder if we choose lives that we have for the lessons that they have to offer. I know I have to learn patience, and my life while easy and rewarding in many many ways, but it really seems to revolve around the lesson of patience.

I wonder if I would have chosen a difficult life of carrying a disease or knowing that you are choosing a life of horrific abuse. I can see if there was a general series of life lessons that we needed to learn that we might have chosen one life over another to learn harder lessons and to see whether or not we could survive difficult times with dignity and kindness, or whether or not we could bring a change to difficult times. I also think that if this theory was true, then to choose such a life from a place where you know there is an end to it, might be easier choice, than from "down here", where this life seems all we can get, and we are stuck with the hand that is dealt to us. I would think that if someone turned into a bad person - a murderer, an abuser, a mean person - they probably have failed their lesson, and will have to start over in their next life? Dunno. None of this is solid in my head, more like a collection of jumbled up ideas on how the universe works.

As far as personal experiences go:

* My mom had two abortions: one right before she got pregnant again with my sister, and another one right before she got pregnant again with me. I think my sister and I just knew that we had to come into this family, and despite my parents not being ready for us "we made it through", if you will heh.

* My sister had a pregnancy that ended rather early in miscarriage, I clearly remember her heartbroken over losing "her two boys" (she knew she was carrying twins, but it was definitely too early to know the sex). Now, several years later, her two boys are giggling in the living room as I am typing this. She got pregnant again, and gave birth 6 months ago to twin boys. I know that she wanted a girl, but I think she knew that she was meant to have two boys.

* I know some people will brush this off, but here is a little something about DP. He is different from other people. I am not sure how to explain it, but he is better, kinder, more forgiving, stronger, more everything than any person I have ever met. Something is very special about him, and I can't explain it, you have to experience it. He lights up the room, he knows things about so many cultures, so many wars, so many unjust systems, babies stop crying in his arms, animals are drawn to him, he can make anyone smile, it's crazy weird. I am almost convinced that he is some old soul if not an angel. I am not speaking of this lightly. I have known the man for 11 years, and we've lived together for more than half of that time. He is the only one I have ever seen to truly knowingly turn the other cheek. And once in a while, when we start talking about totalitarian governments, I tell him his honesty and character wouldn't allow him to survive, he laughs and agrees. The funny thing is, in the back of his head, there is mark - round, just like a bullet hole from an execution style shot. I also joke, and tell him that I know my place in heaven is secured, because I'm with him, and I am convinced he has a way in with whoever is in charge up there.

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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#3 of 8 Old 07-16-2010, 04:57 PM
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Well, I'm Hindu, so this is probably a different view or reincarnation than yours.

In our religion we believe that yes-- a group of souls will keep interacting with one another through life times. It makes sense to me-- the connection we make with certain people-- esp family, I feel is proof of that. It's not just instinct or a matter of the heart-- it's the result of actually knowing that person before.

But we don't believe that babies pick their families-- that is determined by karma etc. So and that baby is an old soul with both good and bad experiences and deeds both in it's past and future. That baby is born into the family it's supposed to be born into; but maybe not one that it 'chooses'. Does that make sense?

Oriole, I also do believe that people are on different stages on the path to moksh. OP, how you describe your DP is perhaps a reflection of that.

I know Hinduism, and reincarnation seems strange-- but I feel like it explains the world around me very well. I guess other people feel the same way about their faiths!

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#4 of 8 Old 07-16-2010, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
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thank you both for such thoughtful replies.

I also believe that people are in different stages on the path towards. . . well I don't know.

Thank you for clarifying what you believe about a baby not choosing. That makes sense.

I feel a deep, deep connection with my oldest. I think it was before he was born, I had a dream that my first born would die. It was horrifying but I pushed those fears down and didn't want to parent him with that fear. That dream has come back (but not the details at all) to the forefront in my mind since I've been appreciating the power of my dreams. Now I am starting to wonder that in a past life my first born died and it was my DS. I'm not sure if it is true, but it is nicer to think I have a second chance this time around, rather than think he will die. There are other reasons why I think he was part of a past life with me.

Children deserve the respect of puzzling it out.
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#5 of 8 Old 07-16-2010, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
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My dear grandfather passed away 6 weeks before I was due with my oldest. I was heartbroken. I so badly wanted to see him holding my baby. The first time I spoke with Jamie she told me that my grandfather was with me during my traumatic labor with my oldest. He was there supporting me, cheering me on. He is also here for my oldest singing a lullaby song to him that his side of the family was famous for. Through his death he was able to meet my son. This information has meant the world to me but again it has started me thinking about life transitions.

As mentioned above, I believe my baby girl has waited for the right time to enter our lives. She has waited 8.5 years.

My grandfather passed 7.5 years ago. I believe he is still here with me and I was told that my oldest and I can call on him at any time. But why? Why is he still here? Why hasn't he moved onto another life? Is he waiting for my grandmother? (I suspect she will be passing soon - beyond a dream I had, it is not a very difficult guess since she is 90). It seems like a long time to wait, but maybe the issue is that I am thinking of time as linear.

How is this experience with my grandfather different than my experience with a spirit that lived in one of the apartments I lived in as a child. There was clearly a spirit there, but I'm not sure if I was the only one who thought so. I heard audible movement noises. Why hadn't this spirit moved on? Did it have a purpose?

thank you for reading

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#6 of 8 Old 08-03-2010, 10:48 PM
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The reincarnation topic is very complex. We all would love to believe that souls choose positive loving families before they all born into this world but over there all the soul really desires is to fulfill its self chosen mission which sometimes does involve being born into dysfunctional families but again it knows that its true essence cannot be damaged and also knows it will accomplish more when the life they choose is a difficult path. All souls evolve at different paces in their earthly journey so there will always be growth involved even those of the likes of Osama Bin Ladon. As part of soul's experience they also experience all cause and effects of their actions so every soul will experience what it causes another to experience. The near death experience life review is proof of that in which at the end of their physical lives souls not only review and relive their whole lives over in an instant they experience the consciousness of everyone they helped or hurt and feel everything they caused them to feel including people they did not meet but somehow there was a ripple effect. The reality is there is only one of us in the sense that when we loved someone we really loved ourselves and when we hurt someone we really hurt ourselves because we are all one forever linked to the source of life known as God who experiences everything we experience because we are a part of God.
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#7 of 8 Old 08-04-2010, 06:00 AM
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Just to inject the Jewish view ...

Reincarnation is central to Jewish mysticism, the idea that we keep coming back again and again until we "get it right." Part of that is also the idea that children *do* pick their parents. (It's one of the reasons that children are also traditionally more than welcome at traditional Jewish weddings ... the idea being that the souls of the new couple's children are present at the wedding, so all the children running around the wedding are kind of "incentive" for the babies-to-come to hurry up and get here already and play with all the kids running around ... )

All of our losses were felt, but I have never felt that they children that did make it to us were the same souls. But then again, Jewish mysticism speaks to that, too ... though not necessarily appropriately for your question.
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#8 of 8 Old 08-04-2010, 07:20 AM
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My reincarnation beliefs don't follow any religion strictly. I take a bit from many different religions, you may or may not agree. Your choice is not my concern. I believe that souls choose/or agree to reincarnate into the situation that is most likely to support whatever it was that was left undone in the previous life (lives).

I like to believe that the workings of the universe, of god, are so great that while we think we can attribute action "A" leading to result "B", really it is beyond our limitations of understanding from the stand point of the human experience. It goes way beyond that. But we are only able to access a certain aspect or two of it from where we stand right now.

Most simply put, I believe that a soul reincarnates into a more difficult birth or family situation so that it can learn certain lessons. Sometimes it learns such lessons and is able to leave its physical body behind ( through physical death), and is then able to reincarnate on a higher level. Other times the soul comes in on level of great struggle, and is able to learn and rise above the struggles to have a fulfilling life.

Each souls journey is unique. No life (experience) is truly wrong. Each life brings the soul closer to samadhi and completion. Liberation from the cycle of life and death is what we seem to be seeking, how can we say that any one path is incorrect when they all have results beyond what a human brain can fully comprehend.

For your own family, OP, my belief is that your children and you made an agreement long ago between your souls, probably while all of you were on the other side of the veil. What if the little girl presence was meant to represent part of your self that needs healing and rejuvenation? Taking a physical body in this time isn't a necessary part of ones healing path. Maybe your boys are teaching you about being proactive and reaching out to life in ways that you weren't always comfortable with before. And the girl, that was the blighted ovum, what if she needed that experience to set you and her free? Free to be able to reach out for things you feared due to the possibility of failure? Free to be the Mother that your Boys would need. The girl, she already knew maybe, or maybe she just agreed that they boys needed you as a Mother more than her.

It becomes very much supposition at this point. I don't know your experience. I can only wonder and offer possibilities. And there are possibilities beyond my limited offerings. I believe that some times the world/universe works in ways that are quite simple and obvious. Other times it works in ways that are complex and beyond our understanding. The only thing I can offer as a firm belief is that, I believe that all things are just as they should be. Some things are full of pain or fear, but it is the souls opportunity to work through such things that is requires such events. Our actions, our choices to what is presented to us is what leads us from our individual point A to point B.

Much love to you as you seek your own path.
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