I think about this a lot. I wonder if we choose lives that we have for the lessons that they have to offer. I know I have to learn patience, and my life while easy and rewarding in many many ways, but it really seems to revolve around the lesson of patience.
I wonder if I would have chosen a difficult life of carrying a disease or knowing that you are choosing a life of horrific abuse. I can see if there was a general series of life lessons that we needed to learn that we might have chosen one life over another to learn harder lessons and to see whether or not we could survive difficult times with dignity and kindness, or whether or not we could bring a change to difficult times. I also think that if this theory was true, then to choose such a life from a place where you know there is an end to it, might be easier choice, than from "down here", where this life seems all we can get, and we are stuck with the hand that is dealt to us. I would think that if someone turned into a bad person - a murderer, an abuser, a mean person - they probably have failed their lesson, and will have to start over in their next life? Dunno. None of this is solid in my head, more like a collection of jumbled up ideas on how the universe works.
As far as personal experiences go:
* My mom had two abortions: one right before she got pregnant again with my sister, and another one right before she got pregnant again with me. I think my sister and I just knew that we had to come into this family, and despite my parents not being ready for us "we made it through", if you will heh.
* My sister had a pregnancy that ended rather early in miscarriage, I clearly remember her heartbroken over losing "her two boys" (she knew she was carrying twins, but it was definitely too early to know the sex). Now, several years later, her two boys are giggling in the living room as I am typing this. She got pregnant again, and gave birth 6 months ago to twin boys. I know that she wanted a girl, but I think she knew that she was meant to have two boys.
* I know some people will brush this off, but here is a little something about DP. He is different from other people. I am not sure how to explain it, but he is better, kinder, more forgiving, stronger, more everything than any person I have ever met. Something is very special about him, and I can't explain it, you have to experience it. He lights up the room, he knows things about so many cultures, so many wars, so many unjust systems, babies stop crying in his arms, animals are drawn to him, he can make anyone smile, it's crazy weird. I am almost convinced that he is some old soul if not an angel. I am not speaking of this lightly. I have known the man for 11 years, and we've lived together for more than half of that time. He is the only one I have ever seen to truly knowingly turn the other cheek. And once in a while, when we start talking about totalitarian governments, I tell him his honesty and character wouldn't allow him to survive, he laughs and agrees. The funny thing is, in the back of his head, there is mark - round, just like a bullet hole from an execution style shot. I also joke, and tell him that I know my place in heaven is secured, because I'm with him, and I am convinced he has a way in with whoever is in charge up there.