~*~ August Pagan Familes Circle~*~ - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#301 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 11:24 AM
 
Aubergine68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: in the soul's garden
Posts: 2,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
How does one go about doing this?

.
I was able to get the property management office by googling the address and the non-emergency police by googling the town name.
Aubergine68 is offline  
#302 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 11:35 AM
 
DaughterOfKali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 12,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
What should I do, mamas?
I think it's way too soon to freak out. Maybe his phone battery died but then had to go to work. (etc etc).

If you haven't heard from him by the time he usually gets home from work, then I would call someone.

Independent Consultant- Thirty One Gifts www.mythirtyone.com/ShopLiz

Origami Owl http://lizcioci.origamiowl.com

DaughterOfKali is offline  
#303 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 01:17 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by saphire View Post
Maia- hang in there. Think positive, and if you don't hear from him this evening, then worry, k?
I'm trying. No word btw 11:30 and 12:00

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
I think it's way too soon to freak out. Maybe his phone battery died but then had to go to work. (etc etc).

If you haven't heard from him by the time he usually gets home from work, then I would call someone.
I hope you're right, DOK. Even so, he'd still usually text me or something to say he was sorry-- I'm hoping maybe that's what happened and then he had to leave the phone plugged in and not bring it to work.

Good plan, though...if I don't hear from him by 4:00, which he would never get out of work that late but it would give him time to get out at the very latest time and then drive home, then I will start calling places.

Thanks, all. Thanks, Aubergine.
I can't help but be really worried. If he didn't have CML I probably would just chalk it up to carelessness, but what worries me is what if he spiked a fever in the night? If he was hospitalized, his dd would have contacted me by now, but if he...ye Gods, what if he...I can't even go there. I'll just wait till 4 and see. I'm sure he's just fine. I'll keep y'all posted.

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#304 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 01:26 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OMGs, YAY, he's OK!!

He texted me as I was typing the last post. WHEW. I'm so relieved. He did indeed leave the phone at home, as I'd hoped. That still doesn't solve why he didn't call me as he always does, but I can find that out later.

Oh Gods, I am so relieved. I didn't realize how I was holding my breath all morning. Exhale, exhale. Whew.

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#305 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 01:27 PM
 
aweynsayl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 3,396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ohmy, huge hugs to all. hoping for swift and positive resolutions.


thank you all for the suggestions! it's funny, red geraniums were on my list for the front for sentimental reasons. now they're really going in!

aubergine, oh, i wish there were signs of something to connect to in the garden. alas, it's been as neglected as the inside.

i am bringing out some lovely aspects of the original house--the windows were hidden beneath really thick, heavy, poor quality blinds, and years (decades?) worth of grime, *and* painted shut. dh got them (almost) all to open, has started replacing the cranks on those that wont work, and i scraped paint off (sloppy painting), and washed and washed..... they're so beautiful! and, the original, wonderful wavy glass.

i spent the morning there yesterday~ gave in and used something called krud kutter (eco-friendly, but super strong) & a scrub brush... i am so so sore now! but another layer of grime is off the tile... i know i still need to wash them more (the rinse water is basically black!), but it is progress.

i'm starting to worry what i'll do with myself once i've finished cleaning the house...

i also got some rose quartz and some wire~ i'm going to make a pendant light for over the kitchen sink.

thanks again for the wise and wonderful words!
aweynsayl is offline  
#306 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 01:28 PM
 
aweynsayl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 3,396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
maia~ phew!
aweynsayl is offline  
#307 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 01:29 PM
 
witchygrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
OMGs, YAY, he's OK!!

He texted me as I was typing the last post. WHEW. I'm so relieved. He did indeed leave the phone at home, as I'd hoped. That still doesn't solve why he didn't call me as he always does, but I can find that out later.

Oh Gods, I am so relieved. I didn't realize how I was holding my breath all morning. Exhale, exhale. Whew.
I've had this happen to me a few times with DH. I know exactly this process, and I'm glad everything is okay. I was worried for you.

Come ponder with me about food!
witchygrrl is offline  
#308 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 01:32 PM
 
witchygrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sad news for us Pagans. Isaac Bonewits has died. He was the founder of the ADF, a prolific writer, and had quite the wicked sense of humor, as evident in his books. I was fortunate enough to have seen him speak, and I am sad that I won't get the chance again.

http://wildhunt.org/blog/2010/08/isa...1949-2010.html

Come ponder with me about food!
witchygrrl is offline  
#309 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 01:51 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post
I've had this happen to me a few times with DH. I know exactly this process, and I'm glad everything is okay. I was worried for you.
Thank you. I was worried for me, too
I consider him my DH, only long distance. He is my DH, for all intents and purposes. I was really worried...He did say he left the phone at home, he went home at lunch to grab it, he's fine and safe, gets out at 3:30 today (which tells me he got up way late, or got up early, slacked off, and went in as late as he was able), loves me

Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post
Sad news for us Pagans. Isaac Bonewits has died.
His impending passing has been all over Facebook, on my witchy friends' pages. I'm sorry to hear that May his passage be swift and pleasant to the other side, and may his family and friends bear their sorrow with grace and dignity.

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#310 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 02:12 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
maia: glad it was all ok with M. i would have called his work if i was worried.

i wish my mom would exercise. i know it would help her. she is over weight, not that it looks bad or anything, but she is about 6 inches shorter the me and heavier then me. it is hard on her joints and back and it makes her heart and lungs work harder. they bought a $3000 tred mill and she used it twice. now it is a clothes rack. it was "boring" i suggested that maybe put it in the TV room and watch a show while she walks, but no she can't do that because it would look bad. ok, then put it in front of a lovely forest scene picture and listen to a cd with bird song and water... no she doesn't like that stuff. then do it is short spurts, like 3 ten minute walks instead of 1 30 minute walk. no she wants to just get it over with... EXCEPT YOUR NOT DOING IT ANYWAY! ugh! they have had this damn thing for 5 or so years. they got it because she "couldn't" walk outside do to the air quality and heat. i told them about a year ago to just sell the thing on craigs list... no my mom said she plans on using it? what when your dead?
sorry about that. lol just get so frustrated with her. blaaah!


DoK: you gotta keep calling my MIL is on medicare and has always found doctors. her dermatologist takes medicare. there is someone around that will see her. if the hospital can't find them just pull open the yellow pages yourself and start calling. that is what my MIL did.

aweyn: i must have missed something some place... this house you are living in... are you renting or did you buy it? if you are renting i would ask the property management company to have something like merry maids come in and do a deep cleaning and then you guys can go thru and spiritually clean the place.

h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#311 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 02:45 PM
 
_ktg_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: a house in the suburban jungle.
Posts: 2,151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Maia - ! I almost replied, but then got to the end for today and saw that M finally texted back! ! and huzzah!

Awyen - Come out to my house once you're done!! I love your idea with the rose quartz and wire. You are always inspiring me with ideas!! . I found this a couple of days ago and I think it might be a winter project (and for me to learn to sew too!)

Elemental wall hanging

mof3 - s in dealing with your mom. It sounds like she "feeds" off this energy to be the "victim" but not take any responsibility for the choices she's made or could make to remedy the problem. Can you tackfully not engage when she brings it up? or simply say Mom you know my position with your health and I agree it stinks, but I can't listen to this further can we change the subject.

DOK - I hope you can find someone look at that for your mom.

Cari - I agree about the system

Aubgerine - totally happy belated birthday

treehugger.gifAnd you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.treehugger.gif

_ktg_ is offline  
#312 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 03:05 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
anyone else have family that emails them just the weirdest stuff? lol my SIL sends me all this sort of weird christian stuff, which wouldn't be too weird if she were christian. BUT SHE IS NOT! maybe she thinks i am, although i am pretty straight forward about not being one, and actually everyone pretty much knows were i stand. just weird.

i have to say i make the best darn quiche! yum... shallots, leeks, goat cheese, loads of spinach. YUM! it is so tasty! (just had some left overs for breakfast. lol)

got the whole phone/cable/internet bill all straightened out. so i feel good about that.
plans for the day.... do "Shimmy" on fit tv at 1pm, go to the store and get some food, pay sisters book fees for school, maybe do some laundry, possibly vacuum (although the kids like to do that) and clean the bathrooms.. eeek. they get so yucky so fast. white bathrooms look great when they are clean, but they are a b!tch too keep that way. lol
OH i have to tell you all, took dd to the school she picked out and she had to take in some of her art and writing so they could see which classes to put her in.. THEY LOVED HER STUFF! really impressed with her writing and loved her eye for her photography and they said she could skip beginner drawing and go into life drawing. she is really happy. i am so glad we homeschooled for so long. she is so excited about 11th grade, excited about school and her class load (which looks completely overwhelming to me lol). as much as i would love to have her home, she is choosing this and she so rises to the occasion and the challenge.

oh and ktg: i don't have to get into it with her, lol i just do! it is all me. she really would probably prefer me to shut the hell up and stop telling her what to do. lol.

h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#313 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 03:19 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
MO3, yay!

I'm so pissed right now. I knew this would happen, and I'm having trouble dealing with it.

Around 8:30 this morning, or maybe it was 9:30, I forgot-- I PM'd M's dd on FB asking her to check on him. Told her he didn't call me for the first time ever and please make sure he's OK.

Well, the deal is, his dd is 30yo and acts like she's 11 She lives with her mom, M's ex, and they're all about high drama over there. I've never met any of them in person. I've talked to L on the phone (his dd) a bunch of times in the past, and D, once (his ex), when M was in the hospital that time, and when M has had to have interferon (remember?), but those interactions have been a long time now.

SO long story short, Ex has always hated me, or the idea of me, and DD a couple months ago decided she hates me too and wants nothing to do with me. They kind of have this attitude that they don't want him but they don't want anyone else to have him, either.
So DD told him to not mention me anymore. I don't know what Ex says or doesn't say. M tries to stay out of it, for the most part. He loves his DD but can't stand all the drama.

SO. I did not call his work. I did not call 911. I did not call the property management. I did not call the police non-emergency. Oh, how I wanted to. I did not call his DD, or text her. Instead, I PMd on FB hoping she'd just check.

So apparently, she called M's work, found out he was ok, talked to him, and yelled at him about me PMing her. I guess. Because he just called me, and he can't make calls at work, so it must have been important to him-- to yell at me not to EVAH get in touch with his family, ever ever, all it does is make them yell.

Well, you bet I had a few words about that. I was like, look, if you didn't have leukemia, I would have chalked it up to pure negligence, but you do, and you always call me, and how was I supposed to know? You're lucky I didn't call 911 or your work. I almost did. He was like, don't hunt me down.
Hunt? HUNT?? Frick. Srsly. It's not like he was out carousing and I was henpecking. I am so angry I could spit. WTF. I said don't you dare turn this on me.

So he gets out at 3:30 and I don't know what to say, but I don't want to steam between now and then. I want to say something calm and intelligent. I hope he calms down between now and then, too. GRRRR.

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#314 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 04:29 PM
 
Aubergine68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: in the soul's garden
Posts: 2,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
So he gets out at 3:30 and I don't know what to say, but I don't want to steam between now and then. I want to say something calm and intelligent. I hope he calms down between now and then, too. GRRRR.
Well, I didn't want to say it earlier, because I figured it would cause you more stress, but I just wanted to share that a few years back my dad (in his 50s, drinking problem, other underlying health issues) passed away suddenly at home. I was used to not being able to get in touch with him for a few days at a time but a horrible dream made me panic , my sister who lived locally was out of town for the weekend. I called Dad's building management to go check on his apartment. They found him dead. My sister was due to go visit him that night and she would have walked in on him and had that memory for the rest of her life. I honestly think my dad's spirit was communicating with me to spare her that (I lived thousands of miles away at the time.)

I believe that everyone who lives alone should have a contact schedule with family who might worry about them and a procedure to follow if contact is missed. No emotions - just maybe -- hey, in light of your health issues and the stress on me and my health if I am out of touch with you unexpectedly, can we come up with a contact program and someone like a neighbor I can call if you don't answer your phone?

I also know that it is hard to separate worry from intuition, but I believe in following through on these feelings just in case. I cried when I got off the phone with my dad the week before he died -- on some level, I knew he was in trouble, though he hid it. I have always regretted that I didn't act on those feelings sooner -- maybe he would have lived, maybe he just wouldn't have died alone.

Your M wouldn't want his daughter to be the one to find him if something did happen to him anyway, I expect, so discussing what alternate plan there might be sounds good.

ETA -- and do you have emergency contacts for if he were unable to reach *you*, Maia?

Sorry to be such a downer! I am so glad that he *is* ok!
Aubergine68 is offline  
#315 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 04:32 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
maia: that would make me steaming mad. i have no advice, cuz i would probably fume about it and then yell at him. lol i wonder if he yelled at his dd too for calling him at work to yell at him?


h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#316 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 04:47 PM
 
aweynsayl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 3,396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ok.... wanna see the before & after pics?

(mo3~ we own it... for better or worse, lol)

hugs to all with communication issues, etc.... having our fair share of them lately too. i chock it up to saturn in libra....
aweynsayl is offline  
#317 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 05:17 PM
 
_ktg_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: a house in the suburban jungle.
Posts: 2,151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aweyn - that describes it best!

Maia - after reading that update, bless your heart. I had more to say.. but I am fighter with words really the post started to look like this I'm the first to admit I fight dirty and go for jugular.

But this is what I hope - M sees the light with the intention of your actions which is love and that he has a choice to be dragged into the drama circus or request his DD to express her wishes to you directly. enough with the telephone b.s. of her telling him to tell to you and etc.. sides everything always gets mucked up once you go through several people.

Didn't princesstutu mention something about a merc retrograde? I saw I think on Tracy's article we could feel the effects even in the shadow so like 08/01/2010 until 09/12?

Gah - I feel like I want to just write a letter to 2010 and ask for it to be over already.

treehugger.gifAnd you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.treehugger.gif

_ktg_ is offline  
#318 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 06:54 PM
 
witchygrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mof3, I'm sorry about your mom, but to me it sounds like she's already made her own bed, as it were. some people just don't want to help themselves, and make excuses for everything. I have friends like that, and it drives me bonkers, too. I hope she fgures it out that she just can't live like that anymore, for her own sake (and yours).

maia-aaaaah! I'd be totally furious!wtf?!?

I'm hating 2010 too. Poor DH is so stressed he has a bald spot on the side of his head (alopecia), and I'm so stressed I have hives every morning on my fingers. I just want Dh to find a good job that he enjoys, and I want to feel like we're okay financially for a change. Well, today, there was some light at the end of the tunnel, as it were. The camp he's at is held at a fancy-schmancy private school, and they're just deciding that they need an afterschool art teacher for the high school kids. They called Dh over, and while they haven't officially posted the job yet, he's at the top of the list! They may need a full tme art teacher later on, but that's not out in the open yet, and this may be his way in!!!!

Come ponder with me about food!
witchygrrl is offline  
#319 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 07:57 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post
I believe that everyone who lives alone should have a contact schedule with family who might worry about them and a procedure to follow if contact is missed. No emotions - just maybe -- hey, in light of your health issues and the stress on me and my health if I am out of touch with you unexpectedly, can we come up with a contact program and someone like a neighbor I can call if you don't answer your phone?

Your M wouldn't want his daughter to be the one to find him if something did happen to him anyway, I expect, so discussing what alternate plan there might be sounds good.

ETA -- and do you have emergency contacts for if he were unable to reach *you*, Maia?
Don't worry about being a downer, Aubergine. Your post was insightful, with very good advice, and I appreciate it. I'm so sorry about your dad

But do tell more about this "contact program/schedule"? How would it work? Is it like a phone tree or something? Can you give an example?

No, I don't have anyone, either. But it's a good idea to figure one out. Unfortunately neither of us has many friends. My best friend doesn't have a phone, at all. She has Skype, but at the moment she's living in a camper with sketchy internet access, until she finds a job so she can save some $$ and get an apartment.
I can give him my ex roommate's number, but she now lives 45 minutes away. I do have my neighbor's number. I'll ask him if he minds if I pass it on.

And M has nobody, except his DD. He did have a neighbor who he hung with occasionally, but she moved away. He's not on any better than passing "hello" terms with the others.
You know what, though, I do have the number of the lady who lives next door, whose apartment I'm hoping to get. That would at least be something. And I'm trying to find out the name of his apartment manager.
M would do one of two things if I asked him to help implement this. He would either 1) think it's a grand idea, or 2) think it stinks and won't do it, because he's that private that he doesn't want anyone in his business.

I'm so freaking annoyed at this DD/Ex issue-- they haven't even met me. They won't. They refuse to. Yet sometimes DD will ask M how I am-- not because she's interested, but because she's digging to find out if we're still An Item
It's all so juvenile and stOOpid. Her mom is 56yo, for crying out loud. And she's 30. With a child of her own. Who was it in here said high school never ends? Was that this thread?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
maia: that would make me steaming mad. i have no advice, cuz i would probably fume about it and then yell at him. lol i wonder if he yelled at his dd too for calling him at work to yell at him?
I don't know...it all turned out fine. He got over it very quickly, and didn't even really want to hear me talk about it at all, but he was patient enough so that I managed to let him know that I was more worried about just that, Aubergine, finding him dead on the floor. He assured me that if he spiked a fever, he'd wake up enough to call somebody, and the hospitals all know to call his DD if he's admitted. AND I'm one of his "ICE" numbers. He said he always is good enough to call someone in case of fever ~wipes brow~ which I did not know, so I feel better.
And also he promised that if he ran out the door, running late, again, he'd take 5 seconds to call me and say just that, that he doesn't have time to talk but will call me later.
So I'm satisfied. For now.
He was just in a snit after his DD called him at work, I guess. But I told him-- do you think I'd risk that, knowing she hates me, if I didn't think it important? Do you think I'd want to cause you that strife? Um, no. I thought long and hard before I made the decision to email. I am glad I took the risk. So HA

Quote:
Originally Posted by aweynsayl View Post
Wow.
I wonder what would happen if you just took a spray bottle of diluted bleach water to it? I know it's not anywhere near sustainable, but I would. I get frustrated too easily

Quote:
Originally Posted by _ktg_ View Post
Maia - after reading that update, bless your heart. I had more to say.. but I am fighter with words really the post started to look like this I'm the first to admit I fight dirty and go for jugular.

But this is what I hope - M sees the light with the intention of your actions which is love and that he has a choice to be dragged into the drama circus or request his DD to express her wishes to you directly. enough with the telephone b.s. of her telling him to tell to you and etc.. sides everything always gets mucked up once you go through several people.
He did. Good call on the "getting dragged into the circus" though. I don't know if she told him to tell me, and I don't care. You're right, though, it is UTTERLY ridiculous.
What do they think, I'm going to bite? Honestly, I'm really nice. I do try.

I do, though, understand his ex's hostility, to a degree. Here she was married to him for 25 years, they had 2 dd's together, raised them, and she comes to find out he's been in love all this time with a hs girlfriend, who materialized out of seemingly nowhere. It makes a sham of their marriage, kwim?
But, otoh, they got pregnant by accident and did the best they could to make a go of it.
In all fairness, they made an excellent go of it-- they'd only been dating like 2 months, or 6, or something, when she got pregnant. It's amazing they did that well. But. It was built on practicality, and Catholic belief, and responsibility. Not on love. So....I'm sorry, but it is what it is. I would love to see them make peace and move on. Sigh. AND it would be really nice if they'd wish him happiness, instead of making more misery!!
They could make an effort to be cordial with me, and with him, and not overtly hostile. Ye Gods.

Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post
They called Dh over, and while they haven't officially posted the job yet, he's at the top of the list! They may need a full tme art teacher later on, but that's not out in the open yet, and this may be his way in!!!!
Well isn't that great news!! Congrats, yay!

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#320 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 08:04 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
so i did the "shimmy" workout on fit tv... LOL i would be so funny to watch, if i let anyone in the room. it was a great workout, my arms are killing me. 30 minutes with arms up! but too many things going on at once... shimmy then do figure 8 with hips while do this thing with your arms, and then do a step. AGH! it is on week days at one here so i am going to do that and then try and do this yoga thing in the morning. feels great to be moving. i am thinking about MAYBE seeing if i could find a belly dance class in person so someone could actually help me do this stuff right. lol (they need a yoga smilie too)

i am gonna make some pizza tonite... sun dried tomato pesto, with spinach and zucchini and maybe leeks. YUM! (that is for the big people since the boys will turn and run at green on a pizza)

must go clean some part of the house now. blaaah! actually instead of blaaah i should have gratitude that we have this nice house. which i am very grateful for!


oh have to share, rachel ray was talking about some dish she was going to make with pea sauce... row said.. "PEE? yuck. " lol
h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#321 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 08:29 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ye Gods, my boobs hurt (TMI?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
(they need a yoga smilie too)

i am gonna make some pizza tonite... sun dried tomato pesto, with spinach and zucchini and maybe leeks. YUM! (that is for the big people since the boys will turn and run at green on a pizza)
There is and

Pizza sounds You can do this to get green into the boys on pizza: shred zucchini and put it under the cheese. It's white when it's shredded and you can hardly see any green

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#322 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 09:27 PM
 
Aubergine68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: in the soul's garden
Posts: 2,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Witchy, that is sooo cool about the job possibility for your dh. Crossing my fingers for you guys!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
But do tell more about this "contact program/schedule"? How would it work? Is it like a phone tree or something? Can you give an example?
No, just whatever degree of contact that makes sense to you. Like, if you usually are in touch every day, you arrange that if you miss a day without him letting you know that he will be out of contact and he doesn't contact you first thing in the morning, you will call the building manager or a neighbor to check on him.

An example - if I didn't hear from my mom for two days -- she has no answering service or way for me to leave a message and I try to call her when I expect she'll be available to answer her land line -- I would be calling her building management or social worker, for example.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
oh have to share, rachel ray was talking about some dish she was going to make with pea sauce... row said.. "PEE? yuck. " lol
h
You know, I like peas, but pea sauce doesn't sound so yummy either, actually.
Aubergine68 is offline  
#323 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 09:34 PM
 
DaughterOfKali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 12,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Going to a conference for work this weekend (the one where I won accommodations at an Inn).
I'm looking forward to this!

Independent Consultant- Thirty One Gifts www.mythirtyone.com/ShopLiz

Origami Owl http://lizcioci.origamiowl.com

DaughterOfKali is offline  
#324 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 09:43 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post
No, just whatever degree of contact that makes sense to you. Like, if you usually are in touch every day, you arrange that if you miss a day without him letting you know that he will be out of contact and he doesn't contact you first thing in the morning, you will call the building manager or a neighbor to check on him.
Oh. He will never agree to that, unless it's a threat

He was fine with me about it this afternoon, but got uber pissed when I kept mentioning it, and even threatened to stop the morning phone calls if it's "causing him a problem"
I hate when he gets in that kind of mood. It's not often, but he totally treats me like a wayward child when he does. Like "I do NOT want to hear about this again, do you hear me?" Um, hush. SO not respectful. I'm not your employee, your slave, your child, your underling, that you can talk to me that way.
Fortunately it's rare. I let it blow over and then remind him that I won't put up with it. He's usually contrite Argh, probably his military training plus his dad, who was also military, and ran his 10-child household as such

Off to bed. Finally got the last in the Auel series! Been wanting to read that for ages and ages. AND "Your Nine Year Old" by Louise Bates Ames. DS has gotten so freaking sassy-- he always was, but I'm about done with it; nothing works to stop it except threats. And he's such a drama king. Has tantrums like a 2yo and is always "the victim", I'm always "so mean" As if I'm just randomly mean...no, it never has anything to do with his behavior

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#325 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 10:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
CariOfOz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: the Lounge
Posts: 4,674
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeress View Post
Cari- did dh's van get fixed? Because the van is for work, could it be a tax write off? Not that it helps you right now but it could later on.
Oh yes it is definitely a business dedcuction He put the lock in himself, which saved about 75bucks! And UGH I can't imagine feeling that crappy with cramps at that hour, that I got up and had a soak in the bath! Ya must have been miserable!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
OMGs, YAY, he's OK!!

He texted me as I was typing the last post. WHEW. I'm so relieved. He did indeed leave the phone at home, as I'd hoped. That still doesn't solve why he didn't call me as he always does, but I can find that out later.

Oh Gods, I am so relieved. I didn't realize how I was holding my breath all morning. Exhale, exhale. Whew.
I am glad he is ok I agree that maybe some sort of communication contract is a good idea, considering his health issues. Make sure you STRESS that it is only because you are concerned that with him living alone, something could happen to him and nobody would know!

Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post
Sad news for us Pagans. Isaac Bonewits has died. He was the founder of the ADF, a prolific writer, and had quite the wicked sense of humor, as evident in his books. I was fortunate enough to have seen him speak, and I am sad that I won't get the chance again.

http://wildhunt.org/blog/2010/08/isa...1949-2010.html
I saw that on fb too How sad for his family & friends life must be right now. I have read a little of his work, but even if I were his biggest fan... I don't think he could have touched me a fraction of how much he touched them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
i wish my mom would exercise. i know it would help her. she is over weight, not that it looks bad or anything, but she is about 6 inches shorter the me and heavier then me.
UGH. It's crazy isn't it? has she tried finding somewhere that does aquaerobics? They aren't so hard on the joints and tend to be much more enjoyable. I agree with her about the treadmill.. it's boring and it sucks! I've been with Curves for almost 2 weeks now and I REALLY like it. I'm not sure if her doc would be ok with her doing anything like that though, considering the o2.

Quote:
Originally Posted by _ktg_ View Post
mof3 - s in dealing with your mom. It sounds like she "feeds" off this energy to be the "victim" but not take any responsibility for the choices she's made or could make to remedy the problem. Can you tackfully not engage when she brings it up? or simply say Mom you know my position with your health and I agree it stinks, but I can't listen to this further can we change the subject.
That might be a very good point.. she DOES sound like a 'help rejecting complainer'.. ie she goes on and on about her health issues, but promptly rejects any suggestion based on silly reasons... because she thinks if she DID something about her health, then she wouldn't get any attention because of it. Nevermind that she'd actually get a LIFE that she could ENJOY!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
maia: that would make me steaming mad. i have no advice, cuz i would probably fume about it and then yell at him. lol i wonder if he yelled at his dd too for calling him at work to yell at him?


h
This...I would have totally unloaded on him, for unloading on me. And likely have told his grown up daughter to pull her head out. How on earth are you to be his family if you aren't allowed to interact with.. his family???

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
Going to a conference for work this weekend (the one where I won accommodations at an Inn).
I'm looking forward to this!
Oh fun! I'm glad you are getting to go after all Tell them AUSTRALIAN DISTRIBUTORRRRRRRRRSSS! from me please!

L & C are off with nan till tomorrow, leaving me with just Derrick & Quinn. Mum's taking them to swim lessons today and tomorrow morning, and to see Toy Story 3 .. and she's going to get them a haircut for me Makes life easier because Quinn is a terror about it lol.

Daim coming home soon, so I think (while we have a day where we'll all fit!) that we'll take off & go show Derrick around a bit.. maybe pick up his duvet cover (he's using a nekkid one at the moment) and grab some afternoon tea out

Pagan  lovin'  WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe
CariOfOz is offline  
#326 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 10:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
CariOfOz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: the Lounge
Posts: 4,674
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ktg, that elemental wall hanging is GREAT btw! I somehow missed tagging that post to reply to... I love it

Pagan  lovin'  WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe
CariOfOz is offline  
#327 of 684 Old 08-12-2010, 10:45 PM
 
Valerie.Qc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in my own pants
Posts: 2,566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Went out to a friend's house this morning, just for a coffee... and came back home just in time to make supper. I had DS and DD2 with me.

It was great! I really enjoyed the no-worry day!

I'm going to run errands tomorrow... the kids are staying home.

DD1's case have been given to a psy and she will see her next week.


Off to see if we can see the meteor shower... I have a few wishes to make.

Valérie   
Valerie.Qc is offline  
#328 of 684 Old 08-13-2010, 12:10 AM
 
princesstutu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: the bay area, baby!
Posts: 1,771
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
*takes deep breath, says 'Hi', and...*
Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post
I'm hating 2010 too. Poor DH is so stressed he has a bald spot on the side of his head (alopecia), and I'm so stressed I have hives every morning on my fingers. I just want Dh to find a good job that he enjoys, and I want to feel like we're okay financially for a change. Well, today, there was some light at the end of the tunnel, as it were. The camp he's at is held at a fancy-schmancy private school, and they're just deciding that they need an afterschool art teacher for the high school kids. They called Dh over, and while they haven't officially posted the job yet, he's at the top of the list! They may need a full tme art teacher later on, but that's not out in the open yet, and this may be his way in!!!!
Sending you all good vibes!
Quote:
Originally Posted by aweynsayl View Post
I think we used to have that floor when I was in middle school. Aaah! The floor-cleaning memories.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
I'm so pissed right now. I knew this would happen, and I'm having trouble dealing with it.

...

So he gets out at 3:30 and I don't know what to say, but I don't want to steam between now and then. I want to say something calm and intelligent. I hope he calms down between now and then, too. GRRRR.
Woo. Mess!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
So I'm satisfied. For now.
He was just in a snit after his DD called him at work, I guess. But I told him-- do you think I'd risk that, knowing she hates me, if I didn't think it important? Do you think I'd want to cause you that strife? Um, no. I thought long and hard before I made the decision to email. I am glad I took the risk. So HA
Glad you're feeling better about the sitch. If it had been me, I might've made it worse. My mouth can be quite inflammatory.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
so i did the "shimmy" workout on fit tv...
Do they have it online? I need to do some fun workouts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
Going to a conference for work this weekend (the one where I won accommodations at an Inn).
I'm looking forward to this!
Have fun!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valérie.Qc View Post
Went out to a friend's house this morning, just for a coffee... and came back home just in time to make supper. I had DS and DD2 with me.
...
DD1's case have been given to a psy and she will see her next week.
Sounds like the perfect day! Good luck with the psych.

I had an emotionally weird day. Just felt impatient with the world and everyone in it today to a certain degree, but at the same time, I felt in control of that impatience. It was like I was observing my life today. Lately I've been thinking alot about unconditional love and compassion and Kuan Yin and today I went to check out books on yoga (gotta get back into it) and one of the books I was interested in is about Kuan Yin and using yoga to develop compassion and unconditional love! It calls Kuan Yin some other name I've never heard of, tho, so that's what excited me. It's kismet!

I like it when I feel in alignment with the Universe. And, I've been thinking about how so many folks are having a "bad" year and difficult time of it lately and I think it's all about cleansing and realigning energies. We're going thru a major energetic shift in the Universe right now. Things are gonna be fascinatingly out of sorts for a bit, I think.

Personally, 2010 is loads better than 2009 or 2008 for me so I'm enjoying the ride.


Yes, yes.  I'm fabulous. loveeyes.gif  Moving on...

princesstutu is offline  
#329 of 684 Old 08-13-2010, 12:18 AM
 
unschoolinmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Delaware
Posts: 409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hugs to all that need them.

Today was a great day. Dd and I went shopping while ds and dh stayed home and played.

Maia-I am working with a couple that are having a "similar" situation with family and such. I told the wife that there is one thing that actually does work and is okay. Go to bed angry. It's alright. By morning, the chemicals of the brain have time to fizzle out and cool. By morning you are then able to have a calmer demeanor.

I know, I'm the crazy therapist! :P

DeShanna mommy to at home learnin' dd10/03dust.gif, ds 04/05jammin.gif and new baby ds 12/10boc.gif lovin' dh C )O( You can't find peace, until you find all of your pieces.
unschoolinmom is offline  
#330 of 684 Old 08-13-2010, 07:35 AM
 
DaughterOfKali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 12,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I woke up in the middle of the night but forgot to look outside. Oops.

My mom stayed over last night and she has developed a cough. She was coughing occasionally before but she kept trying to say it was allergies. Well, she kept me up last night with her coughing so I'm pretty sure it's not allergies. Sigh.
She was supposed to come with me to the conference. Honestly, I don't want her around if she's sick. I don't want ds to get sick and I don't want to get sick myself.
Plus, I'll never get any sleep at the Inn if she's coughing away.

Independent Consultant- Thirty One Gifts www.mythirtyone.com/ShopLiz

Origami Owl http://lizcioci.origamiowl.com

DaughterOfKali is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off