~*~ August Pagan Familes Circle~*~ - Page 19 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#541 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 09:44 AM
 
Valerie.Qc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in my own pants
Posts: 2,566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
valerie- that looks like a great road map, I'm totally printing it out and sticking it on the fridge and in my wallet!

Torin takes after DH apparently... he's a climber. Oh my, this child is going to be the death of me yet! I think I need to go re-read all those mothering articles about moms with daring children, but I'm not sure it will help. I seem to recall thinking "if my child wanted to climb a tree like that I'd lock them in the car". Yoicks!

We see a cardiologist with my folks today. Not a specialist (it's my dad's regular cardiologist) but apparently there was something "unusual" about the lab work so they wanted to see him right away and DH and I will go to get some info/ask questions. Fingers crossed this is going to be positive news.

Our rose bushes are really taking off! The weather is cool/wet but we finished the trellis (right before we left for Pennsic) and the roses are going to town on it. I can see lots of new growth. So hopefully everyone will make it through the winter and, with a whole growing season on the trellis next year, it'll look amazing.


DD2 is a climber... or a daredevil... What I've found to be true is that kids like that have an amazing sense of where they are in the space and great balance. Ya, I'm collecting grey hairs with her but we're both miserable if/when I try to prevent her from doing what is a natural thing for her. So I'm providing safe space and time for her to indulge in her inclination for the extreme. (hey! she's 5 and no trips to the ER related to accident! That's telling! )

Good vibes for your dad!

And yay for rose bushes!

Valérie   
Valerie.Qc is offline  
#542 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 10:07 AM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think I just need to remind myself that ds is not dd2. With her sensory quirks dd2 likes to climb/move but she has no real sense of her body in space so she doesn't judge things well. She'd climb up the stairs and then fall right off the side because she didn't process the "drop".

And that's the other thing... our house is just not safe. Concrete floors, open walls, pointy tools, etc. It's as safe as possible, and I'm on constant alert (Tor is in lap while I 'net) but regardless, it's not exactly soft corners and pillows. Soon, soon! I know. But I'm guessing that by the time we have those soft corners (or at least wood floors) there wont be any munchkins falling over every 30 seconds.

Apparently Dh was a huge climber. My MIL would find him on top of the Rv or farm tractors, or up one of the giant old apple trees, or hanging off a cliff face (well, "cliff" being 10-12 feet up, but if you're only 18mo that's a serious cliff!). She said he had a total genius for opening doors and windows and just taking off. He is still all about getting out into nature so I'm thinking he may have a hiking buddy in Tor.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#543 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 10:30 AM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valérie.Qc View Post
Things to share about how to survive the summer and fall of 2010...

- remember why you got together and what is important to you (your roots/foundations)
- talk, talk, talk! don't let small things bottering you - address them NOW that they are still small!
- make time for presence
- don't take the other for granted; show your love and your gratitude on a daily basis
- share dreams and projects, small and bigs, short and long terms
- don't take moods (too) personaly - keep in mind that there's energy swirling around
Good stuff, that. I sent it to M

Clay, hang in there. Oh, and we used socks rolled up, taped with duct tape, to the corners of things
I had this wooden coffee table when ds was little, that had sharp, beveled corners, and none of the commercial corner thingies would stay on there. So we had to improvise!

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#544 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 10:44 AM
 
Valerie.Qc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in my own pants
Posts: 2,566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At 18mo, DD2 found her way to a cabinet even I have to climb on the toilet to access... I found her sitting on the counter with things she took from the cabinet in her hands... no clue how she did it!

The top of the refrigerator was also a great view point to her.

She almost reached the roof on DH's ladder (he had gone into the garage to find a tool)


I'm glad most of our trees are pine and she doesn't like to get the sticky sap on her hands.

She's now attempting summersault, hand stands and I fear for her neck. If the teacher agrees, I'll put her in the acrobatics class at her dance school.

She saw a video on Youtube, two young kids doing acrobatic dance (Russian or Ukrenian? east of Europe for sure) and wants to do the same!

Valérie   
Valerie.Qc is offline  
#545 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 11:29 AM
 
Aubergine68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: in the soul's garden
Posts: 2,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Visualizing safety nets woven of light for all the climbing/daredevil kiddos out there.

And healing light for your dad, Clay. Best wishes for the appnt. today.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
Oh, and we used socks rolled up, taped with duct tape, to the corners of things
What a good idea!

Princesstutu, how is the ECing going? Going to be doing some of that here today.


The day before I had actually fully embraced fall and this unusual sun-less summer. I'm so happy to unembrace the idea. It's supposed to be gorgeous all week. I'm going to take the littles on a morning walk around the wetlands.
Oh my, I think my system's having a silly, happy reaction to this long time no see bright orb in the sky. [/SIZE] I'm off to enjoy it![/QUOTE]

Lucky you, FR! We're having below average temps and lots of clouds lately My poor tomatoes are not going to yield well this year, I fear

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
Today is my 16th sobriety anniversary I told M wouldn't it be so cool if we had the same "birthday". He agreed. Now he just needs to get it
Congratulations, Maia! Wishing for you what you wish for yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
picked ds#4 up his first pair of big kid shoes (he has been wearing those soft shoes or soft star shoes. you should see him. he is so funny. i couldn't take them off last nite until he fell asleep. lol he loves them
Aw! I have a little song my grandma taught me that I sing for shoe-obsessed toddlers -- here it is for your ds:

"Little Goodman (or Goody) Two-Shoes
Has a pair of new shoes!
Little Goodman Two-Shoes' shoes are new!
Little Goodman Two-Shoes --
Oh, what handsome (or pretty) new shoes!
No shoes look so new as new shoes do!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by aweynsayl View Post
we're going to move into our place by this weekend, even though it's not "done" or "ready" (imo)... but for reasons beyond our control, it's been made clear that it's time, ready or not... so, we're going to make it happen. i'm going to do this without another nervous breakdown, i am!
Congrats on moving into your new home! Of course you are going to make it happen!

I had an odd dream that I attended a party at your house, attended by all of my most problematic relations. It was mostly in the back yard -- lots of water out there - a pool, hot tub, rainfall *and* a bathtub full of aquarium fish, including one big one that was looking like it was going to eat the others. I was trying to help you put up a fence of chicken wire (?) around the pool. An uncle, the sort who is jovial at parties, learned while he was there that he'd won a lottery prize so he invited the Irish Rovers (??) to play in your yard as a private gig - not a useful gift to the family, as many of us would have to leave before the band could arrive.

I don't know if I was dreaming about my stuff or yours, aweyn, but it was odd to dream about someone I only know online!

I have to go now, but -- Hugs, Aeress! Hang in there!
Aubergine68 is offline  
#546 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 11:44 AM
 
_ktg_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: a house in the suburban jungle.
Posts: 2,151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Good morning everyone! Val - such a wonderful set of reminders! I'm printing it out for my fridge at home!! Must have visual reminders while stuck in the emotional mud sometimes.

Clay - yay for roses and a homemade trellis! And your climber! My boys are going to be the death of me - the bouncing the climbing the fearlessness.

Red - for your dog!

Maia - yay for getting to see M over labor day!

Awyen - for house moving in... it will be good and turn out exceptionally well!

DOK - how is Roo today? More importantly - how are you doing?? to you for being such a strong woman, I hope you are doing well and the sun is smiling on you!!

Aeress - miss you!

Aubergine - re: 1. school I don't think its the program which makes DH nervous, its the "my baby is going to school" concept. He is really a mother hen about the boys and its touching right now. I'm just reinforcing gently why these boys need space to fly and explore - and school is a great thing to do that! I also have said - if J is ever really unhappy, we will pull him. I think though he will love it and won't want to come home
2. Spirit Allies - Oh I call them a variety of things depending on how they come to me. Some are angels, some are relatives (thank you gma helen!), some are animal form (redtail hawks, elephants, deer), or real people moved to be in my path for a reason or another. I also chatter about fairies, gnomes, butterflies to the boys in relation to the earth and especially making them a home in our garden/backyard.


*******
Just in for a quick pop in - work is picking up so I must stay on top of it. We had a slightly restful weekend but lots of canning and weeding of the garden so it was nice to be outside or among the fruits of the earth. I am though up to my eyeballs in cherry tomatoes.

Have to get some more things done on my punch list for the house (vent, patching a hole in a wall) and then off to other projects like hanging shelves, and printing pictures to put in frames (finally!)

Did anyone get to see the moon last night - she was bright! I was about to sit with my ice cream, but got chewed up by mosquitoes instead. I did find a patch of moonlight in my room and just sat there for a bit and breathed. It was soooo nice.

treehugger.gifAnd you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.treehugger.gif

_ktg_ is offline  
#547 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 12:18 PM
 
redveg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Kitchen:)
Posts: 3,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
my mom made some comment about hoping dh's (not nice word for penis) falls off, because he doesn't know how to keep it in his pants. and my dad made the same sort of comment today.
h
(((Hugs))) It's funny how family says things to each other. I wish sometimes family treated family the way they treat friends. I hope your parents think about what they said and apologize for the way they said it. Maybe 6 kids isn't for them but that doesn't give them the go ahead on being rude about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
She did! She did! I am going to see M in 10 days! Oh, mamas, I am so happy and relieved. I was getting to crisis point, y'know?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeress View Post
I feel very disconnected from my hubby right now, the cps thing really brought out some problems that were there but we have been ignoring. I kissed him goodnight last night and realized how I have emotionally removed myself from him so that I wouldn't be mad at him. In truth, I have to admit that I blame him in some ways for what happened. (not to get into details) I know it isn't healthy to blame him. I know I need to work through this and reconnect but so much of my energy has gone into not being mad. Maybe it is time to get mad?
(((Hugs))) I wish I had some good advice. Maybe it's time for a good talk to get everything out in the open so you are not keeping all the anger inside and growing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
my dad- my folks came over this morning. My mom wants dh/I to be the witnesses on a health proxy form. I'm conflicted. My dad isn't well, but neither is she. I don't trust either of them to make well informed medical decisions. We're going to the dr with them tomorrow morning so hopefully we'll find out more of what is happening. We also learned that my dad's dad had a heart attack last week and dh's dad (whom he saw on his trip to Albany this past weekend) is doing poorly. Never rains but it pours.
Wow so much going on for you and your family. (((Hugs)))

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
What I might do is get mad at him, but not to him, at first, if that makes sense. You know-- write a letter, but don't give it. Get all your feelings out on paper-- maybe you won't need to give it to him, or maybe you'll find key points that are more important to address, and others that are not the battles worth picking.
Also, you probably know this, but it always helps to have someone remind you: use "I" statements, and state how you feel, not what he's doing. Remember, when you point a finger, there are 3 pointing back at you And never, EVER bring the whole past into it. Keep it to the issues at hand.
But you know all that, I'm sure




Today is my 16th sobriety anniversary I told M wouldn't it be so cool if we had the same "birthday". He agreed. Now he just needs to get it
Great advice

for your anniversary

Quote:
Originally Posted by aweynsayl View Post

eta: i wasnt going to whine to you with much bigger problems on your plates, but i started freaking out.. so i'm going to unburden myself anyway, lol .... we're going to move into our place by this weekend, even though it's not "done" or "ready" (imo)... but for reasons beyond our control, it's been made clear that it's time, ready or not... so, we're going to make it happen. i'm going to do this without another nervous breakdown, i am!
It will all work out. Moving to a new place, or anything new can be a nail biting experience but it can also be such a wonderful, exciting experience. That's the one I am thinking of for you

Quote:
Originally Posted by Valérie.Qc View Post
Things to share about how to survive the summer and fall of 2010...

- remember why you got together and what is important to you (your roots/foundations)
- talk, talk, talk! don't let small things bottering you - address them NOW that they are still small!
- make time for presence
- don't take the other for granted; show your love and your gratitude on a daily basis
- share dreams and projects, small and bigs, short and long terms
- don't take moods (too) personaly - keep in mind that there's energy swirling around

That's how we are doing it. Time will tell if we have it right.
I love this I am printing it out too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by _ktg_ View Post

Red - for your dog!


Did anyone get to see the moon last night - she was bright! I was about to sit with my ice cream, but got chewed up by mosquitoes instead. I did find a patch of moonlight in my room and just sat there for a bit and breathed. It was soooo nice.
Thank you mama My dog is doing better. Vet sys she has a lot of life left in her. I was so worried she was going to have to put her down today.

I got a brief second to see her last night. I am hoping to spend so time outside tonight.

earth.gif lovin, treehugger.gif  veggie

redveg is offline  
#548 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 01:23 PM
 
femme_rouge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: exploring my heart
Posts: 1,018
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Mamas- a quicky check in before I'm off for the day. Yesterday was just beyond gorgeous! I am so grateful. Spent the whole day out with the kiddos. First a lovely long walk, then the park, then the beach, then our sunny, happy yard and garden. Today's a beauty too. Yippee!

Aubergine- unfortunately, my tomotoes are in the same state due to the lack of sun here this summer. However, it is never "easy" to grow them here on the cool coast, so I'm not too upset about it. All our cool crops are doing great. Do you have some things that are producing?

Gotta run. Happy Anniversary Maia!!! Congratulations

dust.gifloving magick mama to DD(7) flower.gif and DS (5) Bolt.gifLife partner DP blueman.gif  earth.gif )0( treehugger.gif
femme_rouge is offline  
#549 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 02:49 PM
 
DaughterOfKali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 12,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by _ktg_ View Post
DOK - how is Roo today? More importantly - how are you doing?? to you for being such a strong woman, I hope you are doing well and the sun is smiling on you!!

Did anyone get to see the moon last night - she was bright!
Aw, thank you so much for your kind words.

Ds is sleepy today. He's still coughing occasionally.
I'm all around wiped out. I'm so stressed out over stuff that I'm sore all over. I would love a good massage. There's a place near me (Massage Envy) near me that offers the first massage for only $39 but I can't even swing that right now. I have to figure out how to buy Roo some new pants and socks for school. And a backpack (he wants Ben 10, of course.)

Plus, I should be getting my moon time today or tomorrow. So everything seems amplified.

Didn't see the moon. It's been raining, raining, raining. We needed rain but now there's too much and plants are going to start to drown!

Shhhh...Do you hear that? I think I hear chocolate calling.

Independent Consultant- Thirty One Gifts www.mythirtyone.com/ShopLiz

Origami Owl http://lizcioci.origamiowl.com

DaughterOfKali is offline  
#550 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 04:38 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post
Congratulations, Maia! Wishing for you what you wish for yourself
Aww, thank you! And thanks to everybody for all the "birthday" wishes I'm going to get my 16 year medallion tomorrow

Quote:
I don't know if I was dreaming about my stuff or yours, aweyn, but it was odd to dream about someone I only know online!
Now that's a weird dream

Quote:
Originally Posted by redveg View Post
Great advice

for your anniversary

My dog is doing better.
Thank you, about the advice and the anniversary And yay about your doggie!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
I would love a good massage. There's a place near me (Massage Envy) near me that offers the first massage for only $39 but I can't even swing that right now. I have to figure out how to buy Roo some new pants and socks for school. And a backpack (he wants Ben 10, of course.)
Me, too. I really need a massage. I think maybe in the next day or so I am going to go to the health food stores and see if there's anyone doing chair massage. They usually charge $1/minute so I can at least get 10 minutes of shoulders done, maybe.
I get ds's clothes through Freecycle or Goodwill Thankfully he doesn't need any right now. Plus when we get up to MA I will have to re-evaluate "winter clothes"-- I haven't lived up north for so long I forgot what winter really means. Two years ago we were in upstate NY, and I put two pairs of socks on DS so he could go outside, and his winter boots, plus a ski suit and a couple of sweaters, but his poor feet were still blue and purple and soaking wet when he came in They don't make winter boots in the south the same way as they do up north, either.

My ds is way, way into Ben10 too. Tomorrow's his first day of school! Yay also that his backpack from last year is in good shape. And the lunch boxes. I am so wanting to get new ones but I am forcing my efficient, functional, reduce-reuse-recycle self to keep all the old ones.

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#551 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 05:01 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Home from the dr... my dad has pancreatitis and diabetes. This on top of the congestive heart failure. He has asked that my dad drop 50-80lbs, added niacin and a statin to his list of meds, gave him a glucometer and a blood sugar med (can't recall the name and my mom has the paperwork) with the goal of avoiding insulin for now and only checking blood sugar levels once or twice a day max. He has a 'script to visit the hospital dietician and he starts a "life skills" physical therapy program in September.

I'm a bit numb. He isn't even 60! And most of his family live well into the 90s. Heck, his parents are in better shape than he is right now.

It's a cool, grey day and normally that would perk me up a bit (I lurve me my grey autumn days!) but right now I'm just chilly and bleh. I could use either a huge gully whumper of a thunder storm or a brilliant blue sky sunny day.

On the up side, Ro is rockin' the world of potty training. She even went (on the "big potty") while we were out. And she isn't withholding any more so huzzah! We wont need to cash in our final refill of the 'scription laxatives and she's in a much happier mood. Her "reward" for a potty delivery are chocolate covered prunes. Genius!

And at the half off thrift day I found a lovely little tea pot and 4 matching tea cups. It was made in the china of long ago... delicate little round cups that fit in the palm of my hand and the tea pot is about the size of a softball? Not big, but sweet with a pattern of soft red and blue flowers... very "soft focus", not realistic, but pretty. And since it was half off day the whole set was just 5 dollars. So not in the budget, but not a huge ding.

climbing- so during a few minutes while my mom was here and I was bustling around Torin moved his toolbench up against the cedar chest... he climed onto the toolbench, then onto the chest, then from the chest onto the music ledge of the piano, and when I looked back he was trying to throw his leg up onto the top of the piano! ACK!!!!!!!!! I walked sllllllooooowly and with much pleasant chatter over to the piano and lifted him down (when he is surprised he throws himself backwards and that was NOT what I wanted ). He is one. He is a fairly new walker. And he climbed up the piano? Oh dear gods and little green apples. I don't want a fridge top baby!

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#552 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 05:13 PM
 
DaughterOfKali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 12,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
Home from the dr... my dad has pancreatitis and diabetes. This on top of the congestive heart failure. >SNIP<
I'm a bit numb. He isn't even 60!
Oh no. I hope he can lose the weight and become healthy again.

Potty training: Yay for Ro!

Independent Consultant- Thirty One Gifts www.mythirtyone.com/ShopLiz

Origami Owl http://lizcioci.origamiowl.com

DaughterOfKali is offline  
#553 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 05:39 PM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
Home from the dr... my dad has pancreatitis and diabetes. This on top of the congestive heart failure.

On the up side, Ro is rockin' the world of potty training.

He is one. He is a fairly new walker. And he climbed up the piano? Oh dear gods and little green apples. I don't want a fridge top baby!
Oh no, about your dad That's terrible news, Clay. I hope he can get some health back and is open and willing to try.

Yay, though, about the potty training! Brilliant with the prunes And ye gods about Tor climbing. Breathe, mama

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#554 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 06:50 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
clay: as bad as that news is, if your dad is willing, with exercise and diet change he can reverse alot of this. even some of his heart disease. even losing 10-20 lbs can really help with early type 2 diabetes. i should see if i can find some of my info on that stuff and send you links.

well i don't think the uti is gone. i wish i could just hold out until we get insurance but i feel so cruddy that i might just have to go in and suck it up and spend $400.00 for all of $15.00 worth of stuff and 2 minutes of a doctor's time. THIS is why we need a better health care system! grrrr!

h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#555 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 08:44 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ahhhh... I should mention.... my dad had a quad bipass several years ago. He suffered brain damage as a result of the prolonged time on the heart/lung bipass machine coupled with a series of microstrokes that were probably triggered by the surgery. He went from being a dean, author, and professor at an Ivy League university and a certified polymath genius (had dozens of languages, mulitple degrees in mathematics/philosophy/paleontology/geology, wrote textbooks on several subjects, led natural history and citizen science programs, directed military mathematics/code programs, etc) to hardly being able to read Dr Suess to his grandchildren and barely able to walk. This resulted in severe depression. My mom refused to get treatment for him for several years (trusting to prayer/faith) during which time his condition spiraled out of control (into paranoia, agoraphobia, extreme delusions, etc). He also had an adverse reaction to statin medications that resulted in further cognative disability. He has been hospitalized for suicide attempts and perscription drug overdoses (due to his inability to "remember" things, like whether or not he has taken his meds).

So it's a bit more complicated than just the heart disease, pancreatitis, and diabetes. He can't remember that he has just eaten and eats bizarre things... he has eaten bags of dried beans in the middle of the night because "they're crunchy", or 10-12 apples in a row because he forgets that he just ate. He wont go out, wont socialize, wont go to the senior center.... and my mom wont admit publically that there is anything wrong and refuses to take part in any respite programs or programs where people might "find out" about my dad's condition. Her own mental health issues and her generational beliefs about sin/health kind of have her in a bind. It's been a HUGE hurt for me because there just isn't much I can do... but everyone seems to think I /should/ be able to fix this. I've been in therapy myself as a result of all this...

So today's news is jsut kind of the icing on the cake...

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#556 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 09:26 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
clay that is alot! your poor dad, what a mess. and your poor mom.
please do not be hard on yourself, there really is only so much you can do to help, especially if your mom isn't willing to get outside help.


so would you get chickens if you were renting? we can have up to three here in town. we have owned hens before, and i just love them. our back yard is PERFECT for a few hens. a big shade tree, lots of little things for them to nibble on and a great place to put a coop. and if the owner ever came by and didn't like it, dh's bro and wife would take them.


h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#557 of 684 Old 08-24-2010, 09:46 PM
 
Valerie.Qc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: in my own pants
Posts: 2,566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(((((Clay)))))

Valérie   
Valerie.Qc is offline  
#558 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 12:47 AM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sometimes i wish i had married a man who could see all we are blessed with...


h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#559 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 08:24 AM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
So it's a bit more complicated than just the heart disease, pancreatitis, and diabetes.

<snip>It's been a HUGE hurt for me because there just isn't much I can do... but everyone seems to think I /should/ be able to fix this. I've been in therapy myself as a result of all this...
Oh, Clay HUGE hugs, mama. I'm so sorry. Honey, it's not your fault. I can see how utterly helpless you feel, and I don't blame you. I guess just love him up as much as you're able, in the meanwhile, and breathe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
so would you get chickens if you were renting?
Yep. If I could, and was willing to take care of them
There isn't much I wouldn't do if I was renting. It's my house, while I'm paying for it, even if it doesn't really belong to me. That's what security deposit is for. Hopefully you have a nice landlord

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
sometimes i wish i had married a man who could see all we are blessed with...

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#560 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 08:50 AM
 
witchygrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Clay, I'm so sorry. That has got to be so hard. I'm watching my great-uncle decline, and while he's much older than your dad and not nearly in as rough a shape, it's still hard to watch a man who was so brilliant now think that loading a dishwasher properly is his great achievement. to you. I wish I had the answer for you.

mof3, I'm sorry, too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
DH had his interview yesterday, and he said it went as well as it possibly could have. There are 3 other people vying for it, and we'll find out by the end of the week. Mamas, we both want this so bad. It won't pay nearly enough, but it would be a foot in the door at a really fabulous school.

Come ponder with me about food!
witchygrrl is offline  
#561 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 09:59 AM
 
redveg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Kitchen:)
Posts: 3,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh Clay. (((Hugs))) to you and your family.

earth.gif lovin, treehugger.gif  veggie

redveg is offline  
#562 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 10:23 AM
 
Aeress's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Neat the Shores of Lake Erie
Posts: 6,501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Clay- *hugs*

Err, had a whole post and reply ready and hit the darn key and poof it disappeared. Well, I will have to come back to it, time to get the kids going with school work.

thinking of all this morning

Dhjammin.gif, Me knit.gif, DD 10 REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, DD 7 cat.gif, DD 4 joy.gif

We reading.gif, homeschool.gif, cold.gif, eat.gif, sleepytime.gif not in that order

Aeress is offline  
#563 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 10:45 AM
 
Maiasaura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Here, because I'm not all there.
Posts: 5,098
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aeress, I so hate when that happens! The other day, it was my fault, not the internet's-- I hit the delete key on my keyboard instead of the reply key on MDC


Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post
DH had his interview yesterday, and he said it went as well as it possibly could have. There are 3 other people vying for it, and we'll find out by the end of the week. Mamas, we both want this so bad. It won't pay nearly enough, but it would be a foot in the door at a really fabulous school.
You know, though, a foot in the door is really a good thing compared to the money, IMO.
M had to take a cut in pay in order to have a job at all, recently (remember he was on unemployment? and he got hired just in the last week of his benefits?) and he's making a lousy $13/hour-- he's worth $30! But I told him, there are WAY better benefits besides the money, and when I pointed them out, he reluctantly agreed
His health insurance kicks in on the 9th, I think

LOTS of good job wishes for your DH, witchy!

I found a really cool thing I can do for a job. I'm not going to apply yet, as I don't need a job yet, but it's like a home health aide of some sort-- kind of like CNA but not doing CNA things, just hanging with old people, helping with laundry, dishes, cooking, shopping, and being a companion-- and here, it pays only slightly less than CNA! And I do believe the hours are flexible. I can do it during school hours!
Plus, this company, they have it in MA, too! I would love that. It sounds so fun. I like old people

8 days till I see my love again

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

Maiasaura is offline  
#564 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 10:51 AM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd go for chickens if you want them and you have a backup plan.

One of the books I got for Tor's birthday is "Ooops" by David Shannon. I was looking through it the other day and it's just perfect. I don't actually like most of the Diaper David books but this one is just so "Torin". The book is a baby's first words format, one word per page... so the first page is BALL, but the picture is of the baby looking through the hole in the window made by the ball. And then you have DOG which is the dog, covered in mac/cheese. Or WHEEEEEE with baby on a tryke. And eventually (after a half dozen more words) MAMA, which is baby dead asleep on mama's shoulder. It's really adorable and completely not a book I would have liked pre-Tor.

Holiday gift planning- so, I came across a couple of ideas that I'm mushing together into a single holiday gift and I thought I'd share so other families can borrow the idea if they like. Basically, I'm going to make lap quilts! I'll have the kiddos draw pictures on inexpensive muslin fabric with fabric markers. Then I'll stitch the muslin along 12/12 inch dividing lines to make 'squares' and create the quilted effect (probably use a thrift store fleece blanket as the "fill", or possibly I'll pick up some fleece for this purpose since it's on off-season sale now). The final product will be about four feet by four feet, the perfect size for a lap blanket or snuggle blanket, and the pattern will probably alternate squares with kiddo art and squares with kiddo handprints/footprints. I'm thinking that we could make these for the grandparents and great grandparents. The muslin is roughly 2 dollars a yard, the fleece is about 3 dollars a yard (blankets at our thrift store are about 5 dollars each).

Other than that we're going to "give" honeybees through Heifer International and accompany the donation with a jar of local honey (so there is something to unwrap).

I'm stumped on gifts for the kids though... we usually exchange handmade gifts or special gifts at Yule, then open gifts from extended family members on Christmas, and have a few handmade goodies from La Befana on Epiphany. And I'm drawing a blank! Laia likes dinos and space, Ro likes long sleeves/hugalugs, and Tor likes tools.... hmmmm...

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#565 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 11:07 AM
 
Aubergine68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: in the soul's garden
Posts: 2,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Aw, Clay There is just *no* way to make sense of something so terrible happening to an individual, to a family. Hopefully your mom will be able to take the supports that ore offered to your dad now, to make those tools truly work for your dad. And for herself.

You are such a strong and calm person, and you always seem to deal with adversity with such intelligence and such a sense of humor...I can see why people in your life look to you for support. It must have been a great relief to your mom and dad to have you with them for that appointment. I really believe that when you show the medical establishment that the patient has a united and involved family, then the patient gets better care, at least more courteous and humane care ( to that UAV doctor your dad saw before!). It was well done, mama.

I know in my own life I have found it very, very hard to get past the feeling that I have to be everyone's caregiver and caretaker when people who used to take care of me have begun to fail. A few people have reminded me now and then that my own health and the needs of my own marriage and children *have* to come first or I will be no good to anyone. Looking back, I feel that that reminder has truly helped me, so I'm passing it on to you. Wishing you balance and peace, dear Clay!

Sending good thoughts for your dh's interview, wytchy!

I have to pack up 6 kids and head to an appnt for my dd's homeschooling program. Going to be a busy morning!
Aubergine68 is offline  
#566 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 12:44 PM
 
femme_rouge's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: exploring my heart
Posts: 1,018
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Clay- I'm so sorry for you, your dad and your family. You are a great support to them.

Aweyn-Hoping all's well with the move-in. Ready or not here you go! It will all work out. There's is plenty of time, and it is ok to do things slowly in stages.

Aubergine-Wow! Heading out with 6 kiddos! You're amazing. I feel so accomplished spending the day out with my 4 & 6 yo who are pretty easy going. My mama gene has been growing in a bit at a time.

Maia- That job does sound great. I bet you'd be fantastic doing something like that.

witchy- Hoping your DH gets the foot in.

Mo3- I would love some chickens. If our yard was fenced, I would do it.

DoK-Sending healthy vibes to you and Roo. I'm in the red tent right now, and I always get caught off guard by my emotions before. Then I start, and the light bulb goes on. At least you have better awareness than me during this time. Seriously, I ought to set an alarm on my phone or something. I hope you find a way to get a massage soon. One thing I do is use a kid's rubber ball-like the kind at mainstream grocery stores in the big wire cage? Anyway, I lay on my back on the ground and put the ball at the top of my back and gently roll the ball down by scooting up with my feet (engaging your abs is important). My back and shoulder pain feels so much better after doing this. It's just a thought.

Cari- Missing your fun posts and hoping everything is going well with you and all your boys.

Sorry I couldn't get to everyone. I'm out of time, but I'm definitely sending love and happiness to all

Off to enjoy our 4th day in a row of sunshine!

dust.gifloving magick mama to DD(7) flower.gif and DS (5) Bolt.gifLife partner DP blueman.gif  earth.gif )0( treehugger.gif
femme_rouge is offline  
#567 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 02:36 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
witchy: fingers crossed!

maia: there is this woman i know in maine who does something like that! she loves it. she goes to this womans house everyday (7 days a week) for 2-3 hours and helps her out, she said it is th best job she has ever had. the woman and her hit it off and it doesn't bug her at all that she works 7 days a week (of course it is only 20 hours a week). it could end up being a great job! good luck with that.

clay: nice idea!
after reading "Three Cups of Tea" i have decided that we are getting a copy for every family and then donating money to the CAI in their honor. i think i have said before that no one in either dh or my family likes homemade gifts and honestly i am not buying people who have everything and then some more stuff. i would rather send the money to children for schools in the middle east. it is so amazing to me how so little money in other parts of the world can make such a HUGE difference. $500.00 is an annual teachers salary. you can build a 4 room school house for less then $20,000. put in a pumping station for fresh water for about $2000.00. you can send a child to school for a whole year for about $100.00. i wish we had $20,000 to send. lol

h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
#568 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 04:26 PM
 
wombatclay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: running the red queen's race
Posts: 14,143
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love the book/gift idea! We generally do dontation/gifts for most family members (also not a big "hand made gift" group) but the grandparentes/great grands get home made (or rather, kiddo made) items. And you're right about the difference a small sum can make. It's amazing. And humbling.

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
 mama to lady.gif(4/05), hearts.gif(6/07vbac), diaper.gif(8/09vbac), and babygirl.gif (9/11vbac)

wombatclay is offline  
#569 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 06:07 PM
 
unschoolinmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Delaware
Posts: 409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry I haven't been on here. FB and online school have been taking up my time computer wise.

Clay I'm sending major hugs to you, your dad, and family.

I'll PM that spell tonight, I promise!

I am really bothered by this anemia problem. I'm nervous about the results of the blood work I had done yesterday. I'll find out Wednesday. I'm doing Floradix three times a day now and went to Trader Joe's yesterday to grab a ton more high iron foods. I know I need to watch out for calcium, but what can I take to get the calcium I need?

I hope they figure this out, because if I can't get my hemoglobin up to 10 in five weeks, I'm not having this baby at the birth center like I wanted.

DeShanna mommy to at home learnin' dd10/03dust.gif, ds 04/05jammin.gif and new baby ds 12/10boc.gif lovin' dh C )O( You can't find peace, until you find all of your pieces.
unschoolinmom is offline  
#570 of 684 Old 08-25-2010, 06:12 PM
 
mamaofthree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
maybe do the OJ with calcium in it. can you do dairy at all? yogurt and cheese might help also and leafy greens are good too. almonds are good also (i hear) and fortified tofu. maybe doing a smoothy with greens and yogurt and fruit?

h

mama to 6 amazing children joy.gif married to my main man for 21 years love.gif and finally home FULL time dishes.gifhang.gifknit.gif

mamaofthree is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off