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#661 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 01:17 PM
 
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having had depression myself, i hate to say it... but he pisses me off. he wallows, does NOTHING, complains, is angry and then goes to bed. he only shows his "happy side" when someone else is here. i freaking hate it.
i am going to the library to pick up "The Mood Cure" which really helped me, i will do the reading, get the vitamins, set the whole thing up, encourage him to go running, make good healthy food for him to eat, get him to bed early... and he will do nothing. you know when i was dealing with my depression, i had to do all of that. i had to make myself better. i had to keep going and keep living because i had kids and a family and a life i wanted to live. i wanted to be HAPPY. i wanted to feel better. i hated the anxiety, the stress, and suicidal thoughts. i wanted to feel good again. i found a counsler, i worked really hard. i can't stand it that he just does nothing.
i have been dealing with a UTI for weeks now, and now i have a cold, and i have to deal with the kids, help sis with homework, cook all the meals, do all the house work, plan anything if i want to get out of the house... and then DO IT ALL ALONE, and he does nothing. i want to feel bad for him, but the guy can't even make me a sandwich on the weekend. makes himself a big lunch eats it right in front of me, and leaves me a mess. i am so mad today... i was mad yesterday too. after our fight on sunday, i just... i can't take it. he may just be coming around to the fact that he is depressed, BUT I HAVE KNOW IT FOR 2 YEARS! i have had to keep this family a float and in a semi good space for years now. i hate when i can't wait for monday so i know he will be gone. and i hate looking at the clock and seeing it is almost time for him to come home and being sad about it.

sorry for the rant. i just have much to do and my husband doesn't even care enough about us to get better.

h

s

my DH iis depressed too. he knows it and drinks it away. every time we have a talk about it he acknolwedges he has a problem. tell me i am right and should quit, then never does anything about it. i am gong to start al anon meetings. i cant take it anymore. i dont want a divorce but he is taking me down with him. after 7 years, he has made an improvement but iit is never enough for me i feel your pain.

Me,DH,DS1'95, '98,DSD'03,DD1'07,DD2'09,DS2'12 Living with Fructose Malabsorption Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3-Hypermobility.)o( and sometimes I get toif I am lucky.
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#662 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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Maia, last I heard Earl isn't supposed to get here until Friday.

Well school has started for ds. My doctor says I am healthy (despite my body). And I start college classes this week (even though I don't have books yet).

I've given up on having my kiddo take the bus to school. I had to call 3 different offices to finally get the schedule and learned that it comes when I would normally leave to drop him off at school. Pfft, this means we'll be waiting around the 5 (probably longer) minutes it takes me to drop him off at school myself and head on to work. So not worth it. He'll get dropped off by the buss and walk to the grandparents' house (across the street) at the end of the day. So he is half a bus student.

I can't believe it's the last day of August, I , hm hm, need to get my car's emissions and get it registered in the next couple days. No idea when, but I'll make it happen some how.

Thinking of you all.

My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
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#663 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 01:34 PM
 
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sorry for the rant. i just have much to do and my husband doesn't even care enough about us to get better.

Don't be sorry, mama. This is where you can rant.

I kwym, too. I am an alcoholic and my sweetie is still active, and I am SO frustrated by it. I want to just swat him upside the head. Doesn't the possibility of pancreatitis scare him into getting help? Doesn't the knowledge that he got his true love back motivate? Nope. And the worst part is, I know that alcoholism is alcoholism...it's a disease that tells us we don't have a disease, and it's utterly helpless and hopeless. Until it's not. Sigh.

It hurts so much worse when we have the illness our sweeties have, and we've done so much work to get through and past it, and they won't/don't/can't.

Lioness-- good call on Al-anon. They'll send you free literature, too, if you want. Check out their website. My mom used to be secretary to the head honcho over in Va.Beach before she retired. Good folks, there.

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#664 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 01:35 PM
 
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hugs to the sisters with depressed partners. I can't imagine, that's got to be so hard. DH runs to the more depressed side of things (I lean optimistic, he's more pessimistic) and I have a hard time with that, and its well within normal range of living. I wouldn't be very sympathetic with a depressed partner, Im afraid. Not that you shouldn't be, that sounded bad, I just know that I struggle with having compassion for people who suffer depression, even dear friends, especially when they act like I just "have it easier" or am happy all the time. I risk offending someone now, and aI don't want to so i'll shut up...


It's my birthday today! I'm 29 now, so I think I'll stop. Naw, I don't mind aging. Seems silly to rejoice in the changing of seasons and not accept the ones inherent to life.

And now I am off to a bust day with my kiddo! See y'all!

Shelley, mom to dd 5/19/01, ds 9/06/02, and ds 4/01/07.  Lost babe 4/09

belly.gifDue 12/18/12!

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#665 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 02:04 PM
 
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Oh momof3-I get this from dh quite a bit. He is happier when dp is here but we get very irritated with his "blame everyone else but himself" attitude.

We tried counseling, everything. I finally sat with divorce papers in my lap and he realized i was done. I told him as long as he acted like a spoiled child I would treat him as such. When he would get his comic books to hide, then treat everyone like crap I would take said comic book and make him watch me cut it up in front of him.

I've even put him in time out. He's calmed now because I guess I'm a bit meaner than I look. I remember when I told the counselor about it, he chuckled and said good for me then asked dh how it felt to him. He said it upset him (he threw a tantrum actually the first few times) but it brought life into perspective. I wish I was closer hon, we could hang out *hugs*

Happy Birthday Millie!

DeShanna mommy to at home learnin' dd10/03dust.gif, ds 04/05jammin.gif and new baby ds 12/10boc.gif lovin' dh C )O( You can't find peace, until you find all of your pieces.
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#666 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 02:05 PM
 
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:Birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY MILLIE!!!

treehugger.gifAnd you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.treehugger.gif

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#667 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 02:08 PM
 
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Happy birthday Millie!

Be pretty! Be practical! Be Pagan! Visit Pagan Hearth & Home!
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#668 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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I grabbed some really cute crafts from the store for school. The kids start tomorrow. I got one of those solar system things that you paint.

I'm really getting kicked by the baby. It's pretty cool. The kids start up dance school on the 10th. Going to be really busy this year

DeShanna mommy to at home learnin' dd10/03dust.gif, ds 04/05jammin.gif and new baby ds 12/10boc.gif lovin' dh C )O( You can't find peace, until you find all of your pieces.
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#669 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 02:59 PM
 
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quick question--- are there any things (other than broom) i'm NOT supposed to move to the new house??? i'm thinking herbs and such? i'm not bringing candles that began burning here... but i keep wondering about other things. i'd wanted to only take clean things, but that's not going to happen...


happy birthday, young one!

hugs to all dealing with depression. sending peaceful vibes your way....


<itsalmostseptemberitsalmostseptemeritsalmostsepte mber>
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#670 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 03:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Millie Ivy View Post
It's my birthday today! I'm 29 now, so I think I'll stop. Naw, I don't mind aging.


Happy birthday! Aging...pshaw. I'm going to be 51 in November. 29 is a baby
Actually, I stressed so much about turning 30 that it was 29 that I worried about, so 30 was an anticlimax by comparison
I think every decade just gets better and better. 50 is incredible. Of course, falling back in love helps

Indigo-- I've been trying to track the storm on the 'net. I don't have cable. What a pain!
But yeah, it's looking like maybe Earl will be cruising the NC coast by Thursday, which means my flight should be fine, and then hitting Boston by Friday
I'm still prepared to jet out of here tomorrow, if things look to change. M has no idea. Oh well

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

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#671 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 04:01 PM
 
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I hope I haven't been bugging anyone. I feel like I've been a burden and if so, sorry. I am pretty sick with an icky head cold. As much as I hate medicine, I need to sleep and having congestion is making that impossible.

Anyway, hope you mamas are having a good day. Maia, let me know if you still want that spell.

DeShanna mommy to at home learnin' dd10/03dust.gif, ds 04/05jammin.gif and new baby ds 12/10boc.gif lovin' dh C )O( You can't find peace, until you find all of your pieces.
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#672 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 04:23 PM
 
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Thanks for the birthday wishes. My best friend gave me these today at our coffee date.
Not new, lol. She found them at a thrift store (!!!) for 25 bucks and they just baaaaarely fit.

I've been drooling over Fluevogs for years now, this style especially. Vog on, baby.

Shelley, mom to dd 5/19/01, ds 9/06/02, and ds 4/01/07.  Lost babe 4/09

belly.gifDue 12/18/12!

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#673 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 05:57 PM
 
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millie: happy birthday! and those shoes are GREAT! i love them.
the birthday that was hardest for me was 33. i felt like 1/3 of my life was over... what had i done? very weird. lol now i will be 38 on the 6 of sept and i feel so good. lol

thanks for all the hugs. i feel grateful dh doesn't have an addiction on top of the depression... he just wallows, and is moody. the last few days have just been ruff. could be my hormones on top of everything, but i keep thinking about it and getting more angry, and then i start pulling up old issues... which isn't good. i need to stay focused on what is going on now. talked to a dear friend on the phone for a bit today and that helped. thankfully we get insurance on wednesday and i am going to encourage him to find someone to talk to. i know depression doesn't have to make sense... but when i look at his life, i just get disgusted by the fact that he can't be happy in it. like what are you so depressed about? you have a GREAT job that pays really well they love you there. you have 5 healthy happy kids, a wife who loves you dearly, he is healthy (other than mentally), he eats well, has a roof over his head, clean running water, friends, a loving family that is close by... oh you poor thing. how do you manage each day? lol i know bitchy sorry. i know my depression made no sense, that is why i worked so hard to get thru it. i still love him so much it hurts. i want my happy man back, my confident man. i don't really like this new guy.
ok all done with that.

SO you can't move a broom with you? how did i not know this? i loved my broom from maine and so it came with us. lol maybe that is our problem? lol


h

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#674 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 06:45 PM
 
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my broom moved with us. i used it to sweep up all the good stuff from the last place and came to the new place and spread the good stuff around while sweeping out the old peoples stuff. is that not how it works

Me,DH,DS1'95, '98,DSD'03,DD1'07,DD2'09,DS2'12 Living with Fructose Malabsorption Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3-Hypermobility.)o( and sometimes I get toif I am lucky.
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#675 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 08:01 PM
 
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lioness: LOL i love this! ok that is what i did.

h

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#676 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 08:06 PM
 
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Happy Birthday Millie!

Momofthree: switch from DH to DD and you are in my shoes. It's not easier with a child than a spouse.


We have another crisis here... DD1 is upset and DH is gone I don't know where... I'm tired and just want all this drama to come to an end, is it too much to ask?

Off to try to get DD2 in bed... She says she's not tired (not true, I see the "signs") but I need some undisturbed time that won't happen before she's in bed.

Valérie   
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#677 of 684 Old 08-31-2010, 11:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey mamas... sorry I've been awol for a few days. Been busy with outings for the boys with schoolwork and stuff... and doing a few things for hubby's birthday today.

I don't usually do this except in extreme circumstances... but some good vibes from around the globe would be handy right about now. DH got a call to meet the boss after work today, he was told that his contract is terminated as of tomorrow. He will get paid for the 2 wks just worked, plus 2 weeks as severance pay. SO please send good job vibes our way, we're gonna need them. There was no hint that his job was in jeopardy, but there are a lot of changes being made in the company so there you have it

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#678 of 684 Old 09-01-2010, 09:48 AM
 
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Cari- sending you lots of love, support and new job for hubby vibes!! *hugs*

Millie- sorry I missed your birthday! Those shoes look awesome, hope you get to wear them to something fun and exciting!

It has been a tough day or two, and I was so looking for a break but my mom isn't taking the kids after all (well not overnight).

Lioness- *hugs*

Mamaofthree- *hugs*

Aweyn- The only thing I knew not to bring was my old broom. I couldn't afford to replace all my herbs but I might buy some new ones that are the most used. So maybe basil, oregano, mint etc.
Thinking of you!

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#679 of 684 Old 09-01-2010, 10:32 AM
 
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lioness: LOL i love this! ok that is what i did.

h


Quote:
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Hey mamas... sorry I've been awol for a few days. Been busy with outings for the boys with schoolwork and stuff... and doing a few things for hubby's birthday today.

I don't usually do this except in extreme circumstances... but some good vibes from around the globe would be handy right about now. DH got a call to meet the boss after work today, he was told that his contract is terminated as of tomorrow. He will get paid for the 2 wks just worked, plus 2 weeks as severance pay. SO please send good job vibes our way, we're gonna need them. There was no hint that his job was in jeopardy, but there are a lot of changes being made in the company so there you have it

that is totally not cool. at least you will get some severance pay . hope he finds something new quick




why arent we supposed to bring old stuff with us? i bring all my old stuff. brooms ( i have a special broom i've had for at least 10 years). cant all the energy of the stuff be cleared and recharged?

Me,DH,DS1'95, '98,DSD'03,DD1'07,DD2'09,DS2'12 Living with Fructose Malabsorption Syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3-Hypermobility.)o( and sometimes I get toif I am lucky.
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#680 of 684 Old 09-01-2010, 10:46 AM
 
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Morning

Cari, Hugs to you and your family. I will be thinking about you and sending job finding vibes your way asap!

Aweyn, I don't bring my broom, I have been known to leave a vacuum behind too. When I can't afford to leave the vacuum I bring it in the new place through a window. Might be some old family superstition because I can't remember why the window??

MO3, Hugs. Depression is such a difficult issue to get through for all involved.

Millie, Happy Birthday

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#681 of 684 Old 09-01-2010, 10:49 AM
 
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why arent we supposed to bring old stuff with us? i bring all my old stuff. brooms ( i have a special broom i've had for at least 10 years). cant all the energy of the stuff be cleared and recharged?
I bring decorative brooms with me, just not the ones I use to sweep the house with. I don't bring mine because I don't want to bring any of the negative energy from the old place. I guess I might reconsider if there were really good times had while I was there?

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#682 of 684 Old 09-01-2010, 11:01 AM
 
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I'd actually never heard of not bringing stuff from the old place for symbolic reasons either. Since this subject came up earlier this month, I decided I could actually use a new broom and went out and bought one.

I guess I did something similar symbolically though, last time we moved. I decided I *could* *not* bear using our old broken vacuum any more and insisted that we buy a new vacuum for our new home. We got a cute little red Miele and it is still going strong a decade later. Helps that we ripped all the carpets out, but it still gets used once a week or so.

Hugs, aweyn -- I know it is complicated for you - but hey, you are finally settling in to your home on your own! The love and creativity you, your dh and ds share will fill the place and overcome anything negative.

Thinking good thoughts for those of you dealing with depression and/or addiction in the family.

ETA just peeked back on the last page and found posts I missed. Cari for manifesting an even better situation for your dh asap! Take care of yourself, mama - this stuff hits you in the gut. Be gentle with yourself.
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#683 of 684 Old 09-01-2010, 11:13 AM
 
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Well, Mamas, looks like Earl is going to stay near NC over the next couple of days. My old friends from when I lived there are posting on Facebook about evacuating, the current state of the vibes over there, etc. Makes me kind of miss the days when I lived there. Hurricanes are so exciting to be in the middle of! I love severe weather.
But I'm UBER-glad this one is staying the heck away from Boston. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to see M tomorrow!

Cari-- ugh. I posted to your FB. Happy birthday Daim, but they just totally did him wrong on all accounts I hope this opens the door to something even better for him and your family

Brooms: I never bring brooms to new places. Except for my hand broom (dust broom? What do you call it; I forgot?) which I love and I consider to have lots of good energy in it, and my swiffer wet thingy which I lurve too, cause a friend taught me how to make an essential oil blend instead of using the toxic crud that comes with it
My vacuum-- I love that thing. My mom bought it for me. It was like a $400+ vacuum, but it was mismarked at Walmart and I got it for like $250 or so, after a hassle with the management I really need to take it to the vacuum place and have it serviced.

Happy September! Did anyone start a new thread yet? Maybe I should go start one?

Me treehugger.gif Handfasted wife to M  geek.gif as of 3/7/10 , and Mama to R  reading.gif (1/31/01) luxlove.gif

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#684 of 684 Old 09-01-2010, 11:20 AM
 
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http://www.mothering.com/discussions...5#post15795335

Here is the first post! I don't know how to do links like Clay does and aweyn with writing "here" and having it be a link

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