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#1 of 112 Old 11-28-2010, 07:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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New season, new thread :)  Traditional Catholic moms thread is for all Catholic moms who strive to live according to the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church.  We may or may not attend TLM, but we are all doing our best to be faithful to the Magisterium.

 

Our previous thread can be found here (please check the last page or two so we don't miss anyone's posts or announcements!)

 

Today is Advent Sunday!  I love Advent.  Do any of you have any specials plans or traditions?  We'll light the first candle of our Advent wreath, of course, and do some prayers and readings.  Since we just converted a few years ago and neither of us grew up celebrating Advent, we don't really have any family traditions outside of that, so I'm always interested in what other families do.  Today is Latin Mass in my area (well, 45 minutes away, but well worth the drive!), so I'll be heading out there for my Sunday obligation.  I'm also hoping to snag the priest for a few moments and get invested in the Brown Scapular (I really wanted to do the Black Scapular of the 7 dolors, but it's much harder to find a priest that can enroll in that).

 

 

 

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#2 of 112 Old 11-28-2010, 08:19 AM
 
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Hi!

Advent, at least when it's just DD and I, is a huge deal.  No Christmas stuff til Christmas eve.  The Tree goes up, but it has pink/purple garland and white lights, and we use it as our Jesse Tree.  The rest of the decor goes up on Christmas Eve. (IMHO- Advent is Advent, not Christmas)

 

For our wreath, I usually the Advent prayers from FishEaters.com.  Since we currently don't have a "father" to read the Father parts, I read the Scripture passage and the prayer.  Then I help DD read the response.

Also, my wreath is homemade with two styrofoam circles topped with artificial greenery and poinsettas.  The candles are LED, because I have cats that don't understand the "no on the table", and get into everything.  They are inside 3 purple and 1 pink 6-day glass candle holders.

I wish I could post a pic, but all of my Advent/Christmas stuff is currently in storage in Texas.


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#3 of 112 Old 11-28-2010, 05:14 PM
 
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I'm not sure what we're going to do this year for advent. I'm still struggling in my faith and wondering if I did the right thing when I converted to Catholicism, haven't been able to get DD {now 4} baptized, and dealing with family issues. I had everything lined up to get DD baptized with the priest who was doing the latin mass here, but the bishop removed him from his post and now I'm starting over again since the new priest who doesn't see a "sincere enough commitment" aka tithes and attending the classes, neither of which is possible right now with my family and financial issues. I'm debating taking DD to the Episcopal church down the street and having her baptized as they are more than willing and it should be accepted by the Catholic Parish.

 

 

The only thing I know we're doing for sure this year is not putting up the tree until Christmas eve and doing some sort of St. Nicholas Day stocking thing.


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#4 of 112 Old 11-28-2010, 07:17 PM
 
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If the priest is not "seeing effort", then maybe you need to schedule a sit-down or phone conversation with him.  Explain the issues keeping you from tithing and your classes.  Remember that he is new, and has the whole parish to get used to, and to catch up on all the information passed to him from the previous priest.

 

And yes, you did the right then when you converted.  Don't let Satan get under your skin and tell you that you were wrong.  You are home, and we want you here! We love you! 


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#5 of 112 Old 11-29-2010, 01:53 AM
 
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If the priest is not "seeing effort", then maybe you need to schedule a sit-down or phone conversation with him.  Explain the issues keeping you from tithing and your classes.  Remember that he is new, and has the whole parish to get used to, and to catch up on all the information passed to him from the previous priest.

 

And yes, you did the right then when you converted.  Don't let Satan get under your skin and tell you that you were wrong.  You are home, and we want you here! We love you! 


I did meet with him to try to explain things and why I can't do classes, etc - but he still wants me to attend them. With no car and caring for a newly blind mother and a dad with dementia it's just not possible - I'm doing good to make it to Mass once a month right now. I don't think so much it's him, but the actual parish priest for the parish that is being a stickler on the classes - our TLM is held at a parish church as a kind of off-shoot, but everything is recorded through the actual parish priest that is not a fan of the TLM. The classes are a requirement of the main non-TLM parish for baptism.

 

I think mostly right now everything is up in the air in my diocese, lots of priests moved around and then we just got a new bishop that everyone is still trying to see where stands on things. We're not even sure right now that our TLM will be allowed to continue with this new bishop.


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#6 of 112 Old 11-29-2010, 07:10 AM
 
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So so sorry, Nicole! I just keep thinking about is all from the point of view of your little ones. One things is for sure... They will never believe that there is no baby until birth of the 3rd trimester. But of course I wish you did not need to go through something so hard...!

 

Hang in there, frugalmama. Change in parishes can be so hard! Is this the only parish to which you are close enough? Sounds like the priest is very busy right now and afraid to not stick to the rules. (You know, if he says "ok" to you, then who knows how many others will want to demand the same... or something like that. It must be a bit of a tough spot for him as the brand new priest there.)

 

We have been through a lot in the past 6 years... and now I am finally starting to see some meaning and reason behind it all (sickness, now healed, 2 big moves, change in careers, etc.). (Thank you, my dear Lord!)

 

We are now officially waiting and praying to see if there is or will be a child somewhere out there whom God has planned to join our family.   We are an American-Northern European family with a bilingual 6 yo daughter, who has been asking God for a sibling ever since she was 2. We love the TLM, but attend Mass at a Carmelite monastery, as a TLM is not available here more than a couple of times a year. We are dealing with unexplained secondary infertility and just want to do whatever it is that God has planned for us. Adoption has started to seem like the right step for our family. (All of a sudden God has even taken away my previously very strong desire to conceive.)  We really need a lot of miracles for this to happen but, at the same time, know that anything is possible to God. So... If you ever feel nudged by God to tell anyone about our family, please feel free to do so. We would be so happy to have other MDC Catholic mamas be part of the story of our family.  We would really appreciate you prayers, also!


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#7 of 112 Old 11-29-2010, 07:45 AM
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Frugamama, according to the Vatican, it's not up to the Bishop to allow or disallow the TLM anymore.  It is up to the individual priest, and the Bishop is not allowed to interfere.  The seminarian assigned to our parish told me a while back that there is someplace to report interference to the Latin Mass.  Some other mothers here may have the information for you, or I'd be happy to ask for you when I see him again.

 

I don't understand why it would be such a big deal for your parish to make accommodations to baptize your daughter.  At my parish, there is one class offered once a month that is basically watching a 30 minute video, talking about it for a few minutes, and filling out a form.  I understand that they want to use your child's baptism as an opportunity to get you more religiously involved, but if they really believe that Baptism is for the good of your child, they shouldn't hold it over your head like that.

 

Our Advent traditions also include an Advent wreath and waiting for Christmas to celebrate Christmas.  We make our own candles and use increasingly light colors of purple for the candles on our Advent wreath (except the pink one) to signify it getting closer to the Light of Christmas.  We also set up our manger scene at the beginning of Advent.  Mary and Joseph are positioned across the house from the stable and "travel to Bethlehem" during Advent.  On Christmas eve, we read the Christmas story and then put Mary and Joseph in the stable and Jesus comes.  The shepherds, originally positioned nearby the stable also arrive.  The magi are then positioned across the house from the stable, and they travel throughout the 12 days of Christmas and arrive on Epiphany.  It is exciting for me to plan a lot of our family traditions this year since it will be our first year at home on Christmas eve and Christmas day since we got married.

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#8 of 112 Old 11-29-2010, 07:09 PM
 
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We make Mary and Joseph, as well as the Wise Men, travel as well!

 

I am actually wanting the Las Posadas figurines.  What can I say.... I am a bit OCD, LoL.


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#9 of 112 Old 12-02-2010, 09:20 AM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

 

Today is Advent Sunday!  I love Advent.  Do any of you have any specials plans or traditions?  

 

 


My plan is this: I made our Advent wreath and that's all we had for first week of Advent. I plan to put Christmas pictures in our frames and decorate our bar next week. Then I'll string some lights up around the house the 3rd week, and we'll put our tree up for the 4th week. I leave all decorations (except the Advent wreath) out through the end of the Christmas season (which means a pretty dry tree at the end, lol).

 

I received a copy of the Magnificat in the mail (I'm totally subscribing once we get on our feet money-wise) and wanted to say the Advent wreath blessing the first time we lit a candle, but my sister fussed about it and I didn't even try after that b/c I know my husband wouldn't have backed me up. I get a little embarrassed about doing too much Catholic stuff b/c I'm the only one that believes in it. (My husband did take DD to Mass Sunday even though I was sick and didn't go. I was so proud of him!)

 


 

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I'm not sure what we're going to do this year for advent. I'm still struggling in my faith and wondering if I did the right thing when I converted to Catholicism, haven't been able to get DD {now 4} baptized, and dealing with family issues. I had everything lined up to get DD baptized with the priest who was doing the latin mass here, but the bishop removed him from his post and now I'm starting over again since the new priest who doesn't see a "sincere enough commitment" aka tithes and attending the classes, neither of which is possible right now with my family and financial issues. I'm debating taking DD to the Episcopal church down the street and having her baptized as they are more than willing and it should be accepted by the Catholic Parish.

 

 

The only thing I know we're doing for sure this year is not putting up the tree until Christmas eve and doing some sort of St. Nicholas Day stocking thing.



Please don't give up! I'll pray for you. I understand some of the stuff you're going through, and even if it's difficult, I know we made the right decision. I wouldn't advise going the Episcopal route. The Church may accept it, but do you really want to do something so important through another faith tradition?



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Quote:
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If the priest is not "seeing effort", then maybe you need to schedule a sit-down or phone conversation with him.  Explain the issues keeping you from tithing and your classes.  Remember that he is new, and has the whole parish to get used to, and to catch up on all the information passed to him from the previous priest.

 

And yes, you did the right then when you converted.  Don't let Satan get under your skin and tell you that you were wrong.  You are home, and we want you here! We love you! 


I did meet with him to try to explain things and why I can't do classes, etc - but he still wants me to attend them. With no car and caring for a newly blind mother and a dad with dementia it's just not possible - I'm doing good to make it to Mass once a month right now. I don't think so much it's him, but the actual parish priest for the parish that is being a stickler on the classes - our TLM is held at a parish church as a kind of off-shoot, but everything is recorded through the actual parish priest that is not a fan of the TLM. The classes are a requirement of the main non-TLM parish for baptism.

 

I think mostly right now everything is up in the air in my diocese, lots of priests moved around and then we just got a new bishop that everyone is still trying to see where stands on things. We're not even sure right now that our TLM will be allowed to continue with this new bishop.



I feel your pain on the Baptism trouble. My parish has a lot of hoops we're having to jump through. First of all, I'm the only parent that is Catholic. And I had to do quite a bit of convincing to get DH to even agree to have the kids Baptised. The parish requires that not only do I have to attend two Baptism classes but my DH must as well. He works late and cannot attend, so we have to schedule a separate meeting to have DH educated regarding the Sacrament. AND, they want us to Convalidate our marriage. I don't think DH is going to go for it all. It was all I could do to convince him to stand up there with me and the kids during the Baptism. I don't know about all of this extra stuff. Some of it seems unreasonable. My sponsor/my kids' godmother says that they cannot deny you the Sacrament. She suggested I call other parishes in the area. Could you do the same?



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Our Advent traditions also include an Advent wreath and waiting for Christmas to celebrate Christmas.  We make our own candles and use increasingly light colors of purple for the candles on our Advent wreath (except the pink one) to signify it getting closer to the Light of Christmas.  We also set up our manger scene at the beginning of Advent.  Mary and Joseph are positioned across the house from the stable and "travel to Bethlehem" during Advent.  On Christmas eve, we read the Christmas story and then put Mary and Joseph in the stable and Jesus comes.  The shepherds, originally positioned nearby the stable also arrive.  The magi are then positioned across the house from the stable, and they travel throughout the 12 days of Christmas and arrive on Epiphany.  It is exciting for me to plan a lot of our family traditions this year since it will be our first year at home on Christmas eve and Christmas day since we got married.


I've heard of this, and I really want to do it. But we don't have a Manger Scene. I think my mom may be looking for a good one to get us.



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We make Mary and Joseph, as well as the Wise Men, travel as well!

 

I am actually wanting the Las Posadas figurines.  What can I say.... I am a bit OCD, LoL.



Those are nice figurines.


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#10 of 112 Old 12-02-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

 

Today is Advent Sunday!  I love Advent.  Do any of you have any specials plans or traditions?  

 

 


My plan is this: I made our Advent wreath and that's all we had for first week of Advent. I plan to put Christmas pictures in our frames and decorate our bar next week. Then I'll string some lights up around the house the 3rd week, and we'll put our tree up for the 4th week. I leave all decorations (except the Advent wreath) out through the end of the Christmas season (which means a pretty dry tree at the end, lol).

 

I received a copy of the Magnificat in the mail (I'm totally subscribing once we get on our feet money-wise) and wanted to say the Advent wreath blessing the first time we lit a candle, but my sister fussed about it and I didn't even try after that b/c I know my husband wouldn't have backed me up. I get a little embarrassed about doing too much Catholic stuff b/c I'm the only one that believes in it. (My husband did take DD to Mass Sunday even though I was sick and didn't go. I was so proud of him!)

 

Yay for DH!


 


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#11 of 112 Old 12-03-2010, 08:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Big surprise, I forgot to bring my scapular to Mass to have it blessed!  I'm so scatterbrained, blah.

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#12 of 112 Old 12-03-2010, 01:47 PM
 
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Big surprise, I forgot to bring my scapular to Mass to have it blessed!  I'm so scatterbrained, blah.



Rats! Could you make an appointment? Or do it another day? I'm not familiar with scapular devotions. I've only dipped my toe into Novenas and haven't ventured any farther than that. There are so many Catholic things I want to incorporate into my daily life, but it's happening extremely slowly.


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#13 of 112 Old 12-04-2010, 12:24 PM
 
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Big surprise, I forgot to bring my scapular to Mass to have it blessed!  I'm so scatterbrained, blah.



Brown scapular?  If you're enrolled, no need to have the scapular blessed.  You can just put one on.  (Not so with scapular medals, however.)


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#14 of 112 Old 12-04-2010, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

Big surprise, I forgot to bring my scapular to Mass to have it blessed!  I'm so scatterbrained, blah.



Brown scapular?  If you're enrolled, no need to have the scapular blessed.  You can just put one on.  (Not so with scapular medals, however.)


Yes, I know the blessing transfers, but I have never been enrolled :)

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#15 of 112 Old 12-05-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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Just stopping by to say  its been far too long since I've been with this thread. I'm so glad to have found it again. smile.gif


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#16 of 112 Old 12-06-2010, 09:41 AM
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Happy St. Nicholas Day, Catholic mamas!  St. Nicholas visited our house and brought fruit and brownies.  What are you doing to celebrate?

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#17 of 112 Old 12-06-2010, 01:37 PM
 
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Happy St. Nicholas Day everyone!! St. Nicholas brought a few goodies this morning. Chocolate coins, organic lollipops along with just a few other things. We also made a coffee cake for our family's tradition. Later, the true story of St. Nicholas will be read to my children. orngbiggrin.gif


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#18 of 112 Old 12-06-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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Frugalmama- try to find another priest.  Ask fellow parishioners, Catholic friends, etc if they know a priest or deacon (a little known fact: a deacon can both marry and baptize!) who is sympathetic.  A baptism does not need to take place during a mass, there doesn't need to be a big production and it seems as if today many parishes forget that the most important things is the sacrament!

 

My parish priest who has known me since I was a little girl did not want to marry DH and I without making us jump through hoops.  I'm not going to go into the details of our situation online, but we were in a position that made even going through the diocesan requirements a hardship, let alone what this priest wanted us to do.  We were blessed to find another priest (who is one of the most orthodox priests in the diocese, for the record) in a different town (same diocese) who did marry us, waving all requirements except those set by cannon law.  PM me for details if you like.

 

Get your daughter baptised, there is a Catholic priest/deacon out there who will help you, but he must be found first.

 

Prayers heading your way!

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#19 of 112 Old 12-07-2010, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi purplemamaturtle5 :)

 

St. Nicholas left chocolate coins in the kids' shoes.  We kind of forgot about him until the last minute, thankfully I had picked up the coins last month! 

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Hi purplemamaturtle5 :)

 

St. Nicholas left chocolate coins in the kids' shoes.  We kind of forgot about him until the last minute, thankfully I had picked up the coins last month! 


 

I picked up the coins and totally forgot - guess they will go in the Christmas stocking.


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#21 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 08:24 AM
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I have a question for you AP/GD Catholic mamas about confession.  My sweet baby has now turned into a wonderful toddler who is helping her mother grow in virtue, and I'm finding myself seeing a need to go to confession much more often than ever before.  The trouble is that I feel like I'm talking about my discipline problems in broad terms out of fear that if I shared the specifics on what I did, I would get told that I shouldn't be confessing that.  I should be disciplining like that, and if I'm not, then there's a problem.  The times that I have felt comfortable giving more details, I feel like I've been able to get better spiritual direction, develop a concrete plan, and make more progress.  I feel like I'm pretty new to this confessing discipline mistakes thing since my only child (so far) is not yet two.  For those of you who have been at this for longer than I, without confessing to me your failings, can you tell me about your experiences with confessing things that most Christian parents would do and think they're doing their job, but you believe it's wrong?

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#22 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 08:44 AM
 
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I have a question for you AP/GD Catholic mamas about confession.  My sweet baby has now turned into a wonderful toddler who is helping her mother grow in virtue, and I'm finding myself seeing a need to go to confession much more often than ever before.  The trouble is that I feel like I'm talking about my discipline problems in broad terms out of fear that if I shared the specifics on what I did, I would get told that I shouldn't be confessing that.  I should be disciplining like that, and if I'm not, then there's a problem.  The times that I have felt comfortable giving more details, I feel like I've been able to get better spiritual direction, develop a concrete plan, and make more progress.  I feel like I'm pretty new to this confessing discipline mistakes thing since my only child (so far) is not yet two.  For those of you who have been at this for longer than I, without confessing to me your failings, can you tell me about your experiences with confessing things that most Christian parents would do and think they're doing their job, but you believe it's wrong?


Sorry, I can't help here. I am pretty new to Confessing (recent Convert). When I confess discipline things it is usually in very broad terms, like "I was uncharitable to my kids" or "I'm angry much of the time". I'm never sure what exactly I *need* to confess because venial things I seem to do all.the.time so I couldn't give a good number account: I yelled x times or whatever. Mortal sins, like missing Mass, I can keep track of pretty well. So I always feel really dumb saying the venial things. I don't usually go unless I have a mortal sin to confess. Then there's usually only one or two things to tell the priest so I fill in the time with venial things.

 

So a confession might run something like this:

I missed Mass 1 time.

I'm angry at my husband a lot.

I'm jealous of women that can get pregnant.

I use curse words.

 

I'm probably doing it all wrong, huh?

 

**These are real life things I might confess, but I'm not re-hashing an exact Confession. I hope this is OK to do.


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#23 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 08:45 AM
 
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So what are everyone's plans for Mass today? We're going this evening.


Amanda praying.gif (31), RN, BSN
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#24 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 12:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JMJ View Post


I have a question for you AP/GD Catholic mamas about confession.  My sweet baby has now turned into a wonderful toddler who is helping her mother grow in virtue, and I'm finding myself seeing a need to go to confession much more often than ever before.  The trouble is that I feel like I'm talking about my discipline problems in broad terms out of fear that if I shared the specifics on what I did, I would get told that I shouldn't be confessing that.  I should be disciplining like that, and if I'm not, then there's a problem.  The times that I have felt comfortable giving more details, I feel like I've been able to get better spiritual direction, develop a concrete plan, and make more progress.  I feel like I'm pretty new to this confessing discipline mistakes thing since my only child (so far) is not yet two.  For those of you who have been at this for longer than I, without confessing to me your failings, can you tell me about your experiences with confessing things that most Christian parents would do and think they're doing their job, but you believe it's wrong?





Can I join you ladies? I've read this thread for a while, but never got around to introducing myself! I am in the process of converting and I feel so at home in the RCC! It all makes so much sense, I can't tell you what a relief it is to finally find my spiritual home.
I highlighted your post JMJ because I was wondering the same thing. I think what I might say in my next confession is that I've punished my child out of anger instead of for discipline. In other words I have expressed anger towards her to relieve my own frustration not to help her learn how to behave.

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#25 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 01:15 PM
 
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I am popping out of lurker status now, too, I guess.  Hi!  Me: lifelong Catholic with four boys and a non-religious hubby.

 

I wanted to share that it has been my experience that confession can be frutrating when it comes to the "motherly" stuff.  IN NO WAY do I mean to disrespect the priesthood, not at all.

I would never say any particular priest, either.  I just think that sometimes you get a priest who is trying to soothe/reassure/redirect you.  And not all of them *get* the daily grind of parenting.  Not to say that you have to experience something to advise on it; just that there is with some priests a dimension that is not there.  This is not to denigrate them or the priesthood.  But it speaks to what a priest can be always expected to give.

 

Like, I always find myself wanting spiritual direction when I am in there..... but itis not always possible.  Practical reasons of time, etc., but also not all priests are trained for that, or good at it.

So confession can't meet all my needs but I have begun to recognize that if I come out feeling like I still need something then it is definitely good to pray about it, like. "Do I need a counselor? (the answer to taht one last year was YES)  Do I need a communtiy of support?  (Hoping to find some here)....etc.

 

If I feel moved to confess then there is probably sin there, even if I am not expressing it properly. 

 

So the Lord sees our hearts, I think, and forgives us through the priest, even if he priest's human frailty means that he did not see everything.  I always have to remind myself to put my faith in the sacrament, which is not dependet on the priest, but on Our Lord.

 

 

Quote:
  I think what I might say in my next confession is that I've punished my child out of anger instead of for discipline. In other words I have expressed anger towards her to relieve my own frustration not to help her learn how to behave.

 

 

I think this sounds really good;  highlighting the sinful circumstances (anger) rather than the action (discipline) which is morally good. 

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#26 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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So what are everyone's plans for Mass today? We're going this evening.


 I took my one Communion-receiving child and the baby with me to 7:30 a.m. Mass.  Wrote him a late note that said, "Late for religious holiday services."

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#27 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 01:40 PM
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Thanks for your responses, lavatea and scottishmommy.  I do usually use more broad terms and try to keep the emphasis on my own lack of self-control and sinfulness that caused an unloving response, and I have yet to have a priest tell me that I wasn't wrong.  It's just that there's so many Christian (even some Catholic!) people who advocate spanking, time-outs, CIO, shaming, demands of blind obedience, etc.  If I were ever to do any of those, I would feel a need to confess that.  Yes, I think that it would be important to talk about the impatience, selfishness, lack of charity that lead to my response, but I would want to share my response as well.  I just have a fear that some time, I'm going to have some priest tell me that leaving my child to cry alone after doing something wrong isn't a sin.  It's a time out, and it's how they learn.

 

I guess I'm just falling in love with the sacrament of Reconciliation as the best form of GD for adults.  Maybe it's that I'm a mom now, and I want my daughter to have a saint for a mother, but she got me instead.  Bringing my failings to my father and figuring out how I can make amends, figuring out how I can do better next time, receiving his forgiveness and encouragement, and going in peace.  It's the discipline model I want to use for my children.  Venial sins are a part of our lives every day, and they're also some of the hardest to get rid of.  It's easier to never kill people, never steal, never commit adultery, etc. than it is to be patient and kind all the time.  I really feel like confession is a wonderful way submit myself to discipline that will help me to grow, just as I hope my discipline will do for my daughter.  I'm finding that I make more progress when I make it back to confession before I have more instances of my sin than I can count.  It all gets forgiven either way, but I get better advice if I'm talking about a specific situation or even a few specific situations.

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#28 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 01:50 PM
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Ambivamom, I hear you about priests sometimes not understanding the daily grind of parenting.  I've been lucky enough to find a wonderful priest, our new pastor actually, who is quite empathetic to parents and what he talks about as "practicing your faith."  I just can't always go to confession to him, and I don't have a good read on him yet as to what he thinks about discipline.

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#29 of 112 Old 12-08-2010, 01:58 PM
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We made it to noon mass today.  My hubby is out of town, so he is going late tonight when he gets back.  The parish had a penance service last night (hence my other concerns today) followed by a vigil mass, and I was planning on going to that, but at 8:20 when confessions were still going on and mass wasn't, we went home to go to bed.  Tired toddlers aren't the best mass attendees, and I'm uncomfortable with going to the vigil when I can actually go on the holy day itself.  The tired toddler was just enough to push me over the edge into going today.  I still got teased by my pastor when I walked in the door about going twice and had to explain that I had ducked out before mass last night.

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#30 of 112 Old 12-09-2010, 10:08 AM
 
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Quote:

 It's just that there's so many Christian (even some Catholic!) people who advocate spanking, time-outs, CIO, shaming, demands of blind obedience, etc.  If I were ever to do any of those, I would feel a need to confess that.  Yes, I think that it would be important to talk about the impatience, selfishness, lack of charity that lead to my response, but I would want to share my response as well.  I just have a fear that some time, I'm going to have some priest tell me that leaving my child to cry alone after doing something wrong isn't a sin.  It's a time out, and it's how they learn. 


I don't think that enough people, even priests, realize how important our own conscience is in directing us to or sins.  It's probably easier to just go by a set "list" (that is, apparently, different for each priest) but even the Church teaches that the old list of mortal and venial sins is not the best way to look at it any more.  We are called to examine the sin in the context of our intentions and the circumstances as well. 

 

If I confessed to walking away from my child when I knew I should be holding him, and the priest said,"Oh,that's not a sin," then I might not say anythign at all, and just ask Our Lord to read my heart.  IfI did say anything in response, it might be, "Father, I knew in my heart it was wrong when I did it.   So I feel I have to confess it." 

 

I wish they would stop telling us things aren't sins when they are things that *definitely* could be in a given circumstance.

 

 

Quote:
   

 I guess I'm just falling in love with the sacrament of Reconciliation as the best form of GD for adults.  Maybe it's that I'm a mom now, and I want my daughter to have a saint for a mother, but she got me instead.  Bringing my failings to my father and figuring out how I can make amends, figuring out how I can do better next time, receiving his forgiveness and encouragement, and going in peace.  It's the discipline model I want to use for my children.  Venial sins are a part of our lives every day, and they're also some of the hardest to get rid of.  It's easier to never kill people, never steal, never commit adultery, etc. than it is to be patient and kind all the time.  I really feel like confession is a wonderful way submit myself to discipline that will help me to grow, just as I hope my discipline will do for my daughter . .

 

I just wanted to say that I think this is absolutely beautiful.   You have articulated something that I have been thinking about more and more over the last year and a half and have not been able to put into words.

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