I am a Christian. I am not involved in any churches, nor have I been for a long time. I do believe in what the Bible teaches and that Jesus is the risen Son of God. Lately, I've been feeling very lost. Things I truly and deeply believe was meant for our family has not happened and seem impossible. I know God has a different timing than we do, but I feel like I'm loosing faith in what I thought was God's will for our family. Was it always just what I wanted? Was God anywhere in it or was it just me? Those are the questions I struggle with. On top of that, a family member who has deeply and continuously hurt our family and repeatedly used us and threw us away, recently received a tremendous blessing, one that I prayed for for us for a very long time - 5 years in fact. I'm struggling to understand why God allowed this to happen. I feel petty and small to even be feeling the way I do, but I just feel like what I wanted was deliberately given to someone who will always be in my face, there to show me how little we mean to God. I know my heart will heal eventually and I may even eventually not feel hurt every time I see her or hear from her. But right now, I'm very raw. I am desperate for some semlance of an answer, a direction for our family. I am so tired of just drifting along without any idea if we're on the right path. Lately, I've even been contemplating contacting intuitives for guidance, something that is so opposite of what I've always believed. I believe the Bible speaks very clearly against contacting mediums and intuitives and that is where faith comes in. I just feel desperate. Is there anywhere for Christians to get some life guidance? Somewhere they can just turn to not feel so lost and directionless? Thank you for reading this.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time :(
When I feel down, I talk to my hubby about what God's plan may be. He brought me to the Lord when we got married and is someone I look up to about my faith. I believe that God has a plan for all of us, including the person he blessed with that gift. He's teaching you and her a lesson by blessing her. I used to wonder why we could barely make ends meet and we'd scramble at the last minute to pay the mortgage. BUT, we've never made a late payment on any of our bills even if we only had $.05 to our name. He has always taken care of us and in the last month dh and I have learned some truly great lessons about money.
I believe that God doesn't want you to have that blessing for a reason, he wants you to have other blessings. He's not trying to punish you by not giving you that one thing. He's just teaching and guiding you.
I don't mean to sound preachy, I hope you understand that. I've been where you are and have come out the other side a more positive person. I used to wonder why my BIL got $30k in 2010 from something he didn't really even earn. I now know that God is teaching him to manage his money and my BIL isn't listening. He only has a few thousand left and nothing to show for it. I feel bad for my BIL, but I also feel blessed that dh and I have learned our lesson and will hopefully never squander a blessing again :)
I'm praying for you mama
Hi Veronika. I can't say that I have guidance for you, but I can tell you my experience with really wanting something and waiting for the Lord Jesus' timing. I first came to know the Lord in 2000. At the time I was dating a lot and trying to find Mr. Right. I was 32 yrs old. For some reason, I told the Lord that I would stop dating and wait for Him to send the right brother for me.
Six years later, no sign of marriage in sight, I was pretty heartbroken and thinking that I would be single with no kids for the rest of my life. Then, I was praying early in the morning and crying out to the Lord. The Lord said, will you still love me and follow me if I don't give you a husband for 10 more years?
Man, that stopped me in my tracks. I said ten years Lord? He said, and will you still love me and follow me if I don't give you a husband for 20 years? By then I was weeping. I began to feel filled up with the Lord and through my weeping I agreed. I said yes, Lord, by your mercy, I will still love you and follow you. I felt so loved by the Lord in that moment. It was like He was saying, you are mine and I want to be loved by you.
It's the Lord's mercy that any of us love Him. We love Him because He first loved us. He gave Himself up for us.
That consecration that I made with the Lord is really what He wanted from me. He wants to be our first love, our best love. He isn't satisfied to be second to anything in our heart. He is jealous over us in a divine way, not a sinful way. He is jealous over our heart.
It's not that we can't pray for things that are meaningful in our life, but it's a matter of will we let it go if He wants us to.
Before Jesus went to the cross He was praying to the Father, if it is Your will let this cup pass from me. Jesus in His prayer seemed to be saying, this is hard, but if it's Your will then I agree.
Hope some of this helps. Your questions are normal. It's okay to duke it out with the Lord sometimes, He can take it. While you are duking it out, slip in a little, but I really want You to win me Lord.
You already have a sense not to contact an intuitive. Follow your sense. If you do contact one you are inviting the enemy to come and play around with you, confuse you even more. Try to find some fellowship IRL. It doesn't have to be a particular church, but maybe a Bible study if you know some Christians. You could invite them for coffee and read the Bible together. Being without fellowship makes it harder for you to go on.
i have been there. I had a very difficult time getting pregnant (even though the docs said there was nothing wrong with either of us). I can now say that G-d's timing was perfect for our children. I do not know how we would have handled everything earlier in our marriage. I still sometimes struggle, but when I do I think about Jeremiah 29:11-13. I went to a great retreat where this was the scripture taught.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New International Version, ©2010)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Keep in my that the are HIS PLANS, meaning we have to open ourselves up to follow them,
12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
He will listen, not give us everything we ask for (his plans not ours),
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
You have to seek with ALL you heart, not just seek for what you want.
So, when I am struggling with something I want, I try to ask myself: Am I seeking G-d with my whole heart? Am I looking for HIS plan, or trying to get him to follow mine?
I LOVE this blog and it had me thinking about you again today Veronika :)