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#61 of 178 Old 05-30-2011, 04:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Assalamu Alaikum Sisters:

 

Saw this article in the LA Times on Imam Suhaib Webb--American revert Imam who sounds like what our Ummah here needs more of.  http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-american-imam-20110527,0,5640663.story?page=3#tugs_story_display

 

I haven't looked around much, but his website looks very rich: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/

 

 

Peace.


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#62 of 178 Old 05-30-2011, 09:44 PM
 
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Wa salam.  :)

 

Suhaib Webb has a major case of the awesome, in my not very humble opinion.  :D   Really cool that the LA Times profiled him.   Check out his tafsir series.

 

He's one of a very few contemporary religious leaders who, when people talk about how certain scholars were beloved in their own time, I get how that happens.  I mean in a "here is a fantastically respectable and likable person to whom people are drawn," sort of way, not a "religious celebrity superstars" sort of way.  My husband is always listening to him and saying, "That guy ... we need the kids to grow up to be just like him."

 

(Thus concludes Liquesce's gushing fandom. shy.gif )

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#63 of 178 Old 05-31-2011, 09:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post

Wa salam.  :)

 

Suhaib Webb has a major case of the awesome, in my not very humble opinion.  :D   Really cool that the LA Times profiled him.   Check out his tafsir series.

 

He's one of a very few contemporary religious leaders who, when people talk about how certain scholars were beloved in their own time, I get how that happens.  I mean in a "here is a fantastically respectable and likable person to whom people are drawn," sort of way, not a "religious celebrity superstars" sort of way.  My husband is always listening to him and saying, "That guy ... we need the kids to grow up to be just like him."

 

(Thus concludes Liquesce's gushing fandom. shy.gif )


LOL :D

 

I'm glad the LA Times profiled him, because honestly--I'd never heard of him before.  

 


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#64 of 178 Old 06-03-2011, 09:47 PM
 
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Salaam sisters! It has been a while! I've been in the wild world of my two year old boy in which I don't seem to be able to get on the internet without marker getting on the wall etc. But I'm loving the posts recently - they all convey a sense of sisterhood and love for sure.

 

Salaam alaykum and welcome Noorjahan, May Allah protect and bless your baby and make the baby among the dhakireen wa shakireen (the ones who remember and who are most thankful). As far as dua when you are pregnant, in addition to surah mariyam you should absolutely read the dua that Mariyam's mother made for her (recorded in the third surah) and the dua of ibrahim (alahi salaam) both available in English here -- I recommend looking up the arabic too if you prefer. I just listened to a lecture where the speaker said that pregnant woman should recite that dua of mariyam's mother as much as possible during pregnancy! Subhanallah!

 

As far as our family, things are in motion. My husband is visiting the new job location and we are waiting for one more thing to go through. At the same time, we may be pursuing an international position. Things are just very flexible here lately, and we do not know which direction we should go in. We are so young and we want to make the right choice. Please please keep us in your dua and pray that Allah guides us and sends us clear signs and certainty. Ameen

 

By the way I wanted to share with all of you dear fabulous women this great book I stumbled across on Amazon -- the reviews are amazing, and it looks like a treasure of a resource for the whole family. Check it out (does anyone already have it?):

 

Ayat Jamilah

 

Also, we are now in the month of rajab, which I hear is a month of repentance. Any knowledge that anyone has about this special month, please share as I am lacking.

 

candle.gif to those around the world in need and fighting injustice

 

 


Mothering my sweet preschool boy luxlove.gif and my new arrival bfinfant.gif

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#65 of 178 Old 06-04-2011, 01:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by youngspiritmom View Post

By the way I wanted to share with all of you dear fabulous women this great book I stumbled across on Amazon -- the reviews are amazing, and it looks like a treasure of a resource for the whole family. Check it out (does anyone already have it?):

 

Ayat Jamilah

 

I have been tempted to order this one, but have not seen a copy firsthand. it sounds great.
 

Two years ago I was working on overcoming my shyness about visiting a masjid, in order to meet muslimahs IRL.  the love and support here was—and continues to be—critical for me.  now I come to a new step:  I will be spending about half of Ramadan with my completely nonmuslim family in Boston.  In order to ease loneliness, I want to visit a masjid while there....and it will be another first time.  closest to my mom is Islamic Society of Boston.  any chance any of you have been there?  I'm afraid, due to size alone, it might just overwhelm me, and I'd love any hints, referrals to helpful sisters, anything.  but I think I'll need it, too.  i have 2 months to build up courage, inshaAllah innocent.gif

 


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#66 of 178 Old 06-05-2011, 08:14 PM
 
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youngspiritmom, alhamdulillah for your post--so nice to hear all you have to say! That book has been on my "buy later" list for years. It looks very rich. I'll make du'a for your family in this exciting time of change. About rajab, I know some people fast during it, but that is all I know. I hope others will have more knowledge to share.

 

kangamitroo, I asked a Muslim friend who has lived in Boston. She suggested Wayland mosque, north of Boston, might be a good option, and wrote of her experience or knowledge of a few others. I will PM you her note.

 



Mama to a bilingual (Arabic/English) and cuddly 3 year old, and planning another peaceful homebirth in June.
 

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#67 of 178 Old 06-05-2011, 09:29 PM
 
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Salamu Alaykum Sisters!

 

YSM, looking forward to hearing what happens for your family as time moves along. Kanga, good luck--it will be fine, insha-Allah, and maybe you will even meet a friend or two.

 

We are in Dubai now, and it is turning from hot to hotter as summer begins. Hoping to move into our home next week, and as one might imagine we have had a few obstacles and hold-ups, but it goes on. Insha-Allah meeting an online friend IRL for the first time tomorrow. I have not told the kids yet, but there will be children for them to meet, too!

 

Missing our friends and family deeply, but trying to trust that all is as it should be. And trying to enjoy discovering what we find here.

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#68 of 178 Old 06-10-2011, 12:21 PM
 
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Salaam sisters,

 

I am posting for the first time on this forum.  I really need some input from you all.

 

My DS5 has had a crush on this little girl in his class, Jessica.  He just came home today and told me he and his friends were talking and Jessica is his girlfriend.  I have no idea how to address this.  He's told me that he's played the "married" game on the playground with Jessica and another boy and another girl.  I eventually learned that the "married" game meant that a little boy was supposed to catch a little girl and then kiss her and that meant they were married.  I discouraged him from doing that, telling him only grown ups get married.  Well, he kept insisting it was another boy in the class who was trying to "marry" the girl and DS was only helping his friend out. 

 

When he told me that Jessica's his girlfriend, I asked what that meant.  I tried to say, it's ok to have friends who are girls and anyone can be a friend, whether it's a boy or girl.  I tried to say that Jessica can be his best friend but not his girlfriend.  He seemed embarassed.  I don't want to be harsh and shut down all communication.  I still want to make sure he feels free to share what's going with him rather than be embarassed to share the truth with me. 

 

Anyway, I am worried that if I don't discourage this behavior that later in life, he'll want to date when he's older.  I'd really like for him to learn proper muslim behavior and follow Islam for his relationships.  I really don't know what to do.  Please help!!

 

Thank you so much!

 

 

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#69 of 178 Old 06-11-2011, 09:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wa'alaikum Assalam:

 

I'm not sure the right thing to do, but I'm facing that too.  :)

 

DS1's best friend is a girl--and he has a major crush on her.  I'm happy to report that when I ask him, "Why do you like V--" He says, "Because she's smart and nice...."  So, I just said, "Well, when you're older and it's time to think about marriage, I hope you choose your wife by being smart and nice and being a good Muslimah."  He's 7.  Both DS1 who is 7 and DS2 who is 5 seem to have marriage on the brain.  It must be something they talk about at school.  We've had to talk about why they can't marry me when they grow up. :)

 

I'm glad that neither of them has brought up kissing anybody yet.  They think kissing a girl is yucky--which I'm fine with right now.  We say that Muslim boys and girls kiss their Mommies and Babas (and Aunts, Uncles, grandparents, etc.).... and that's it.  When they're married, then they get to kiss their husband or wife because that's how Allah(swt) designed it.  

 

My plan is that when they're older, we'll actually look at online matrimionials and talk about why this is a good ad or not... what qualities this person values, etc.  

 

Sorry I don't have anymore advice.  Insha'Allah, somebody else will have some good advice.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernVAMom View Post

Salaam sisters,

 

I am posting for the first time on this forum.  I really need some input from you all.

 

My DS5 has had a crush on this little girl in his class, Jessica.  He just came home today and told me he and his friends were talking and Jessica is his girlfriend.  I have no idea how to address this.  He's told me that he's played the "married" game on the playground with Jessica and another boy and another girl.  I eventually learned that the "married" game meant that a little boy was supposed to catch a little girl and then kiss her and that meant they were married.  I discouraged him from doing that, telling him only grown ups get married.  Well, he kept insisting it was another boy in the class who was trying to "marry" the girl and DS was only helping his friend out. 

 

When he told me that Jessica's his girlfriend, I asked what that meant.  I tried to say, it's ok to have friends who are girls and anyone can be a friend, whether it's a boy or girl.  I tried to say that Jessica can be his best friend but not his girlfriend.  He seemed embarassed.  I don't want to be harsh and shut down all communication.  I still want to make sure he feels free to share what's going with him rather than be embarassed to share the truth with me. 

 

Anyway, I am worried that if I don't discourage this behavior that later in life, he'll want to date when he's older.  I'd really like for him to learn proper muslim behavior and follow Islam for his relationships.  I really don't know what to do.  Please help!!

 

Thank you so much!

 

 



 


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#70 of 178 Old 06-12-2011, 07:22 PM
 
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Thank you Umsami for your post.  It's comforting to hear your sons are thinking about marriage and this seems to be on par for this age group.  I know my son heard the term "girlfriend" at school b/c I have never used that term. 

 

I am a little less worried about this from when he first told me about his "girlfriend".  I'm trying to just keep the lines of communication open and hope he continues to fill me in on his thoughts and feelings. 

 

Insh'Allah, this will pass soon and he'll enter the "girls are yucky" stage quickly.

 

 

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#71 of 178 Old 06-14-2011, 07:30 AM
 
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My dd is more trouble than my ds re: relationships. She never declared that she had a "boyfriend," (she's 7yo but went to daycare and that kind of thing happens there all the time) but she's more precocious about the subject. Ds (10yo) talks about someday getting married and having a family. Dd was into the princess thing for a while, and princes just seem to go with that package. Anyway, I do hope that they can see a lot of what passes for "relationships" among young people are often abuse situations. I've seen so much mistreatment, and the social insanity of the back-and-forths...it's just too much to comprehend. Good luck to us all, and insha-Allah they will see the good of building firm, stable, loving family lives when the time is right. We do say, "we don't have girlfriends/boyfriends. We have friends." And we're pretty firm about it when we talk. I think, with this consistent approach, and honest talk about a lot of what goes down between boyfriends and girlfriends, we're doing all we can and should.

 

Of course, modeling a fun and loving relationship at home should help, right?

 

I'm also ready to hook up with a dhikr group in Dubai, if anyone knows anyone. I'm not well-networked, esp among Sufis. We have a mosque right across the street from our house, so I should be able to meet some Muslims. It's a very mixed bag in the mosques, and I am trying, but if anyone knows anyone, please let me know. Love to my sisters. blowkiss.gif

 

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#72 of 178 Old 06-14-2011, 12:34 PM
 
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Salaam,
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amatullah0 View Post

curious, which name are you talking about? 

 


Sorry it has taken me this long to answer your question. I saw it earlier, and was gonna reply and then things start to happen like crazy!

 

It's Eliana... though it's definitely Hebrew in origin, on wiki it says in Arabic it means "the bright"..and citation needed! I really really like this name!

 

This is how it is pronounced  "Eliana" . For boy, I like Musa...and my mother recently came up with "Tamjid" and she is adament about it. So, if it's a boy I think I will name Tamjid Musa. Let's see!

 

I am having such rough time with this pregnancy!!! I am abt 31 and some weeks now, around 30 weeks, slipped and fell from the stairs. Ended up in L&D and stayed there for 5 hours, they monitored the baby. Alhamdulliah baby is fine!!!!! Thanksssss Allah!! But I was having this crazy pubic bone pain since last couple of months, it just got elevated. So, kind of on modified bed rest. Having Braxton hicks (more at night)...very uncomfy!! However, just praying that baby stays put at least till full term. My DH is in Bangladesh (re-locaed couple of years ago due to his some health issue..he needs that envirorment change thingy)...so, I have been extra emotional last few weeks to top everything...though we are constantly on skype and all that...but some days I wish he were here! Anyway, I guess c'est la vie!

 

Thanks for the info on duas. I will keep you ladies updated. I am finally getting really...excited about the baby! :)

 

Pls keep us in your duas.
 

 


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#73 of 178 Old 06-15-2011, 05:50 AM
 
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assalam alaikum warahmatullah dear sisters,

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by kangamitroo View Post

 

assalamu alaykum ladies,

I am trying to find information about the life of Khadija ra & Asma bint Abi Bakr.  this is for my own education, and also for my daughter (age 7). we are going to watch a dars competition for girls, and I thought we should do some reading together.  the amount of information online is so overwhelming, and many of the websites are not exactly high-quality.  (I have always liked knowing the source of information....and the little booklets in a masjid do not exactly provide this.)

 

i welcome any suggestions you might have for good books/websites for teaching about these or other historically important muslimahs.

 

here's an excellent series by sheikh suhaib webb http://www.enjoyislam.com/lectures/Imam%20Suhaib%20Webb/index.html may Allah reward him, and all of our teachers abundantly, and bless us all to benefit from their knowledge. ameen!

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#74 of 178 Old 06-24-2011, 05:31 PM
 
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OK, can I thread-crash to *very politely* make an inquiry, pretty please? I know this question might really irk some people but I am asking it in good faith, if that makes sense. Please be gentle. redface.gif

I suppose it would be like, in Judaism you have Orthodox Jews and then you have less observant ones, in different degrees and ranks.

I know Muslims are supposed to learn Arabic to read the Koran in its original, and etc. I do get it.

But are there any here who might be the equivalent of "Reform Muslims"? I know that is a really, REALLY touchy subject.

I know Muslim-born people (i.e. not converts) who consider themselves pretty good Muslims but aren't 100% observant. They'll listen to music, even drink some alcohol, not worry about depicting photos of people, etc. But they'll still read the Koran, observe Ramadan, pray, etc. (Maybe not the formal prayers but pray nonetheless.) The girls won't even always cover, they'll socialize at school, etc.

I feel myself something like a reform Muslim. I don't refer to myself as that because I don't want to claim the title when I'm not 100% observant. I do not drink, I go back and forth between covering and not, I do listen to music but I don't listen to much "worldly" music, more instrumental. I read from the Koran daily, I believe in the one undivided God, I believe in the prophets, etc. But I am not Arab-centric. I pray but in my own words. My son is not circumcised. My husband is VERY SADLY totally anti-Islam. I don't ever have a plan to make a pilgrimage to Mecca but I do take "personal" pilgrimages to places in nature where I can marvel at God's work.

So... again, I wouldn't feel I have the right to call myself Muslim because I do not adhere to 100% of it. I follow my conscience. I do believe the Koran is 100% inspired, but not necessarily that the way people live the religion today are 100% necessary for every detail. I also know that this wishy-washy thing is strictly condemned in the Koran and that you shouldn't take some messages and believe them and take others and disbelieve them. But at the same time, it is my true desire to follow God and I am content that I am doing the best I can.

Does anyone have any... I don't know. Not sure if I'm looking for advice, maybe just opinions?

I'm not coming here for anyone to tell me that it's "alright" to be just-sorta-kinda Muslim. But I'm just wondering if that's a path anyone is on as well, where in an all-or-nothing religion you're, well, neither all NOR none, but somewhere in between.

ALSO, on a related but different note... Are there any non-Arab centric Muslims on here? Or is Islam necessarily somewhat Arab-centric?

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#75 of 178 Old 06-24-2011, 07:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi seawitch, Assalamu Alaikum:

 

I do think there are plenty of Muslims like you--who feel free to call themselves Muslims as well.  Among non-Arabs I do know, there is a bit of resentment of the Arab-centric nature of Islam.  While it's understandable given the language of the Qur'an, Arabs are <20% of the Muslim population--so it does get rather annoying. :)  (I say this as somebody who is married to an Arab. LOL)  

 

There are some progressive Muslim communities out there where I think you'd totally fit in.  Just Google "progressive Muslims".  I know there are a varying level of Progressive Muslim Mamas here.  I'm definitely on the spectrum.  I've been known to say my salat in both English and Arabic--because I honestly feel closer to Allah(swt) when I pray in English.  Most of my du'as are in English as well.  These days, I sound like translation Barbie (or Fulla ;)) as I tend to say things in both languages because I want my kids to understand what we say.  So I'll say "Assalamu Aaikum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuh" when they come home...and also say "May the Peace and blessings of God, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate, be upon you."  It just feels more natural to me--although I also see the value of a unifying language.

 

I don't think anybody thinks one has to adhere to Islam 100% to be able to call themselves Muslim.  Nobody I know does.  I say I'm an aspiring Muslimah... because I aspire to submit to God... but sadly, I usually fall quite short.  We all have areas where we struggle.  Just because you see a woman in hijab... or see somebody who prays 5x/day... it doesn't mean that they are perfect Muslims.  Only Allah(swt) knows their hearts--and where they struggle.  That reminds me, when reading Qur'an, I know that one gets more reward from Allah(swt) if one has to struggle with it.  I assume it's like that in many aspects of faith.  Faith is a path...and areas where we struggle at certain times of our lives might become easy...and other areas will become more difficult, or we'll be more aware of areas where we struggle.  Enjoy the journey.  Know that Allah(swt) meets you and loves you where you are right now.  

 

Peace. :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by seawitch View Post

OK, can I thread-crash to *very politely* make an inquiry, pretty please? I know this question might really irk some people but I am asking it in good faith, if that makes sense. Please be gentle. redface.gif

I suppose it would be like, in Judaism you have Orthodox Jews and then you have less observant ones, in different degrees and ranks.

I know Muslims are supposed to learn Arabic to read the Koran in its original, and etc. I do get it.

But are there any here who might be the equivalent of "Reform Muslims"? I know that is a really, REALLY touchy subject.

I know Muslim-born people (i.e. not converts) who consider themselves pretty good Muslims but aren't 100% observant. They'll listen to music, even drink some alcohol, not worry about depicting photos of people, etc. But they'll still read the Koran, observe Ramadan, pray, etc. (Maybe not the formal prayers but pray nonetheless.) The girls won't even always cover, they'll socialize at school, etc.

I feel myself something like a reform Muslim. I don't refer to myself as that because I don't want to claim the title when I'm not 100% observant. I do not drink, I go back and forth between covering and not, I do listen to music but I don't listen to much "worldly" music, more instrumental. I read from the Koran daily, I believe in the one undivided God, I believe in the prophets, etc. But I am not Arab-centric. I pray but in my own words. My son is not circumcised. My husband is VERY SADLY totally anti-Islam. I don't ever have a plan to make a pilgrimage to Mecca but I do take "personal" pilgrimages to places in nature where I can marvel at God's work.

So... again, I wouldn't feel I have the right to call myself Muslim because I do not adhere to 100% of it. I follow my conscience. I do believe the Koran is 100% inspired, but not necessarily that the way people live the religion today are 100% necessary for every detail. I also know that this wishy-washy thing is strictly condemned in the Koran and that you shouldn't take some messages and believe them and take others and disbelieve them. But at the same time, it is my true desire to follow God and I am content that I am doing the best I can.

Does anyone have any... I don't know. Not sure if I'm looking for advice, maybe just opinions?

I'm not coming here for anyone to tell me that it's "alright" to be just-sorta-kinda Muslim. But I'm just wondering if that's a path anyone is on as well, where in an all-or-nothing religion you're, well, neither all NOR none, but somewhere in between.

ALSO, on a related but different note... Are there any non-Arab centric Muslims on here? Or is Islam necessarily somewhat Arab-centric?


 


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#76 of 178 Old 06-24-2011, 11:54 PM
 
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A few things to keep in mind that may be helpful:

 

  1. Islam isn't measured in strictness or asceticism.  The more restricted ideology does not necessarily represent greater observance. 
  2. There is a lot of room for interpretation, there has traditionally been a lot of room for interpretation, and there is a lot of room for cultural specificity, built directly into Islam.  And that shows very much throughout the global Muslim community.  Islam in Mali is not expressed as Islam in China is not expressed as Islam in Pakistan, etc.  There are unifying factors, obviously, but there is not a unifying cultural takeover involved.
  3. There are a wide variety of indigenous North American Muslim communities.  The American Muslim community is still relatively young, but African American Islam, second and third generation immigrant Islam, and the diverse community of domestic Muslim converts all have distinctly non-Arab-centric manifestations.  Not wanting to subsume yourself in Arab (or South Asian, or what have you) culture doesn't set you apart quite as much as you may think.  Among the very orthodox and very unorthodox alike.
  4. At the same time I would be cautious of taking a scalpel to the religion and cutting out any bit of Arabic or things that have become integral to modern Arab cultures under a sense of their being Arab-centric -- as being things not relevant to a North American context.  Formal prayers being given in Arabic, for one example, is simply due to the nature of all of us having been taught how to perform them by an Arab man.  Performing them exactly as taught is an act of caution before god, not cultural supremacy.  Had our very Arab prophet shown them to us in Klingon, so the global community of Muslims would be praying in Klingon.  
  5. On the level of music and photos and things like that, these are some very good examples of observance not being measured in restriction.  These may be hotly debated issues in some circles (mostly on internet forums, in my experience), but there are valid orthodox legal rulings in existence which say these things are ok, making it exactly as observant, if not as precautious, to not concern one's self over avoiding these things.  There are leading Sheikhs around the world who do not concern themselves with these things.
  6. There are observant Muslims and unobservant Muslims and non-Muslims; there are people undecided as to their beliefs.  There are no sort of Muslims or partial Muslims.  The bottom line on belief is just that ... belief, in the unity of god, in the nature and identity of named prophets, and in the Qur'an as the word of god.  If you've got that then you're Muslim.  Any adjectives which follow are just regarding making decisions about sects, about interpretations, about the role of religion in your life, about observances, and sometimes about social politics.
  7. While reading the Qur'an it is sometimes helpful to keep in mind the differences between "this is a statement I think is wrong," "this is statement which seems like it may be contextual," "this is a statement regarding which it seems like there may be interpretational differences," "this is a statement I don't understand," and "this is a statement I'm just not able to or willing to apply."  (Context-specificity and interpretation are not endlessly malleable, but they've been discussed and discussed ad nauseum and you may find people working within very traditional frameworks agreeing with you more than you might expect.)
  8. And lastly, I think you would really, really like the book Journey to the End of Islam.  :D
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#77 of 178 Old 06-25-2011, 05:18 AM
 
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Had our very Arab prophet shown them to us in Klingon, so the global community of Muslims would be praying in Klingon.

ROTFLMAO.gif

Anyway, thank you both so much for your insight. You've given me lots to think about.

And I think I was a little unclear in my previous post. I think Arabic culture is absolutely stunning and beautiful in some of its aspects (not that I am really well-versed in it, just the bits I know about art and architecture and such). I am in awe at some of it. On the other hand, I do think some of mainstream Islamic expression is, as one of you said, contextual and not necessarily tied to religious expression. On the other hand, I also think it's presumptuous of me to say what is and is not valid or necessary for religion. It kind of makes me feel better to know there's religious people who debate about the same sorts of things. wink1.gif The other thing is, I don't think it's the Koran necessarily that is Arab-centric. Yes, it has some imagery and some references to its culture. I'm talking more about the religion as a whole. For example I read a long time ago about a woman who didn't want to break the fast with dates, I think? Because she didn't like them, but that was the traditional food to break it with, etc.

I'm still not 100% through with the entire Koran, I tend to read the same things over and over heh. I've read the first couple of chapters and when I only have a little time I'll read the shorter chapters of the last half but I haven't done a straight read of it. I haven't really found too many sections so far that speak exclusively to the observances in the Muslim community. I'm working on that right now, actually. Hopefully this time I will get through it without getting distracted. smile.gif I suppose this is my current struggle. redface.gif

I'll try to pick up that book if my library has it. smile.gif

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#78 of 178 Old 06-25-2011, 01:14 PM
 
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The breaking fasts with dates thing is a hadith thing anyway, not the Qur'an.  (Which is not intended to be dismissive of following hadith ... they're just different things with different levels of importance.)  The prophet liked dates, and at the same time they were locally a readily available, accessible to everyone, thoroughly non-ostentatious food.  So breaking fasts with dates is following the word and habits of the prophet, which is good, breaking fasts with simple foods is following the basic spirit of the idea, which is good too, and breaking fasts however you choose is completely valid -- it's not eschewing religious practice so much as it is choosing to not participate in a bonus act of veneration.

 

I just mention that because there is a lot of information on Islamic practice out there which really doesn't distinguish between what is obligatory, what is recommended, and sometimes even what is basically neutral.  It can lead to the impression that Islam has a much more complicated set of very detailed obligations than it really does.  

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#79 of 178 Old 06-25-2011, 01:19 PM
 
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6.  While reading the Qur'an it is sometimes helpful to keep in mind the differences between "this is a statement I think is wrong," "this is statement which seems like it may be contextual," "this is a statement regarding which it seems like there may be interpretational differences," "this is a statement I don't understand," and "this is a statement I'm just not able to or willing to apply."  (Context-specificity and interpretation are not endlessly malleable, but they've been discussed and discussed ad nauseum and you may find people working within very traditional frameworks agreeing with you more than you might expect.)

 

7.  And lastly, I think you would really, really like the book Journey to the End of Islam.  :D


on #6--it's a relief to see i'm not the only one who thinks these things while reading Qur'an.  Liquesce, your comments and feedback as a more experienced sister are always helpful.  thank you.

 

on #7--read it last month, and it was a wonderful description on one person's struggles and exploration of faith.  really, really enjoyed it.

 

 

Jo--I hope your family is enjoying the adventure, inshaAllah.

 

salaams to all of you

 


mama to one amazing daughter born 1/2004
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#80 of 178 Old 07-02-2011, 07:30 PM
 
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Hello!

 

I hope you don't mind if I subscribe to this thread. :) I have been in previous Muslim Mamas threads, even though I am technically neither. I just like learning about Islam and want to be a mother.

 

I recently read an English translation of the Qur'an and have gone to the local masjid several times. They are very welcoming to me, and its been a wonderful experience that I hope to continue. I don't really have anything to contribute, but I like to lurk and read what everyone else posts :)

 

 

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#82 of 178 Old 07-03-2011, 04:06 AM
 
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Peace and blessings to you all! Welcome to the new women here. blowkiss.gif

 

I've been primarily offline, waiting for internet to be connected in our home. They came and put in the outside cable today, so I will nag the company this afternoon to get an installer to come ASAP. It's a little frightening how much we depend on internet for some things. Wow. I have been feeling isolated, but I decided to give that up (seriously!) and enjoy the solitude (which would be more like real solitude if I didn't have two children who are bored and a dh out of the country right now).

 

Anyway, Dubai is good, if hot. It's really nice to get the adhan and access to the mosque (I can almost fall into it from our house) for any prayer I want. I am working on my Arabic, and it's going OK. Kids are also studying, and we have begun meeting people within our compound and at our neighborhood mosque.

 

We are going to visit the ILs in a couple weeks, returning to Dubai for most of Ramadan. Meantime, I am trying to see when we might be able to go for Umrah. Would love to shoot for Hajj, but I might have to do that alone. Will see.

 

Anyway, I am on a library computer now and will check in more often once we have internet at home.

 

Peace

 

 

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#83 of 178 Old 07-03-2011, 06:34 PM
 
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:) Thanks for the welcomes :)

 

That sounds like quite an experience. :) It is my dream to live in Turkey for a few years, though it seems unlikely to happen at this point :)

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#84 of 178 Old 07-04-2011, 07:34 PM
 
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Welcome dealic.  :)
 

Quote:
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on #6--it's a relief to see i'm not the only one who thinks these things while reading Qur'an. 



Just wanted to come back and clarify that I'm not advocating for going through the Qur'an with a red pen marking things as wrong, wrong, wrong.  redface.gif  I sort of assume y'all know that though.  

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#85 of 178 Old 07-05-2011, 07:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome all of the new sisters. :)

 

ljooj--Alhamdullilah, that you are settling well in Dubai.  Insha'Allah, you'll get to make umrah and hajj. :)

 

 

Liquesce--Saw your post on the Naomi thread.  LOL :)  

 

 

Are you guys getting ready for Ramadan? I hate to say it, but I am so not looking forward to summer fasting--especailly as I seem to have an issue with dehydration even during winter fasting.  Blech.  Make du'a for me.  I am excited though that my 7year old wants to try fasting this year.  I'm happy that he's so excited to try so I'm trying to use that to be excited myself.

 

Oh, I was going to make a Ramadan banner as our paper one had finally died.  When I was at Target, they now have these fabric party banners (no writing) for $3.99.  I bought one for DD's bday and I think I'm going to buy two different ones and turn them into a Ramadan banner.  For the non-crafty type (like me), it should be easy to just write letters on each flag with a fabric pen. :)


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#86 of 178 Old 07-07-2011, 05:34 AM
 
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I can't believe it's Ramadan time again! I don't think I'll be fasting again this year. DS will be 6 mo in August and he still breastfeeds so much. I still haven't made up my days (the whole month!) from last year when I was pregnant. What did you all do? 

 

My goals for Ramadan are to get up and have suhoor with DH and to make sure he has yummy iftars every night. Oh we should share menus when the time comes! I want to memorize at least one surah, inshAllah. I've never been good at memorization and I basically gave up when I got pregnant and lost all mental capacity, but I think I'm getting some of it back now! lol Also, I want to pray on time and pray more sunnah prayers than I do now. My intention of course is that all these good things will continue after Ramadan ends as well. May Allah help us!

 

ljooj- I just had a friend (American) move back to the states from UAE. She actually didn't like it and felt very lonesome. I hope inshAllah you are not having the same experience and are able to meet a new friends? Do you work? She did, but most of her coworkers were non Muslim so she didn't really see them socially. InshAllah I hope you get to make Ummrah too!


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#87 of 178 Old 07-07-2011, 09:51 AM
 
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I don't think I'm fasting either again this year. I'm on a medication that needs to be spaced throughout the day.  On the up side, that means I can actually taste food for salt and such prior to serving.  lol.gif  

 

 

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#88 of 178 Old 07-07-2011, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah tasting.  My husband always does this weird taste it on the tip of your tongue and spit it out thing...but I've never done that. I just try and make things I've made enough times that I can guesstimate well enough on the salt--so that only minor changes are needed before I serve.  It works most of the time. ;)

 

I debate with myself on fasting.  DS3 will be turning one during Ramadan this year Alhamdullilah.  The thing is, he's still exclusively breastfed--and has zero interest in any real food.  Carpet fuzz? Stickers? He'll eat those like there's no tomorrow--but any sort of food, no thanks.  He's not even interested in drinking anything other than breast milk.  I'm hoping with his new two top teeth, he'll want to eat some real food soon, but I won't hold my breath.  I'm thinking about trying--and just seeing what happens.  I also thought that maybe I'd do a food-only fast, and keep drinking.  I don't know if Allah(swt) would accept it, but that's not really the point.  It's more to make me feel apart of the whole fasting experience.  I'll still pay for a hungry person to eat each day.  I figure as long as I have water, my breast milk volume should be O.K.


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#89 of 178 Old 07-09-2011, 11:09 AM
 
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Salaam dear sisters! Just read through the thread and I think I'm caught up...I would like to reply to several of you lovely ladies

 

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I feel myself something like a reform Muslim. I don't refer to myself as that because I don't want to claim the title when I'm not 100% observant. I do not drink, I go back and forth between covering and not, I do listen to music but I don't listen to much "worldly" music, more instrumental. I read from the Koran daily, I believe in the one undivided God, I believe in the prophets, etc. But I am not Arab-centric. I pray but in my own words. My son is not circumcised. My husband is VERY SADLY totally anti-Islam. I don't ever have a plan to make a pilgrimage to Mecca but I do take "personal" pilgrimages to places in nature where I can marvel at God's work.

So... again, I wouldn't feel I have the right to call myself Muslim because I do not adhere to 100% of it. I follow my conscience. I do believe the Koran is 100% inspired, but not necessarily that the way people live the religion today are 100% necessary for every detail. I also know that this wishy-washy thing is strictly condemned in the Koran and that you shouldn't take some messages and believe them and take others and disbelieve them. But at the same time, it is my true desire to follow God and I am content that I am doing the best I can.

Does anyone have any... I don't know. Not sure if I'm looking for advice, maybe just opinions?
 

 

Seawitch, hello, welcome, peace! So glad you posted! I have been thinking about your post since I read it a few days ago. I think it shows a very beautiful and pure intention which is the most important thing in Islam - actions are based on their intentions. The word Islam is based on the root "s-l-m" which has its meaning in peace but Islam also means submission. Our struggle in this life is to submit to God to the best of our own personal ability. The Quran and the hadith continually say that each person must be a Muslim to the best of their own personal ability ("ma istata'tum" "what you are able" etc.)  which implies that no person will be able to submit in the same way as another. However, we all must do our best to submit and not sell our souls short. When it comes to something like alcohol, I don't drink it because I know that that is what God wants for me, etc. But even God revealed the no-alcohol aspect of Islam gradually (it started with dont be drunk when you do your prayers) because he understands the human psyche (he created it!). I think you should approach your questions and feelings from the basis of your belief in God - what do you think God wants you to do? Try to align your life with your answers to this question (they may change over time) and keep your intentions pure heartbeat.gif Knowledge is something that comes gradually, as is submission.

 

 

Quote:
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My goals for Ramadan are to get up and have suhoor with DH and to make sure he has yummy iftars every night. Oh we should share menus when the time comes! I want to memorize at least one surah, inshAllah. I've never been good at memorization and I basically gave up when I got pregnant and lost all mental capacity, but I think I'm getting some of it back now! lol Also, I want to pray on time and pray more sunnah prayers than I do now. My intention of course is that all these good things will continue after Ramadan ends as well. May Allah help us!

 

 

Can anyone share a small meat-pie/pastry recipe or samboosa/samboosak recipe? (Veg recipes wanted too). If you have one that uses whole grains and isn't deep fried, even better! I want to make a TON of these and put them in the freezer so that we can take them out and quickly warm them for iftar/sahoor. My husband has requested this, lol.gif I know it's not the healthiest. I also would like to memorize more surahs...here's an awesome resource/website that helps and is fun and user friendly http://www.mounthira.com/
 

 

Also! FREE online Ramadan prep courses offered by the Rahmah Foundation (based out of Cali, founded to help women learn about Islam from women scholars) for whoever is interested. The Inner Dimensions of Fasting course looks so wonderful, and a great balance to the other fiqh class if you are into that. http://therahmahfoundation.org/programs/store/#ecwid:category=1196205&mode=category&offset=0&sort=normal I've signed up for both, just hope I can find the time for them....we are in the middle of moving to a new place (same city, just across town), I'm taking pre-grad classes, and things are busy!

Please keep my husband and me and my son in your dua....just tell God you are praying from youngspiritmom....He knows who I am lol.gif

Love and peace and well wishes for all of you inspiring sisters


 

 


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#90 of 178 Old 07-09-2011, 12:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For a meat pie recipe, here's what I do.

 

If I'm being lazy... I usually buy a tin or two of Pillsbury Grand biscuits.  Of course, I buy the reduced fat kind so I don't feel guilty. :)  Then roll them out with a rolling pin into a larger circle.  If I'm not being lazy, I either use bread dough (Artisan bread in 5 minutes per day, the half whole wheat kind) or pita dough or pie dough.  

 

For the filling, I brown ground beef or lamb with onion, salt, and pepper in a pan....and then add in about 1/3- 1/2 cup of greek yogurt, juice from 1/2 a lemon, and pine nuts which I saute in butter before hand.  Taste...and add more lemon, salt, etc. whatever you need.

 

Then I put the rolled out grand in a muffin tin, and fill with the mixture, kind of crimping it around it.  (For an open face one...or you can make half moon turnovers and put on a baking sheet lined with parchment.)  If I do half-moons, I'll brush them with egg wash.   Bake at 375 for about 30 minutes or so.  

 

***I've never tried freezing them, but I think I will.  ISA, the kids and I will be gone the first week of Ramadan, so I'm stocking the freezer for DH.  Lentil soup, meat pies, macarona bechamel, etc.  And lots of apricot nectar and dates in the 'fridge. :)***


Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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