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#61 of 199 Old 03-29-2011, 09:37 AM
 
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I've just read this whole thread and am almost in tears (good ones).  I grew up in a very conservative protestant community.  My early 'tendencies' toward mysticism were viewed as evil.  My mother and I prayed that my experiances and senses would be taken away and that it was proof that there was generational sin in our family and that the devil was after me.  Talk about fear and trauma.  I'm 30 years old and still have to battle fear when I pick up my tarot.  I however never fealt that the tarot, dreams and senses were bad and that it helped me understand and appreciate God more.  I have deeply struggled with faith for years.  I believe in God and secretly consider myself Christian but have told ppl I'm pagan b/c it's easier to understand.  Even though it's not true.  I haven't prayed in years feeling hypocritical praying to a God who it seems I've turned my back on.  Though I havne't really.  lol, maybe someone out there can understand what I mean.  I actually contacted an orthodox church in the neighborhood and inquired about attending.  A lady in church e-mailed me back and said that if I'd like to attend we could meet before the service and she would walk me through it.  I haven't replied out of fear.  I converted to Catholicism about 5 years ago and miss the symbolism of mass but haven't been to one in a couple years.  Please tell me I'm not alone.

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#62 of 199 Old 03-29-2011, 10:08 AM
 
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You aren't! This book is fantastic and comes with a Catholic angle: The Path of a Christian Witch

 

I'm so sorry for all of the things you have been put through, faithsstuff. hug2.gif


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#63 of 199 Old 03-29-2011, 10:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome, our sister Faithsstuff (I am almost 30 as well BTW so I feel connected to you as the same generation)! You had ME in tears reading your post. I realized the church has pushed you away...how wrong and shame on us... but JESUS has never stopped drawing you to Himself. And we are here for you.

 

My husband wrote this piece on the Nicene Creed which I hope encourages you http://www.destroyideas.com/ . We have taken the simplicity of the faith in Christ and added so much to it, that the more we add the more people we exclude, when the purpose of the Kingdom of God is to draw ALL into fellowship with the Father. The Nicene Creed does not say you can't be spiritual, or that God doesn't work in mysterious ways beyond our understanding, on the contrary:
"The earth is the LORD'S, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein." Psalm 24:1

""For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8

The Bible is full of meditating, trance/vision, etc....yet we downplay all that because it doesn't fit in our neat theology.

 

So again, welcome sister...let Jesus draw you apart from all theology we've built up around Him. I believe our generation is a new movement of the spirit, a Barna study shows most Christians our age believe in the "spirit"/have spiritual experiences, many don't ascribe to dogmatic theology, many accept people of all faiths, homosexuals, etc. I don't ascribe to the rapture doctrine at all, but in that light, "'In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams." Acts 2:17. So rest assured it is God Himself that is stirring you and that change is here. You will no longer be alone.

 
 

 


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#64 of 199 Old 03-29-2011, 11:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by faithsstuff View Post

I've just read this whole thread and am almost in tears (good ones).  I grew up in a very conservative protestant community.  My early 'tendencies' toward mysticism were viewed as evil.  My mother and I prayed that my experiances and senses would be taken away and that it was proof that there was generational sin in our family and that the devil was after me.  Talk about fear and trauma.  I'm 30 years old and still have to battle fear when I pick up my tarot.  I however never fealt that the tarot, dreams and senses were bad and that it helped me understand and appreciate God more.  I have deeply struggled with faith for years.  I believe in God and secretly consider myself Christian but have told ppl I'm pagan b/c it's easier to understand.  Even though it's not true.  I haven't prayed in years feeling hypocritical praying to a God who it seems I've turned my back on.  Though I havne't really.  lol, maybe someone out there can understand what I mean.  I actually contacted an orthodox church in the neighborhood and inquired about attending.  A lady in church e-mailed me back and said that if I'd like to attend we could meet before the service and she would walk me through it.  I haven't replied out of fear.  I converted to Catholicism about 5 years ago and miss the symbolism of mass but haven't been to one in a couple years.  Please tell me I'm not alone.



You're not alone! It has taken me years to reconcile my faith in terms of mysticism and my pagan leanings-with the fact that I have always felt Jesus...but as I said earlier, I feel a peace now. I don't think that a peace like that can come from anything that is wrong. It's profound.

 


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#65 of 199 Old 03-29-2011, 04:47 PM
 
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thank you ladies for your warm welcome!  The timing of this thread and wisdom inside may very well be mystic.  For a year my mother has been struggling with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and it has been agony looking for a community that can acknowledge my not-so-typical understanding of God.  I got a call today that she has fluid compressing her heart so for the first time in a long time I'll be lighting candles and praying.  lol,, I need it.  On New Years Eve my 17 year old sister had to call 911 b/c she found mom collapsed in the shower, I know she is terrified (and humiliated) and is desperate not to repeat that scenario.  *geez, I've started unloading so I'm going to continue for a minute, I'm not offended if you skip ahead :)* I have 2 collage age sibs with aspburgers at home too.  My mom's mother died when she was 17 and my mom's goal is not to pass before my youngest sister graduates h.s.  We're just so tired and she's so sick.  10 years ago (when she was 40) she was diagnosed with stage 4 b.c. (btw, that's only 10 years older then me) and after 3 years she beat it.  There has been so much struggle and so much of our families life can be measured on the cancer timeline.  It so saddens me that my brother and 2 sisters have never really known my mother as healthy and well.  SHe is a fighter and has her own relationship with God, but man, we could use a break.  I have a bright, amazing 2 year old she has never taken a walk with or been able to play trains with on the floor.....Enough.  Her life is not over and she is still the most dynamic person I know.  Sorry, sorry, I had to let it out.  If anyone out there feels lead to offer a prayer, a vibe, a thought etc for calm in this situation, I  know a whole family who would appreciate it.

 

On another note- I've had some of the most shocking and real dreams/visitations/experiances of my life as I get to know my mother better and we learn to approach her death together.  It would be interesting if anyone else had any theories/scriptures about that.

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#66 of 199 Old 03-29-2011, 10:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I certainly will be praying for your Mother, you and your family. Also, for a new path of health for your family and no more paths to cancer! I've struggled bad with my health twice, once from 13-15 and it was never diagnosed...just felt sick a lot and lost weight. Then again from Nov 2008-March 2010 with colitis from a parasitic/yeast infection...lost weight again and feared for my life. It was a dark time where I never doubted God (I have at other times oddly enough when everything was ok with me) even if I died, but a dark tiring time none-the-less. I thank God every day for my renewed health and essentially for giving me my life back, and am in tune with caring for my temple more than many people my age are. I recently attended the funeral of a co-worker who died of bc metastasized through her whole body...she was only 39 and had been battling it for 10 years. I worked with her for a couple of years so we got pretty close, I watched the battle. While it still is a hard thing to grasp "why", I do know she has inspired me more than almost anyone I know. She remained as positive as I think one could be, worked until just a few months before her death, and fought hard to stay with her kids as long as she could. I rejoiced with her that she made it to her daughter's quinceanera in November 2009. All that to say I know this darkness first hand and will pray for Christ's light to shine into it.

As the saying goes, God works in mysterious ways, I know we all found this thread at just the right moment. I am pretty in awe myself as I thought I would just flippantly create this thread haha.

Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#67 of 199 Old 03-29-2011, 10:47 PM
 
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I am one.  It comes natural in the way that it just makes sense and speaks to me, I was excited when I learned it had a name.  But I also had the chance to take a course taught by a Christian mystic and it was great.  The Bible is full of mystical experiences, really amazing spiritual deep meanings and messages (and messengers) that I think sometimes Christians gloss over that part of the mystical spiritual realm.  I am thankful for my faith as I am in a hard place and that has taken my spiritual plane to different levels I am still figuring out. 


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#68 of 199 Old 03-29-2011, 11:15 PM
 
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faithsstuff, I have so much to share, but am exhausted tonight. I just lost my grandmother who was basically another parent. We were caring for her in her home until she lost her battle with cancer. The hardest thing any of us have ever done. Physically and mentally. It sounds like your mom is a fighter and it seems that those are the ones who are able to make it through. Especially since she has goals. I clung very tightly to scripture and a faith that does not fit into any category of a man made religion. I have scriptures and books that were revolutionary. One book in particular that is the most amazing : His Thoughts Toward Me, by Marie Chapian. It is out of print but amazon usually has used ones from someone, somewhere. Honestly, changed my life and trust in "God" extremely. (We could change it to Her thoughts too, whatever) The author takes scripture and interprets them as if God was speaking. Gentle words with lots of healing. 

 

Just wanted to say to feel free to share and let anything out that you want. Sending you love and prayers. 

 

 

 

* Cool that you were able to take a course in mysticism sol y paz. 

 

 


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#69 of 199 Old 03-30-2011, 05:14 AM
 
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Faithsstuff, your family is in my prayers.

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#70 of 199 Old 03-30-2011, 06:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by faithsstuff View Post

thank you ladies for your warm welcome!  The timing of this thread and wisdom inside may very well be mystic.  For a year my mother has been struggling with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and it has been agony looking for a community that can acknowledge my not-so-typical understanding of God.  I got a call today that she has fluid compressing her heart so for the first time in a long time I'll be lighting candles and praying.  lol,, I need it.  On New Years Eve my 17 year old sister had to call 911 b/c she found mom collapsed in the shower, I know she is terrified (and humiliated) and is desperate not to repeat that scenario.  *geez, I've started unloading so I'm going to continue for a minute, I'm not offended if you skip ahead :)* I have 2 collage age sibs with aspburgers at home too.  My mom's mother died when she was 17 and my mom's goal is not to pass before my youngest sister graduates h.s.  We're just so tired and she's so sick.  10 years ago (when she was 40) she was diagnosed with stage 4 b.c. (btw, that's only 10 years older then me) and after 3 years she beat it.  There has been so much struggle and so much of our families life can be measured on the cancer timeline.  It so saddens me that my brother and 2 sisters have never really known my mother as healthy and well.  SHe is a fighter and has her own relationship with God, but man, we could use a break.  I have a bright, amazing 2 year old she has never taken a walk with or been able to play trains with on the floor.....Enough.  Her life is not over and she is still the most dynamic person I know.  Sorry, sorry, I had to let it out.  If anyone out there feels lead to offer a prayer, a vibe, a thought etc for calm in this situation, I  know a whole family who would appreciate it.

 

On another note- I've had some of the most shocking and real dreams/visitations/experiances of my life as I get to know my mother better and we learn to approach her death together.  It would be interesting if anyone else had any theories/scriptures about that.


wow, yesterday was a hard day for me too.  My mother (the person I'm probably most close to on this earth) has leukemia.  She's been doing beautifully with it and we've been able to keep her strong using alternative medicine even as she was going through chemo.  Yesterday they found that her ovary is the size of a full term pregnancy and she's going for a full hysterectomy.  Worst case scenario is ovarian cancer.  The problem is she is immuno-compromised and doesn't heal.  She has scratches from a year ago that haven't healed.  I'm scared for the first time because I'm not sure how she'll survive this.  I stayed up all night praying and will continue to do so.  But it's really, really hard.  I have a lot of inner work to do right now.

 

My mom's goal was to make it to my youngest brother's graduation which happened almost two years ago.  IN an appointment with another practitioner in my clinic yesterday she said that "she had lived a good life."  I think it was the last thing I wanted to hear.  perhaps we can support each other.

 

 

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#71 of 199 Old 03-30-2011, 06:17 AM
 
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Faithsstuff, feel free to share whatever you need. Hugs! My thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom and family. Do you want to share more of these dreams/visitations? I have had many experiences of communicating with the other side. I don't always understand it but have an ok knowledge of it. That is one of the things I had suppress in my old religion and now am embracing when it comes to me.



Welcome Sol! Yeah really neat about a christian mystic class. Leads me to ask... Since I am now out that I am into mysticism, healing earthy jesus love, I am looving to learn more and thought about taking a course on shaminism.
Besides reading alot of great books, what are you all doing to further your knowledge of mystical things?
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#72 of 199 Old 03-30-2011, 06:23 AM
 
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Oh PB, hugs too!! I guess we are writing at the same time. It is so wonderful all that you have done for your mom. Good things God is there to turn it over to him when we cannot do anymore. I will be praying for you both.grouphug.gif
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#73 of 199 Old 03-30-2011, 07:51 AM
 
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To further my study of mystical things...well...I have read so many books-studied so many branches of christianity/religion and western occultism that it's like I'm finally letting all of the knowledge settle-I tend to try to pray, meditate and work at faith and patience. That's just me, though!

I mean, I still do tarot, I read books that come along, pray, read the Bible-but really the 'work' I am doing is with peace with what I believe and how it does/doesn't fit in with typical religion. Hope that helps...there are so many different places to be on this journey I think!


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#74 of 199 Old 03-30-2011, 08:54 AM
 
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My heart just aches for the both of you, bonjourmama and PB. We'll light a prayer candle for you two and your mothers today. 
 

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Besides reading alot of great books, what are you all doing to further your knowledge of mystical things?


Meditation and presence are two big ones. Also practicing humility. I am a firm believer that we are all born with this innate wisdom and have been taught to ignore it over time. Tapping into that, remembering, is key. 

 

Francesca DeGrandis wrote two books that I LOVE LOVE LOVE called "Be a Goddess" and "Goddess Initiation". At first glance they appear to be nothing but fluffy bunny Wicca but they aren't fluffy bunny or Wiccan (though she does say Wicca I think she is more so using it in a more broad sense). These two books are full of meditations and prayers that have helped me immensely in looking within, changing my perspective and thus growing. I cannot recommend them enough! There is another book called Evolutionary Witchcraft that has the same sort of exercises though in this one they are more of meditations. Usually with books on the Craft and the like you get "this is how you cast a circle, this is how you do a spell, this is a collection of spells you can do" but these three books are different. They are about sacred wisdom and tapping into that. Don't get me wrong DeGrandis does talk spells but her version of them is a bit different. They look more like prayers and meditations. But, of course, spellwork is like a prayer and meditation to begin with. I should say they look more like the prayer and meditation we are accustom to. 

 

I have been drawn to DeGrandis for so long. 8 years I believe. (Holy crap!) It was before my first was born that I convinced a friend to buy me her book Goddess Initiation at Walden Books telling him I'd pay him back but I just needed this book. After reading through it and doing some of the ritual work (it's a book that is broken into 13 months to work through that has an initiation if you so chose in the 12th month) I went and bought Be a Goddess (a similar book but goes through weekly for a few weeks and without initiation). DeGrandis was trained in the Feri Tradition of witchcraft which I totally thought had to do with glittery winged beings like the ones on Lisa Frank folders but I was soooo wrong about that one. She refers to her path- The Third Road- as being for anyone and even shares stories of Christians she has taught. She refers to her path as "Celtic shamanism" but in all honesty I'm not sure how accurate her use of "shamanism" is. Or Celtic for that matter. No matter, it's still amazing stuff. Funny thing is I looked into the Feri Tradition and was like "meh, not for me" but I still kept going back to DeGrandis, then picked up Evolutionary Witchcraft and fell in love only to discover that the woman who wrote it was also trained in the Feri Tradition. Not saying I am interested in becoming an initiate in that tradition but I find it so interesting the things we are instinctually drawn to. 

 

Listen to me praddle on about them! You'd think I work selling their books. I want to share just one prayer of DeGrandis that I love so much. I view Nature as something separate from God. I don't worship Nature but I do revere her/it as I believe God does. I do think He has to answer to the laws of Nature. Blue probably knows where I am coming from with this when I say I believe God organizes Nature on creates it out of nothing. I do think it's important we respect our Mother. To be clear I do believe God has a wife and I address them as Father and Mother so when I am talking about Nature I generally refer to her/it as Great Mother. So anywho this is a prayer called The Laws of Nature DeGrandis wrote that I recite from time to time:

 

 

 

Quote:
 
I know the Laws of Nature are you, Lady.
Keep me mindful that I step upon Your Body,
with your feet,
that my sorrows are Your sorrows,
and that a healthy priest makes all things sound.
I feel Your breath in the wind, and Your hand in mine.
Keep me sincere.
Give me Your work,
which is to be joyous,
and to tend all things, because all things live, of themselves,
and with Your spirit.
Your will through mine, so mote it be.

 

This and a bit more of her work can be found here. To me this hits on my being a part of Nature, a part of that whole. Being able to remember that is very humbling to me.  

 

I didn't mean to go on and on about books because I know that's not what you asked for but these books help me to practice, to fuel that growth within me. I took a bunch of the exercises from those three books and separated them into 3 columns: Heal Thyself, Know Thyself, and Surrender Thyself. I think the first two are pretty self explanatory. The last one lists exercises that help me to get over my ego and all of that and be able to submit to God and His work. 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sapientia View Post

To further my study of mystical things...well...I have read so many books-studied so many branches of christianity/religion and western occultism that it's like I'm finally letting all of the knowledge settle-I tend to try to pray, meditate and work at faith and patience. That's just me, though!

I mean, I still do tarot, I read books that come along, pray, read the Bible-but really the 'work' I am doing is with peace with what I believe and how it does/doesn't fit in with typical religion. Hope that helps...there are so many different places to be on this journey I think!


This is me as well. Especially the part with studying up so much and the knowledge finally sinking in in a way that moves it from being book smarts to more of an understanding and a practice. I really do think that the important thing is to commune with Divinity and study and turn within. 

 

 


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For me I am so interested in all of this, but feeling I need to take it slowly, really just meditate on everything, step by step. I still deal with a little fear because of my faith tradition, so I always want to pursue peace and not get ahead of it. I don't think opening myself up to anything and everything if it causes fear is healthy. If that makes sense.

 

I am starting with reading all Apocryphal books and Gnostic gospels, some of the books are nothing new for those who have a Catholic or Orthodox path, but such a huge step for me. I was blown away doing some quick research yesterday that there are DOZENS of texts out there, I knew there was a few.

 

I realized I will constantly for the rest of the my life study the gospels, in light of the current revelations God is giving me. The biggest for me currently is looking at the gospels in terms that the gospel is about the Kingdom of God, not so much sin and hell.

 

Also, I am looking at Jesus says NOT in light of what the rest of the canon of scripture says. There are so many things Jesus said that we say, "yeah but He meant X because it tells us X elsewhere in scripture'. Um no, I do not accept the infallibility of Paul's writings any more, inspired sure, but if Jesus said something else...I am going with that. For example, in Matthew 7:1-6 Jesus tells us clearly to judge not. End of story. But everyone says, "but Paul says to basically judge those in the body". Or to rebuke others, etc. But Jesus never gave that exception or example, the only time He rebuked others were the religious hypocrites. Or my personal "favorite" Matthew 5:38-48, where basically most Christians explain away Christ's command of non-violence, overcoming evil with good. Hence you have Christianity not being a light to the world because of our hypocrisy in this area. Or where Jesus never talks about homosexuality, despite it being as common in Rome as it is today, or ever saying women need to fall in line behind men in an authority structure, etc. I am no longer a Christian in what we have made it to be, putting Paul's teachings on the same footing as Jesus Christs. I am simply a Christ follower.

 

So that will take my whole lifetime to meditate on and practice, even if I never have time to get into anything else mystical haha.

 

And looking at the spiritual realm in a new light, not trying to explain everything like I used to. I shared in the Christian Empath thread that since neat ideas about heaven/hell...you die then go straight to either...have totally crumbled, I realize how many layers there are to the spiritual realm. I used to think we only dealt with demons and angels, but now I know departed human souls wander the earth as well as living human souls who astroproject. My friend's (who leads our home church) 6 yr old daughter saw 2 men in chains in their living room a few months ago. My friend freaked out a little (even though they believe we have power to cast out demons in the name of Jesus, which I still believe) and asked for prayer since they assumed these were demons, but it was interesting because her daughter didn't seem disturbed at all. She just said, "Mom, I saw 2 men in chains leave our living room early this morning". I just realized last night, these were probably simply departed human souls that didn't intend any harm. In fact, they left when she entered the room. So that's probably why she was at ease. She still has child like faith and hasn't been taught to fear the spiritual realm, which I think is huge for all of us...especially when our experiences don't fit into our theology. I know I am filled with the Holy Spirit and don't have to fear. Also, I wonder if it is precisely because presence of God dwells in my friend's home that these spirits were drawn to the house?? I don't think I can share these things with my friend.

 

So yeah, just seeking Jesus..and slowly opening my mind to the fullness of God and the spiritual realm. I want to read the Shack soon. Has anyone else read it? DH read it months ago and loved it, as you may know it identifies as a woman...so I feel this will help in my relating to Her. I am just taking the step in personal prayer to address God in feminine terms when I feel led.


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And I will be praying for you and your mother as well, Panserbjorne.


Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#77 of 199 Old 03-31-2011, 04:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nicolelynn View Post

And I will be praying for you and your mother as well, Panserbjorne.



thank you.  Not sure what happened exactly, but there was a shift last night.  I was graced with peace.  I did spend a long time in prayer, but I have a feeling that it was prayers from others that actually helped to create the shift.  I feel more confident and capable.  Yesterday was a very dark day, and though there was that beautiful gift of finding the remedy that I know for a fact wasn't there, I couldn't appreciate it.  I can now.  I feel so blessed.

 

can't recall if I wrote this earlier here, but my father's response to my unraveling was that everything is fine, that God prepared us for where we are, that I went to school for exactly this reason-to help my mother.  Yesterday that felt like way too much pressure and spun me out further.  Today, I am willing to look at that a bit more.  I don't want to be the practitioner on the case, but the reality is there are two others in my office who are more than willing to be (and one of them already sees my mother regularly.)  I can sit and run interference on the case while having support that welcomes my input.  Really, it is perfect.  The other doctor is also more than willing to run the case with me if my head gets foggy, so really...we're in decent shape. 

 

In my practice the remedies/herbs etc. function as prayers.  It is through them that I minister to people which works well as they're the language I speak.  Before each session I pray and ask for alignment so that everything I do is for the individual's highest good and that I may be divinely inspired.  This has served me well, and it's what I'll be drawing on in the weeks to come.

 

Nicolelynn-loved your previous post and I can relate.  I identify as a Christian meaning that I'm a follower of Christ.  I do have trouble with the way that's morphed a bit, IMO.  I follow the teachings of Christ, not necessarily of the church, if that makes sense.  His words resonate with me completely so that's where my focus is.

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#78 of 199 Old 03-31-2011, 07:34 PM
 
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Ladies (and gents?) your words are so wise and help to strengthen me, thank you all.  I actually bought a copy of the writings of mary magdalen (sp) and loved the intro of all things.  I have been so afraid of some of these things that just knowing others are searching has given me courage and reinforced the knowledge of God's Grace.  I also bought a rune set, they're hand made and I haven't even done anything to them but they were just so...real.  The wood is warm and I love to touch them.  Crazy I know.  I wanted to share an experiance or two I've had.  Since my moms illness and as her body worsens, I am learning so much about my heritage and female line that empowers me. 

Here's one thing:

My grandmother died when my mom was 17.  She had been terminal for 5 years and my family took care of her at home even when she was completely paralyzed.  My mother often metions my 'mum mum' (grandmother) but I knew she wasn't talking about my actual grandmother.  I started asking questions and began learning about these 2 women, my great grandmother and grandmother.  I heard family stories that have never been spoken of, heard the good and bad.  Learned about these two women who couldn't fully be themselves in their male domintated worlds.  That same night I was in the kitchen, dh was at a meeting, I was cooking bacon and had ds in his high chair with me.  Suddenly ds turns to the window and starts shouting hello and holding his arms out.  We were on the second floor, and I knew no one was there.  I made a decision not to be terrified (as I've been taught) and right then the smell of lilacs took over the kitchen.  It was sickeningly strong, completely covered the smell of bacon, it lasted for a good 30 seconds and then was gone.  I immediately called my mom and asked who wore lilac perfume (I just knew she'd know), she asked why I was all woo-woo (she knew somethiing was up).  She eventually told me that her grandmother wore lilac and that her mother kept her mom's last bottle of lilac perfume on her nightstand until she died.  I know she was visiting me.  There was no fear, only warmth and once I let her know that I knew she was there, she left. 

 

There have been quite a few things and alot of synchronicity these last couple years. 

 

 

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#79 of 199 Old 04-02-2011, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, beautiful Faithsstuff!

 

I've had this song on my heart for a couple days, since sharing our hearts in this thread and for another friend IRL going through dark times.

 

My brother covers it and I wish I had a recording of him, because it's that much more personal (my brother is one of the most genuinely kind people I know, AND has an amazing Chris Carraba like voice). But it still makes me cry every time. I remember my husband and brother's band playing it once when a friend was present that had just literally got kicked out of church. We all just came to Jesus that night with our brokenness. I don't know, my heart is just welling up with Christ's desire to draw all into fellowship with Him, and to no longer push people away with theology and dogma.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzNSaxZqw24

 

Lyrics:

 

Come all you weary with your heavy loads
Lay down your burdens find rest for your souls
Cause my yoke is easy and my burden is kind
I’ll take yours upon me and you can take mine

Come all you weary move through the earth
You've been spurned at fine restaurants and kicked out of church
Got a couple of loaves sit down at my feet
Lend me your ears and we'll break bread and eat

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Come all you weary, you cripples you lame
I’ll help you along you can lay down your canes
We’ve got a long way to go but we’ll travel as friends
The lights growing bright further on further in

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Rest for your souls

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Rest for your souls [x3]


Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#80 of 199 Old 04-04-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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Nicole- that song is gorgeous.  I've been thinking about what it means to me personally to be a Christian.  I've been thinking about love and following a god who is love.  Now I was definately raised in the tradition of 'love the sin not the sinner'. To me this saying has always been very close to judging others and b/c I'm not God, I don't have to (thankfully) be involved in the judgement aspect.  That changes things a bit in my mind.  I think that we as Christians have the God-given privilege and right to love.  Despite 'sinfulness, irregardless of labels.  Jesus loved those that he shouldn't have.  I get to do so as well.  Loving b/c you've been commanded to do so, loving as a forced excercise is not the same as loving b/c you get to do so. I have the freedom to love others without shame but with joy.  I know this is fragmented, but that's what I've been thinking of for a couple days.

 

 

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#81 of 199 Old 04-04-2011, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Exactly, I am finally coming to terms with this. Even a month ago I didn't know about homosexuality, etc. This is where I focus on the teachings of Jesus, which say to not judge...and Paul...whom everyone quotes that we are to judge sin in other believers. I follow Jesus now. not necessarily Paul.


Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#82 of 199 Old 04-04-2011, 08:50 PM
 
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Honestly Nicole when we had lunch and you said you had only really been thinking about this for 3 weeks or so I was totally floored. You have such this warmth to you that I just can't wrap my mind around you ever being overly judgmental or closed to another person. I think you may have come such a long way in a short time. It's really amazing!


Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#83 of 199 Old 04-04-2011, 09:08 PM
 
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The idea of freely and truly loving challenges most of us.  Just about anyone with a label - homosexual, homeless, diseased- whatever.  I don't know that this applies to the thread though.  Has anyone read the poet Hafiz? I think that would qualify as mystical love.

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#84 of 199 Old 04-05-2011, 02:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Aww shucks, thanks, Maggie! I've never been judgemental outwardly, I've always got along with EVERYONE haha...I just thought God would judge homosexuals, sinners etc and that was just the biblical truth. But I had been questioning all the biblical texts on the matter for the past several years...and just reached my "aha" moment a few weeks ago =).

 

I think I have always been more comfortable than most Christians to question and be accepting, since my Mom especially taught us to really read and study and think for ourselves. She was quite conservative growing up, but over the past few years has slowly become mystic (though my Dad is still really conservative).

 

Faithsstuff, I personally do think the issue of loving and accepting all people and not judging really relates to this thread. For all of us who have come out of rigid doctrine, most were advised to "call out sin" in other peoples lives. And as you said, it is very hard for most people. For me it is very much part of my mystic journey to not have to reconcile all those biblical texts and what I still might have an inclination to think is wrong, and just to love purely and simply.


Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#85 of 199 Old 04-06-2011, 09:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh man, I have another song to share, it's by mewithoutyou. Hope it's not overkill sharing songs, especially if they do not fit your taste in music haha. I was raised in a musical (worship mostly) family, and have always loved music of all types (except country, sorry if anyone likes it hehe). Now that I don't feel the need for music to be "Christian" I can embrace all music and art as spiritual, since it is created from the mystical side of us. So all that to say, this is very much part of my journey.

 

This has been my favorite band for the past 3 years. They are Christian in the mystical sense before I really even understood what that was, their lyrics are deep and full of myth and story-telling. Their parents are Sufi (one who was Episcopalian and one who was Jewish and they both converted), and they have Sufi prayers in some of their lyrics and worship God as Allah in other parts. They also live like hippies in the Kingdom of God (living in community, driving veggie-oil buses and dumpster diving, not ascribing to doctrine). Been pretty controversial in evangelical circles, since they are on a "Christian" label, but I feel they are symbolic of the spiritual path my generation is taking, because what they are saying/doing is resonating with so many to us and speaking to us in places we didn't know existed within us.

 

This song, even though I have listened to it 1,000 times, never ceases to send chills through me every time (as do many of their songs). Now I realize that is the mystic, something I can't put into words but overwhelms me with joy.

 

Hope it speaks to you in some way as well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTcrWUU-EeA

 

Here is an interview from a few years ago with the lead singer, if anyone is interested in further reading: http://www.bustedhalo.com/features/busted-me-without-you/


Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#86 of 199 Old 04-06-2011, 10:44 AM
 
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I always like youtube videos, so share if moved to nicole.

Life has been tough the past few days, and God feels far from me lately. Glad to have your support and this great thread ladies!

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#87 of 199 Old 04-06-2011, 12:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebirdmama1 View Post

Life has been tough the past few days, and God feels far from me lately. Glad to have your support and this great thread ladies!
 


sending love.

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#88 of 199 Old 04-06-2011, 01:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, sending love as well. And the thought that mysticism isn't always about feeling God or having experiences. Those times are joyus and refreshing to the soul, but mysticism goes back to the beginning of time and into eternity, when somehow we remember God even when times are hard, we don't feel Him, and we can't explain any of this. Not to preach at you, hopefully to encourage you.


Happily married to DH for 6 years, in process to foster-adopt 3 children DD4, DS3 and DS2. We may be bringing half brother age 9 one day as well! We are not infertile, we just have decided that since there are precious children who need homes there is no need for us to have biological children.

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#89 of 199 Old 04-06-2011, 01:49 PM
 
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I've also found (and I don't know if this will resonate) that when I don't feel God's presence, it's not because he's not there.  It's because I'm not in a place to feel his presence.  When I get overwhelmed I turn inward.  I may get sad, and depressed and feel that disconnect, but ultimately it's always me that's responsible.  When I'm ready to feel God again, I do...immediately.  I'm able to see at this point that for me, I'm never alone.  So even when I don't feel connected, I am.  That brings me comfort even in dark places.

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#90 of 199 Old 04-06-2011, 04:02 PM
 
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that song is incredible.  went out as a facebook link, thank you for sharing!

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