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Old 09-27-2011, 03:12 PM
 
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Clay-  Love the pronunciation of Tiel!  As for the daycare- I'm very picky and would not feeling comfortable about the place after all of that.  Especially letting a 6 yr old go without a shirt in public. Not cool.  I'd be wanting to pull the girls, too.
 

 

Cortinacolorado-  Welcome!  Wishing you the best with the IUI!

 

 

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Hello, all, I'm brand new to this group (as I'm sure you realize) and wanted to say hello. I'm not a mama yet, but my DP and I are about to do our first IUI next cycle using frozen sperm from a WTBK donor.


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Old 09-27-2011, 05:52 PM
 
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Welcome CortinaColorado!  Pleased to meet you!  :)

 

Aubergine- great minds think alike LOL... that's exactly what I did this afternoon.  I contacted the school director and board, phrasing things in a way that I felt emphasized what I felt were "shared concerns" along with possible solutions that would be easy for the school to put in place.  I actually got a call back from the director a few hours later with both an apology and an offer to extend the trial period (to the 14th) so we could see how they implemented my suggestions.  So I'm hopeful.  The girls really enjoy it and it has the potential to be "perfect" in terms of what we need.  We'll see how it goes!

 

topless- we're a clothing casual household, and I have no problem with people being topless/nude in public (NY law allows women to be topless in public for non-sexual purposes actually).  I have certainly stripped the kids down to splash in the lake or whatnot.  What bothers me is that the school staff made a decision for a minor child that opened that child up to predation/violation.  When dh or I let the kiddos take their clothes off, we keep an eye on the setting/people around us.  And if something changes or feels off, the clothes go back on and/or we leave.  So while I'm upset about the semi-nudity it's not the nudity that is the problem per se, it's the school overstepping their authority in terms of protecting my child while she is in their care.

 

Anyway, fingers crossed that things improve from here... I'm really impressed that the director called, and was so apologetic/ready to work towards a solution.  It's an old established state registered/certified school (which is why these lapses surprise me so much) but the afterschool program is new and they're still finding out what works and what doesn't.

 

dinner- dh made an amazing enchilada pie.  mmmmmmmmmm.... autumnal goodness!  Sort of like a lasagna but with corn tortilla instead of noodle and layers of cornmeal, smoky chili peppers, black beans, corn, tomato sauce, and olives.  Baked up in a cast iron skillet.  DH is pulling out all the stops this week I think!


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Old 09-28-2011, 05:19 AM
 
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Clay, that does sound promising! I'm okay with little girls being semi-nude myself, but perhaps not like how they had done it so casually. I hope it works out! You need some time with precious Tiel!

 

We're swimming along with DH being a stay at home dad, taking a class, and me working 3 jobs. I'm hoping that I can get that down to two for the spring. I'd rather teach than tutor online for so many reasons, not least of which, the pay would be better.

 

DD is in a waldkindergarten for two days a week, but in her regular daycare for two other days. We want her in school 1. so DH can focus on all the other stuff he needs to get done, and 2. so DD can be social and learn some things. She's amazingly social, which is funny as we're aren't nearly so much. But we hate her daycare, and she's not having as much fun, and certainly not learning anything (her teacher says she does the town preschool curriculum, but that's a lie so far). So Dh is going to check out another program today that seems more structured in some ways. We're just not homeschooling types, yk?

 

 

 

 


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Old 09-28-2011, 08:19 AM
 
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Been MIA...

 

Monday, I was driving to the city for our dog's vet appointment when pain strucked... kidney stone... AGAIN!

 

I managed to drive the 45 minutes to the city despite the pain, DS had called DH to ask him to meet us at the vet... He dropped me at the ER and took care of the dog and kids.

 

Once I was seen in triage, it went very fast and I was on a bed with a dose of morphine. Once i saw the doctor, I went for a scan - she would have prefered a U/S but the department was already closed for the day. I was transfered to another hospital yesterday morning for a consult with a specialist...   In just a few minutes, he had made calls fro me to get pre-op testing and to reserve a spot in the OR.  I left the hospital around 7pm...

 

I'm home with medication and a tube going from my kidney to my bladder. The stone was crushed with a laser. I'll have a follow up in 15 days. Hopefully everything will be clear and I won't have to go for a lithotripsy (destruction of the stone by ultrasound).

 

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Old 09-28-2011, 08:34 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post

Clay - No sign - in sheet?  Late teachers? Different person every day? Topless little girls? Seriously?  Not cool.  If something, anything, happens, that program will get sued....is there no licensing that spells out the regulations for this sort of program?  I'm surprised that they don't expect the children to bring a change of clothes in a ziplock bag in case they get wet - here that is standard.

 

If the girls like the program and it otherwise works for you, I'd take the concerns to the board of directors or head of the program and say that you would like to extend your probationary period because you want to give them a chance to fix the issues (so, till the end of October and you can pull the girls then if you wish). If they won't work with you, I'd assume they won't take other concerns seriously and pull the girls.  



I noticed I'm late but great idea for them to extend the probationary period. I wouldn't feel comfortable with what you described (and like you, our home is a very clothing casual place). We take DD to the clothing optional beach and don't mind, but again, we are in control of what is going on.

 



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Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post

Clay, that does sound promising! I'm okay with little girls being semi-nude myself, but perhaps not like how they had done it so casually. I hope it works out! You need some time with precious Tiel!

 

We're swimming along with DH being a stay at home dad, taking a class, and me working 3 jobs. I'm hoping that I can get that down to two for the spring. I'd rather teach than tutor online for so many reasons, not least of which, the pay would be better.

 

DD is in a waldkindergarten for two days a week, but in her regular daycare for two other days. We want her in school 1. so DH can focus on all the other stuff he needs to get done, and 2. so DD can be social and learn some things. She's amazingly social, which is funny as we're aren't nearly so much. But we hate her daycare, and she's not having as much fun, and certainly not learning anything (her teacher says she does the town preschool curriculum, but that's a lie so far). So Dh is going to check out another program today that seems more structured in some ways. We're just not homeschooling types, yk?

 

 

 

 


I hope you find a program that meets your needs!

 

DD has been a handful lately. Probably not much she can do to help it though - most of it is due to her "special needs". She doesn't do many things independently because she doesn't have the muscle strength or the fine motor skills. I have to keep working with her to get it done. Lots of hand over hand work. Lots of trying to convince her. This morning it was all "no! i don't like that! no no no no no no no!" Followed by crying. She seems to hate everything. Getting dressed, brushing her hair, she wouldn't even eat or drink this morning. Yet, she wants to go to the library...lol I am getting worn out quickly these days with her constant protesting. I do get up before she does and probably need to take time to ground and centre myself before seeing her.
 

 


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Old 09-28-2011, 09:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

Been MIA...

 

Monday, I was driving to the city for our dog's vet appointment when pain strucked... kidney stone... AGAIN!

 

I managed to drive the 45 minutes to the city despite the pain, DS had called DH to ask him to meet us at the vet... He dropped me at the ER and took care of the dog and kids.

 

Once I was seen in triage, it went very fast and I was on a bed with a dose of morphine. Once i saw the doctor, I went for a scan - she would have prefered a U/S but the department was already closed for the day. I was transfered to another hospital yesterday morning for a consult with a specialist...   In just a few minutes, he had made calls fro me to get pre-op testing and to reserve a spot in the OR.  I left the hospital around 7pm...

 

I'm home with medication and a tube going from my kidney to my bladder. The stone was crushed with a laser. I'll have a follow up in 15 days. Hopefully everything will be clear and I won't have to go for a lithotripsy (destruction of the stone by ultrasound).

 

My plans of dancing for rain won't happen... Hope the rain come anyway!


Val - I'm glad to hear you got some relief with that kidney stone finally!!  And it sounds like you were hustled through the system, so yay!!  I hope you are snug on the couch with a nice warm cupa of tea and you'll get to dance in the rain sooner than later.

 

We're getting pummeled with rain, so no rain-dances here, just a quick hope that the system will pass and move onto ya'll who are in need of it more than me! :)  All my squash/pumpkins are getting powdery mildew because of the moisture and I need to go back out to my garden & cut down the affected leaves again already. 

 

Hugs to everyone and Clay I'm glad the director was responsive your concerns.  I was in the same thought as Maia about the situation, but it seems to be working itself out. Yay!

 

Hugs & Huzzah to all  Work is a whirlwind -so I am in lurker mode mostly.  


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Old 09-28-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

I'm home with medication and a tube going from my kidney to my bladder. The stone was crushed with a laser. I'll have a follow up in 15 days. Hopefully everything will be clear and I won't have to go for a lithotripsy (destruction of the stone by ultrasound).

 



Oh wow, that sounds painful!  Hope the recovery goes without incident.  Hugs to you!


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Old 09-28-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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There is no sick leave in mothering... Even though I'm barely recovering, I'm on Mommy duty with a sick daughter... :-(


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Old 09-28-2011, 12:42 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclay View PostI actually got a call back from the director a few hours later with both an apology and an offer to extend the trial period (to the 14th) so we could see how they implemented my suggestions.  So I'm hopeful.  The girls really enjoy it and it has the potential to be "perfect" in terms of what we need.  We'll see how it goes!

 

I'm really impressed that the director called, and was so apologetic/ready to work towards a solution.

 

Oh, Clay, this sounds promising! Yay! And yum, that enchilada pie sounds to die for. I so miss beans greensad.gif I am getting used to not having them. Right now it's a wistful "I remember those" sort of miss, but I used to make the killer veggie chili. Dang.



Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View PostSo Dh is going to check out another program today that seems more structured in some ways. We're just not homeschooling types, yk?

 

I'm not anymore, either. DS is WAY, way too much of a defiant, high-need kid for me to even entertain the idea of keeping him home anymore. Um, nope. I'm a very solitary, keep-to-myself sort that loves my own company and silence, so, yep, school. For the foreseeable future.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View PostMonday, I was driving to the city for our dog's vet appointment when pain strucked... kidney stone... AGAIN!
 


Oh, OW. I hope you're going to be alright! I have heard that those are the most painful thing, more than childbirth even, but since I didn't birth vaginally, I have nothing to compare with. Be well, mama.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by singin_angel View PostShe seems to hate everything. Getting dressed, brushing her hair, she wouldn't even eat or drink this morning. Yet, she wants to go to the library...lol I am getting worn out quickly these days with her constant protesting. I do get up before she does and probably need to take time to ground and centre myself before seeing her. 

 


How old is she? My gods, that sounds like my 10yo ds. Every freaking day.

 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

There is no sick leave in mothering... Even though I'm barely recovering, I'm on Mommy duty with a sick daughter... :-(


Aww. I hope both of you feel better soon.

 

DS had his therapy appt today. It went well. We formulated some strategies to help ds at school, at home, I said he needed a med reeval and she's going to talk to his dr. before the appt on Monday, we're going to get on his teachers because they're apparently not implementing the tools we proposed at the last meeting, and she really hammered on ds that it's his responsibility to avail himself of these tools and help and that he can NOT act helpless. She looked right at him and said YEAH, it sucks, but you are going to have to deal with it and take responsibility, and avail yourself of all this help that everybody's trying to offer you. So, cross fingers.

 


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Old 09-28-2011, 01:11 PM
 
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Maia: what a sticky situation with M/C.  Sounds like a lot of manipulation to me.  bah!  Sorry that you have to deal with this.  On the other hand...I am really impressed with your son's therapist being so upfront with your son.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that maybe her saying that will help it sink in a little!

 

Clay: great news on the school front.  It is very promising that your concerns were addressed so quickly.  I agree with witchy, you need your time with Tiel so hopefully this will all work out and things will move forward!! 

 

Singin: does your daughter meet with an occupational or physical therapist at all?  How is the new wee one?  I'm sure balancing him and the constant protests from DD has got to wear on you at times.  sending you cleansing breaths of calm!!

 

Valerie:  Gosh, you've been through the ringer this past week!!  I hope everyone in your family is feeling better soooooon!!  

 

Hope everyone is having a good week.  I've been trying to get out in the sunshine and nice weather during the moments it's here and still haven't done any fall decorating although the ideas are piling up as I walk through my neighborhood and see everyone's festive pumpkins and mums and harvest-y paraphernalia in their yards and on their porches.  I'm loving our 70 degree weather.  Spring and fall are so heavenly!! 


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Old 09-28-2011, 03:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

 

 

I'm home with medication and a tube going from my kidney to my bladder. The stone was crushed with a laser. I'll have a follow up in 15 days. Hopefully everything will be clear and I won't have to go for a lithotripsy (destruction of the stone by ultrasound).

 

My plans of dancing for rain won't happen... Hope the rain come anyway!



Hope you feel better and don't need anything further. Hope your daughter feels better too so you can actually rest!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

How old is she? My gods, that sounds like my 10yo ds. Every freaking day.

 

 



 

She is 4. She has speech delays so I feel like she can't always express what she wants or understand our true meanings at times. If I say she can't have/do something, she freaks saying "I like it!" or if I put something away that she wants she will cry/whine "I lost it" I tried to give her honey yesterday to help her throat feel better...she wouldn't take it. I managed to get a little bit in and she forced herself to cough so hard she makes herself gag. It looks like she will be sick all over the place. Not a good thing since she often won't eat or well (she is 27lbs and 4 years old). Her one true love is tv (which I won't let her watch). I might let her see 30 mins a week. She also likes to read, which I appreciate.



Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post

 

 

Singin: does your daughter meet with an occupational or physical therapist at all?  How is the new wee one?  I'm sure balancing him and the constant protests from DD has got to wear on you at times.  sending you cleansing breaths of calm!!

 

 

Hope everyone is having a good week.  I've been trying to get out in the sunshine and nice weather during the moments it's here and still haven't done any fall decorating although the ideas are piling up as I walk through my neighborhood and see everyone's festive pumpkins and mums and harvest-y paraphernalia in their yards and on their porches.  I'm loving our 70 degree weather.  Spring and fall are so heavenly!! 


She had a physiotherapist and we have been discharged from them. We also saw an early interventionist, still have a speech language pathologist, had an orthotist (she wore braces called AFOs).

 

Getting her in the car was like this: I want to go to "bibliotheque". Help me. Lift me. Help me. (she starts to climb in on her own as I put DS in his seat) Mommy. Mommy!!! (she puts her book in the car seat). Oh no! The book is on the seat! She climbs on top of the book (and due to the hyperflexibility - aka hypotonia she is all twisted). I'm stuck!!! My foot is stuck!!! Starts crying. Doesn't even try to move. All this within 30 seconds to a minute. Of course I am talking to her the whole time and still have to tie her in (one small benefit is she can't undo herself while we are driving). Then we get to school and I have to walk her through every.single.step. of what she needs to do. Take shoes out of her locker, take off her current shoes (which she needs help, hand over hand). Put outdoor shoes in her locker. Put on her indoor shoes (even with velcro, this is a fine motor skill she doesn't have). Open her backpack (this takes time because zippers are a fine motor skill). Take out her lunch bag and her agenda. Put them in the bins where they belong (they go on this cart and the teacher wheels them all inside the classroom). She can't reach the short hooks they put in the kindy lockers so I have to hang up her coat and backpack.

 

I'm just exhausted. I have taken her to about a million specialists, including agreeing to a genetic test for a syndrome called CHARGE. I have worked with her through physio homework, speech homework, etc just trying to get her to be able to do things. I put her in preschool because she wouldn't socialize with the kids (still didn't work) and even now she won't talk to the kids at school. She likes school...with the exception of recess because she has latched onto her teacher. These days I have less patience. Thankfully DS is generally pretty easy. Of course, DD likes to ask for a million things and gets upset if I am nursing him and she wants a drink, help to go to the bathroom (she is too short, even with a stool to get up there), me to get some toy from her shelf, or whatever it is. It has honestly been nice having her in school because I feel like I can breathe and DS can have some focused attention (granted he still likes to nurse and sleep, with some quiet alert periods.

 

DD likes to squash DS's face or poke him to wake him up - he doesn't like that. She doesn't get it. Considering setting up the crib ONLY for DS to have a safe place for me to put him down away from his sister (we co-sleep in our bed and DD can climb up, so that doesn't work). Or she likes to poke him or try to jump on him while he is nursing, even if I am actually reading her a story.

 

Today I tried to get her to sleep. She whined that she was thirsty and then hungry (but of course didn't eat because she wanted food we don't have - cheerios). "I'm really really hungry" - If I was really really hungry, I would probably just eat whatever was there.

 

Anyways, long rant to say, I am considering an OT at the moment and talked to the pediatrician who agrees.
 

 


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Old 09-28-2011, 03:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View PostMaia: what a sticky situation with M/C.  Sounds like a lot of manipulation to me.  bah!  Sorry that you have to deal with this.  On the other hand...I am really impressed with your son's therapist being so upfront with your son.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that maybe her saying that will help it sink in a little!

 

and still haven't done any fall decorating although the ideas are piling up as I walk through my neighborhood and see everyone's festive pumpkins and mums and harvest-y paraphernalia in their yards and on their porches.



Thank you. Yes, it's sticky and so righteously annoying! Since I've been through-- remember, I'm 17 years clean'n'sober, so I've seen most of this from both sides of the fence. And I've caused it, too. So it's really frustrating to watch someone else not see the forest for the trees.

C did find a Salvation Army bed last night, so M did not have to have him over at all. Even M said he thought his higher power was working in his favor so that M didn't have to say no, even though he wanted to but just would not.

 

Yes, I'm glad the therapist was that in-yo'-face, too. She doesn't take any duff, that's for sure.

 

Fall decorating-- I haven't done ANY holiday decorating since the house is on the market. I'm assuming holiday decorating would come under "personal items". I can't WAIT to be in an apartment and I can decorate again! I cut some goldenrod and other things from my yard and put them in one of those salad dressing shaker glass thingies (you know, that come with a packet and you mix with oil and water and vinegar) and put it on my stove back. I just couldn't stand not having something seasonal in here!

 

And YES, I second the thumbs-up for the cooler weather. I am so freaking glad to be rid of the relentless 90*.

 

Goodness, singin', you do sound beat. She sounds like my 10yo, though with different needs...mine, by this time, some of it is willful victimhood and/or defiance, some is ADHD, some is probable bipolar (though at this stage, we're just calling it a "mood problem"). I have to micro-manage him in the mornings and evenings when the meds haven't kicked in/have worn off. One task at a time, with me standing over him to make sure he does it. Sigh. I feel your pain, mama. Different situation, but I'm sure the feelings are remarkably similar.
 

 


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Old 09-28-2011, 07:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

Been MIA...

 

Monday, I was driving to the city for our dog's vet appointment when pain strucked... kidney stone... AGAIN!

 

I managed to drive the 45 minutes to the city despite the pain, DS had called DH to ask him to meet us at the vet... He dropped me at the ER and took care of the dog and kids.

 

Once I was seen in triage, it went very fast and I was on a bed with a dose of morphine. Once i saw the doctor, I went for a scan - she would have prefered a U/S but the department was already closed for the day. I was transfered to another hospital yesterday morning for a consult with a specialist...   In just a few minutes, he had made calls fro me to get pre-op testing and to reserve a spot in the OR.  I left the hospital around 7pm...

 

I'm home with medication and a tube going from my kidney to my bladder. The stone was crushed with a laser. I'll have a follow up in 15 days. Hopefully everything will be clear and I won't have to go for a lithotripsy (destruction of the stone by ultrasound).

 

My plans of dancing for rain won't happen... Hope the rain come anyway!



Oh no!  I hope you feel better. ((((hugs)))) mama.  really, I wish I was close by to help out.  I hope you feel better soon.


 


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Old 09-28-2011, 10:44 PM
 
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Cortina - Welcome to the group!  You'll like it here. :-)

 

Valerie - I'm glad it was caught in time, and you made it through relativily unscathed.

 

Clay - I'm not on the same page with the nudity thing, but those are your kids and the school should respect your boundaries.  I think asking for an extended probationary period would be a very good idea.  The revolving door guards and lack of sign-in would be a no-go for me, too.

 

I'm waiting on some paperwork related to our land, and the damn UPS office seems to be going out of their way not to let us have it!  We need to sign some papers and send them right back, but it's been four days and we still haven't been able to get our hands on them.  So frustrating!  It's been so long, I think we'll need to spend the extra to overnight them back to the land office.


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Old 09-29-2011, 11:21 AM
 
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Valerie- ouch!  I hope this is the final chapter of health woes and things improve swiftly.  And that you get some space to heal/relax.  ((hugs))

 

Maia- ask your agent... I bet seasonal flowers and/or veggies on display would be fine.  My hospital room had cable and I watched a lot of HGTV while nursing, including plenty of those "stage/sell my house" shows.  Jazzing up the landscaping with mums and adding bowls of seasonal fruit/veg to the tables seemed to be pretty common.  And ((hugs)) to you on the relationship front.  It's so hard to be able to see but not be able to save.  Sort of the cassandra/curse of the fey situation (where you see the future and/or see reality but no one believes you).  I hope a path o;pens for you all.

 

Singin- that sounds soooo hard.  I know for us things got better as dd2 was more able to communicate.  Ro still has speech/motor delays but it's gotten a lot better... of course, it usually doesn't feel like it when she is locked in a huge wailing feedback loop for hours at a time, but looking back it really has gotten better.  It sounds like your dd struggles a lot with communication, and given her fine motor delays she may not benefit much from sign language... has anyone suggested a "talking board" type device for her?  Some are just pictures/short phrases on a laminate page that a child can point at while others are kind of like a "speak n spell" where the child pushes a button and the machine "says" the sentence.  Maybe that would help?  And would the school consider adapting their space to her needs a bit more?  If she can't reach a hook or open a container perhaps a seperate space could be set up for her?  Letting her do more and giving you a bit of a rest?

 

I'm curious to see how the next week plays out with the school... they also have the option of asking us to leave and I wonder if they will?  Yesterday dd1 stepped on something sharp in the classroom (they wear socks inside) and not only did it cut her sock it cut her foot!  A small cut, but LOTS of blood.  So now they are asking us to send in hard soled slippers as well.  I wonder if they're asking everyone or just us?  LOL  I feel for the teacher though, I bet she was just /thrilled/ to realize that the injured child was one of the ones she'd already been talked to about.  Sort of a double whammy, you know?

 

Anyway, this is an afterschool program so the kiddos actually come from several of the local schools (not just the waldorf school that runs the program) and there is no "dedicated space" yet for children to leave things.  So according to an email this morning we need to send each child with a full change of clothes, complete rain gear and cold weather coat regardless of weather, indoor shoes, rain boots, water bottle, and snack (they provide a snack but cannot accomodate dd1's celiac disease so we have to pack a snack).  And then the kiddos need to bring all that home with them each day.  I noticed the email was just to us, not to the school mailing list, so I wonder.  I mean, some kiddos are being bused in from various schools or walking a 1/4 mile or so from their schools and that seems like a lot for a small kid to pack on top of whatever they need for their own school day.

 

Ah well... while it does seem perfect on one hand, not having to drive into town every day during the winter would be nice.  And even with both gilrs in the program I still have 2yo ds along with Tiel.  It's actually easier to keep ds amused when his big sibs are around (though they would NOT agree lol).  I guess I'll see how the next week plays out and dh and I can go from there.

 

:)


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Old 09-29-2011, 12:51 PM
 
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Clay - that sounds like a lot to bring. I'm also sorry to hear that DD got hurt! It sounds like they have a lot of details to work out still. Do they have something like a parent advisory committee that could help them get input on what support/services they need and what is realistic?

 

Yeah it is frustrated. I used the school example just because I had been there that morning. It is exactly the same at home. She can't reach door knobs and isn't strong enough to even hold a door open (it would actually just knock her over), so the level of support she needs can be a lot. I am working with her to have some independent skills. The school is very happy to accomodate her. When I pick her up, I meet them outside, so she already has her outdoor shoes one, coat (if needed) and her backpack has everything in it. Her communication, isn't ideal, but it isn't fantastic. Funny thing is, she can memorize stories easily, she actually has a big vocabulary, but I think it is the personal connection part that she is missing. I ask her a lot what did you do today or try to take the level of conversation a little deeper and that's where she gets lost. I think it is relational/emotional conversation (if that makes sense) where she has difficulties. But she has difficulties with her emotions and relationships (except adults, them she likes).

 

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Old 09-29-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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Singin:  I am exhausted just reading your post.  Hopefully an OT will help you work with the school and also find ways to make DDs world accessible to her.  Sounds frustrating for you and her.  I just want to hug you and her!  Please tell me that you get even 5 minutes during the day (or evening) to just sit and take a deep breath!  or even a quiet shower.  

 

Maia: I agree with Clay, Fall decorating wouldn't really be too personal would it?  It would make it feel "homey" I'd think.  Glad there was some "divine intervention" and C was able to get a bed...hopefully he'll find what he needs there.

 

Maxs:  Hope your UPS papers get there SOOON!  It's so hard to know something is so close but so... out of your reach and control!  

 

Clay: sounds like you have a good outlook on the program your children are in.  Outlook maybe isn't the word I want...but it sounds like whatever way it goes you'll just roll with it...but, of course, that seems to be how you function in general.  :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Old 09-29-2011, 03:45 PM
 
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She is 4. She has speech delays so I feel like she can't always express what she wants or understand our true meanings at times. If I say she can't have/do something, she freaks saying "I like it!" or if I put something away that she wants she will cry/whine "I lost it" I tried to give her honey yesterday to help her throat feel better...she wouldn't take it. I managed to get a little bit in and she forced herself to cough so hard she makes herself gag. It looks like she will be sick all over the place. Not a good thing since she often won't eat or well (she is 27lbs and 4 years old). Her one true love is tv (which I won't let her watch). I might let her see 30 mins a week. She also likes to read, which I appreciate.


She had a physiotherapist and we have been discharged from them. We also saw an early interventionist, still have a speech language pathologist, had an orthotist (she wore braces called AFOs).

 

Getting her in the car was like this: I want to go to "bibliotheque". Help me. Lift me. Help me. (she starts to climb in on her own as I put DS in his seat) Mommy. Mommy!!! (she puts her book in the car seat). Oh no! The book is on the seat! She climbs on top of the book (and due to the hyperflexibility - aka hypotonia she is all twisted). I'm stuck!!! My foot is stuck!!! Starts crying. Doesn't even try to move. All this within 30 seconds to a minute. Of course I am talking to her the whole time and still have to tie her in (one small benefit is she can't undo herself while we are driving). Then we get to school and I have to walk her through every.single.step. of what she needs to do. Take shoes out of her locker, take off her current shoes (which she needs help, hand over hand). Put outdoor shoes in her locker. Put on her indoor shoes (even with velcro, this is a fine motor skill she doesn't have). Open her backpack (this takes time because zippers are a fine motor skill). Take out her lunch bag and her agenda. Put them in the bins where they belong (they go on this cart and the teacher wheels them all inside the classroom). She can't reach the short hooks they put in the kindy lockers so I have to hang up her coat and backpack.

 

I'm just exhausted. I have taken her to about a million specialists, including agreeing to a genetic test for a syndrome called CHARGE. I have worked with her through physio homework, speech homework, etc just trying to get her to be able to do things. I put her in preschool because she wouldn't socialize with the kids (still didn't work) and even now she won't talk to the kids at school. She likes school...with the exception of recess because she has latched onto her teacher. These days I have less patience. Thankfully DS is generally pretty easy. Of course, DD likes to ask for a million things and gets upset if I am nursing him and she wants a drink, help to go to the bathroom (she is too short, even with a stool to get up there), me to get some toy from her shelf, or whatever it is. It has honestly been nice having her in school because I feel like I can breathe and DS can have some focused attention (granted he still likes to nurse and sleep, with some quiet alert periods.

 

DD likes to squash DS's face or poke him to wake him up - he doesn't like that. She doesn't get it. Considering setting up the crib ONLY for DS to have a safe place for me to put him down away from his sister (we co-sleep in our bed and DD can climb up, so that doesn't work). Or she likes to poke him or try to jump on him while he is nursing, even if I am actually reading her a story.

 

Today I tried to get her to sleep. She whined that she was thirsty and then hungry (but of course didn't eat because she wanted food we don't have - cheerios). "I'm really really hungry" - If I was really really hungry, I would probably just eat whatever was there.

 

Anyways, long rant to say, I am considering an OT at the moment and talked to the pediatrician who agrees.
 

 



she sounds alot like she could have the classic form of Ehlers-Danlos. but i am just going on the hypotonia, hyperflexibility, delays, foot problems, etc. it might be something to ask about. does she bruise easily? does she have thin skin that you can see alot of veins through? my 4 year old is only 34 lbs and that is only bc i changed her diet. she pokes her sister all the time, wont cooperate with anything, and doesnt really talk to kids in school.

 


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Old 09-29-2011, 07:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View PostMaia: I agree with Clay, Fall decorating wouldn't really be too personal would it?  It would make it feel "homey" I'd think.  Glad there was some "divine intervention" and C was able to get a bed...hopefully he'll find what he needs there.

 


I will ask. But it's not supposed to look homey-- or, at least, not MY homey. The people are supposed to be able to imagine their things in here, and them living here, and my idea of what's homey or pretty might not be someone else's version. It could even turn them off. Which is why it's supposed to be clean, but rather sterile greensad.gif But I hope you are both right. I need some autumny things in here!

 

M told me his dd was trying to call him tonight, several times, but he knew what she wanted (a bed for C) and wouldn't answer the phone. He said he felt bad not answering and he really ought to talk to her-- I said "you know, you could just say no". As in, be the dad, man up, grow a backbone and stop letting that girl run all over you. He's a freaking doormat with her. I keep my mouth shut for the most part, but it's going to cause problems down the line, I can see that now, because no way am I going to put up with it-- but, OTOH, she doesn't yet acknowledge me, really. I've met her once. In July of this year. After being reunited with M (at the time) for what, a year and 9 months? shake.gif He still keeps us separate. Argh.


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Old 09-30-2011, 09:49 AM
 
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Rain!!!!!!!

 

and slowly improving.


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Old 09-30-2011, 11:20 AM
 
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Rain!!!!!!!

 

and slowly improving.



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Old 09-30-2011, 11:31 AM
 
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Did anyone see Amy Brenneman on the Talk yesterday? She talked about celebrating the solstices and her "Girl Tribe" and described herself as "Witchy" It was pretty cool.  For her to be so open was amazing:)

 

So how is everyone doing?  I am so Happy today is Friday.  Hope everyone has a great weekend.


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Old 09-30-2011, 02:02 PM
 
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Afternoon Dears! I just started some fall decorating, my goal is to do it tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, I am entering a pumpkin pie contest, mine is a pecan, caramel and pumpkin pie. Sounds good, right? I need to clean the kitchen and then I can begin baking.

 

I am a bit behind. Sending love to all!


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Old 09-30-2011, 06:49 PM
 
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I'm making apple fritters tonight with apples from my own tree. And I wanted to share this with some of you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAGMATHlSK4
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Old 09-30-2011, 10:24 PM
 
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Ms. Maiasaura:  This is why I will never be a realtor -- I get that the prospective buyer is supposed to imagine the space as their own but how is a scarecrow here, a leaf wreath there making it "YOURS"  --- blah.  (maybe it's just the northeast, everyone freaking decorates for fall here!!)  The lady I bought our house from had soup on the stove and her kids hanging out in the basement the first time we came to see the house so what the hell do I know about these rules!! 

 

Interesting about M and his daughter.  I suppose not answering is some kind of stand.  I know you likely want him to speak his mind and be honest about the situation but he didn't answer and say "okay, C can stay here" -  baby steps?  How did he introduce you when you met her?  Where did you guys meet for this introduction?  I hope I'm not asking too many questions but I'm intrigued.  

 

Valerie!!! RAIN!!!  HOOO RAH!!!!!  


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Old 09-30-2011, 10:28 PM
 
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philomom and aeress: you are making me HUNGRY!!!  

 

and philomom, I like that song.  I'm a sucker for the fiddle!!  *rock me goddess in the gentle arms of eden*  - really catchy!!  

 

I did FINALLY get to a bit of fall decorating...leaf wreath on the door, pumpkins and star clings on the stair windows, our scarecrow *bill* keeping a lookout for the front door.  Next week I'm hoping to get the paints out with Z and get some pumpkin/leaf/apple garland going on in the dining room!  

 


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Old 10-01-2011, 04:17 PM
 
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Fly by Hiiiiiii!  There's a pagan podcast story on my website (free) for those who are interested.

 

I'm getting cramps again.  Already.  So, I guess it's a good thing my uterus is being taken out.  But, there's a part of me that is in panic because my biological clock (and heart) would love another baby.  Of course, my brain knows that is nonsensical thinking.  Still, it makes my heart sad.


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Old 10-02-2011, 02:16 PM
 
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Hey there Pagan peeps!  It's OCTOBER!!!!

 

New thread started HERE.  :)


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Old 10-02-2011, 02:31 PM
 
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Ok, so I know it's October, but I've been reading the thread and thought I'd join in.  We were professional xians in the past (as in that's literally what paid the bills) and surrounded on all sides by xians and fundamentalists in the family.  The last few years have been a journey away from all of that as I struggled with identifying my path.

 

I was doing some research last year on Christmas/Yule/Solstice since my new BIL has some very non-mainstream xian/fundy views.  He's also quite wrong in his understanding of some of them, but it was a fascinating exercise since I found myself identifying with and drawn to paganism along the way.  Dorothy Morrison's "Yule" was my gateway.

 

If I'm honest with myself, I've been drawn to this path for a good long while (it's actually one of the things I always appreciated about MDC and the fairly active pagan community here), but since I'm still trying to unwrap myself, I've been hesitant to speak the words out loud.  It took me a couple of months to be able to work up the courage to broach the topic with dh.  I shouldn't have been so uncertain, dh was surprisingly on the same page and probably braver than I am.  Then again, one of his coworkers is Wiccan and I should have picked up on the shift in him when he was talking about the discussions he's had with his coworker.

 

The aforementioned BIL is pretty rabidly anti-pagan which puts us in a very awkward spot. While I can remain in the closet as it were with the family (we've been avoiding all discussion of god with them for years), I would like to find a locally community to connect with.  In the meantime, I was hoping this thread might be a good start...I hope that's ok.

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Old 10-02-2011, 02:58 PM
 
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Pampered Mom- I think your path will resonate with many of us on this thread. I am out in some ways, and not in others. My family knows some of my beliefs and has chosen to "ignore" others. I have found that my path is still winding, and growing wider in many ways and smaller in others. My journey away from Xtianity started many years ago, but I tried my hardest to tell myself that it was a matter of finding the right church, rather than a new belief. We were even regular attenders of a Free Methodist church for several yrs, our two girls were even baptized and then we just didn't feel comfortable there anymore and stopped attending. We were churchless for a long time. We now attend a UU church for its community and beliefs. I am a solitary practioner, which works for me. Dh calls himself a Universalist, he believes in God. I call myself earth centered at times, pagan at other times and sometimes I choose not to even define myself with a title. Being out in my church and close friends feels safe and right, but in the general society I tend to come off as a "hippie". Lol

 

Well, my rambling brain is out of steam, so I hope it gave you some insight into my path, which is just one example of the many paths that can be taken. Welcome to our circle! May you find comfort, light and love! In the past, we have discussed more serious subjects but as the circle has grown it can get a bit mucky trying to keep track of the more serious stuff among the more daily life stuff.


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