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#1 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's Autumn!  Or Spring for those "down under"!

 

We're entering that time of pulling in and reaching out, the swirling energies that call us to hearth and home while also drawing us towards fellowship and support.  Here's to a joyful harvest, healthy growth, and gentle discovery as we dance into this new season!

 

:)

 


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#2 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 01:33 PM
 
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I just posted in the other thread so I won't double post it here.  Just subscribing so I don't miss the new thread.

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#3 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 01:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maia- It's so hard!  Do ask though, because I think you could get away with "seasonal" that isn't "personal".  Though like others have said, it wasn't something I had to go through personally... when we bought the "downtown house" it was being used as an honest to gods "crack house" and there were literally dozens of people living there... there were people asleep on mattresses in the attic/basement, dirty diapers on the floor, doors nailed shut, and all sorts of ick.  And when we sold it the buyer stopped buy before the house was on the market... so total chaotic toddler + newborn life mess.  Actually, it was during dinner and she/the realtor just sort of wandered around while we ate!  And this cabin was stone cold empty when we bought it... no toilet, the kitchen sink hanging off the wall, no finished floors, no heat!  So I don't have a good "staged home" experience.

 

Have you checked out shows/books like Designed to Sell or TLC's staging show though?  I'm such a home network junkie!  LOL

 

reality- dh goes back to work (half days) tomorrow and I'm scared stiff.  Actually, it's not so much the home front that is getting me, but the thought of going out and about with all 4 kiddos.  Tiel isn't even 2 weeks old yet!  But dd1 and dd2 need to be dropped off/picked up from their afternoon program.  And I'm scared silly about getting ds into and out of the drop off process while holding dd3.  He is sooooo physical, and fast, and determined to be inolved... over the past week or two he has been a real handful, climbing out of shopping carts, running away on streets/in parks, throwing serious fall on the ground screaming fits, and often resisting his carseat with kicks/screams/self injury.  I'e dealt with it, but if Tiel is in my arms or in a sling... I'm lost.  I wont be able to physically restrain/protect both kiddos.  But I certainly can't leave ds and dd3 in their car seats in the car while I walk the kiddos into their programs or pick them up.  And what about shopping or just getting out?  ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

It's possible that the afterschool program will have to go even if all there is well, just because I can't manage ds.  :(  How sad a testimonial to my parenting is that?  DH and I are exploring ideas, but oy!  To have the family held hostage somewhat by a high needs 2yo is frustrating as heck.

 

weather- berautifully autumnal, lots of wind and rain and mist!  But it's chilly and I seem to be getting a cold.  Of course!  LOL  I'm sleep deprived, worn down, still dealing with lochia/nutritional drains, newborn breastfeeding, a shifting season, and my adult partner is about to be taken away... why wouldn't I be getting a cold?  ;)  Ah well, it'll heal.  I'm already taking C, E, Omega3s, Iron, Calcium/Magnesium, and Probiotics along with my regular vitamins.  And I'm taking bach flower blends, homeopathic remedies, and herbs too.  My immune system is as good as it can be...

 

 


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#4 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 02:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post

reality- dh goes back to work (half days) tomorrow and I'm scared stiff.  Actually, it's not so much the home front that is getting me, but the thought of going out and about with all 4 kiddos.  Tiel isn't even 2 weeks old yet!  But dd1 and dd2 need to be dropped off/picked up from their afternoon program.  And I'm scared silly about getting ds into and out of the drop off process while holding dd3.  He is sooooo physical, and fast, and determined to be inolved... over the past week or two he has been a real handful, climbing out of shopping carts, running away on streets/in parks, throwing serious fall on the ground screaming fits, and often resisting his carseat with kicks/screams/self injury.  I'e dealt with it, but if Tiel is in my arms or in a sling... I'm lost.  I wont be able to physically restrain/protect both kiddos.  But I certainly can't leave ds and dd3 in their car seats in the car while I walk the kiddos into their programs or pick them up.  And what about shopping or just getting out?  ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

It's possible that the afterschool program will have to go even if all there is well, just because I can't manage ds.  :(  How sad a testimonial to my parenting is that?  DH and I are exploring ideas, but oy!  To have the family held hostage somewhat by a high needs 2yo is frustrating as heck.


I can empathize, though I only have three.  It too me a long time until I was comfortable leaving the house with my children.  I would say that I only just started being comfortable this year and my youngest is not quite two!  I was overwhelmed at two, #3 was a surprise, and there won't be a #4.  If anyone can do it, I'm certain from what I've read over the years that you can.  Hang in there, I know with time things will get easier for you.  :0)

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#5 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 02:43 PM
 
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(((Clay)))  I know the feeling of "hey, why not add this to the already full load!" ... Would a wrap be more secure than a sling to free your hands to take care of DS? Is there homeschoolers in the area where you have to drop the girls? You could ask for a teen to meet you there and give you a hand for the drop/pick up time and to entertain DS while the girls are at the program?  I know my son would be willing to do that if we were closer.

 


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#6 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 02:51 PM
 
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My friend came and picked the kids for the day. It was nice to only have myself to care of for a day.

 

 

 

 


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#7 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 03:05 PM
 
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Clay-- I know just exactly how it is with a high-needs 2yo winky.gif Just, I didn't have 3 others to deal with, too. I would absolutely leave the two in the car, but instead of walking in, I'd have to have someone meet me at the door so the car could stay in sight.

 

As for Tor in public? Mama. Put that child on a leash. I kid you not. My ds would be a....well, he wouldn't be alive today if I had not harnessed him. Other people be damned-- your child's safety and your sanity trump other people's comfort (which is what one of you guys, I think, said, when I was talking about bringing ds into public women's rooms at his age).

 

Camping-- it was bloody freezing. But we had a great time, and the band was fantastic. Tuatha Dea, if y'all didn't catch my last post in the September thread.


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#8 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 05:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We actually have tried those harness/leash things... ds is kind of like the deranged puppy, he just doesn't "get" the harness and knocks himself off his feet over and over (runs full tilt, hits end of harness, falls over).  DH and I kept waiting for him to learn but nope.  LOL  I was telling dh I'd give it another try though because yeah... he unlatches strollers/shopping carts and just climbs out while we're moving full tilt.  No fear.

 

And I'm a babywearing junkie!  I have slings, wraps, ergo, etc.  :)  Some mamas are diaper junkies but for me it's carriers.  My main worry is that when ds is upset he is VERY physical.  I've gotten black eyes, split lips, bruises, serious bites (broken skin) and so have his big sisters.  If dd3 is on my body she'll be at risk no matter how secure she is held.  :(  So I need to think up some techniques for keeping ds "on task" during pick up/drop off.  For example, dd2's integrated preschool is housed in linked classrooms on the second floor of a school.  To get there I have to go through the playground, past the gym, then up two flights of stairs and down a hall.  And the classroom itself is irresistable to ds (signing dd2 out takes about 5 minutes).  Then reverse the process.  If he decides he doesn't want to leave the classroom... or walk down the stairs... or go through the playground... it could get dicey.  So again I'm going to need some ideas.

 

I'll ask around about teens or friends who could meet up around pick up times... dh was thinking maybe I could get the kiddos up to his lab and he'd take 15 minutes off and take the older girls to afterschool.  The problem there is his schedule isn't really up to him... science happens when it happens and he an't be sure he'll have "those" 15 minutes.  But it could work for most days.  And it looks like with dd2 going to preschool on Fridays we wont be doing afterschool on Friday.  And dd1 really wants to join girl scouts and the only troop that has space for her meets on Monday evenings so we wouldn't do afterschool on Monday (too little time to get the girls at afterschool and still make it to scouts)... so afterschool would be only T/W/Th.  Which makes life easier in terms of schedule those it does affect the affordability of the program a bit (it's a flat fee no matter how many days/week you attend).

 

I know in a few months this will all be old hat... I remember the panic and stress of adding each new kiddo to the mix (I was TERRIFIED the first time I was alone with dd1, and then again when it was dd1/dd2, and yet again with dd1/dd2/ds).  And I have a few bribes to get myself through this coming weekend (when dh is off at the wedding).  But I really wish I could just sort of fast-forward to the confidence I'll have down the road, because I need it now!  If anyone has a crystal ball, now would be a good timeto share.  LOL

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More seriously, a topic from last month's thread that is worth delving into this month... living in a non-pagan community, or near non-pagan family/friends/employers.  How much do you share?  How do you stay true to your own evolving beliefs and philosophies when they may not be shared by others, or when others might be actively hurt by those beliefs or antagonistic to them?  How do you balance being in the broom closet with being honest and true?  How do you know thyself if you can't BE yourself in public, or even sometimes in private?


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#9 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 06:11 PM
 
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I don't feel the need to "hide" but I don't go around saying I'm Pagan either...

 

My spirituality is more about being connected with the natural cycle of life, about acknowleging the sacredness in the mundane, about intention in my daily life and my own connection to the divine than about rituals so it's not obvious for people around.

 

I wear my Goddess pendant or my Spiral pendant, often get comment about how cool they look but people don't seem to see them as religious/spiritual symbols.

 

 


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#10 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 06:20 PM
 
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Subbing. No time to post right now.  Will come back Monday or Tuesday.


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#11 of 217 Old 10-02-2011, 07:40 PM
 
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#12 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 05:20 AM
 
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Weird, third attempt to sub.  I guess I'll write a note since the Subscribe button and my various electronic devices aren't working together.

 


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Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post

 

reality- dh goes back to work (half days) tomorrow and I'm scared stiff.  Actually, it's not so much the home front that is getting me, but the thought of going out and about with all 4 kiddos.  Tiel isn't even 2 weeks old yet!  But dd1 and dd2 need to be dropped off/picked up from their afternoon program.  And I'm scared silly about getting ds into and out of the drop off process while holding dd3.  He is sooooo physical, and fast, and determined to be inolved... over the past week or two he has been a real handful, climbing out of shopping carts, running away on streets/in parks, throwing serious fall on the ground screaming fits, and often resisting his carseat with kicks/screams/self injury.  I'e dealt with it, but if Tiel is in my arms or in a sling... I'm lost.  I wont be able to physically restrain/protect both kiddos.  But I certainly can't leave ds and dd3 in their car seats in the car while I walk the kiddos into their programs or pick them up.  And what about shopping or just getting out?  ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

It's possible that the afterschool program will have to go even if all there is well, just because I can't manage ds.  :(  How sad a testimonial to my parenting is that?  DH and I are exploring ideas, but oy!  To have the family held hostage somewhat by a high needs 2yo is frustrating as heck.



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post

We actually have tried those harness/leash things... ds is kind of like the deranged puppy, he just doesn't "get" the harness and knocks himself off his feet over and over (runs full tilt, hits end of harness, falls over).  DH and I kept waiting for him to learn but nope.  LOL  I was telling dh I'd give it another try though because yeah... he unlatches strollers/shopping carts and just climbs out while we're moving full tilt.  No fear.

 

And I'm a babywearing junkie!  I have slings, wraps, ergo, etc.  :)  Some mamas are diaper junkies but for me it's carriers.  My main worry is that when ds is upset he is VERY physical.  I've gotten black eyes, split lips, bruises, serious bites (broken skin) and so have his big sisters.  If dd3 is on my body she'll be at risk no matter how secure she is held.  :(  So I need to think up some techniques for keeping ds "on task" during pick up/drop off.  For example, dd2's integrated preschool is housed in linked classrooms on the second floor of a school.  To get there I have to go through the playground, past the gym, then up two flights of stairs and down a hall.  And the classroom itself is irresistable to ds (signing dd2 out takes about 5 minutes).  Then reverse the process.  If he decides he doesn't want to leave the classroom... or walk down the stairs... or go through the playground... it could get dicey.  So again I'm going to need some ideas.

 

I'll ask around about teens or friends who could meet up around pick up times... dh was thinking maybe I could get the kiddos up to his lab and he'd take 15 minutes off and take the older girls to afterschool.  The problem there is his schedule isn't really up to him... science happens when it happens and he an't be sure he'll have "those" 15 minutes.  But it could work for most days.  And it looks like with dd2 going to preschool on Fridays we wont be doing afterschool on Friday.  And dd1 really wants to join girl scouts and the only troop that has space for her meets on Monday evenings so we wouldn't do afterschool on Monday (too little time to get the girls at afterschool and still make it to scouts)... so afterschool would be only T/W/Th.  Which makes life easier in terms of schedule those it does affect the affordability of the program a bit (it's a flat fee no matter how many days/week you attend).

 

I know in a few months this will all be old hat... I remember the panic and stress of adding each new kiddo to the mix (I was TERRIFIED the first time I was alone with dd1, and then again when it was dd1/dd2, and yet again with dd1/dd2/ds).  And I have a few bribes to get myself through this coming weekend (when dh is off at the wedding).  But I really wish I could just sort of fast-forward to the confidence I'll have down the road, because I need it now!  If anyone has a crystal ball, now would be a good timeto share.  LOL

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More seriously, a topic from last month's thread that is worth delving into this month... living in a non-pagan community, or near non-pagan family/friends/employers.  How much do you share?  How do you stay true to your own evolving beliefs and philosophies when they may not be shared by others, or when others might be actively hurt by those beliefs or antagonistic to them?  How do you balance being in the broom closet with being honest and true?  How do you know thyself if you can't BE yourself in public, or even sometimes in private?



will he let you wear him on your back? can you wear both kids safely? as in will he not try to hurt someone? that has got to be hard. my littlest will be 2 on the 5th. and i remember when she was born, my high needs kid was 2. i almost bought a leash, but instead stayed home alot. she is 4 now and i still sometimes think i should havebought a leash. lol.

DH and I are in talks about having more. we think it is completely crazy bc of our health issues, our money issues, our living space issues, etc etc. but he understands that i look around and feel like i am missing someone. he isnt willing to say yes lets do it, but isnt opposed to an accident either. so he left it up to me i guess. so now i wrestle with the decision myself. i have a list a mile long of why not and only one reason to do it.

 

i just be myself. i dont bradcast it but i dont hide it either. i am sure everyone knows. funny, my mil is more ok now that i started attending a church even if it is uu. <shrug> i only know a couple people irl who are pagan here and the pagan community in the large town near here is small. i havent tried being a prat of the pagan community except here and amybe at the uu church sometimes.

 


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#14 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 09:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View PostWe actually have tried those harness/leash things... ds is kind of like the deranged puppy, he just doesn't "get" the harness and knocks himself off his feet over and over (runs full tilt, hits end of harness, falls over).  DH and I kept waiting for him to learn but nope.  LOL  I was telling dh I'd give it another try though because yeah... he unlatches strollers/shopping carts and just climbs out while we're moving full tilt.  No fear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More seriously, a topic from last month's thread that is worth delving into this month... living in a non-pagan community, or near non-pagan family/friends/employers.  How much do you share?  How do you stay true to your own evolving beliefs and philosophies when they may not be shared by others, or when others might be actively hurt by those beliefs or antagonistic to them?  How do you balance being in the broom closet with being honest and true?  How do you know thyself if you can't BE yourself in public, or even sometimes in private?


DS was just.like.that. JUST like. I just got kind of good at fetching him up before he crashed, but it didn't always work...whatever. It stinks watching your kid hurt, especially when it's bullheaded and self-inflicted, but you just kind of have to shrug and move on, y'know? R did that all.the.time. And no fear, either. You know on the playgrounds that are meant for 5-12yo's? And they have a fireman's pole that is about 6' off the ground? At 2, ds would walk right off of the opening. As if the ground under his feet kept going. Like Wile E. Coyote off the cliff, and he'd look down after to realize there's no ground? DS did that. Did not use the pole, or even notice it. I'd have to be under it to catch him every time.

 

My Paganism: now that I'm kind of practicing a dual faith, that's a weird situation. I'm really coming to the realization that I'm a Witch through and through and I just can't jive with the Jesus thing, but I'm still trying to reconcile both and find a way to believe that Jesus is God, too-- just, not the only one. As for being Pagan I am WAY out of the closet and I don't care who knows. But that took a long, long time. I guess that's part of my growing the not-give-a-shit bone.

Here's the funny part: DS thinks they are unreconcilable and that people will....I dunno, condemn us for the other. Like, he does NOT want the Catholics at the church where we take classes to know we're Pagan. And he's afraid, I think, of our Pagan community finding out that we "do" Catholicism. I guess that's being 10yo, though, huh? He begged me not to let on that we're Pagan at the Catholic church. I said, I am not ashamed of my spirituality and if I feel the need to let it out (which I have not, yet) then that's MY path, but I will not "out" him because that's HIS path.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View PostI don't feel the need to "hide" but I don't go around saying I'm Pagan either...

 

My spirituality is more about being connected with the natural cycle of life, about acknowleging the sacredness in the mundane, about intention in my daily life and my own connection to the divine than about rituals so it's not obvious for people around.

 

yeahthat.gif

 

But I am way open about it, if anyone asks. EXCEPT Baptists, in general....they are so "In Yo Face" down here that it's just not worth my time or energy.



Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View PostIt's possible that the afterschool program will have to go even if all there is well, just because I can't manage ds.  :(  How sad a testimonial to my parenting is that? 


I meant to reply to this as well. It's NOTHING to do with your parenting. Which is why you have the others, so that they all can be testimony that everybody's different, and it's not you at all. I met a mom once whose 1st son was just off the wall. Just nuts off the wall. Her 2nd one was calm, compliant, an angel, behavior-wise. She had spent so much time in tears over the first one. She thought she was a failure as a mom. Then she had the 2nd one and she said "I know God sent me the 2nd one so that I would know I am not a failure as a mom".

 

Tor is just who he is. That's all. I have had people telling me that R chose me as a mom because he knew I could handle it. And those that believe in God say that about him, too, that God knew I could handle R and that's why I was chosen to be his parent. I seriously doubt <God's (or whoever's)> and R's confidence, most of the time, and I don't know who in the world thought I needed MORE patience, but most times it's a day-by-day thing. Lately, srsly, I am so afraid I'll be That Mom for the final time-- my son will be the one in the paper in the orange jumpsuit, or <gasp> that he won't make it through childhood or young adulthood because of stOOpid decisions and impulsiveness. I just keep trying to stay in the now. It's bloody hard, no mistake.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Postfunny, my mil is more ok now that i started attending a church even if it is uu. <shrug>

 


Isn't that the weirdest thing? People leave me alone because of the UU, generally shrug.gif What, because it's a building? headscratch.gif

 


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#15 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 09:18 AM
 
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I just posted in the other thread so I won't double post it here.  Just subscribing so I don't miss the new thread.



Welcome:)

 

 

 


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#16 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 09:19 AM
 
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Subbing and I will be back:)


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#17 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 09:31 AM
 
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I totally didn't manage to keep up with the September thread, but I'm back now!

Maia - We went camping and froze too, but I'm still glad to have gotten one last trip before the cold really begins.

Wombat - Good luck! I'm definitely jonesing for a third baby, but every time I think of the practicalities that would be involved in running around a five year old and a two year old and a baby, I know I want to wait. Four kids? You must be a rock star!

On being "out": I'm not out about being pagan. If people ask me about my religion, I generally talk about being Unitarain Universalist, which is a big part of my religious identity as well. There's a lot of misconceptions about Paganism, but also, there are a lot of different varieties of Paganism, too, and I think that a lot of people think of Paganism as being about Magick and Witchcraft, which is fine, but that doesn't really reflect my religious practices at all, and generally speaking, I don't have a lot of opportunities to talk about religion in depth, though I am joining the small group ministry through the UU church, so maybe this will change...

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone knew any good resources about learning about astrology from a sidereal perspective? I'm a complete novice at astrology, having brushed it off since I never even vaguely resembled being a Capricorn, but now I'm interested, particularly in resources that talk about the astronomy aspect of the whole thing, not just the woo-woo part, LOL.

Anyway, loving fall. It finally stopped raining, so the kids and I will be able to go back to furiously pressing leaves to decorate the altar. I have a straw wreath somewhere in my closet, and I'd love to use that as the base of a wreath for all the leaves we've pressed at some point. We definitely have color in our leaves, but next week is generally when the leaves have really turned. I'm so excited.

Oh, and we saw a turtle today swimming through the river! I have to say, as much as I hate the crime rates our neighborhood has, for a Pagan, it's probably the best place to be in the city. We see hawks, herons, turtles, woodpeckers, etc... all attracted to the river. The park district has decided to restore the native woodland (I had always thought that my side of the river was prairie, but whatever...) on the branch where we live. We are just starting the process of looking to buy our first home, but I'm hoping that we will see some of the shift of the wildlife as the area is restored.

And Samhain, oh how I love Samhain. One of my favorite holidays for sure. We just checked out a huge stack of secular Halloween books. I'm not exactly a great family historian, but I'm going to try to devote this month on doing more genealogy research. Anyone else getting the Samhain bug?

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#18 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 10:45 AM
 
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Fall has finally come to the Pacific Northwest.. today its cool and rainy as it will be until May next year. I've put a lovely bone broth in the crockpot and I'm spending my morning trying to tie up loose ends that may have unraveled lately..... you know phone calls, insurance forms, volunteer hours turn in sheet completed... it seemed apropos with Rosh Hashanah going on for our Jewish friends.

I'll do soup and biscuits for tonight's dinner.
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#19 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 11:25 AM
 
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subbing as no time to post right now!  Clay - my magic 8 ball says - outlook good! for the confidence question in managing 4 kiddos so there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I have more re: in/out of the broom closet.

 

Happy Monday everyone!


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#20 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 12:24 PM
 
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Aeress - Thank you for your welcome in the last thread.  It is encouraging to know that there are shared similarities.

 

I've enjoyed reading the other responses so far about being in the broom closet.  For our family, I think regardless of how new or not we are as Pagans, we will likely always need to remain in the broom closet when it comes to our family.  Dh's family is Baptist in the truest, most conservative sense of the word.  My new BIL is so anti-pagan that he would never accept us in any way and would likely mean that we would not be able to see my sister or their children (when/if they have any).  There are already tensions as it relates to my side of the family and BILs when the understanding was that everyone was an xian - his family does not celebrate Christmas, Easter, etc because of their roots in Paganism (some of his beliefs on the issue aren't correct, but you literally cannot reason with the man).  I can't even imagine what would happen if he knew there were real and actual Pagans in his midst. 

 

It feels disingenuous to continue on avoiding the topic and letting the family think all is as it ever was.  On the other hand, I've been doing it in one way or another for four years now.  We have similarities with universalism so we may just go with that which will still be difficult for the family to accept.  Still, since our families are very much the evangelical/fundie types, there's no room in there for anything other than their "right" answer.  Leaving that means we're in need of saving in their eyes and no amount of explaining otherwise will change that.  Dealing with that is not something I relish in the slightest.

 

 

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#21 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 01:26 PM
 
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Figure I'd better post before another month gets away from me!

 

Clay, I agree with Maia - is there any way that you can get the program to work with bringing the girls and signout sheet to you?  With stairs there is no stroller access (I know you use wraps, but more people understand transporting littles in strollers).   I bet you could argue safety concerns/accessibilty concerns to get some support.  Something my sons' preschool did was advocate parents hooking up and  taking turns at pickup.  All littles remain strapped in carseats in cars parked next to each other, one mama watches both cars while the other mama picks up and then they switch. if the paperwork is in place, one mama could collect all the children.  I know what you mean about the harnesses -- there was a stage of toddlerhood where they just didn't work well.  Maybe there needed to be a stage of training the toddler to walk safely?  Though to speak of leash-training one's toddler is to invite wrath and ire from those that hate harnesses, there probably needs to be some practice.  I found the harness most useful when the child was old enough to understand "stay with mama or you will have to wear the harness so mama knows you are safe."  


Oops, someone needs a diaper change.  Going to post and hopefully come back later with more.

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#22 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 02:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

I don't feel the need to "hide" but I don't go around saying I'm Pagan either...

 

My spirituality is more about being connected with the natural cycle of life, about acknowleging the sacredness in the mundane, about intention in my daily life and my own connection to the divine than about rituals so it's not obvious for people around.

 

This.  I did make the commitment to raise my children Catholic when I married 20 years ago so, in the pagan way of following through on an oath, I do get them through until Confirmation, at which point it is their decision (my oldest went through with it).  So there is a church in my life and that may be all some people see.

 

I was brought up with a fairly conservative Baptist background on one side, too, and a fairly liberal protestant background on the other side of the family.  A lot about Catholicism seems pretty Pagan/magical to me by comparison with the protestant traditions.  I participate but I don't do it right - I don't think I have it in me to do it right -- and have no compunction about adapting traditions I love, like the Rosary, and candles with intention, to my own needs.  I love the whole cult of Mary, all the different versions of Mary, and a lot of the saints - I know it isn't officially pantheon of dieties but it sure feels like one.  I also cultivate a strong earthbased spirituality, perform moon rituals, perform spells on occasion, and rely on spiritual rituals like meditation, astrology, Tarot, and treasure mapping some of which are definitely not sanctioned by the Church. I can't fit all of this in one label so I don't try.  Anyone who pays attention to me will figure all this out about me eventually.  I don't hide anything, but some things are private and some are public.  People do leave me alone because I take my kids to a building sometimes, I guess, lol!

 

The one thing that has been difficult for me with the Catholicism is the pro-life activism that dd is invited to through the church.  I don't want to get into a debate, but I don't feel comfortable at all with it, and have shared my feelings and reasons with dd. We also have close friends who are pro-choice activists, so it balances.  She does not want to participate either - if the pressure becomes great enough, she will have to make the choice and I will support her in whatever she chooses. 

 

I absolutely believe in reincarnation and that babies choose who they are born to  - Maia, you refer to this.  I actually sense a little girl hovering around right now - dreamed I was pg with number 4 (like you, Clay) and then it turned out the baby was to be in my life but not born to me.  My sister is ttc at the moment and I had similar dreams when she had her older children (and with my own, and with the babies that I miscarried, as well).  I fully expect to be an auntie again some time soon.  I have a feeling from my dream that she will confirm a pg in November!

 

Hugs, Lioness - I know that your ambivalence about having another child has been going on for a while.  

 

My dh has been unemployed and now has a job again, something completely different.  The schedule is awesome for us  5 am-1:30 pm shifts, no travel, so he'll be home during the busy family shift, able to help out with my home childcare, pick the kids up from school, make dinner, and be home while I do my night courses. He only needs about 6 hours of sleep a night to my 8/9, so the early start isn't so bad - he'll be going to bed with me, for a change!  The company is one he's always admired, famous for being a decent employer.  The starting wage leaves our family in the hole every month though.  If we are able to do some refinancing it could work and when I am done my program in a year, my income will increase. - dh being happy and healthier  makes it worth the try.  This job is more physical, he'll have chances to exercise and a regular schedule that will make healthy eating more possible for him. And the time he'll have with the kids will be precious for all of us.  His travel left him with weight gain, depression  and health problems that he needs to work on.  My own dad was only a few years older than my dh when he passed away from addictions and not taking care of himself.  I am more afraid of dh having serious health problems than I am of say, losing my home.  I  *refuse* to be a young widow, to raise my children alone.  When I look at my treasure map, this job *could* be the start of the fulfillment of a lot of things I want for my family.  We'll see how it goes.  

 

 

 A friend is selling off her free-range, ethically and organically raised herd for a good price and I am trying to decide if we like goat enough to commit to a large quantity of it.  She gave me a sample so I have some goat ribs to cook for tomorrow.  All the recipes I can find sound yum to me but are too spicy for my children.  I figure my kids will like anything covered with honey and slow cooked until tender so I'm thinking I'll go that route...

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#23 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 02:46 PM
 
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Thanks, everyone, for the welcome. Good grief…I just joined you all and I’m already way behind! Apologies for the delayed personals below. duh.gif

Singin – I can’t even imagine how exhausted you must be! An OT sounds like a great idea. I hope that you have a good support network for yourself (irl), too. Sending you lots of grounding, bolstering energy.

Maia – Much patience and compassion to you, too. It must be especially difficult to keep quiet and watch all of this unfold, given the fact that you understand the situation so well from multiple angles. Maybe this is actually a new opportunity in some way… like, perhaps, you’re getting to walk through non-attachment right now? I certainly don’t want or mean to overstep any bounds, but if I were you I think I might need to reframe the situation for myself in order to find some sense of agency. Otherwise, I’m sure I’d rapidly devolve into major frustration and resentment!

Valerie – Hooray for rain! Drink up, thirsty well!!

Aeress & Philomom – My mouth is watering…I can practically smell the goodies you’re baking! I can’t wait to get into the kitchen myself.

Clay – Thanks for taking over as threadkeeper! I second Maia’s comment that your parenting ability is not in question. I know my opinion may not be terribly valid, seeing as how I’m not a mama yet, but I have certainly observed many parents and children (and have been part of a pretty loving, yet dysfunctional, family), and I know bad parenting when I see it. You sound like an awesome mama to me.

As for me, sorry for the indecipherable acronyms. It’s easy to forget that what’s “native dialect” on one forum is total jibberish in another! We’re going to be doing out first intrauterine insemination in a few weeks’ time, using frozen sperm from a willing-to-be-known donor. What that means, basically, is that any progeny created with his swimmers will be given his contact info at their request once they reach 18yo. It’s not an ideal situation (we really wanted to use a known donor who wanted to be peripherally involved—like an Uncle No-Strings-Attached—which didn’t happen for several reasons), but we’re really happy with the donor we chose. Now let’s hope it works!

Autumn arrived here all of a sudden a few days ago. One day we had 95-degree weather, the next it was cool and crisp with golden leaves starting to come out. I love Summer in general and was very sad that we had such a short one this year, but I’m really excited for this new season. It’s always a gorgeous time of year here in Sonoma County—brilliantly colored vineyards and apple trees stretching out in all directions in contrast with the redwoods and the ocean. I can’t wait to go to the pumpkin patch and, soon, the chestnut orchard. I think all that is particularly exciting this year because we’re so vividly imagining what it will be like in the years to come, when (with any luck), we’ll get to experience it all with our little one(s). I just hope we don’t skip over Autumn, too, this year…today is gray and rainy, which in this part of the world means Winter. Supposedly this wet spell is only going to last a few days, though, so I’m envisioning a beautiful Samhain.

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#24 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 04:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post Anyone else getting the Samhain bug?


HELL yeah. I brought out my Samhain/Autumn coffee mugs. I know it's silly, but I change them with the holidays. I have two or three for each, and I finally found an Imbolc one on Etsy! Yay! Imbolc is usually when I use the "normal" ones, since I don't have any for the season, and Imbolc kind of gets way overlooked in our house because ds's birthday is 1/31.

 

I am going to decorate just a tiny bit. No witches or bats or that kind of thing, but a couple small pumpkins or gourds and I have some altar cloths that are really just a yard of seasonal fabric that I will use on a table or two. I wonder if it'd be alright to add orange candles.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View PostI've put a lovely bone broth in the crockpot


Do share how you do that? I am on the Paleo thread, too, though that's not why I am; I have been on the hCG diet on and off for a year, and am pretty well grain/starch/sugar free and low carb. I am on the weight loss phase right now, but I have some bones in a baggie in the freezer for the next phase. I want to try to do that, too, make the broth. Do you then make soup from it? Or eat plain? Or both?

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by pampered_mom View PostMy new BIL is so anti-pagan that he would never accept us in any way and would likely mean that we would not be able to see my sister or their children (when/if they have any).  There are already tensions as it relates to my side of the family and BILs when the understanding was that everyone was an xian - his family does not celebrate Christmas, Easter, etc because of their roots in Paganism (some of his beliefs on the issue aren't correct, but you literally cannot reason with the man).  I can't even imagine what would happen if he knew there were real and actual Pagans in his midst. 

 

It feels disingenuous to continue on avoiding the topic and letting the family think all is as it ever was.  On the other hand, I've been doing it in one way or another for four years now.  We have similarities with universalism so we may just go with that which will still be difficult for the family to accept.  Still, since our families are very much the evangelical/fundie types, there's no room in there for anything other than their "right" answer.  Leaving that means we're in need of saving in their eyes and no amount of explaining otherwise will change that.  Dealing with that is not something I relish in the slightest.

 

 


Good gracious, mama, that has to stink. What in the world did your sister marry the oaf for? Sorry...please don't take offense, when you get to know me, you'll know I'm not snarky really orngbiggrin.gif But srsly. I'd be all over that, not being able to see my sister, that guy would have an earful out of me for sure. I'm ballsy that way.

 

Welcome, btw!

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View PostMaybe there needed to be a stage of training the toddler to walk safely?  Though to speak of leash-training one's toddler is to invite wrath and ire from those that hate harnesses, there probably needs to be some practice.  I found the harness most useful when the child was old enough to understand "stay with mama or you will have to wear the harness so mama knows you are safe." 


Ain't none of that kind of thing happening with this kind of child, I'm afraid. They don't listen. And think it's funny not to. They have their own agenda. Practice, yeah, though; that's true.

Mine was on a harness from the time he could walk. Until he was 3ish. Then, I could *mostly* trust him, but not always. He would randomly decide to take off on me, and it was usually directly towards a busy street, laughing all the way. He had butt length hair at the time, and even standing right beside me, I couldn't catch him.

Training them to walk safely....sorry, after raising my ds, I'm just cracking up about that lol.gif They don't train.

 



Quote:

Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View PostI love the whole cult of Mary, all the different versions of Mary, and a lot of the saints - I know it isn't officially pantheon of dieties but it sure feels like one.  I also cultivate a strong earthbased spirituality, perform moon rituals, perform spells on occasion, and rely on spiritual rituals like meditation, astrology, Tarot, and treasure mapping some of which are definitely not sanctioned by the Church. I can't fit all of this in one label so I don't try. 

 

I absolutely believe in reincarnation and that babies choose who they are born to  - Maia, you refer to this.

 

 

 

The schedule is awesome for us  5 am-1:30 pm shifts, no travel, so he'll be home during the busy family shift

...He only needs about 6 hours of sleep a night to my 8/9, so the early start isn't so bad

 

I'd love to hear more, about the "cult of Mary" and your feelings on the saints. I think they're much like gods and goddesses, too. I believe that when the early church took over the Pagan temples and things, that they replaced the gods and goddesses with saints, so people would be able to more seamlessly convert. You could go in the "temple" (now a church) and worship your gods privately, while appearing to venerate a saint or two winky.gif

 

I don't believe in reincarnation, necessarily. I don't have any thoughts about afterlife (or lives). When someone comes back to let us know, I'll have thoughts then! lol.gif But I get what you mean.

 

Your dh's schedule and y'all's sleep schedules, and sleep amounts, sound just like M and me! How cool is that smile.gif

 

 


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#25 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 05:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cortinacolorado View PostMaia – Much patience and compassion to you, too. It must be especially difficult to keep quiet and watch all of this unfold, given the fact that you understand the situation so well from multiple angles. Maybe this is actually a new opportunity in some way… like, perhaps, you’re getting to walk through non-attachment right now? I certainly don’t want or mean to overstep any bounds, but if I were you I think I might need to reframe the situation for myself in order to find some sense of agency. Otherwise, I’m sure I’d rapidly devolve into major frustration and resentment!

As for me, sorry for the indecipherable acronyms. It’s easy to forget that what’s “native dialect” on one forum is total jibberish in another! We’re going to be doing out first intrauterine insemination in a few weeks’ time, using frozen sperm from a willing-to-be-known donor. What that means, basically, is that any progeny created with his swimmers will be given his contact info at their request once they reach 18yo. It’s not an ideal situation (we really wanted to use a known donor who wanted to be peripherally involved—like an Uncle No-Strings-Attached—which didn’t happen for several reasons), but we’re really happy with the donor we chose. Now let’s hope it works!

 

Oh wow, you need to learn to multi-quote lol.gif I am totally not getting what you're talking about wrt your notes to me! You mean, me watching Clay's situation with Tor unfold? Nah...I really just have empathy.

With people in the past who have judged me, insinuating that my son's behavior is as a result of my (bad) parenting in some way, THOSE people (and Clay in NO WAY is one of them!) I wish a child like mine on. I kid you not. Some people surely need a dose of understanding, kwim? Karma is just funny as hell to watch. Yeah, in a mean way redface.gif
 

 

Welcome to all the newbies, btw Welcome.gif

 

Oh, and thanks for explaining the acronyms! "Swimmers" biglaugh.gif
 


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#26 of 217 Old 10-03-2011, 06:33 PM
 
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Quote:

 

Ain't none of that kind of thing happening with this kind of child, I'm afraid. They don't listen. And think it's funny not to. They have their own agenda. Practice, yeah, though; that's true.

Mine was on a harness from the time he could walk. Until he was 3ish. Then, I could *mostly* trust him, but not always. He would randomly decide to take off on me, and it was usually directly towards a busy street, laughing all the way. He had butt length hair at the time, and even standing right beside me, I couldn't catch him.

Training them to walk safely....sorry, after raising my ds, I'm just cracking up about that lol.gif They don't train.

 

I know exactly what you mean.  Some kids are runners and some aren't and until you have parented or cared for a runner, you just don't get it.  I'm in early learning/child care and I've cared for runners, thought my oldest was hard to keep track of till I met a *real* runner.  And they always, always save the worst of the behavior for the one who they trust to love them the most...for mama,usually, in other words. 

 

I love the idea seasonal coffee mugs by the way. I don't like a lot of decorations for any season, but a few things that you change over, that becomes a tradition and I can deal with that- awesome!

 

I have about fifty things to do tonight so I cannot go on about religion, but I agree with you, basically, Maia.

 

 I wanted to wish you luck on your IUI, Cortinacolorado.  And welcome - welcome to anyone who has joined in the recent past.  I used to participate more regularly, but I've been so busy.... October and Samhain coming brings lots of us back to the thread, lots of new posters, too.  Cheers!

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#27 of 217 Old 10-04-2011, 05:07 AM
 
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are we 4 days in to october already?!?  just subbing for now will be back later to read through and post! 

 

HAPPY OCTOBER!!! HOORAY!!!


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#28 of 217 Old 10-04-2011, 06:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pampered_mom View Post For our family, I think regardless of how new or not we are as Pagans, we will likely always need to remain in the broom closet when it comes to our family. 

 


(((hugs))) that has got to be difficult. 

 



Quote:

Originally Posted by Aubergine68 View Post
 A lot about Catholicism seems pretty Pagan/magical to me by comparison with the protestant traditions. 

 

and have no compunction about adapting traditions I love, like the Rosary, and candles with intention, to my own needs.  I love the whole cult of Mary, all the different versions of Mary, and a lot of the saints - I know it isn't officially pantheon of dieties but it sure feels like one.  I also cultivate a strong earthbased spirituality, perform moon rituals, perform spells on occasion, and rely on spiritual rituals like meditation, astrology, Tarot, and treasure mapping . I can't fit all of this in one label so I don't try.  Anyone who pays attention to me will figure all this out about me eventually.  I don't hide anything, but some things are private and some are public.


I absolutely believe in reincarnation and that babies choose who they are born to 

 


My dh has been unemployed and now has a job again, something completely different. 

I agree with all you have said here.  The bold is really me:)  I think most people who get to know me would figure me out and if they were to ask I would openly talk about my beliefs.  I am not hiding anything either.  I choose not to discuss my beliefs/practices with certain people, people who aren't insterested in an open conversation but converting/saving me.  Living in a very small town my path can and is sometimes a very lonely one, both my sahm path and my spiritual path.  That is why I love this group:) More on this topic later:)

 

Congrats on your DH getting a job  joy.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

Good gracious, mama, that has to stink. What in the world did your sister marry the oaf for? Sorry...please don't take offense, when you get to know me, you'll know I'm not snarky really orngbiggrin.gif But srsly. I'd be all over that, not being able to see my sister, that guy would have an earful out of me for sure. I'm ballsy that way.

 



That's what I love about you:) You say it how it is and with humor:)  I think we are about the same age, and you are one of the people who gave me the courage to say this is me! I wanted to live and not be worried about what everyone else is saying about me, or woud say about me.  Thanks mamaorngbiggrin.gif



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Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post

reality- dh goes back to work (half days) tomorrow and I'm scared stiff.  Actually, it's not so much the home front that is getting me, but the thought of going out and about with all 4 kiddos.  Tiel isn't even 2 weeks old yet!  But dd1 and dd2 need to be dropped off/picked up from their afternoon program.  And I'm scared silly about getting ds into and out of the drop off process while holding dd3.  He is sooooo physical, and fast, and determined to be inolved... over the past week or two he has been a real handful, climbing out of shopping carts, running away on streets/in parks, throwing serious fall on the ground screaming fits, and often resisting his carseat with kicks/screams/self injury.  I'e dealt with it, but if Tiel is in my arms or in a sling... I'm lost.  I wont be able to physically restrain/protect both kiddos.  But I certainly can't leave ds and dd3 in their car seats in the car while I walk the kiddos into their programs or pick them up.  And what about shopping or just getting out?  ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I remember the feeling when my dh went back to work.  (((hugs)))  I think you all who have children who are different ages have it much tougher than I did by having mine all at the same time.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post

 

I'll ask around about teens or friends who could meet up around pick up times...

You could  also maybe look for someone like me.  My kids are almost grown and I love watching/helping friends that have little ones.  They are my baby fix:) 


earth.gif lovin, treehugger.gif  veggie

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#29 of 217 Old 10-04-2011, 07:30 AM
 
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redveg  - Thanks for the welcome!

 

revolting - I think the wreath idea sounds lovely!  A river and woodland area sounds like a lovely place to live near.  When we moved to our neighborhood I was drawn to all of the old trees.  Our street is probably 5-15 degrees cooler in the summer thanks to all of the shade.  Our house is flanked on both sides by two huge maple trees.  They've always felt to me like they were wise old women and I've been thankful for what always felt like their protection over us.  I do wish the house had better sunlight, though as it would be make taking pictures much easier.  I've been a bit distressed in the last couple of years, though, as the neighbors have begun cutting trees down.  It seems like losing old friends.

 

aubergine - I'm hopeful that your dh's new job will be the beginning of many wonderful things for your family and that the transition financially and otherwise into the new job will be a smooth one.

 

cortinacolorado - lots of good vibes for a successful iui.

 

maiasaura - I love the idea of themed coffee mugs.  I have my eye on one at the apple orchard for my husband.  It's a very rustic one with this amazing face sculpted into the side of it.  I think it would be perfect for autumn.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

Good gracious, mama, that has to stink. What in the world did your sister marry the oaf for? Sorry...please don't take offense, when you get to know me, you'll know I'm not snarky really orngbiggrin.gif But srsly. I'd be all over that, not being able to see my sister, that guy would have an earful out of me for sure. I'm ballsy that way.

 

Welcome, btw!

 

Your guess is a good as mine.  I was against their marriage the first time they were engaged, against her getting back together with him after he broke off the engagement, and against them getting married this time as well.  In my gut it felt like nothing good would come from their union and I can't say as in practice that I was wrong.  I just found out that he apparently believes that my mom and I make all the decisions in our respective marriages based upon what he says my father and husband told him.  He tends to hear what he wants regardless of what a person actually says.  He's let my sister know that he will not be allowing her to do the same thing in their marriage and has apparently decided that they will be moving and that she will have no say in the house - either where it is located or what kind of house it is.

 

Oh, and oaf is a perfectly acceptable way to describe him.

 

ETA:  We took our van in today to the repair shop and I could use a good vibe or two.  The EGR valve and o2 sensors likely need to be replaced with money I don't really have to spend.  After putting $700 into dh's car earlier this year the savings account is just about empty, but this is the only vehicle that all five of us can ride in together as dh's car has a seatbelt that does not work.  Not to mention the fact that I'm still paying off the loan on the van.  *sigh* I'm not a fan of high mileage vehicles at the moment.  One of these days I'd really like to own something that has less than 100k on it.

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#30 of 217 Old 10-04-2011, 08:52 AM
 
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I didn't get to say it proper in my first post but Welcome everyone!!  thumbsup.gif

 

Re: Broom Closet & beliefs -

Like Aubergine I've made a commitment to raise my kids to be exposed to as many religious ideas as I can.  I want to help explain and show them the similarities between many of these beliefs as all too often religion is used a tool of social control & division of the masses (with huge political overtones). Sorry my sociology major is rearing its head up!

 

Like she said above - I've got my spiritual practices which I'm cultivating (living within the season, embracing nature, meditating with the moon), but I see the magickal in many practices.  My thoughts are: you as the individual create your own magick in whatever you believe/practice. 

In our family it's complex, I'm a witch/pagan not Wicca per se - I don't do well with all the showy fluff & stuff, it makes me think of the Craft which drives medizzy.gif    DH was raised Jewish (reformed), but is super relaxed to the point of almost nonpracticing.  He likes Yom Kippur & Hanukkah and that's about it.   His family - about the same in their faith, my family roman catholic, but relaxed roman catholics. I was made to go to church, receive the sacraments up to confirmation and then I could do what I wanted with regards to my faith.  My parents are OK with the pagan idea - sort of, in that  they respect it for me, but don't understand it. It's been fun trying to weave it all together.winky.gif

 

Public vs. private - I'm infusing my house with my spiritual beliefs.  Such as I'm always adding more plants/herbs, little alters, candles, crystals, chimes, my giant buddha head on the mantle or the little calaveras which are hung around a hallway door (I just need to frame them).  I'm looking for more (from garage sales & thrift) to slowly bring into my home & garden area and which fits with us as a family.   DH is more comfortable in sharing, and unfortunately overshares with folks about my beliefs.  It makes for twitchy situations sometimes.  MY house though is my space and is reflective of my beliefs mostly, with some jewish twists thrown in for fun!

 

Public - I don't discuss my beliefs with folks who might not be of an open mind, and stick to neutral topics.  Work I would never discuss it, though hearing about patients from some of the drs I work with,  I do say a little blessing to myself and send it out to that person.  My office though is a small reflection of my beliefs I have a mobile of the sun/moon & stars, some beautiful elephant bookends which are some of my favorite animals and represent a lot to me (wisdom, strength, gentleness, motherly love), sticks of incense and soon some plants (to grow in my semi dark office), finally a lush green forest landscape on my wallpaper (for my computer).  
 

 

 


treehugger.gifAnd you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.treehugger.gif

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