I want to arrange family meeting with my Mom, sister, and Dad. To speak with him. I will advise I am an adult and love him dearly and I need my space. He needs to go home. My Dad is passively, emotionally manipulative. But he does have some health issues which do not impede his ability to live alone. This is crazy I feel horrible like I'm killing someone, but I cry and feel uncomfortable all the time in my own home. I had initially thought to tell him I want space for Lent. Truth is I need space and time for my life. I can't attract a mate as there's no room for him in my life. Does anyone have a similar situation? Know of one? Can offer any advise? I feel horrible but I can't do ths anymore. Feels like a weird horrible breakup...and that's saying alot. I don't want Dad to feel abandoned.He has to go.
I would like to recommend a book to you:
Toxic Parents, by Susan Forward
Whether or not you think your father is toxic (from what you say, it sounds like it, though) the book will help you to disengage and stand up to him.
The reason you're having a hard time with this is because of your relationship with your father. If this were just some guy barging into your life, you would have told him off long ago and it never would have gotten to this point. The problem is, the respect you are showing to your father (not wanting to upset or uproot him) is not being mirrored back to you. This continues an unhealthy dynamic - one that's bad for BOTH of you.
Anyway, the book I mentioned is recommended all the time, it's not just a random book off the self-help shelf. It's a landmark work. It will probably be at your library, if book-buying funds are limited.
Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.
Thank you again for the suggestion it is accepted graciously.