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#1 of 80 Old 02-01-2013, 04:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello all!

 

candle.gifHappy Imbolc to all that celebrate it!candle.gif

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#2 of 80 Old 02-01-2013, 05:06 PM
 
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BLESSED IMBOLC!  

 

This week was insane - doing our celebrating tomorrow.  I could not maintain today!! haha.  


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#3 of 80 Old 02-01-2013, 05:12 PM
 
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Ye Gods, February already?

 

Tomorrow night is our public Imbolc ritual. I have done this one a few years in a row, and I love it!

 

DS has been an absolute BEAST today. Beast, I tell you. I sent him to his room and there he will stay. I have had quite enough. Tomorrow and Sunday better be better, or he will have hell to pay.

 

I started a new abstract art class today. It was fun! I think it's the first time I've ever done art (aside from when I was little) that had no pressure, no obligations, nothing attached, it wasn't a gift I was pressured into giving, isn't for a grade. Oh, and no attachment to the outcome-- it was about the process. I created an 18x24 piece of....something. In black and white. With acrylic paint and charcoal, on a background of poster board. And I like what I created! orngbiggrin.gif

 

Flossie-- somehow that was not my idea. I can't remember *how* that came about.


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#4 of 80 Old 02-01-2013, 06:25 PM
 
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We don't really observe imbolc though dd is excited to see what Phil says. Not sure why I am not called to do an imbolc ritual but I'll trust it.

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#5 of 80 Old 02-02-2013, 10:19 AM
 
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Happy Imbolc!

 

My friend and I are taking the kids to the park for our Imbolc ritual after we make some rolled beeswax candles. We may do a Starhawk Imbolc blessing on the kids before we go and then do a quick circle at the park. Part of me hopes someone asks what we're doing and part of me doesn't... How introverted shall I be today... 

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#6 of 80 Old 02-02-2013, 11:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

Ye Gods, February already?

 

Tomorrow night is our public Imbolc ritual. I have done this one a few years in a row, and I love it!

 

DS has been an absolute BEAST today. Beast, I tell you. I sent him to his room and there he will stay. I have had quite enough. Tomorrow and Sunday better be better, or he will have hell to pay.

 

I started a new abstract art class today. It was fun! I think it's the first time I've ever done art (aside from when I was little) that had no pressure, no obligations, nothing attached, it wasn't a gift I was pressured into giving, isn't for a grade. Oh, and no attachment to the outcome-- it was about the process. I created an 18x24 piece of....something. In black and white. With acrylic paint and charcoal, on a background of poster board. And I like what I created! orngbiggrin.gif

 

Flossie-- somehow that was not my idea. I can't remember *how* that came about.

Love hearing about your public rituals.  So very cool.  

 

Envious of your abstract art class.  I actually focused enough to get a piece done last month.  It was for a show, so like you said there was some attachment.  I love process art and miss, so much, taking art classes!  Maybe I will sign up for one this spring!  It's like yoga... I could do it at home, I know how and have the supplies...but I just never do unless I have a commitment to a class.  What a terd I am!!

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We don't really observe imbolc though dd is excited to see what Phil says. Not sure why I am not called to do an imbolc ritual but I'll trust it.

Always best to follow your instincts, right?  I just knew that yesterday I would begrudgingly celebrate so this evening we can totally get into it!  i just dug up some dirt from our garden, no small feat with 5 inches of permafrost.  Somehow that in itself was a beautiful ritual for me.  Knowing that beneath the surface my garden dirt is still there, slumbering, getting energy ready for spring.  You all know I am in love with my garden, right?  love.gif

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Happy Imbolc!

 

My friend and I are taking the kids to the park for our Imbolc ritual after we make some rolled beeswax candles. We may do a Starhawk Imbolc blessing on the kids before we go and then do a quick circle at the park. Part of me hopes someone asks what we're doing and part of me doesn't... How introverted shall I be today... 

That seems to be my ever-present question.  I'm a Libra, so outgoing by nature but I also need that balance of alone, introverted time.  I always wonder when I go out in the world how I will react.  Always I am pleasant but some days I'm a bouncy ball of energy and other's I'm like a smiling pile of molasses.  I hope it was a blast and please, if you feel comfortable, share how it went!  


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#7 of 80 Old 02-02-2013, 03:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by vydalea View PostIt's like yoga... I could do it at home, I know how and have the supplies...but I just never do unless I have a commitment to a class.  What a terd I am!!

 

I'm a Libra, so outgoing by nature but I also need that balance of alone, introverted time.

 

I am exactly the same way, though, vydalea. I have the talent, I have supplies, but I would never do art without a class. At least, right now I won't.

 

I'm a Scorpio. I am exactly the same. Explain that? lol.gif


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#8 of 80 Old 02-02-2013, 08:14 PM
 
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We took a snowshoeing class today! Lots of fun. Then we went and had lamb meatballs for dinner. Yum!
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#9 of 80 Old 02-03-2013, 05:31 AM
 
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We have flowers coming up...and there's a dusting of snow.  62 degrees one day, 22 the next.  Nature is getting confused.


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#10 of 80 Old 02-03-2013, 05:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by philomom View PostWe took a snowshoeing class today! Lots of fun. Then we went and had lamb meatballs for dinner. Yum!

 

 

I am way too physically lazy to do something like that anymore. I think part of it is my father's insistence on us all getting up at the crack of dawn to take as much advantage of our season ski pass as possible irked.gif All I wanted to do is get up lacadaisically, go to the ski place, meet boys. All my mom wanted to do was sit in the lodge by the fire. But no, we had to all get out on the slopes. Grrr. My dad and my brother loved it. I didn't mind skiing so much-- I just wanted to do it at MY pace, but my father had control issues.

I am maybe ready to try lamb again. I love gyros. Haven't had them in ages and ages. M grew up on leg of lamb. I dunno. Maybe I will try it.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View PostWe have flowers coming up...and there's a dusting of snow.  62 degrees one day, 22 the next.  Nature is getting confused.

 

Think? I saw daffodils the other day. They are coming up in my yard, too, AND tulips, but I saw the daffodil yellow heads in someone else's yard! And it's flurrying today. Finally! But it'll be gone by tomorrow and back into the 50s again. Here in the NC mountains, spring is generally here shortly after Imbolc greensad.gif

 

Lovely ritual last night, though. Did y'all know that Brigid made it to Haiti? She had Her crone/death aspect there. The Irish women were brought to Haiti to be slaves, and right alongside the African women. It kind of got blended. She is/was a gatekeeper for cemeteries, too. Along with Her other aspects in other countries. She seems almost as far-reaching as Isis maybe!


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#11 of 80 Old 02-03-2013, 06:26 AM
 
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I love reading what you all are doing. Perhaps it would be good to do a ritual today/tonight with DD since DH will be going out to watch the Super Bowl. *yawn* so we will have some super home time. Though I was planning on folding laundry. Any cleaver way to tie the 2 together? ;-)
The digging up earth sounds good and I have actually been called to do it for another reason, so I could put those 2 together. Yes perhaps.

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#12 of 80 Old 02-03-2013, 06:57 AM
 
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Think? I saw daffodils the other day. They are coming up in my yard, too, AND tulips, but I saw the daffodil yellow heads in someone else's yard! And it's flurrying today. Finally! But it'll be gone by tomorrow and back into the 50s again. Here in the NC mountains, spring is generally here shortly after Imbolc greensad.gif

 

Yes, we've had both daffodils and snow flurries for the last couple weeks!  (I think with global warming, NJ's climate is getting to be more and more like NC's was a decade ago...) 

 

Lovely ritual last night, though. Did y'all know that Brigid made it to Haiti? She had Her crone/death aspect there. The Irish women were brought to Haiti to be slaves, and right alongside the African women. It kind of got blended. She is/was a gatekeeper for cemeteries, too. Along with Her other aspects in other countries. She seems almost as far-reaching as Isis maybe!

 

Okay, as a "second degree" initiate in Haitian Vodou, may I provide a bit of feedback on this? smile.gif 

This belief that St. Brigid = Maman Brijit is a controversial one among Vodou houses.  (The most public online figure who promotes this theory has a LONG history of bickering with other houngans and mambos about it... and that's ALL I'm going to say on that topic.)  orngbiggrin.gif 

 

My own godmother does not subscribe to this theory, and in fact, our societe uses an image of St. Mary Magdalene (the one with the skull, where she's supposed to be mourning the death of Jesus) to represent Maman Brijit. 

 

That being said, I do find it interesting that Imbolc/Candlemas/February 2 is also one of the feasts of Oya, who IS the cemetery gatekeeper in a completely different African tradition (Ocha/"Santeria", not Haitian Vodou.)  But our societe does not believe that Oya and Brijit are "the same spirit with different names", either.  

Hope I'm not sounding contrary, I just saw a point where I might be able to add some content to the discussion!! smile.gif

 

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Well, that is interesting.

 

I'm not disputing any of it-- yours or theirs. I just find it interesting that Brigit found her way to Haiti, in whatever capacity. I had no idea. I had no idea she had a death guise, either. There were her normal ritualy things, but this was added this year, and different.

 

At least "controversial" doesn't mean "Not". Just that there are differing opinions smile.gif Which is a good thing, right?

 

Where in NJ are you? I am originally from NJ. Do you know Denville? That's my hometown. Though it is VERY different from when I grew up there!


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#14 of 80 Old 02-04-2013, 11:33 AM
 
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At least "controversial" doesn't mean "Not". Just that there are differing opinions Which is a good thing, right?

Absolutely! :) We have a saying, "There is no Pope of Vodou"... however your own societe does it, is the way that's right for your societe. (What annoys me is when people - NOT you, Maiasaura - set themselves up as "Internet Vodou Experts" and INSIST that their house's way is the ONLY right one... ahem. I'm sure that happens in other spiritual paths too!!)

 

Where in NJ are you? I am originally from NJ. Do you know Denville? That's my hometown. Though it is VERY different from when I grew up there!

We are in Essex County. I have not been to Denville - which county is it in? How has it changed since you grew up? :)

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#15 of 80 Old 02-04-2013, 01:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by glassesgirlnj View Post (What annoys me is when people - NOT you, Maiasaura - set themselves up as "Internet Vodou Experts" and INSIST that their house's way is the ONLY right one... ahem. I'm sure that happens in other spiritual paths too!!)

 

Where in NJ are you? I am originally from NJ. Do you know Denville? That's my hometown. Though it is VERY different from when I grew up there!

 

We are in Essex County. I have not been to Denville - which county is it in? How has it changed since you grew up? :)

 

 

Right? You betcha it happens in other spiritual paths. Pagan ones. What I hate is at gatherings of Pagans, I mean just about every single time I go, there is a conversation that is about What Christians Do (nicely) or just general Christian-bashing (not nicely at all). Why be Pagan and talk about Christianity? headscratch.gif

 

Well, about Denville-- I am 53yo, for one, so I grew up there in the 60s and 70s. EVERYwhere is different since then, but for one-- there was an old pharmacy in the center of town-- I think it's still there, but now there is a big ol' Starbucks right across the street from it irked.gif I guess-- it was this kind of Mayberry sort of place and now it's got all the modern places like GNC peppering the downtown area. Oh, it's in Morris County.


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#16 of 80 Old 02-04-2013, 03:04 PM
 
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Why be Pagan and talk about Christianity?

From my understanding much of euro centric paganism is the foundation of Christianity. I think as a pagan it is important to know where we have influence and where we were oppressed by it. (loosely using "we" here)
I think it is often from the Christian dominance/victim hood most people bash Christianity. I personally have shifted from bashing the religion to embracing it as another way to see divine truth and light in the world. (we have a saying in my parts "take what serves you and leave the rest").
I don't spend a lot of time regurgitating my pains from oppression in christianity now except when dealing with zealous converters who try to shame you because of not believing in their sect of Christianity. (like my grandmother, sister and her choosen mother)
Most of the time I try to just enjoy that people are using their hearts to project love into the world.


I was really popping in to say I read one of the stories from circle round last night to DD and she loved it!!! It was a good easy way to talk about imbolc with her and not be all crazy with ritual. We also did a "goddess tubby" (candles, music, glitter, bubbles....) which is one of our favorite rituals. She's getting too big (as am I) for us both to fit in the tub anymore but she does them one her own too. (would love a chance to do one by myself).

Anyhow thanks for the prompt to do something - I like adding new traditions.

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#17 of 80 Old 02-05-2013, 07:07 AM
 
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Why be Pagan and talk about Christianity?

From my understanding much of euro centric paganism is the foundation of Christianity. I think as a pagan it is important to know where we have influence and where we were oppressed by it. (loosely using "we" here)
I think it is often from the Christian dominance/victim hood most people bash Christianity. I personally have shifted from bashing the religion to embracing it as another way to see divine truth and light in the world. (we have a saying in my parts "take what serves you and leave the rest").
I don't spend a lot of time regurgitating my pains from oppression in christianity now except when dealing with zealous converters who try to shame you because of not believing in their sect of Christianity. (like my grandmother, sister and her choosen mother)
Most of the time I try to just enjoy that people are using their hearts to project love into the world.


I was really popping in to say I read one of the stories from circle round last night to DD and she loved it!!! It was a good easy way to talk about imbolc with her and not be all crazy with ritual. We also did a "goddess tubby" (candles, music, glitter, bubbles....) which is one of our favorite rituals. She's getting too big (as am I) for us both to fit in the tub anymore but she does them one her own too. (would love a chance to do one by myself).

Anyhow thanks for the prompt to do something - I like adding new traditions.

 

Perfectly understandable. But that's not the kind of Christian-talk I mean...I wish I could explain better online! I guess, when I go to a Pagan event, I want to talk Goddess. Out in the rest of the world, I have no problem discussing other religions (or any other topic). I mean...I do go to Christian services sometimes, and I never hear them talking about Pagans. Ever. It's just weird, to me. When in Rome, and all that. At a Pagan event I want to be Pagan and not think about other kinds of religions.

 

And OH yeah, yes, ITA about <<embracing it as another way to see divine truth and light in the world>>. I do that, too.

Also I am an alkie in recovery, and in AA we use the same phrase, almost-- "take what you like, and leave the rest".

Goddess tubby! LOVE it! Oh, love it. That is just freaking awesome energy.gif heartbeat.gif
I am going to have Goddess tubbies now! How do you do glitter in the tub? With the bubbles? Do you get bubbles with glitter? Where? I prefer to think of glitter as Fairy Dust orngbiggrin.gif I have eyeshadow with glitter, body glitter....lurve.


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#18 of 80 Old 02-05-2013, 07:31 AM
 
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Goddess tubby! LOVE it! Oh, love it. That is just freaking awesome energy.gifheartbeat.gif
I am going to have Goddess tubbies now! How do you do glitter in the tub? With the bubbles? Do you get bubbles with glitter? Where? I prefer to think of glitter as Fairy Dust orngbiggrin.gif I have eyeshadow with glitter, body glitter....lurve.   - we sprinkle the glitter aka fairy dust over the bubbles (only because we use this natural bubble bath stuff so finding it with glitter would be near impossible). Sometimes when we want to clean a mess we add herbs and flowers to the tubby as well.

 

 

I kind of get just wanting to be a pagan, I go to several pagan gatherings and find most of the talk regarding christianity to be an augmentation to the conversation. I also attend UU services and Sufi Universal Worships - and often I hear reference to the Goddess tradition or Pagan traditions during the services.... 


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#19 of 80 Old 02-05-2013, 10:35 AM
 
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Happy Imbolc!

 

My friend and I are taking the kids to the park for our Imbolc ritual after we make some rolled beeswax candles. We may do a Starhawk Imbolc blessing on the kids before we go and then do a quick circle at the park. Part of me hopes someone asks what we're doing and part of me doesn't... How introverted shall I be today... 

 

So did anyone ask?

 

I'm pretty introverted and as much as I like to gab about religion with like-minded individuals, unless I know others feel the same way, I like to keep it pretty private.

 

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I was really popping in to say I read one of the stories from circle round last night to DD and she loved it!!! It was a good easy way to talk about imbolc with her and not be all crazy with ritual. We also did a "goddess tubby" (candles, music, glitter, bubbles....) which is one of our favorite rituals. She's getting too big (as am I) for us both to fit in the tub anymore but she does them one her own too. (would love a chance to do one by myself).

Anyhow thanks for the prompt to do something - I like adding new traditions.

 

That sounds lovely. What music did you use? My husband has banned glitter from the house. He calls it, "fairy sh!t." Okay, okay, I will admit that sometimes the crafts in our house that involve glitter end up with glitter all over the house and even though it's been a month since we last used glitter, I still find glitter on stuff...

 

When we redo the bathroom, I've decided that we will get a huge bathtub even though it'll mean tearing down a wall to expand the bathroom. I have two kids in the bathtub with me all the time (not comfortably but my kids wouldn't bathe at all if I didn't let them in my bath), and even once I no longer have littles in the house, I'd love to comfortably fit in the bathtub with my partner. I love love love baths and water...if only I could convince my husband to let me have a swimming pool...

 

We've had light snows, but this was our first snow this year with enough snow to go sledding! (Yup, Imbolc is definitely the middle of winter here!) Too bad my almost three year old is not a fan of sledding. He much rather shovel snow into his dump truck so he can dump it all on my shoveled driveway. Ha.

 

Waiting to test to see if I'm pregnant. Not being very chill about it. We've been trying for almost a year, and with all the losses, I find it difficult to resist obsessing.

 

Already thinking about our vernal equinox celebration. It's one of my favorite holidays. I can't wait!


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#20 of 80 Old 02-05-2013, 10:53 AM
 
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That sounds lovely. What music did you use? I have a mix of all kinds of music, mostly a bunch of Kellianna, Shawana Carol, Shining Wheel Pagan Chorus, Sweet Honey and the Rock, Drumming, the Nields, .... really ecclectic! My husband has banned glitter from the house. He calls it, "fairy sh!t." We refer to it as the herpes of the art world... and have come to terms with it being lots of unexpected places.....

 

When we redo the bathroom, I've decided that we will get a huge bathtub even though it'll mean tearing down a wall to expand the bathroom. I have two kids in the bathtub with me all the time (not comfortably but my kids wouldn't bathe at all if I didn't let them in my bath), and even once I no longer have littles in the house, I'd love to comfortably fit in the bathtub with my partner. I love love love baths and water...if only I could convince my husband to let me have a swimming pool...  I would love a large tub too, I had an above ground pool as a kid. one year my dad got a bonus/retro pay or maybe a settlement from an accident he was in.... and asked us all if we wanted to take a vaction (because we never had taken one) or if we wanted to get a pool. All of us kids agreed POOL!!!! I do however have a claw food tub so bigger than the standard tub for sure!!

 

We've had light snows, but this was our first snow this year with enough snow to go sledding! (Yup, Imbolc is definitely the middle of winter here!) Too bad my almost three year old is not a fan of sledding. He much rather shovel snow into his dump truck so he can dump it all on my shoveled driveway. Ha.  I really wish we had more snow here!!!

 

Waiting to test to see if I'm pregnant. Not being very chill about it. We've been trying for almost a year, and with all the losses, I find it difficult to resist obsessing.  Best of luck, I've been there before. Sometimes I still get balled up with fear that maybe this bean wont stick. Certainly a hard process of trust ans surrender. Funny I didn't know what would be worse a negative test or a positive one when testing this time around.

 

Already thinking about our vernal equinox celebration. It's one of my favorite holidays. I can't wait!  I do enjoy it as well, so much promise and renewal... all the life growing from the "death" cycle.  And milk and eggs at the farm again.... chicken3.gif


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#21 of 80 Old 02-05-2013, 06:52 PM
 
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Our ritual went great!! We (me, my bestie, her two daughters age 6 and 7, and my son age 3.5) all got together and rolled the natural beeswax candles. Then everyone wrote down what they wanted to do for the year (DS said he wanted to fight bad guys with swords...) and rolled up the paper into seeds and planted them into a little pie pan full of dirt. Then we stuck the homemade candles in and did a little circle where we all faced each of the directions and grabbed all the earth energy and 'threw' it onto the altar (we had to do something energetic to keep everyone's attention) and then we lit element candles and then the light garden candles. Then we stuck the kids on a blanket on the floor while the two mamas walked around in a circle with our own lit candles and then a jar of water (from the Monterey Bay) to do the Imbolc blessing from Circle Round. 

Then we went to the park and walked the labyrinth and in the middle did a short little chant to invoke Brigit and then the kids played on the playground while bestie and I did tarot readings for each other. Afterward, we went home and had warm honeyed milk for a dessert while we talked about Brigit and what she means. 

 

Nobody asked about what we were doing, but there was a woman sitting on a wall in the labyrinth doing Christian history research. She had a bible out and everything and was on the phone with someone talking about Pharisees. I was giggling slightly to myself... Who knows what she thought... 

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#22 of 80 Old 02-06-2013, 05:58 AM
 
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That sounds like a wonderful Imbolc! I like the impromptu energy-raising. I think y'all put all that energy into the seeds for growing smile.gif

 

I just planted some lettuce and onion seeds in those little peat pots, yesterday.


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#23 of 80 Old 02-08-2013, 12:23 AM
 
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I loved reading about everyone's Imbolc celebrations and rituals!

We're in Klamath Falls, staying with DHs grandma. At first I loved it, shortly thereafter I started longing for my own space and bed and place to put things, now I'm so so tired of grandma bossing me around! I'll admit that I'm sensitive because my mum is so critical and her bossing has double meanings, but grandma mashing up DDs peaches for me without asking when I was giving her breakfast and telling me to watch DD when she leaves the room grates on my nerves. It makes me feel like she thinks I'm not a good mom. I'm all, I've kept her alive this long! DH assured me that if grandma told him that she thinks I'm a great mom.
I just really really hate being told what to do. Always hated it. I get that she's the matriarch of the family and does it because she cares. My grandma isn't bossy at all

Sorry for the unloading and venting. Just wanted to check in. DH has a couple interviews in Seattle and that's looking most likely.

DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
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#24 of 80 Old 02-08-2013, 10:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Kaydove View Postbut grandma mashing up DDs peaches for me without asking when I was giving her breakfast and telling me to watch DD when she leaves the room grates on my nerves. It makes me feel like she thinks I'm not a good mom. I'm all, I've kept her alive this long!

 

I bet she doesn't even notice she's doing it. Have you said anything? Perhaps you could say something in a really kind way...like "Grandma, I bet you didn't realize it, but I keep hearing you tell me how to do things with my dd. I'd love your help, but please let me do things unless I ask first?" No...that sounds contentious...but you get the idea maybe?

 

The dishwasher guy is at my house right now, replacing the sink handle hot/cold thingy. And he got me some stuff to flush the drain with and the vent thingy on the roof, and some dishwasher cleaning tablets. Cross fingers all this stuff solves the problems!

 

All y'all in the north east....hunker down and be safe, K?


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#25 of 80 Old 02-09-2013, 12:04 AM
 
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Kay - I hope the interviews go well. My mother can act like that. I try to ignore it, but I don't live with her. I hope you get a new housing situation soon!

 

Maia - I hope all your repairs went well.

 

Me: Looking forward to the new moon. We set new goals on the new moon. My eldest has been absolutely horrid lately: pushing other kids on the bus for school; kicking, hitting, spitting, calling her father, brother, and me at home over nothing. (Seriously, we had an epic fight this morning, because she ate the last cheese stick and was furious that she didn't have one for her lunch today.) I haven't been as gentle as I want, and I'm trying to commit myself to work on being more gentle this moon cycle (rereading The Explosive Child), while hoping she wants to commit to chilling the frack out.


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#26 of 80 Old 02-09-2013, 06:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by revolting View PostMe: Looking forward to the new moon. We set new goals on the new moon. My eldest has been absolutely horrid lately: pushing other kids on the bus for school; kicking, hitting, spitting, calling her father, brother, and me at home over nothing. (Seriously, we had an epic fight this morning, because she ate the last cheese stick and was furious that she didn't have one for her lunch today.) I haven't been as gentle as I want, and I'm trying to commit myself to work on being more gentle this moon cycle (rereading The Explosive Child), while hoping she wants to commit to chilling the frack out.

 

Good gracious, revolting, my morning is freaking beastly, too. AND, I didn't sleep all that well because I let ds crawl in with me and he is so freaking squirmy. I am a righteous bitch today, sorry for the language, I am PISSED. And it's Saturday and I have a whole two days with ds irked.gif I can't stand that I feel like this about my own child, half the time. We met a new friend last  night-- another single mom of a boy with ADHD who just moved into town. She got her boy off meds-- I do not know how. Mine is like Jekyll and Hyde, on them and off. I hate the first and last hour of the day so much anymore that I want to just give him up during those times, I kid you not, it is just horrible bawling.gif And I used to love morning so much. It's (or, it was) such a sacred time of the day.


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#27 of 80 Old 02-09-2013, 08:40 AM
 
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Good gracious, revolting, my morning is freaking beastly, too. AND, I didn't sleep all that well because I let ds crawl in with me and he is so freaking squirmy. I am a righteous bitch today, sorry for the language, I am PISSED. And it's Saturday and I have a whole two days with ds irked.gif I can't stand that I feel like this about my own child, half the time. We met a new friend last  night-- another single mom of a boy with ADHD who just moved into town. She got her boy off meds-- I do not know how. Mine is like Jekyll and Hyde, on them and off. I hate the first and last hour of the day so much anymore that I want to just give him up during those times, I kid you not, it is just horrible bawling.gif And I used to love morning so much. It's (or, it was) such a sacred time of the day.

hug2.gif your doing a good job- my little one has been in my hair big time, I have no patience for her at all!!! ugh poor little one is only 4.5... Im a miserable bitch when preggos at times- I can sooooo relate.

 

I didn't do yoga today because of the driving ban but tonight I am going to the Red Tent and really don't care if we get another blizzard (only about 10-12 inches here.... can you tell I was born and raised in New England when I say only 10-12 inches ROTFLMAO.gif).

 

Cannot wait for Red Tent tonight. and to get out of the house and be with people besides my DD and DH (dh has really been trying, I give him credit, I am not an easy goddess though I have been working on inviting more love, gentleness and kindness into my life... but my "destruction" power is sometimes more than even I can handle.)


hang.gif  WOHMama to dust.gifDD (July 2008) and coolshine.gif DS (May 2013); wife to DH sleepytime.gif.

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#28 of 80 Old 02-09-2013, 10:09 AM
 
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hug2.gif your doing a good job- my little one has been in my hair big time, I have no patience for her at all!!! ugh poor little one is only 4.5... Im a miserable bitch when preggos at times- I can sooooo relate.

 

I didn't do yoga today because of the driving ban but tonight I am going to the Red Tent and really don't care if we get another blizzard (only about 10-12 inches here.... can you tell I was born and raised in New England when I say only 10-12 inches ROTFLMAO.gif).

 

Cannot wait for Red Tent tonight. and to get out of the house and be with people besides my DD and DH (dh has really been trying, I give him credit, I am not an easy goddess though I have been working on inviting more love, gentleness and kindness into my life... but my "destruction" power is sometimes more than even I can handle.)

 

Wait'll she's 12 and hormonal angry.gif


He ended up driving me to tears, it was that bad gloomy.gif I have recently started having higher blood pressure greensad.gif I do not know why; it's been a pretty consistent 110/70 my whole life; now it's more like 140/82ish. I took out the electronic BP cuff to show ds what it looked like after all that. 140-something over 88 greensad.gif I am really scared of my BP now. DS knows it's "the silent killer" and that I am his only family. If something happened to me, I told him, he would have to go live with his Nana, which he was NOT pleased about. He loves her, but I said you know she would be way stricter than me.

 

Thank you for the hug. I needed it happytears.gif

 

We're probably meeting our new friends at the park this afternoon. It's 47* and sunny and likely to get warmer by 10* (not gloating, srsly, I would rather be snowed in right now, too) and I am so defeated and tired and exhausted by ds's behavior that I just want to go back and hide under the covers, but I know I need to get out and maybe walk. I know it would do me good, both for my BP and my mood.

M can't even get out his back door, there is so much snow. Go look at the pix on CNN.com! 47 really wild photos.

 


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#29 of 80 Old 02-09-2013, 10:30 AM
 
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I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I'm really down today because I feel totally isolated with DS again. I feel like I have PTSD from his first year of life when I was alone so much so often and so exhausted trying to make breastfeeding work (we had invisible thrush for six months and I didn't know what was going on). And so now every time DH leaves to do something else (today it's homework, last weekend it was snowboarding) I just feel so depressed and alone. My son is high energy, but not a truly difficult child so I always feel bad that I have such a hard time with it. 

And I'm also trying to let go of the feeling that the church I grew up in is why I had a child in the first place. I feel like my choices were not really my own because of the intense cultural pressure and I don't quite know how to let go of that resentment or just ENJOY being his mommy. I've been trying to design a ritual but my heart hasn't been in it. Anyway. Just having a lonely day. 

Hugs for you guys having the really hard problems with the kids and hugs for every single mother--I don't know how you do it and I respect you very much.

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#30 of 80 Old 02-09-2013, 01:13 PM
 
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There must be something going on in the Universe for so many of us to be struggling! Anyone know astrology well?

DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
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