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#61 of 72 Old 03-25-2013, 08:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Maia - I don't know if being a ward of the state is worse than having guardians who have a history of abandoning children in their care. At least the state will provide you with food, housing, and clothing until you are 21, 5 years longer than my in-laws felt obligated to provide that for my partner. That said, in my state, you don't necessarily end up a ward of the state. Instead, the government appointd a guardian. My parents are lawyers and have previously expressed a desire to be the guardian of my kids if we died, so I'm hoping they'd fight for custody. I hate not knowing what would happen to them.

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#62 of 72 Old 03-25-2013, 05:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by revolting View Post

Maia - I don't know if being a ward of the state is worse than having guardians who have a history of abandoning children in their care. At least the state will provide you with food, housing, and clothing until you are 21, 5 years longer than my in-laws felt obligated to provide that for my partner. That said, in my state, you don't necessarily end up a ward of the state. Instead, the government appointd a guardian. My parents are lawyers and have previously expressed a desire to be the guardian of my kids if we died, so I'm hoping they'd fight for custody. I hate not knowing what would happen to them.

 

Geez, that bad? How come your dh wants them, then? I can see defending your parents, but that degree of denial (for him) is...wow. I hope y'all can get through it. I still think it's important to have the will, though, and maybe just leave options (like several choices).


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#63 of 72 Old 03-27-2013, 01:44 PM
 
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Thanks for the reassurance! I finally got tons of kisses yesterday so I think she's forgiven me. Man, molars are a bitch! She's 13 months.
On a happier note, I got her a little potty yesterday and she's peed in it 4/6 times I've put her on it since yesterday! We did EC somewhat when she was younger so she still remembers the cueing noise. I just take her every time I go potty and we go together. She's having fun with it too!

DH is interviewing as I type until 3pm pst so if you think about it send good thoughts our way. I found a little magick store here and bought a green prosperity candle and a little heart candle holder and lit it when he started interviewing. It only lasted 3 hours. :/
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#64 of 72 Old 03-28-2013, 02:19 PM
 
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Hello, all! It's been AGES since I've been on here. It's good to see everyone!

I've dealt with ppd and anxiety, crises of faith, health horrors, financial woes, and marital strife, but I made my way back. I even dusted off some old books to study. Has anyone read A Witch Alone? I'm about to start it. I've given up on the idea of ever having a community or group like I did in North Carolina and I'm dreadfully lonely. That's saying something with how introverted I am, but it's hard to be surrounded by people who would hate you if they actually knew you. And I want to teach my kids about my beliefs, but I know that if I do here, we will be complete pariahs and lose the little social interaction we currently have. IT SUCKS! I've been trying to get dh to apply for jobs, but this house needs so much work before we could sell it, and we just don't have the money!! In other words, I know what's going on my Treasure Map!

A few inquiries:
Ideas for a good oil/herb blend for beating anxiety?
Pagan friendly books for approaching mid-life with grace? I'm not transitioning so well knowing I'm done with childbearing.

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#65 of 72 Old 03-29-2013, 01:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kaydove View PostMan, molars are a bitch!
On a happier note, I got her a little potty yesterday and she's peed in it 4/6 times I've put her on it since yesterday! We did EC somewhat when she was younger so she still remembers the cueing noise. I just take her every time I go potty and we go together. She's having fun with it too!

DH is interviewing as I type until 3pm pst so if you think about it send good thoughts our way. I found a little magick store here and bought a green prosperity candle and a little heart candle holder and lit it when he started interviewing. It only lasted 3 hours. :/

 

How did your DH's interview go?

 

"Potty noise"-- we didn't do EC but are you referring to you going "Sssssssssss"? ROTFLMAO.gif I had to do that to get ds to start peeing when I held him on the potty. Even when he was older and got on the potty his ownself, I had to do that. There's something primal about hearing that. He was WAY too distracted otherwise, to just let go and pee.

 

Molars....wait'll wisdom teeth! I think I was 26 when I had to have those pulled. All of a sudden I commiserated with the poor babies that were cutting teeth!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittywitty View PostI've dealt with ppd and anxiety, crises of faith, health horrors, financial woes, and marital strife, but I made my way back. I even dusted off some old books to study. Has anyone read A Witch Alone? I'm about to start it. I've given up on the idea of ever having a community or group like I did in North Carolina and I'm dreadfully lonely. That's saying something with how introverted I am, but it's hard to be surrounded by people who would hate you if they actually knew you. And I want to teach my kids about my beliefs, but I know that if I do here, we will be complete pariahs and lose the little social interaction we currently have. IT SUCKS! I've been trying to get dh to apply for jobs, but this house needs so much work before we could sell it, and we just don't have the money!! In other words, I know what's going on my Treasure Map!

A few inquiries:
Ideas for a good oil/herb blend for beating anxiety?
Pagan friendly books for approaching mid-life with grace? I'm not transitioning so well knowing I'm done with childbearing.

 

Oh, hon, HUGE hugs. Good grief, sounds like you have been through the wringer. Where were you in NC again? I got a sweet house STILL for sale if you want to move back! winky.gif Where are you now? That just stinks about feeling like you have to stay in the closet.

 

Anxiety: Lavender, hands-down. Sometimes I just sit there smelling the bottle!

 

Midlife, aren't you really young for midlife? Please do correct me if I'm wrong. I don't know about Pagan books for that...I'm thinking Red Hat sorts of things, though-- growing the NGAS bone and just being free. Dunno.

 

Here's a good one...I turned 53 in November. I re-hooked up with my sweetie (M) in November '09. I had just turned 49 or 50...I was still bleeding like a stuck pig every month like clockwork, and had been celibate for 7-1/2 years so I know I was still fertile as heck... so, I went back on BC pills.

Turns out, in the intervening years, I have stopped ovulating. Altogether. I had my FSH tested.
I have croned, physically, and missed it entirely greensad.gif

Does that happen so soon? In three years only? Ye Gods. I was wondering why, even on the pill, I have been waking up sweating so badly I have to throw the covers off. I can't even imagine what this would be like without hormones. But I am going to stay on the pill till this coming birthday, in November, for my own peace of mind. And then...well, since I still only have a 12yo child, and am smack in the middle of mothering, I dunno if I will have a croning ceremony for a good while yet. Not sure.


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#66 of 72 Old 03-29-2013, 08:03 PM
 
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I'm in IL now. smile.gif. In some ways I'd love to be back in NC. Sigh.

Thank you. Yeah, too young to technically qualify as "crone", but my dh got a vas, so I won't be able to have more babies, and my joint and other issues are already bad enough, that I can't imagine too many years of fine health for myself. I think pregnancy and mothering babies has become so much of my identity that I can't imagine what I am besides that. Now that it's taken away, I'm not quite sure who I am sometimes. Does that make sense? My mom went through menopause by 40, so I know that might not be too far off, either.

I'm sorry that you croned so unexpectedly and fast! How is this 12 year old stage going for you? Mine has suddenly had half her brain fall out, I think!

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#67 of 72 Old 03-29-2013, 09:20 PM
 
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He got the job!!!! Yahoo! We're moving back up to Seattle!!

DD Seraphina born at home on 2/21/2012! 

"Childbirth is more admirable than conquest, more amazing than self-defense, and as courageous as either one."
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#68 of 72 Old 03-30-2013, 02:04 AM
 
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Yay kaydove!!!!

Kittywitty I am still 32 and pregnant so my comments might seem off place, however I work a lot in ceremony/ritual space with women. I believe rites of passage are not just for clear passages, but even more important for the times we are not sure where up or down is. While maybe a croning ceremony isn't right for you (or you Maia) perhaps some ritual to embrace the new turn on the path. I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time finding community (where are you?) It really sucks to be in a place without support especially if you are not the type to create it, introverts are so valuable to our culture, they help to maintain perspective.
Also could you do and blood rituals with your remaining cycles? I wonder if that would help to embrace the next phase?
Oh or how about some clarissa p Estes books? Like running with wolves or any of them really?
Maia I know a woman in my community who is in her 40s and recently named herself in the crone circle- she too has a son who is 12. I think however she has spent many years mentoring in the community and some of her students are now taking on apprentices- so I guess it remains more in the knowing what feels right for you.

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#69 of 72 Old 03-30-2013, 06:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by kittywitty View PostI'm sorry that you croned so unexpectedly and fast! How is this 12 year old stage going for you? Mine has suddenly had half her brain fall out, I think!

 

Well, it's only the physical aspect, but yeah, I am one of those weird ones who does not take cold meds to alleviate symptoms, because I want to know when the symptoms END so I know I am well again! So yeah...I kind of thought I was having hot flashes even during the pills. So now every time it happens, I embrace it rather than grumble.

You have a 12yo too? For me it's....different. I'm working really really hard with him not to be negative-by-default. I know how I was when I was a teen (everything was boring and I hated it all!) so I am trying to work with him to show that everything does not have to suck, kwim? lol.gif I remember thinking that I couldn't change my attitude, that things just were the way they were. And that my attitude was a reaction to things as they were, not that I could change things because  of my attitude. I'm also wondering if that can be learned at 12, because I didn't get it till I was like 40!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View PostHe got the job!!!! Yahoo! We're moving back up to Seattle!!

 

Awesome! Congrats!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by amlikam View PostAlso could you do and blood rituals with your remaining cycles? I wonder if that would help to embrace the next phase?
Oh or how about some clarissa p Estes books? Like running with wolves or any of them really?
Maia I know a woman in my community who is in her 40s and recently named herself in the crone circle- she too has a son who is 12. I think however she has spent many years mentoring in the community and some of her students are now taking on apprentices- so I guess it remains more in the knowing what feels right for you.

 

Since I'm on the pill, I do bleed every month even though I apparently am no longer ovulating...but a couple cycles ago, I smeared some of my moon blood onto my diary page, because I had a feeling it was near to the last of it. So yeah, ritual-- I'm weird that way, too.

 

I'm between croning and mothering. All my mom-peers are like...34 years old. But my age peers are 50ish like me. I don't relate to my age peers very well. I feel 34. Sometimes. Other times, other peoples' 34 feels like 12 to me lol.gif


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#70 of 72 Old 03-31-2013, 02:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kittywitty View Post

Hello, all! It's been AGES since I've been on here. It's good to see everyone!

I've dealt with ppd and anxiety, crises of faith, health horrors, financial woes, and marital strife, but I made my way back. I even dusted off some old books to study. Has anyone read A Witch Alone? I'm about to start it. I've given up on the idea of ever having a community or group like I did in North Carolina and I'm dreadfully lonely. That's saying something with how introverted I am, but it's hard to be surrounded by people who would hate you if they actually knew you. And I want to teach my kids about my beliefs, but I know that if I do here, we will be complete pariahs and lose the little social interaction we currently have. IT SUCKS! I've been trying to get dh to apply for jobs, but this house needs so much work before we could sell it, and we just don't have the money!! In other words, I know what's going on my Treasure Map!

A few inquiries:
Ideas for a good oil/herb blend for beating anxiety?
Pagan friendly books for approaching mid-life with grace? I'm not transitioning so well knowing I'm done with childbearing.

 

Oils/herbs: Lavender, citrus (orange, lemon, grapefruit), parsley, lemongrass, rose - blend into a pleasant smell and add a sprinkle of st. John's wort.

 

Pagan Rites of Passage is great. I got it for use with my kids, but it's good for the whole life cycle.

 

This one looks interesting, but I must admit I haven't read it.

 

From an article I found: "Although traditions vary, it's generally accepted that 49 is the minimum age to be Croned, with some women choosing to wait until they are 55 or older.
Although some believe Croning is done only when a woman crosses the threshold of menopause, a woman doesn't have to necessarily be post-menopausal before her Croning ritual. Some women still bleed into their 60s, and others experience menopause as early as in their 30s because of hysterectomies or other surgeries. Therefore, the timing for the Croning ritual depends more on age and personal readiness than biological factors."

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaydove View Post

He got the job!!!! Yahoo! We're moving back up to Seattle!!

 

Yay! Congrats!

 

 

I have my FB page up and running for my Pagan Children's Books (just look that up and you'll find it if you're interested). I'm so thrilled! I'm doing teasers by releasing portions of the illustrations for hitting X number of likes on the page... thumb.gif I've already got 70!

I've got so many plans, I just wish my finances would be a little more cooperative... kwim?


Check out my business, Pangaia Metaphysical Store, and radio blog, Pagan Musings.
I'm a witchy mama to DS ('06) and DD ('10) with DH, Stormie, a heathen homemaker daddy.

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#71 of 72 Old 04-05-2013, 04:59 PM
 
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Kaydove!  Hooray for the job and keep us posted with the move!!!

 

Wolfcat, I "liked" your FB page.  It looks AMAZING!!! eeek!

 

I started the April thread even though I was totes MIA for the last half of March... http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1381129/pagan-families-in-april

 

unless there is another one somewhere I missed...which is very possible...


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#72 of 72 Old 04-06-2013, 05:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by vydalea View PostI started the April thread even though I was totes MIA for the last half of March... http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1381129/pagan-families-in-april

 

unless there is another one somewhere I missed...which is very possible...

 

Oh, duh....we're all slackers! Off to check it out...


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