First off, I just want to make sure there are no hard feelings. It's totally fine to disagree.
vesper songs~ My dh and I abstain from sex when it seems right to us. We have no desire to get pregnant and we have no desire to NOT get pregnant. Being QF is trusting God with your fertility either way, being neutral, kwim? We do not take my fertility into account at all. What we do consider is just life in general- are the kids asleep, are we up for it, would we rather read together for a while or talk, etc. I'm sure sometimes we abstain when I am fertile, and sometimes when I'm not, but we would never go out of our way to 'try for' or prevent a child. It is all in God's hands.
I see what you mean about predictable cycles. I have a very good friend who used to believe the same thing. But, personaly, I just don't buy it. It doesn't say 'abstain to fast, pray, and when you know you are fertile.' I think we need to trust God with every aspect of our lives, even our wombs.
kama'aina mama~ I guess I don't completely understand what you mean about the diaper. Maybe I shouldn't have compared it to that! If one of us doesn't feel up to having sex, we won't. If in the future, if one of us ever feels like not having another child, we would talk to God about it, but I can't imagine telling him I don't want any more of his blessings, and we would not ever think we would know better than him in this area, or any other. We both want God to be in control of whole lives, fertility included. I think he is doing a great job. We have sex whenever we want with no worries, and we have a 4 year old and a 2 year old (next week!) and I am not pregnant.
I don't think it says to abstain from sex 'as a sacfice.' We are very careful about adding to or taking away from the word of God. It does say we are to get married so we can have sex so we are not tempted, etc. I do not see how it would please God for married people to purposely abstain due to the fact that she is fertile and they are both in the mood, and possibly be tempted, as a sacrifice to him.
As for fasting, yes you need to be awake.
But you do not have times of the month where it is better or worse for you to fast. You can fast anytime. I think it would be silly to plan to abstain from sex when you know you are ovulating, strictly for that reason. God never told us to do that. He told us to be fruitful and multiply, he called periods a 'sickness', and semen 'children', and children 'a blessing'.
I do think God has a different plan for everyone, but he wants everyone to follow the same guidelines- don't kill, etc. And I think trusting him with your fertility is one of those guidelines.
QF is NOT about having many children. It is about leaving the number of children you have up to God. You can be QF your whole life and have one child (or no children at all) and that was God's plan for you. Or you could have two children, or five, or nine. The point is that YOU didn't make that decision for your own human reasons- you left it in God's hands entirely. Just like a friend I have who has been QF since the day she got married and is now getting older and only has three. That was 100% God's choice, not hers. That is QF.
I think Abraham did have desentants like the stars. Desecnants are also grandchildren, great grandchildren... Also, didn't Jesus have two brothes and at least two sisters? But even if Mary only had Jesus, she still could have been QF, and God only gave her one child. Of course she was not a bad wife or Joseph a bad husband! Assuming they were QF, they had no say in how many children they had. That was God's doing so there was nothing bad about it.
I know not everyone agrees with this, but I think it is God's plan for women. Why else would he have made us this way and said the things he said in the Bible? I trust God to know what is best for me in all areas of my life, expessially important areas like children. How can someone think they know better and can make better choices than God?
I think QF is misunderstood- so again, it is not doing *anything* ever to prevent or achieve pregancy. It is leaving it all up to God and taking as many children as he gives, be it zero or be in ten. (You are NOT out to have 100 kids. If you tried to have kids, you would be doing your own will and not leaving it in God's hands, just the same as if you tried NOT to have kids.)
I think there is plenty of scripture to support being QF. I have yet to see any scripture that backs anything otherwise.
edited to add a very important "not"