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Old 08-01-2002, 09:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Not to offend anyone, but I have a question.

For about six months, there has been a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses that keep showing up to my home, typically between 8 and 9 a.m. on Friday mornings. My family typically stays up late so a lot of times, we are still asleep.

I think they got the message the morning I answered the door looking all disheveled and said they would come back another Friday but later in the day.

I really don't want them visiting me anymore. I have my own ideas and beliefs and don't really like the idea of eventually feeling obligated to come into my home so they can share their information. Does anyone know of a polite way that I could tell them that I really don't want them visiting anymore?

Thanks.
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Old 08-01-2002, 09:56 PM
 
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I do not open my door for ANYONE that I do not know! I have a no soliciting sign out front and tell everyone else that I am not interested. If you refuse to open the door they will go away. I just do not feel safe opening my door - even if people look safe. Then again I was attacked by "safe" looking people 7 years ago so I guess that blurrs my views.

I say just stop answering the door to them. Pretend you are not home if you have to.
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Old 08-01-2002, 10:36 PM
 
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What I have said in the past, "Thank you, but we have a church that we attend and that we are very happy with." I also have had friends in the past who were JW and LDS, so I tend to throw that in so they know that I have some familiarity with the churches, etc. They have always left politely after that. Sometimes they still want to give me literature or whatever, which is fine.
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Old 08-02-2002, 11:40 AM
 
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I typically let them know I do not have time but I'll take the literature. I even read it sometimes. It can be interesting.

I have family/friends who share stories about being rude to these folks, and laugh. I don't get it. It's part of their faith to proselytize, and I think that is OK. They are doing it out of love for others, for the most part. I can see that. It's not like they are selling anything. I think, too, if I can be as kind in my refusal as they are insistent in their offer, we can both walk away feeling good about what just happened.

It's good to show that your beliefs--in a Creator or otherwise--have a positive effect on your actions. I know it makes me feel better about people when they are kind to me.
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Old 08-02-2002, 12:15 PM
 
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My MIL is a JW and does go door to door, I have a lot of personal issues but the thing to say is "I've been disfellowshipped" that should take you off the visit list...JW's shouldnt be talking to anyone that is disfellowshipped. Saying you are excommunicated works too.
I once had 2 JW men come to my door I couldnt believe that they had no problem 'being out in service' 2 men in the middle of the day... what woman would open their door to 2 men even if they knew the organizartion they represented?
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Old 08-02-2002, 03:10 PM
 
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I generally do what you do, Ummnuh. I am very polite and say that I am happy to take their literature. The last time I even read it and it was all about peace in the world-it was very good.
If I ever feel pressured to discuss things further I either say we have relatives who are both JW and LDS (which we do), or that I am Roman Catholic (I was raised RC anyway) and that is usually good enough. My experience is that they tend to not want to get into a "dogma" discussion with people who belong to churches with very defined dogmas...does that make any sense???

Anyway, I really believe if you don't want them visiting to either politely say this or don't answer the door. It seems like they would take a polite but firm, "no thank you".

Good luck
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Old 08-03-2002, 05:06 PM
 
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I haven't had this issue in a long time but I did have a period when the same peopel would come every week. I kept askignthem politely to please not return as I had a faith and was not interested in chaning that faith. They never got hte message. It finally came to the point that Even when I called the Kingdom Hall they STILL came to my house. They fianlly stopped when I answered my door in my ritual clothes (I'm a Celtic/Norse Pagan) with my Priest holding the sacred blade to represent the element of Air and my fellow roommates with their various elemental representations (wand, cauldron and censer) and they saw the ritual space set up behind us that they did not return. No it wasn't doen intentionally , they happened to arrive prior to a seasonal ritual that we were expecting other guests for and we thoguht they might be those we expected when we answered the door. AT least they finally stopped at that point. We did not intend to frighten them off but we did - after all they had not respected our requests for 6 months prior to that point.
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Old 08-03-2002, 05:54 PM
 
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You could always answer the door topless!!!! I did that once accidentally ( nursing a baby, forgot I had my shirt open). They never came back. LOL
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Old 08-05-2002, 05:08 AM
 
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Lindy, :LOL

- Amy
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Old 08-05-2002, 04:24 PM
 
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Yammer's is the best way I've ever heard to deal with this! Love it!
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Old 08-06-2002, 05:05 PM
 
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We became the object of their affection recently. My dh and I are very interested in human behavior and belifes so we gave them our time and listend. They came back!!! A wonderful older woman whos disposition is like a calming sea and we did not mind seeing her until she started in with the lessons. We had to to something. I made my dh go out and talk with her (he is so very diplomatic) and kindly said we had our belifes and they were not goignt o change. If she wanted to come by for a visit and we were outside then that would be fine but no more lessons. They have not returned.
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Old 08-06-2002, 05:22 PM
 
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I tell them that I'm busy, but my husband would be happy to discuss what the bible actually says in *Hebrew* rather than a translation. For some reason they've *never* taken us up on that.
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Old 08-07-2002, 02:31 AM
 
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We had a pair of them visiting us for awhile too, every few weeks they would come by. Once I told them I was in the middle of pumping (I was). Another time I answered the door in a towel with my hair dripping. I took their literature and was polite but told them I was busy. My dh had an idea, that the next time they came we would hand them some pamphlets that we had lying around. One was called 10 Beliefs of Every Hindu and another one was Hindu Gods. We had them from our local temple. We also had several backissues of Hinduism Today magazine that were given to us by the publishers to hand out as subscription promotions. Unfortunately they never came back, but I was kinda looking forward to sharing my literature with them as I took what they had to share with me. I mean it's only fair, right?

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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Old 08-07-2002, 04:01 AM
 
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Darshani, awesome ... that is the best idea I've ever heard.

Have "counter-literature."

Thank you thank you thank you. You have just made my summer. And I'm going to spread this idea around, too. (This is more in reference to other proselytizers in my area this time of year than specifically J'Witnesses ... sounds like it'll work any which way ...)



- Amy
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Old 08-07-2002, 03:09 PM
 
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I'm Presbyterian, and I had Baptist visitors last weekend. Not to say anything bad about Baptists, that is just what this group happened to be...

When I explained that I was already a very active member of my own church, the lady started trying to quiz me! She asked if I could name the first five books of the New Testament, the last book of the Old Testament, and the Ten Commandments. She actually seemed a little disappointed when I knew the answers, but I was honestly a little offended that she didn't seem to believe that I might know these things.

When I showed her clearly that I was not going to let her in my house, she asked if she could leave me with some literature. I said yes, trying to be polite, and also because others have left literature and I generally enjoy reading their pamphlets, and when I took them she actually asked me for a donation to help defray the costs of printing. I politely handed the papers back to her and shut the door, gently. To me it was a little over the top to offer something and then ask for a donation, when it was clear I was not really interested in the first place.

Any thoughts?
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Old 08-09-2002, 11:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mommy StormRaven
They fianlly stopped when I answered my door in my ritual clothes (I'm a Celtic/Norse Pagan) with my Priest holding the sacred blade to represent the element of Air and my fellow roommates with their various elemental representations (wand, cauldron and censer) and they saw the ritual space set up behind us that they did not return. No it wasn't doen intentionally , they happened to arrive prior to a seasonal ritual that we were expecting other guests for and we thoguht they might be those we expected when we answered the door. AT least they finally stopped at that point. We did not intend to frighten them off but we did - after all they had not respected our requests for 6 months prior to that point.


What a hoot!! I love it!
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Old 08-10-2002, 02:47 AM
 
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after repeated attempts to gently let them know i had my own faith i answered the door in a huff and then yelled at them about disrepecting me my beliefs and their own beliefs by degrading jesus to the level of being "sold" door to door like a fuller brush or a grade b encyclopedia set. i have never seen them on my doorstep again.
p.s. we have an informal neghborhood watch for them and call each other when they are on the prowl
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Old 08-14-2002, 07:15 PM
 
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I tell them to go do some chairity work and if I was going to join any religious cult it certainly would not be theirs.
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Old 08-15-2002, 10:22 AM
 
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When we are harrassed by JWs, LDS or the like, I'm polite the first time, ask them to respect my privacy, and tell them that I do not wish any contact with whichever cult they happen to belong to.

When they return a second time (and they always do), I tell them exactly why I would not be interested in their religion, going into detail about the various practices and beliefs that I would never buy into.

If they continue to persist, and sometimes they do, I tell them to please get off my property immediately as I need to let my dogs out right now. The dogs are actually very gentle, but they make a huge racket when people come to the door, so by that time the "missionaries" make a speedy exit.

Another tactic that a friend of mine uses is to tell them that after they give you their address, you'd be happy to come to their house at a convenient time for you to inflict your religious beliefs on them.
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Old 08-15-2002, 01:30 PM
 
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When dd was a newborn, it seemed like they were coming once a week, right when I had just got her down after lunch. I was so upset one day because they woke her up. Yes, I disconnected the buzzer, but my dogs bark loudly whenever anyone comes to the door. I answered the door, tired and angry that now they just woke my baby whos been up all night, I dont think they cared. They came back the following week, same time!

I know I should be kinder, but Ive thought of every excuse to get them not to come by in a NICE way, and still they come. To me, that kind of religious fanaticism resulted in 9/11.

Im much more upset about the BOrnAgain fanatics in my town who will NOT let up when they see you downtown at an event. This one woman was HARASSING me! She would not let it go and I finally had to tell her I was going to get rude and I didnt want to have to result to that OR I could just call that cop standing over there to come over........

I dont mean to insult any of you born agains out there, but hey, I dont need someone elses beliefs shoved down my throat after I politely say no thanks!
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Old 08-15-2002, 01:46 PM
 
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There was one time that a JW (an middle aged woman) came to my door and I was blessed by the experience. Only one time, mind you! Other times have been neg. like you all describe.

But this one time I had severe PPD, was sobbing when I answered the door. Baby was screaming in the background -- as he did for several straight weeks as a newborn. I hadn't shower or eaten in how long, I don't know. I didn't live anywhere near anyone I knew to help me. I flung the door open and there was this maternal looking woman standing there, and before she could say anything I blurted out that baby NEVER stopped crying.

She didn't say one single word about her mission work. Just spoke very gently to me about the way that babies are. She was the first person to tell me that babies cry because that is how they communicate, and that it wasn't my job to make him stop crying, just my job to listen, empathize, and do what I could to make him feel heard, understood, protected and cared for.

Then she handed me a brochure and left.

I'm quite sure God sent her to me that day.
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Old 08-15-2002, 02:02 PM
 
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to my way of thinking, that act of kindness is much more attractive and christ-like. i don' recall a single story of any of the true prophets marching from door to door "selling" gospell.
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Old 08-15-2002, 02:04 PM
 
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I have been fortunate that in the many places I have resided I cannot recall having a bad experience with Jehovah's Witnesses or any other religious person calling on me. I always found the JW to be more informative than some of the others I have met by showing me actual scriptures from the Bible to back up their beliefs. And if I have asked them to not come over at a certain time, or when my fil was over, they took the time to learn what kind of car he drove, and wouldn't stop by. I'm sorry many have been exposed to over-zealous people who have come across as being disrespectful.

Jesus apparently went into the streets to teach folks about the Bible's message and I personally find it quite interesting.

I only wish they were more visible so that I could get over the social stigmatism I sometimes attach to a person who is conveying the Word of God.
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Old 08-15-2002, 03:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by EFmom
When we are harrassed by JWs, LDS or the like, I'm polite the first time, ask them to respect my privacy, and tell them that I do not wish any contact with whichever cult they happen to belong to.
When people use the word "cult" this usually has an exceedingly negative connotation. I'm sorry if people have had negative experiences by LDS proselytizing. But please, please use words like this carefully--I'm LDS and it is not a cult. Jehovah's Witnesses that I have had some limited contact with also have not seemed cultic (is that a word?).

And just for the record--the Twelve went out teaching, two by two, when Jesus sent them, and after Jesus' Ascension, there was a large amount of missionary activity to "spread the word."
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Old 08-15-2002, 04:29 PM
 
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If I was one of the people who set out to teach others about the Bible and they didn't know that I didn't belong to a cult I would try to come back and clear this up! That would be my first natural reaction.

Laila.
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Old 08-15-2002, 05:06 PM
 
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My mom is a JW, sort of a non practicing one at this point, but that is where I went from the time I was 5 until I was in Middle School or so.

I personally do not believe all the things that they do, and I have a problem with some of the things they do or believe, but I have to say, they are some of the nicest, most sincere people I know.

I am really glad at how strictly I was raised and about how protective they are of children.

I usually don't answer the door when they come by because I really don't want to get into a big discussion with them. I am a Christian and could never be persuaded to believe the same things they do. And I am just to busy with dd.

I don't think they are a cult, per se. I think that they interpret some things in the bible differently than I do, but I don't think they are brainwashed or dangerous at all.
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Old 08-16-2002, 12:10 AM
 
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Mamaduck, I love to hear stories like yours about the woman who came to your door. That's so neat.

The other days I had the boys at the playground and there were kids at a Vacation Bible School playing nearby. A young man came over to the playground and encouraged me to bring the boys over if I wanted to even thought they were technically too young for the program. I could tell he was from a more fundamentalist background from some of the language he used, which usually turns me right off (I am Christian, but liberal Protestant), but he gave such a kind and good vibe. Even though I found myself tensing up a bit at some of the things he said, I was more touched at his genuine friendliness and really felt God in him.

(And, yes, I know I need to work on my prejudice to some religious lingo. That incident really brought that to light for me. And, yes, he left after a couple of minutes without me having to be rude. Thank goodness 'cause we were having fun!)
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Old 08-16-2002, 12:12 AM
 
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And, Bekka, about the use of the word "cult". Just yesterday I was browsing another message board and saw some people referring to AA as a cult. I had never really heard that before and was a litle put off since it has been of such help to me. I can understand your feelings.
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Old 08-16-2002, 03:18 AM
 
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My paternal grandmother, who BTW I can't stand, used to have a really funny comeback. They were Catholic, and before Vatican II, Catholics didn't allow the Bible translated into the vernacular. So when people would come door-to-door, selling bibles as they did back then, she would say, "I'm sorry, but we're Catholic, and as such we don't read the Bible." :LOL

Nearly all of my previous roomates, and my DH, hate it when people come to our door to "spread the word." The reason they hate it is that I'm a pagan, graduated (as a pagan) from a Catholic school, daughter of a UU minister (self-identified as a non-theist she was), and I was taking my theology classes in high school at the same pace as my mom took nearly parallel classes in seminary! Somehow, : I got this love of discussing theology.

So when they come to the door, I invite them in if it's convenient. They usually get a tad uncomfortable when I go to my bookcase, and ask them what translation and version they use, so we can reference the same. I have two bookshelves full of bibles and other sacred texts (Jewish, Muslim, various brands of Neo-paganism and not-so-neo paganism, Hindu, Buddhist, and one Bahai writing). My husband doesn't like having them in our house, bcs. he is theo-phobic, so I've curbed my tendencies, but this last sunday, something happened that I just couldn't pass up.

Sunday late morning, I was outside with DD, tracing each other in glow-in-the-dark sidewalk chalk, when a nice small group came up to us. They seemed quite friendly and chatty, and I figured they'd just recently moved in to the neighborhood. It turns out, he was just pumping me for information on alll my Latino neighbors so that they could go "bring them back to god." Then he starts turning it onto me. I just said, "I have a great relationship with my powers-that-be, and a great church community. I'm pretty well set, thanks." He looks me up and down (I'm all sweaty with flour and a fresh bleach stain on my shirt, since I'd been cleaning and baking all morning, and my hair was - sort of - held back by a bandanna), and says, "So you must go to church later in the day then..."

I said, "no, these ARE my church clothes. As a matter of fact, I'm at church right now. I have this hill, some great trees, a beautiful blue sky, and quality time with my daughter. Sounds like worship to me!"

scifi-convention runners Kate, DH Drew 11/07, DD Cora 12/97. We , ,
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Old 08-16-2002, 09:57 AM
 
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Awesome!! That was great and how true!
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