My paternal grandmother, who BTW I can't stand, used to have a really funny comeback. They were Catholic, and before Vatican II, Catholics didn't allow the Bible translated into the vernacular. So when people would come door-to-door, selling bibles as they did back then, she would say, "I'm sorry, but we're Catholic, and as such we don't read the Bible." :LOL
Nearly all of my previous roomates, and my DH, hate it when people come to our door to "spread the word." The reason they hate it is that I'm a pagan, graduated (as a pagan) from a Catholic school, daughter of a UU minister (self-identified as a non-theist she was), and I was taking my theology classes in high school at the same pace as my mom took nearly parallel classes in seminary! Somehow,
: I got this love of discussing theology.
So when they come to the door, I invite them in if it's convenient. They usually get a tad uncomfortable when I go to my bookcase, and ask them what translation and version they use, so we can reference the same. I have two bookshelves full of bibles and other sacred texts (Jewish, Muslim, various brands of Neo-paganism and not-so-neo paganism, Hindu, Buddhist, and one Bahai writing). My husband doesn't like having them in our house, bcs. he is theo-phobic, so I've curbed my tendencies, but this last sunday, something happened that I just couldn't pass up.
Sunday late morning, I was outside with DD, tracing each other in glow-in-the-dark sidewalk chalk, when a nice small group came up to us. They seemed quite friendly and chatty, and I figured they'd just recently moved in to the neighborhood. It turns out, he was just pumping me for information on alll my Latino neighbors so that they could go "bring them back to god." Then he starts turning it onto me. I just said, "I have a great relationship with my powers-that-be, and a great church community. I'm pretty well set, thanks." He looks me up and down (I'm all sweaty with flour and a fresh bleach stain on my shirt, since I'd been cleaning and baking all morning, and my hair was - sort of - held back by a bandanna), and says, "So you must go to church later in the day then..."
I said, "no, these ARE my church clothes. As a matter of fact, I'm at church right now. I have this hill, some great trees, a beautiful blue sky, and quality time with my daughter. Sounds like worship to me!"