Buddhism and TTC - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 09-13-2002, 10:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I seem to recall once seeing a buddhist thread. I'm wondering what a buddhist perspective would be to the ups and downs and uncertainty and excitement and disappointment and hopelessness of TTC. Any thoughts???
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#2 of 4 Old 09-14-2002, 12:23 PM
 
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I'm not Buddhist but I'm Hindu. Is that close enough? lol! There were a couple of things that made me feel better after it taking a year and one m/c for us to concieve.

First is that the soul will come when the time is right for it to come. Everything has to be in the right place and the right time for it to come. Your life has to be at just the right point and circumstances, and the planets and stars have to also be aligned properly. So be patient. It's not a matter of if but when.

Secondly is that if you keep a higher mind you will attract a higher soul. So continue your own spiritual practices while you are ttcing.

One thing that I started doing after my m/c was to name my baby's future soul and talk to it sometimes and invite it to come down when it was ready, and join our family. Abi's name was Jiva, which means life. Like I'd drive past the zoo and say to Jiva, "When you come to our family we'll be spending many happy hours at the zoo. I can't wait!" and just made it happy thoughts. It helped me to bond with her before she was even concieved. She was part of my life even before she was physically inside of me.

When I has my m/c I also was able to let go of that baby, knowing and feeling honored that part of its destiny was to be my child, if only for a few weeks. I'm sure that it felt my love for it and hopefully that made something whole in it so it could continue on its journey.

Pray. I believe in the power of prayer. It was after I visited a special temple known to help infertile couples that Abi was concieved the next month.

Also relax and don't put any pressure on your body. Try to relax and just let things happen. I think one reason it took us so long with Abi was because I was stressed out about the whole ttc process, as well as a bad job situation. I quit the job and gave up ttcing for awhile and that's when it happened.

GOOD LUCK! Enjoy this special time!

Aum shanti,
Darshani

PS if you want to read Abi's story of when she was concieved, etc. you can find it here:
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~sukum...birthstory.htm

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#3 of 4 Old 09-14-2002, 03:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much. I've printed your post and Abi's story of her birth to read and reread. I knew there had to be a different way of approaching this and viewing this whole process other than fear and disappointment. thank you. thank you.
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#4 of 4 Old 09-16-2002, 05:54 AM
 
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Hi Rebakah -- I'm so sorry you are having trouble conceiving. It took us three years to have our dd. It hurts at times.

I'm Buddhist, although not a very good one. But in response to your question, I think the first answer Buddhism would give you is DETACHMENT. Buddhism teaches that pain and suffering arises from desire. It is not your lack of a child that causes you suffering, but rather your desire for a child. Does that make sense?

I used to think this was a brutal philosophy. Like, what, I'm not supposed to be attached to my husband? My daughter? But then I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh and he gave an illustration that really made sense. When you see a beautiful flower, you enjoy its appearance, its aroma, you love the flower for what it is and what it gives you. But when it withers, you don't grieve for it, because of course you knew it was transitory all the time. If we can perceive our own desires/attachments in the same way, we are released from our suffering. Everything is transitory, so we pay attention to what we have NOW and practice gratitude for that, and accept it when it is gone.

When I would get my period and that sinking feeling hit me in the stomach, the thing that helped me was to say to myself: this is just the way things are (acceptance) and then focus on the good things I had in my life (gratitude).

I wish you peace!
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