Buddhism and TTC - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 09-13-2002, 10:20 PM - Thread Starter
Rebekah's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: California (SF Bay Area)
Posts: 279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I seem to recall once seeing a buddhist thread. I'm wondering what a buddhist perspective would be to the ups and downs and uncertainty and excitement and disappointment and hopelessness of TTC. Any thoughts???
Rebekah is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 09-14-2002, 12:23 PM
USAmma's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Arizona
Posts: 18,846
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not Buddhist but I'm Hindu. Is that close enough? lol! There were a couple of things that made me feel better after it taking a year and one m/c for us to concieve.

First is that the soul will come when the time is right for it to come. Everything has to be in the right place and the right time for it to come. Your life has to be at just the right point and circumstances, and the planets and stars have to also be aligned properly. So be patient. It's not a matter of if but when.

Secondly is that if you keep a higher mind you will attract a higher soul. So continue your own spiritual practices while you are ttcing.

One thing that I started doing after my m/c was to name my baby's future soul and talk to it sometimes and invite it to come down when it was ready, and join our family. Abi's name was Jiva, which means life. Like I'd drive past the zoo and say to Jiva, "When you come to our family we'll be spending many happy hours at the zoo. I can't wait!" and just made it happy thoughts. It helped me to bond with her before she was even concieved. She was part of my life even before she was physically inside of me.

When I has my m/c I also was able to let go of that baby, knowing and feeling honored that part of its destiny was to be my child, if only for a few weeks. I'm sure that it felt my love for it and hopefully that made something whole in it so it could continue on its journey.

Pray. I believe in the power of prayer. It was after I visited a special temple known to help infertile couples that Abi was concieved the next month.

Also relax and don't put any pressure on your body. Try to relax and just let things happen. I think one reason it took us so long with Abi was because I was stressed out about the whole ttc process, as well as a bad job situation. I quit the job and gave up ttcing for awhile and that's when it happened.

GOOD LUCK! Enjoy this special time!

Aum shanti,

PS if you want to read Abi's story of when she was concieved, etc. you can find it here:

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
USAmma is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 09-14-2002, 03:09 PM - Thread Starter
Rebekah's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: California (SF Bay Area)
Posts: 279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you so much. I've printed your post and Abi's story of her birth to read and reread. I knew there had to be a different way of approaching this and viewing this whole process other than fear and disappointment. thank you. thank you.
Rebekah is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 09-16-2002, 05:54 AM
Thao's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Washington state
Posts: 2,250
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Rebakah -- I'm so sorry you are having trouble conceiving. It took us three years to have our dd. It hurts at times.

I'm Buddhist, although not a very good one. But in response to your question, I think the first answer Buddhism would give you is DETACHMENT. Buddhism teaches that pain and suffering arises from desire. It is not your lack of a child that causes you suffering, but rather your desire for a child. Does that make sense?

I used to think this was a brutal philosophy. Like, what, I'm not supposed to be attached to my husband? My daughter? But then I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh and he gave an illustration that really made sense. When you see a beautiful flower, you enjoy its appearance, its aroma, you love the flower for what it is and what it gives you. But when it withers, you don't grieve for it, because of course you knew it was transitory all the time. If we can perceive our own desires/attachments in the same way, we are released from our suffering. Everything is transitory, so we pay attention to what we have NOW and practice gratitude for that, and accept it when it is gone.

When I would get my period and that sinking feeling hit me in the stomach, the thing that helped me was to say to myself: this is just the way things are (acceptance) and then focus on the good things I had in my life (gratitude).

I wish you peace!
Thao is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off