I fear God because I know he will do what is needed for me. Maybe I need to spend a little time living in a cardboard box in a cold alley to really learn what I need to learn about life. Hopefully I don't need that harsh of a lesson. I don't know exactly what I need. God does. I just fear a little He will teach the lessons I need to learn in whatever way He needs to. My wife left me with my boys when they were 7 and 9. I assumed she would want them when she told me we were getting a divorce. I paid $3000 to a lawyer to keep them. Could have got them for the $50 Washington state divorce form fee. She didn't want them.
They are adults now. I did ok by myself. But only ok. There was a lot of areas I could have done better in. I was not strong enough to give them what they needed. I didn't want them to fear me. I wanted them to love me. According to them a little fear would have been a good thing. They love me and feel free to share that. They also feel free to share that I should have been strong enough to instill a little fear in them too.
I am glad I worship a God that I can fear and love. An acquaintance of mine whenever I ask how hes doing says, The good lord is still keeping me around. I have adopted his response with slight modifications. I say The good Lord is still kicking me around. I thank God I have a God who loves me enough to kick me around a little when I need it.
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