Self Esteem - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 10-03-2002, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Have you ever suffered from self esteem issues? How do you handle, cope or heal from it? How has your spirituality helped you with this problem?
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#2 of 6 Old 10-03-2002, 06:59 PM
 
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I'm somewhere on the long and winding road to greater self esteem. I have way much more than I did say ten years ago. Still, somedays I struggle with it.

Spirituality has really helped me with these issues. Believing in a benevolent higher power that loves me, seeing beauty in the earth and then being able to recognise that beauty within me.

I've never really thought much about it, but I can say that my spirituality has brough healing to this area.
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#3 of 6 Old 10-03-2002, 07:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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May I ask, did you search for a spiritual path and that's how the healing began? Or did the path happen upon you and your growth moved from there.
And with self esteem issues, do you feel it is because you were lacking that love which only a benevolent power can give?
I know that I used to feel like a piece of me was missing, like I wasn't completely whole, however that wasn't my entire problem ever. But it was a part.
What types of things do you do in your daily life that help remind you how beautiful you are?
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#4 of 6 Old 10-03-2002, 09:23 PM
 
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Hmmmm..... interesting things to ponder.

I think for me I always felt like something was missing in my life. As a teen I searched different religious teachings and practices in the hope to find what I was lacking.
I think I needed to know I was valuable in some grand scheme of things - especially after coming from a family rife with abuse and neglect.

Now I use creative prayer (talking,singing,drawing, poetry, letters to the Creator) and affirmations to help with my self esteem when it starts on a downward spiral.

I'd love to hear other ideas
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#5 of 6 Old 10-04-2002, 01:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think it's very important to commend you on that you started searching for what was missing instead of dwelling inside of that hole. It's very easy to do. And you lose hope and all happiness in that hole.

Also, WOW! I think it's great that you use creative prayer in those ways!

Other ideas? Well, I used to hold a monthly get together for women at my house and I had different themes. Exploring your innerself was always the idea however.
Our first meeting for example, we finger painted ) It's always a pot luck deal at my home, and I typically allow alcohol for those who enjoy a glass or two of wine. However, hard liquor and major drinking are never appropriate. But that's a personal choice.
Every month a new idea would be formed, sometimes painting, sometimes poetry, sometimes acting out a play, sometimes playing hide and seek in the yard. Some way to return to that goodness and innocence of childhood inside of us and reminding us to treasure ourselves as if we were our own children.

Also it's very important to have a personal ritual so to speak. A bubble bath every night for 30 minutes to an hour. Take yourself out ocassionally to a movie, or dinner, maybe even lunch if you can.
Treating yourself but not going beyond your means to do so.

I think it's important to put a little money aside each month for a really nice spa visit or massage. Again, treating yourself, caring for yourself.

One lesson that is very important is to treat others the way you wish to be treated. But the following lesson is just as important.
Treat yourself the way you wish others to treat you. People tend to go by how you treat yourself generally. If you hate yourself, they won't particularly like you either. If you love yourself, it most certainly shows and people will tend to love you too. And, I know it's been said over and over again, but if you love yourself, you give yourself license to also love others )

Anyone else have ideas or thoughts? These are just a few I like to mention on a regular basis.
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#6 of 6 Old 10-04-2002, 07:46 PM
 
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I have suffered self esteem issues from birth practically. My mother was authoritarian, my father was that plus sometimes abusive physically. I was raised in a cult-church that basically said people were sinners from birth and we contantly had to ask God for forgiveness. As a little girl who hadn't had the chance to do much wrong yet, I never saw the logic for that, and also I was a girl so had to be punished for that by experiencing birth pains and all that. At school I was not in the in crowd both by choice and because I dressed according to the cult and could not wear normal clothes.

Okay so fast forward through all that. I became world class athlete, got a scholarship, got a degree, found a good relationship with God, disowned my mother and made peace with my father, published some articles and poems, got a good job, later had a wonderful dd with whom I try every day to break the cycle of abuse.

And still I sometimes have issues. I get so defensive sometimes, reading into things that are not there or were not meant. If a friend does not return my calls or emails for a few days I assume she's mad at me when actually she was just busy. But as time goes on I am getting more sure of myself and am actually starting to like who I am.

My faith helped with that a LOT at first. I was able to find one that fit me without feeling too bitter about the one I left. After all it was not Jesus who hurt me, it was a few who called themselves Christians (and probably were not very good ones either). But still I found a new faith and that helped a lot. Now it's not as important in my life but I still do pray and connect with the Divine regularly. Mostly though I learning to connect with myself and accept and love who I am, in all my uniqueness.

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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