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#61 of 114 Old 10-28-2002, 07:58 PM
 
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Drewsmom, don't worry. I think this discussion was winding to a close anyway. I don't really know what to think about Iraq. I vaguely remember a talk on war in conference, but I was tending to ds and not really paying attention. I saw a little blurb in the newspaper that the Church had made some kind of statement like what you described, but I too wonder if it was taken out of context or blown out of proportion. It seems like Church members themselves would be talking about it more, and I just haven't heard much discussion. I don't know what I think on the whole issue.

Thanks to everyone who wrote with suggestions/or validation for my situation with sil. I'm feeling much better about the whole situation, or at least about my ability to deal with it. I just know I must deal with it now, because I'm setting the tone for our whole future interaction. I've got a few decades of parenting stretching ahead of me, and so does she. I'm going to kindly, but firmly, set some boundaries. Like instead of arguing, I'll try to just tell her that I feel strongly about it, I'm not going to change my mind, and we should talk about something else. I know it'll be hard, because I have a tendency to get defensive and stubborn. It's hard to agree to disagree when there are things that are huge concerns to me, and I see her children not getting everything they could. But I picture how they will be as adults, and they will be OK.

I guess I just have to remember that the best plug for AP will be our family, and it will be several years before that evidence will be visible.
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#62 of 114 Old 10-28-2002, 08:18 PM
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Elder Nelson said, "We denounce war." I was so proud of him for taking a stand by saying that. Then the church issued an official "retraction," but at least Elder Nelson got to say what he felt!
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#63 of 114 Old 10-30-2002, 04:10 AM
 
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Didn't the Prophet say something about hoping/praying for peace and that we should be a peaceful people and stuff?

Hi. Our wards just got re-shuffled this last sunday. I think it is pretty cool and exciting. I am always up for change. But I guess at the Stake meeting where the announced the boundry changes there were some people who did not manifest the dicision and one person who opposed it. I can not think of a good reason why people would feel against or apathetic about something as simple as a boundry change. It's not like the changes are made for any reason other than practical reasons of needing to adjust for ward sizes and all that stuff.

I am sitting on the edge of our bed typing this and my sweet baby girl has been lying beside me sleeping and she just woke up with sweet little coos and I looked down at her and she was giving me the sweetest little smile and is grabbing my arm. How sweet! And I love to hear her "mew" in the night searching for milk. There isn't a night that goes by that I don't think about how many sweet little moments I would miss out on if she slept in a crib. A bit off topic, but worth noting. Isn't it amazing how much peace and joy you can get just from a sweet little spirit smiling up at you, cooing!?!! Heavenly Father is so cool.

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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#64 of 114 Old 10-30-2002, 04:48 AM
 
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youngandhappy,

I think about that all the time, how much I would have missed out on if my little girl had always slept in the crib. She is almost two now, and although she does better in her little bed, I still lie down with her to get her to sleep, and she comes in to our bed whenever she wakes up, whether it be in the night or early morning. And I love it so much. Sometimes she gets right close to my face and says "mommie" in a little whisper and then tries to rub noses. We have had so many moments in the wee hours of the night, where I feel so much joy and sweetness that I feel like my heart could burst. I feel this way tonight so your post is right up my alley.

Oh, and on the topic of war with Iraq. I am still sorting things out in my mind. I am not 100% asure of my position yet. I went back and read Nelson's talk and it was wonderful. Of course, like everyone else, I am all for peace, I just don't think being total pacifists will get us there, unfortunately. I would feel more comfortable in invading Iraq if we had lots of international support, but I also have had a hard time getting the facts straight with all the varying sources regarding how much of a real threat SH poses. I couldn't find any info on a retraction by the Church regarding Nelson's comment on war. Where can I find that. Did he change the wording in the transcripts online as well?
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#65 of 114 Old 10-31-2002, 08:49 PM
 
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Lisa, in my original answer to your problem I stated I run into this with my in-laws. What you said in your last post is something I realized a while back: Hopefully, through our more natural approach to parenting, our family will see something different in our kids years down the road -- not today or tomorrow ('cause if they look today all they will see is a very big three-year-old wanting to nurse!) but years from now. And I would hope someday ,y in-laws would say, "Hmm, Stacie's kids are noticeably different in this are than X's kids." Maybe it will never happen -- through our faith and devotion to our religion I expect most of the kids in this clan will be pretty similar -- but who knows.

Another thing I remind myself: Why would I take offense to something my mother-in-law says to me? I would never wish to be the type of mother she was. Now let me qualify that: She taught her children wonderful values of faith, work, honesty, etc. But she was not very emotionally available to her kids. She was not a hugger or a giver of kind words. She was not loving, in the way I am loving to my kids, KWIM? So when I get all caught up in it, I stand back and think, "Why am I getting upset? I don't agree with the way you raised your kids (on an emotional level)." She was a little like a cactus mom -- prickly and cold. One thing that is nice, though, is some of that is diffused with grandkids, I don't know if it's age or involvement or what, but she is quite loving with her grandkids.
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#66 of 114 Old 10-31-2002, 08:53 PM
 
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I also wanted to add:
Part of the reason I come and go here is it gets so confusing! We should not feel like we are hijacking threads when we want to bring up a new topic. If you have not checked out our LDS moms board, here is the link:http://www.ldsmoms.org/cgi-local/Ult...i?action=intro
It's so much easier to navigate because we have different topic areas.

I was amazed at what I learned about youngnhappy just through her intro there -- I had seen her here for a long time and never known any of that!
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#67 of 114 Old 11-04-2002, 01:29 AM
 
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Hello everyone, I am finally catching up on the board. There have been so many things posted I know I won't be able to respond properly. We went on a week long business/family trip came home for my brothers wedding, it was beautiful and the peace I needed for what was to come next. My sister is very ill in the critical care unit. I now have her 14yod and 8mo daughter whom I am nursing. It is such a wonderful experience. I feel so grateful that I can give this to her sweet baby. She absolutely refuses a bottle and when I went to the house to pick her up she reached for me and started patting me. It was so sweet. She is nursing great and dh has been very supportive. He gave me a blessing that I would be able to provide for both of them.

I need to get to bed now that both of them are asleep.


Have a great day everyone!!

Sarah
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#68 of 114 Old 11-04-2002, 07:44 PM
 
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Sarah that is so awesome that you are nursing your sweet neice for your sister!!!!!!!!!!!! That totally gives me warm fuzzies!!! What a sweet thing to be able to do....I'm sure it is making it so much easier for the baby especially with her mommy not being able to care for her. What is your sister ill with?

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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#69 of 114 Old 11-05-2002, 03:32 AM
 
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I wanted to give the ldsmoms.org board another plug. It's just like these cool threads.....only more expansive and schtuff. It's also sort of slow since there aren't many members I guess. It'd be so cool if all of you joined in those discussions also.

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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#70 of 114 Old 11-05-2002, 11:37 PM
 
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Hi youngnhappymamma, My sister was diagnosed with pneumonia but she didn't want to leave her baby so she tried to stay home. Her left lung collapsed and she went into respiratory distress. Her kids were so smart and called 911 when the paramedics arrived they resuscitated her, she ended up crashing 2 times en route to the hosp and 2 times in the er. She is doing much better now and is hoping to be released friday. She was admitted to the hosp last thursday. She has some heart problems as well and developed some blood clots so she is on coumadin which is contraindicated for nursing. She misses her baby so much. We live 2 hours away so we won't be able to take the baby to visit her very often. She hasn't decided what to do when she goes home. She may end up weaning. It is such a hard time for her. Thanks for the good wishes!

Sarah
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#71 of 114 Old 11-06-2002, 12:02 AM
 
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What a scary experience for her and her kids!!!!!!! Hope things continue to go well.

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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#72 of 114 Old 11-06-2002, 06:04 PM
 
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I hope that your sister's recovery is quick. That's a wonderful thing that you're doing for her and her kids, to have that stability at a time like this really means a lot. I hope you're doing OK, that's got to be a lot to handle.
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#73 of 114 Old 11-06-2002, 06:28 PM
 
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I know that being "picky" about medications is likely the least of your sister's concerns, b/c she is lucky to have such smart kids to call 911. However, my mom was pregnant with my baby brother, and she had deep vein thrombosis--blood clots in her leg, and they wanted to put her on coumadin, but that is contraindicated in pregnancy, as in it will likely abort the baby. SO, she went on twice daily heparin injections and my brother was born early but healthy. My MIL also was on heparin--she was on a continuous drip heparin setup that actually had a cenral venous catheter (I believe) which was a continuous drip but she also was on coumadin for a while. Since there are other options (she's not pregnant), the doctors may not even consider heparin. I think that is the right drug.
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#74 of 114 Old 11-08-2002, 06:12 PM
 
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Hi gals!

My sister is now home and on heparin, which she is gradually going off of. The only deterrent to bf is one of the antibiotics she is on. As soon as she is done with that one she will be able to start re-lactating, her milk supply is just about zero now. We are settled into a routine now. I won't say it is easy but I can deal with it.

Have a great day everyone!

Sarah
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#75 of 114 Old 11-09-2002, 05:00 PM
 
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Hi Sarah!
That's wonderful! I know that everything has been incredibly stressful for your sister. Would there be any motivation to "pump and dump" until the antibiotic course is finished, so that she can work on speeding up the relactation process? Obviously that has to be balanced against simply resting herself for a period of time to build up strength *for* relactation. Hope everything continues to go okay for your sister. Good for you for being there to nurse her baby!
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#76 of 114 Old 11-11-2002, 02:24 PM
 
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Hi Bekka,

My sister has been pumping with a medela. She hasn't pumped much so she has a hard time "letting down" to the pump. She can still get about 2oz per session but she is only pumping 2x a day not. She is home now and recovering well. She misses her baby so much I feel so sad for her. I wish we lived closer! It is also not an option to go stay with her as I would have to take my 4 kids and she has 9 kids so it would be way too crowded. She is getting a lot of pressure from my mom and another sister to just wean Katie. They are talking about having her brought home tomorrow and put on a bottle until my sis can nurse again. I don't live close enough to support her like she needs right now. I am very frustrated. I am worried that a week on a bottle Katie would not go back to nursing well. I know it isn't my decision to make I just feel so sad for Katie she is so addicted to nursing! I have to nurse my own ds in another room as Katie has staked her claim! They are both asleep now so I better start the diapers washing. Yes call me crazy but I am washing diapers for both babies and dd2 that isn't potty trained yet



Have a great day!
Sarah
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#77 of 114 Old 11-11-2002, 10:53 PM
 
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I have a "how-do-you-do-it?" question for all you ladies. OUr bishop talked yesterday in Sacrament meeting about how important going to the temple is, and told us all that we needed to work to increase our temple attendance. Now I definitely can't argue with that- I love going to the temple. I live in the heart of Utah- 6 or so temples within an hour drive, and I try really hard not to take that for granted. But, my dd is thirteen months old- almost- and I've only been to the temple once since she's been born. I miss that time with my dh, but I don't think that Abby is ready to be left for that amount of time with someone else, because she's still having a lot of spearation anxiety. I already have to leave her four days a week for an hour and a half or so with my mom while I'm teaching, and she just barely started to accept that without a lot of tears and drama. I feel really strongly that she needs to be with her mama and dad whenever possible, and we're not looking for a wey to "get away," we just want to be able to go to the temple. I think we might start to go individually, letting the other stay with dd. What do you do? How do you find a balance between temple attendance and being a good AP mom?

Hey Sarah- I think what you're doing is so awesome. What a blessing tha tyou are able to do that for your little niece. I bet you will always have a special relationship with her because of that. Wishing you lots of health and peace as you nurse two little ones!

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
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#78 of 114 Old 11-12-2002, 12:33 PM
 
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hey there! I need some suggestions! I need to get a $20 gift for my LDS sister-in-law who has a 4 year old son, and am wondering what to get. she is very "natural", and I want to get her something that she will really enjoy.

suggestions, please!!!

Thanks!!
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#79 of 114 Old 11-12-2002, 04:57 PM
 
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Mollie- I'll need to think about that one a little bit. I wonder if you could find something from DeseretBook.com. Where does she live? I mean is she somewhere in Mormonville (ie Utah/Idaho/Az) or what are her interests?

Stacymom- We had a great discussion about this in the last? thread I think. It seemed like everyones situations were a little bit different. If I remember right you're in Utah right? This should put you a little closer to the temple which is always so helpful. Some of the other sisters were a few states away. But i think ultimately the gist of the last discussion was to just be prayerful about it and that your ultimate calling is that of mother, esp while your little ones are little and not to push it before they or you are ready. I think that's a great idea to have dh watch while you go and vice versa. I always meant to do this and my in-laws offered but we planned on having someone watch ds in the visitors center or on the grounds while we went that way it wasn't as long of a trip. We are about an hr. away from the DC temple depending on traffic so it usually is about a 4 hr. ordeal. I hate leaving ds for that long and I stress the whole time but I have been glad the times that I could go, I always am amazed at how rejuvinating it is for me individually to go and for us a couple and ds has been blessed to be really comfortable with whoever we left him with.

Youngnhappy- Hopefully you're still lurking on the thread...or this is for anyone else. I remember that her dh is a religious scholar. Someone brought up the question of the organization of the church in the old testament times (ie a prophet who directs and guides the 70s, church, etc). Was it the same and it's just not recorded very well for us to know or was there actually a slightly different order to the church. For example we know that there were multiple prophets at the same time in different places. Some proposed that it was b/c we have the tv/internet, etc modern means of communicating that it made it easier vs. in those times. Any thoughts?
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#80 of 114 Old 11-12-2002, 04:59 PM
 
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Sometimes increasing temple attendance is going twice in a year instead of once. Don't expect to suddenly go monthly. Some moms aren't able to go until their children are all over five. Would you go if your child wasn't needy? That's the question, I think. Actually, we were doing better, and now we've gotten busy and missed 2 months, but anyhow, until this summer dd would only stay with her dad, so we'd either go to the temple area and do back-to-back sessions, so we both had the "spiritual" experience on the same day, or over a weekend (Fri eve, Sat am) where we could both have the temple spirit and discuss it at home. It's what we can do now. One wise friend of mine once said that it's okay if the best we can do now is "less" than what we could do a year ago or five years ago. I've really tried to take that to heart.

Re. the gift cert: is it for her and her child or for "mom" stuff? If it's for her to get kid stuff, maybe HearthSong or The Magic Cabin has gift certificates. If it's for her, is there a local health food co-op or something? Is there a Trader Joe's or equivalent where you/she live?
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#81 of 114 Old 11-12-2002, 08:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello friends! I haven't had much internet time lately, but I have been lurking just to keep up. We had a great trip to Japan a couple of weeks ago. We left our 2 ds's 4 and 2, in California with my parents and took dd 4mos. She did great! It was a neat experience, and my boys had so much fun they didn't even miss us. My parents are such good grandparents!
I've been feeling so normal lately that I haven't had much to post. Its a good feeling, though. I've come to peace with the way I do things, which is somewhere in the great in between of "mainstream" and "AP".
I just wanted to reply to the temple question. I think it is cool that the last 4 times we have been to the temple it has been in Las Vegas, Boston, Palmyra, and Tokyo! Mil watched dd while we attended a session there. So anyway, if you want to keep the commandments, the Lord has promised He will provide a way. Even if you are AP and have a needy child. Maybe you could have dh give her a blessing. Happy temple going! Gotta go.
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#82 of 114 Old 11-12-2002, 09:02 PM
 
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It is so hard for us to get to the temple too. Michael does well with a sitter now that he is 4. Our problem now is that the sitter has to be able to cope with his allergies. That usually means someone without children b/c of the level of his sensitivity. Also, no perfume or scented stuff in the house. When he was younger we only went when a grandparent could watch him. Lately it has still been that way. As we are getting settled into our new area, we are looking for possible sitters.
As for suggestions:
I find peace taking my son to the temple and walking around the grounds. He has the most amazing things to say about his thoughts on religion. And I think having a place to sit and reflect so close to the Lord can bring peace.
Also, the purpose of the temple is to give all a chance to return to Heavenly Father's presence. It isn't easy I know, but could you do some geneaology? Bits and pieces here and there. During naps or nursing, etc. That way, when you do get a chance to go to the temple, you have names that have personal meaning to you. And I know our yw/m appreciate have names to take for baptisms.
Whatever you decide works for you, remember that you are doing the Lord's work by being the best mom you can be. There are so many things that are important, and we can't do all of them at once. How many people do you truly know who have 72 hr kits for all, a years supply that is ready to go, serve perfectly in all their callings, have the geneaology done, attend the temple monthly *AND* everything else we are supposed to do? We do need to strive to follow the Lord and what he wants us to do, but he doesn't want us to have a nervous breakdown in the process.
Momnlovit is right, when we honestly try our best to keep the commandments, we are blessed.

Re: Mollie's post. I um, need to e-mail you again Mollie :LOL
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#83 of 114 Old 11-13-2002, 06:53 PM
 
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Ok, I have a hilarious story for all of you about how very small the cyber world is! And anonymous too!
My dh family draws names for Christmas giving. 10 kids in his dad's family has that result. So I draw the name of the cutest little peach, 1 year old girl. I've never met her since she and her fam live in Tennessee, but I love to see her picture and her brother and my son are about 1 year apart and look so much alike it is scary. Her mama drew my name. I e-mail to get there address and all, then I come here and see that Mollie has posted. I remember saying hi to her and reading a few of her posts before. Then I read her new post. Egads!!!
It is THAT Mollie! I sat in my chair and laughed so hard I practically cried. Then I about jumped for joy. I never imagined there was another in this family that approached my weirdness! So I am here to tell you that Mollie is my in-law and now I am wishing Mike would just get a job in Oregon! HA HA HA
So anyway, does anyone have any gift suggestions for a 1 year old girl with an awesome mama? Living in boyland, about all I know about little girls is that they are plumbed a little differently and they wear dresses from time to time.
Mercy, I am still laughing!
Sarah
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#84 of 114 Old 11-13-2002, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ras jane, that is so funny! When I mailed some dipes to youngandhappy, I got her check in the mail and It was the exact name of a friend I had in college that I've lost contact with. The amazing thing is that her husband's name was even the same! I was bummed when I looked at the pictures and it wasn't her.
I just got called to do extraction work. I asked for the calling cause I wanted a way to be involved in geneaology without having to get in too deep. This I can do at home, at my own pace. I can't wait to get started. I was really excited to find out about it. Well, gotta go make dinner. A new family moved into the ward and I'm really enjoying them. The mom is doing joyschool with us so we're getting to know each other well. It is so nice to make friends so far away from home. gotta go really now!
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#85 of 114 Old 11-13-2002, 08:05 PM
 
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RasJane,
If we tell you about gifts for a 1 yo baby girl, how is it going to be a surprise for Mollie?

I have two little girls. Who are just now saying, "we don't pray to cows" and "we don't sell animals in the temple." Umm, can you figure out what we've been talking about this week? "Does God know us from heaven?"

Okay, back to gifts--does she like babies, a cute doll, a Waldorf doll? What about building stuff?
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#86 of 114 Old 11-19-2002, 01:43 AM
 
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Bekka, I love that! Children are so perfect-the questions they ask when they are learning about gospel principles.
I am in the thick of this now as dh and I have been called as the Sunbeam teachers. What a calling!
I need ideas from all of you. We are in such a tiny room and we have 8 children who come regularly. Getting in any lesson is kind of crazy. We have one little boy who likes to be in another child's (any child will do) face and talk about spider man, and trains, and spit. A girl who can't seem to leave her dress down. A girl who is very shy and overwhelmed. My son who wants to test his parents in this new situation, and on and on. The first boy I mentioned is definately my challenge right now. I do my best, but, ya know??
I think we'll be okay, but any advice from some veterans would be much appreciated.
I should mention too that at the new year, we will move up with the children to the CTR 5 class. THat will be good because I don't think these poor children have had a regular teacher for months.
On an exciting note: One of the boys in our class is really neat. His mom called to set up a play date and we went last week. I am so psyched! She has had a homebirth with 3 of her 4 children, she reads Mothering, need I say more. And her son and Michael get along great. Woo Hoo! The only bad thing is that they are moving about April or so. Oh, well, I'll have to enjoy it while it lasts eh?
We'll, I have a few precious minutes with dh. Better enjoy those too.
love you all,
Sarah
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#87 of 114 Old 11-20-2002, 09:38 PM
 
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Hi Sarah! haha. I am' still giggling over that one. ha. I know exactly what you mean about teaching pre-schoolers, it is ALWAYS a challenge with little ones who are not your own, and who do not have good reasoning skills. ha.

A little update on us, last Wednesday night Macie comes down with a terrible stomach bug (at about 1 AM of course), up ALLL night throwing up. then, proceeds to quit sleeping for about 4 days straight. ughhh. Matthew starts throwing up on Friday, followed by me on Saturday! DH is on a 6 week business trip, so I call my mom and beg her to come help me. Big mistake. now, both of my parents are in the midst of the bug, and feel like they are dying. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Plus, there is a mouse in our house.

I am expecting the remainder of the plagues any day now, I'm watching closely for locusts. ha.



So, prayers needed in Tennessee, please!!!! Hope everyone else is doing good! Dh coming home late Friday night, and I am TRYING to psyche myself up not to be waiting up for him with both kids dressed, ready to go, and greet him with a "Here!! Take them!!!" and run out the door screaming.
ha.

just kidding, sort of...
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#88 of 114 Old 11-26-2002, 02:53 PM
 
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OK, somebody post! I don't want to be known as the thread-killer!!

Happy turkey-day everyone!
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#89 of 114 Old 11-26-2002, 03:21 PM
 
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I haven't posted in a while, but I need some extra support today. My baby, Kevin, was stillborn two weeks ago. Today is his due date and I'm having an especially hard time. I basically woke up crying and haven't stopped. Please don't worry about what to post, because I know there's very little that can be said. But if you can include me in your prayers today, I'd really appreciate it. I miss my baby so much.
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#90 of 114 Old 11-26-2002, 03:50 PM
 
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Katherine, I am so very very sorry to hear your news. I can only imagine how devastating that must be. We lost a baby to a late miscarriage before we had our two kids, and she is still in my thoughts daily.

Take care of yourself, I am so sorry. no words.
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