LDS mammas #7 - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-26-2002, 05:19 PM
 
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Katherine, I am so sorry. It's hard to understand why things like this happen. Even our testimonies can't always keep us from hurting. I will be praying that you might be able to feel a measure of peace!

Love,
Lisa
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Old 11-26-2002, 05:47 PM
 
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Katherine you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine what a difficult time you are facing. Love to you and your family!

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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Old 11-26-2002, 08:31 PM
 
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I am so sorry. You will be in my prayers and thoughts. I feel so sad for you. I hope that you have plenty of help and time to grieve. My love to you and your family.
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Old 11-26-2002, 11:26 PM
 
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I'm kind of hesitant to intrude on the current discussion. My concern is so trivial in comparison to Katherine's loss and seems horribly out of place--yet I do need an answer. Do/would you use them? Are they in keeping with the Word of Wisdom? I took ds to our herbalist today because he has a cold. She gave him sage drops that are 45% alcohol. I'm new at all this herbal stuff--I know that many tinctures use alcohol as their base. She's LDS, and I trust that she wouldn't give him anything that would harm him, yet there's a part of me that's uncomfortable. Any thoughts? I keep telling myself that this is probably far less invasive and harmful than anything the dr would give him.
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Old 11-26-2002, 11:43 PM
 
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most medicines contain alcohol, I'm not sure how much and which kinds have the highest % of alcohol, but it is widely used as a base.

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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Old 11-27-2002, 01:34 AM
 
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Oh Katherine-

My heart hurts for you- I can't imagine the loss that you must be feeling. I pray that you may find peace and healing. Remember to be gentle to yourself, and take time to heal.

As far as medicine goes, I don't see a problem with using things with an alcohol base- it's used for medicinal purposes. Remember the "Rescue Remedy" that I showed you? It has an alcohol base, and Katherine reccomended it to me, and it works really well for Abby most times.

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
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Old 11-27-2002, 02:07 AM
 
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Lisa- I really like herbs for kid brand of tinctures as they are made in glycerin. I do occasionally use tinctures in alcohol, I boil water and add 1/2 tsp to tincture dose in a little med cup. Let it sit for a few minutes and then administer by dropper. The alcohol evaporates. You still have the herbal potency without the alcohol.

I have used herbs for about 10 years now on me and my family. We have rarely used allopathic medicine, usually an emergency.

Best wishes! Babies with colds can be trying

Sarah
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Old 11-27-2002, 02:14 PM
 
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Laurel,
I agree with the others. The word of wisdom means that we are not to drink alcoholic beverages. But it specifically says that they are for the washing of the body. This was often (and still is) taken to mean medical purposes.
I hope little Dallin feels better soon!
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Old 11-27-2002, 04:44 PM
 
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Thank you so much for everyone's kind words and prayers. I am doing much better today. I'm sure it will be like this for a while, some days harder than others. Again, the support everyone has expressed means a lot.


I want to add my support for remedies with an alcohol base. I do feel comfortable using them, and from what I understand, they are more effective than remedies in a glycerin base. Best wishes to little Dallin!
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Old 11-30-2002, 09:32 PM
 
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Katherine, I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your little one. My friend lost their first baby, his name is Andrew also, at 7 mo.s pregnancy. His stomach was outside of his body and I'm not sure exactly what happened but it was a very difficult experience. In fact they lived in Utah at the time that it happened and decided that they just needed a change and that's when they moved to the East. I will ask her about some things that helped, I seem to remember her saying something about some books that her mom had given her. It's hard to understand why things happen the way they do. s and much love sent your way.
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Old 12-02-2002, 12:08 PM
 
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Forgive me, I am posting before I read,but we have been asked to give intro-to-ward talks on the 29,and I am wondering if in the spirit of the season, and self inro, I should touch on parenting with the example of Mary and Joseph. Jesus was not born in a hospital (we homebirth),I assume he was breastfed for at least 12-18 mo,I also assume, by the attributes of His adult life, and the spirit of Mary and Joseph knowing who He was,He was likely AP'd(I would certainly be a little more attentive and sensitive mother knowing that...).We also cloth diaper, and the thought of sweet Mary HAND washing dirty diapers is So humbling!
These are some of my initial thoughts I thought it would be fun to bring up,especially as a ward- intro-talk.
I am wondering If any of you know where, if at all, I can get any info on Mary and Joseph as parents(other than the bible),Parenting styles of the day,Any estimation of how long Jesus may have nursed,etc... I Would love it.
O.K., now I am going to catch up on the board.

:::
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Old 12-02-2002, 12:34 PM
 
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Katherine, I wuold suggest preisthood blessings for comfort,healing and peace.This is what helped me when we lost our 2nd,although in the third trimester would be so much harder. love you.

Mollie- I can so relate! My dh is working a new schedule, so it feels like he is gone,and on top of that,we all got food poisoning(NO MORE FAST-FOOD CHICKEN!!!!!!!)And I just started watching my nephew who is also 1(3 wks younger than Dylan)and the kid is a tornado!!!!! His name is Tristan-heretofore known as Trister-the-twister!I have never been so worn out or stressed in my life!I am reaching new limits every day-I think I am finally over the hump(I better be!: )Which brings me to a question I've been wondering about-Am I the only one who has a hard time feeling for others kids? I really had to make it a point to bond with Tristan and really open my heart to him to love him as my own to feel like I could watch him well.
Everyone is waking up so i gotta scram.

:::
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Old 12-02-2002, 01:29 PM
 
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Thanks everyone for your words on herbs and the Word of Wisdom. Dh and I come from really conservative families when it come to that, the kind that don't drink Coke, etc. I decided to take Sarah's idea of boiling the water, and it's worked great. Dallin's nose cleared up overnight! He's still got a little cough, but I haven't been as consistent with giving him the sage since we've been out of town.

We had kind of a funny experience in Enrichment night a few months ago. A lady in our ward did a presentation on herbs and was teaching us how to make our own tinctures. You should have heard the gasps when she brought out the bottle of Vodka she was planning on using to prepare them with! The funniest part was that she couldn't find Vodka in the regular grocery store, so she had to go to a liquor store to get it--for Relief Society! I'm not sure I would go that far.

Audrey--I can totally relate to your thoughts about other people's kids. Before Dallin came, I babysat a little boy from the time he was 2 months old. Because I was longing for a child at that time, he filled a hole, and I was really close to him. I loved babysitting him and loved devoting all my attention to him. Then we got Dallin. When Michael came back for the first time when Dallin was about 6 weeks old, it was horrible. I found myself overwhelmed taking care of two babies (Michael just turned one), and I found myself feeling so angry and resentful toward this innocent child who was stealing my attention away from MY baby. He would cry every time I would hold or nurse Dallin. I had a hard time controlling my frustration with him, and that scared me because I'd never felt that way toward any child before. He only comes once a week, and I've been able to work through my feelings, but it was really hard at first. I was surprised at how I could feel so upset at this child that I had previously doted on. I did have to come to a point of being able to say that I would treat him like he was mine--which meant equally to Dallin during the time he's here. It's not fair for me to favor Dallin, since Michael's too little to understand. So it's just like I had two kids of my own--there are times when Dallin has to wait a minute in order for me to attend to Michael, and vice versa. And Dallin hasn't suffered for that like I initially worried he would.
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Old 12-03-2002, 03:43 PM
 
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Lisa, I am so glad to hear that Dallin is feeling better. We find that something warm on the chest and some eucalyptus oil in a diffuser in his room at night really helps ds when the cough lingers.
I had to laugh at your enrichment night story. MIL has a friend from their ward who is super conservative. she makes her own extracts tho, so she walks right into the liquor store and buys vodka regularly. It embarasses the heck out of her, but she knows all about vodka!
I can relate to your situation a bit with Michael and Dallin. I worked with children long before I had ds and loved most dearly. but I am impatient with some types of children. YK, certain personalities I think. But since having ds, I am so used to his personality and the way he does things, that I frustrate easily with children who are a lot different from him. FI, there is a child in our sunbeams class who is in his own world altogether. He just doesn't listen to anything dh and I tell him, and he is loud and into everything (and not just to explore-to push buttons). He drives me crazy, but dh has an even harder time with him. I don't know how we are going to handle another year with him since we are moving up with the kids to CTR-5. I am sure we will survive just fine tho. I am trying to feel sorry for him more cuz I have talked to his mom and she just seems so very NOT ap. poor kid.
That brings me to another thing. This ward is crazy. I have never seen so many BOTTLES!! In other wards, the moms weren't neccessarily very AP, but at least they had the decency to try to nurse their own precious offspring. I fully support the use of formula for moms who cannot nurse. But I am sorry, but all of those moms cannot be in a situation where bf is impossible. They are sahms, and they can't all have non-existent mammary glands!!!! When they announced at enrichment night in Oct that my neighbor had a homebirth, everyone was agast and horrified.
At least my neighbor is awesome. We are so much alike! The bad part is that she is leaving around april. It doesn't look like there is good crop to choose from when she goes. I am praying that I can find the good qualities in those that are left!
hugs to all you ladies! At least I have all of you
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Old 12-05-2002, 12:42 PM
 
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Just a random question kind of relating to RasJane's post. Was it Chumani that was having problems with finding a mother's lounge for her chapel in her area? How did that go? Did you get it resolved or is everyone still in the nursery? It seems like my dh said that all chapels are suppose to by church code have one. I hope things are better.
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Old 12-05-2002, 01:46 PM
 
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Hi Rasjane!! heheh

Our church has a "nursery" room that you can go to when nursing, and there are always other moms in there. that is a fun bonding experience. it is in the back of the sanctuary, with windows (1 way) looking in so you can still hear the service. I personally had no problem wearing a nice nursing shirt and nursing in church, but then again, I am weird. haha.

DH would cringe every time I did that! But, in my humble opinion, I think God is proud of me for nursing for so long. What better way to help grow his little children? I'm certainly not knocking bottle-feeders, it just is what we chose to do.

one funny side note, we were in church the other day, and I picked up ds from his class, and his teacher took me aside and said that Matthew said to her "Macie is our baby, and we love her. I"ll let you pet her if you want to".

hahah!
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Old 12-05-2002, 02:06 PM
 
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Hi, I've been reading everyone, not writing b/c I was making a million dolls for a craft show. Well, not a million. Anyhow, I just wanted to say to Katherine that I am also really sorry for your family, and you can come here and talk to us if you are feeling sad, sad or anything else.

I was also wondering how chumani was going with her quest for somewhere to nurse, etc. What Mollie describes sounds like when we lived in Germany, and our branch met for church in the post church, taking turns with other congregations, so we had Primary/Sunday School in the classrooms of the school next door, then SM in the chapel of the little church--so we had to go outside to cross the parking lot. So anyhow, in that church there was a "cry room" with glass that you could see and hear, and my mom always went in there when a baby wanted to nurse. My dad was on maneouvers a lot (Army) and so she had 4 5 6 kids to church alone a lot of the time. I am so amazed. I can't do church by myself, and I've only done it once. With 2.

Our LLL group meets in the branch building in the city (I don't go to church there), but I have tried hard to have a good contact with the people using that building so that our group can keep meeting there. They have given me my very own key and have given us "free reign" of the building, so with the branch and the stake's okay, we can continue meeting there! I'm so happy.
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Old 12-05-2002, 02:46 PM
 
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Hi everyone,

Many continued hugs and prayers to Katherine

I still don't have a place to nurse at church, to really top it off they called a couple in as nursery leaders, they don't have any children and he is REALLY uncomfortable about nursing. I have however decided that they will just have to deal with me!! Thanks to Jessica I have a great dress to wear to church as well as a really nice shirt to pair with a skirt. So I nurse in my meetings and don't miss anything anymore!!

HOWEVER, we are trying to move. Dh was very ill this last spring and we have totally overextended ourselves to try to keep the business afloat, having had to use our savings and dip into the business to keep bills payed while he took 3 months to recover. He is currently living in St. George working until we have enough $ to move. I might as well put the icing on my pitty party, Eliza came down with a stomach bug last Sunday, me on monday, I then caught the flu and still feel terrible when Jonah started the stomach bug last night, ALL NIGHT! Then (yes there is more) Eva got up at 6am, when Jonah had finally gone to sleep, and turned on the tree lights and started singing Christmas songs at the top of her lungs waking everyone!!! I love her Christmas spirit I just wish she would have waited a few hours!! The van is getting its brakes fixed so I have no vehicle, Dh won't be able to come home this weekend as there is no gas $. I have no idea how I am going to play Santa for my kids we are so broke!!

ANYWAY, Jonah seems to be much better this morning he finally nursed and is keeping it down. I took some much needed Advil and had some hot cocoa. I turned on some Christmas music and came to visit my favorite place on the web


Merry Christmas Everyone!!
I am going to go read some stories from the Friend to my kids and get my attitude back in adjustment!!


Sarah
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Old 12-05-2002, 09:37 PM
 
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Oh Chumani s and , I'm sorry to hear about everything. Who are your visiting teachers or some other friendly neighbors/sisters in the ward? Give them a call and let them know that you need some help. If we were closer by I would run right over! It's even nicer to have people just realize your needs and act but sometimes they just need to know first when you're in a crisis. I hope someone close by can do some things for you soon!

I have another random question. I came down with a cold Sunday night, something going around here. Except that it's attacked my tonsils like no other. It hurts to drink water so I'm lucky to eat a can of soup for the day and maybe drink 8 oz of water. It used to feel good but now it's only warm salt water that does the trick-I should add in here that i'm gargling every 5 min.s and after awhile using chloraseptic and then lidocain too, it hurts constantly and I haven't been able to sleep well the past 3 days. My throat culture comes back tomorrow so we'll know for sure but so far my throat has just gotten worse each day. I used to have tonsillitis alot when I was little and they should have taken them out then but by the time they were ready to I was too afraid for surgery. I haven't had it in years but if they could take them out now, which i'm going to really suggest tomorrow, then I would go in tomorrow. It's bad. My question is this.....ds is 20 mo.s and we're pretty close to being done nursing, he nurses twice a day and maybe one more time if there's an emergency boo boo (at nap and at night time). I know that I can pump and dump but I barely have any milk left as it is, it's more comfort sucking when he goes to sleep. And if I have to spend time in the hospital there'll be that separation anyway (which would be hard for both). I would miss the nursing and I guess we can take it back up after if needs be. What would you do? I'm probably jumping the gun as I don't know for sure what the dr. will say.
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Old 12-06-2002, 03:15 PM
 
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Oh, chumani, I am so sorry. Just like Drewsmom, I wish I could come right over and help out. I hope you have found some help or at least are feeling a bit better today.
Drewsmom, what did the doc say? As for continuing the bf. If ds is doing it mostly for comfort now and not expecting a meal, I think you will find that you can pick up again w/o too much trouble. I left ds with the grandparents for a 1 wk trip when he was 18 mo. I pumped and dumped 1x in morning and 1x at night. He was perfectly happy to have me back even though I hardly had any milk. i was getting like 2 oz each time I pumped! I built the supply back up just fine and he continued to nurse for another year and 1/2.
I so hope you are feeling better soon!
And Mollie- I agree with you . I think Heavenly Father is very proud of all the mamas who do all they can to give their babe the best. And I think nursing is one of those times when I was most connected with the miracle of creation (ecxept for birth of course). So I have no problem with nursing any time, anywhere.
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Old 12-06-2002, 04:19 PM
 
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Chumani, you could post your question on the EBF board and get lots of helpful ideas, I bet.
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Old 12-06-2002, 05:50 PM
 
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Thanks for all your kind words!! I am doing much better today, Jonah is feeling much better and dh called last night so I filled him in and he is going to come home this weekend after all My neighbor put our kids on the angel tree so I won't have to worry about Christmas.

Drewsmom- My favorite for a sore throat is hot lemon jello. You can make your own with unflavored gelatin but I just use the regular jello. It coats the throat and feels great! Best wishes!! When my son Noah was 11 mos old I had to have my appendics out and was gone for 4 days. He went right back to nursing like we had never been interrupted. My mom would have brought him to the hosp for me to nurse as they were really good about the meds I was taking but we live an hour from the hosp.

I love Christmas time!!! It is my favorite holiday! My house is all packed waiting for a house to move to in St. George but I couldn't pack my Christmas decorations. It helps make it not feel so empty too. I also have the laptop, and some books out as well as the kids homeschool stuff. I can hardly wait to move!!

What do you all do for Christmas? We put our tree up for the first fhe in Dec, we do the advent calendar in the friend-it is so neat!! it really helps keep the focus on Christ. I made a nativity that the kids can rearrange on the hearth so they leave my fragile ones alone. It was really easy to make out of 2x4 wood cut in various lengths and then felt cut and glued on. I have all the directions if any of you are interested. Noah uses it more for building blocks but the girls are very meticulous about how it should be arranged

Have a great day everyone!!

Merry Christmas!!
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Old 12-09-2002, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hello everyone. i've been reading, but haven't had a lot to post. my sympathy to katherine. glad things are looking up, chumani. we start christmas the day after thanksgiving. i love it so much. it even motivates me to get up early so i can study by the light of the tree. i've been doing a new kind of study lately that is so awesome. i've been using the fhe manual. I really felt a need to focus more on my family, so I pick a lesson and study it for a week. If I get done early, I do a topical study of the scriptures or read the Ensign. We have had 2 really great home evenings. It doesn't make sense, but the kids have actually sat there and listened and participated. It has been so wonderful to get that spiritual nourishment as well as having a nice home evening prepared. Dh got sort of fired, but his boss is still letting him work, but for less pay and no benefits. I couldn't believe the insurance bill. It was $750.00 and going up to $888 in Jan. Hopefully we will qualify for state ins. It is hard to have to be so tight with money, but it teaches me so much. I've been planning meals and baking bread. I don't buy junky treats or other stuff we don't need at the store. I feel more blessed and content with what I have and I feel a greater desire to give. It is hard to have no stability, savings, retirement, etc., but I have learned a good lesson, and I know the Lord will take care of us. Happy Holidays to you all. Love, Sarah btw, maybe a new thread is in order???
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Old 12-13-2002, 01:58 PM
 
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Just want to make sure everyone knows that we've moved on to "LDS mama's #8".
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